


Life a Little Bolder

by BelovedWithKindness, The_Weird_Kawaii



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Aaron Hotchner, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Bottom Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Intersex Spencer Reid, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, Pregnant Spencer Reid, Self-Esteem Issues, Top Aaron Hotchner, Vaginal Sex, hermaphrodite character, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:23:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 126,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelovedWithKindness/pseuds/BelovedWithKindness, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Weird_Kawaii/pseuds/The_Weird_Kawaii
Summary: Aaron, a year after his divorce from Hayley, is finally in a place to start dating again and things take a turn when he meets an interesting and sweet young man named Dr Spencer Reid, the new protege of his old co-worker Gideon.Note: This is a fantasy, obviously, please don't flame for realism issues around intersex biology/mpreg etc. In this story Spencer is hermaphroditic/intersex and identifies as male. He isn't part of the team yet but works with Gideon in a separate department at first.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Comments: 298
Kudos: 447





	1. What Goes with Scorpio

Hotch sat in his office, trademark serious expression bordering on scowl over his features as he filed reports and took calls, after a particularly wordy chat with Strauss he let himself breathe and lean back in his chair for a minute rubbing circles into his temple. Glancing out of his office window he looked to the rest of his team from JJ delivering new files to desks, Prentiss and Morgan sorting through the piles already on their desks, Penelope coming out of her den to refill her unicorn mug with coffee and Rossi talking to a couple other agents. 

Dammit Rossi…the man singlehandedly a driving force to try and get Aaron ‘out there’ again, they couldn't talk for two minutes without the guy bringing up a friend of a friend whom he could be set up with. He’d already been on a few dates and as much as they were lovely people there were just glaringly incompatible qualities between them every time, and he wasn’t some young seeker of whatever attention they’re willing to give, looking for flings or something that’ll do for long enough to get laid. 

He couldn’t deny that he wanted company, he was definitely a ‘settle down’ and serious relationship kind of guy, therefore the act of dating to get to know each other, while helpful, kind of sucked. He wasn’t into putting on appearances and the act of early stage dating was something so long since forgotten and while he knew it was likely temporary, the series of unfitting dates, until he found ‘the one’ it was a draining process and then he sometimes wondered to himself, perhaps pessimistically if there even was a ‘one’.

He has another date tonight, set up by Rossi of course, and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it but he had to be fair to the idea and the woman giving her time and attention. At least with Rossi finding people he was upfront about Hotch’s job and the fact he has a son which got a lot of incompatible matches out of the equation. Hotch had been asked out by a nice lady whom jogged the same route as him only two weeks ago and the moment she found out he had a son she had shifted from talking about her interests to just calling him handsome, angling for a fling rather than anything more and they called an end to it. 

It wasn’t that Hotch was prudish, anything but, he just knew what he wanted or at least part of it, and a major part of that was company that he could talk with, balance his life with and find joy in - not some stress outlet via sex. To be honest he felt perfectly fine being single, having been divorced for roughly a year now and separated even longer, with no pressure to be in a relationship socially and he could focus on work and maintaining his relationship with Jack who just turned four. But despite appearances of being stoic and a hard man - he was still human he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit it could get a little lonely from time to time. 

Shaking from his thoughts he returned to his paperwork and considered what Strauss was talking about, they’d received funding to possibly add another member to the team soon and while they could use the extra help he wasn't looking forward to interviewing candidates. On top of that with such a large case load the team had been getting help from Jason Gideon though only in profile writing and going over reports. After the Boston Bomber incident and taking some leave for mental health reasons Gideon had moved to profiling as an academic full time and occasionally worked on identifying cases and useful things for the BAU to take on. 

He’d meant to meet up with him and catch up at some point but things kept getting away from him with so much work to do, but Gideon had been working a lot more prolifically lately and the usually lone wolf of an agent had apparently started working with a new agent and ever since the work quality was unreal, full of statistics and a wealth of knowledge and problem solving. Weirdest thing of all was that Gideon let anyone into his work space period - but that was a mystery he’d have to figure out another time.

* * *

Star signs. Fucking horoscopes. Aaron couldn’t help but think over all the aura, mars in retrograde ramblings he had just endured the _whole_ date. The woman had been nice, pretty and what many called age appropriate but in her greeting she said her name and that she was an Aquarius as though they were equally relevant pieces of information. He’d been polite and figured she would stop talking about astrology at some point - but no - Aaron would bring up jack and she asked for his sign, Aaron talked about work and she would chime ‘typical Scorpio’ and there was no place safe from the woman’s love of the sudo-science subject.

Through the fog of astrology he’d managed to figure out enough that it wasn’t the only problem, they didn't have much in common in other areas either and so he paid for the meal and they parted ways, she’d been a little huffy probably thinking it had gone well or any blips were small regardless they weren’t a match.As he walked down the street and saw her to her car as a gentleman he saw the rain starting and he had parked a ten minute walk away due to lack of spaces in the area but it wasn’t a journey he would enjoy in he rain and was pondering between popping into a coffee shop to wait out the coming shower or just getting a cab.

He checked his phone and decided to call Rossi as he looked around for a place to go and started to talk over how the date went “so I’m guessing this was a dud?”

Hotch chuckled, not sour on the topic at all “well I'm a Scorpio and she’s an Aquarius, it was just never meant to be” he answered sarcastically earning a laugh from Rossi.

“Well better luck next time, at least you got out there and it wasn't too scary was it?” Rossi asked while Hotch found a small coffee shop open late and walked inside out of the rain getting heavier by the moment. 

“No I suppose not, but it’s not exactly my thing either, the whole dating life…” he admitted and waited in line as someone was being served and he looked to their selection. The place was interesting, it was a coffee shop crossed with book store and people would sit and sip while reading, able to re-shelf books afterwards if they preferred and a very relaxed atmosphere. 

“We just haven't found you the right match yet, what’s compatible with scorpio?” Dave teased.

“How would I know?” Hotch replied “anyway, see you tomorrow, Dave.”

“Chin up, that way you’ll be able to see when the right one comes along” he older man said kindly and they ended the call. 

Aaron ordered his drink and made it decaf given the late hour and the server said to take a seat and she’ll bring it to his table. Looking around there weren’t many people but he went to find a corner to relax in and there were large bookcases shaping the layout of the place. Turning around one corner of a large bookcase Hotch was a little surprised when he bumped into or was bumped into by a stranger, the person carrying a stack of books it was a wonder they could even carry them and in the unexpected jostling a couple treated to slip and fall. 

Thinking quickly Aaron caught them and said “oh, I'm so sorry” although he was pretty sure and didn’t mind that it wasn’t really his fault. 

“N-no, I…I should have taken more trips, sorry, I” came the nervous ramble, the young man’s voice soft but a little on the panicky side and very apologetic, in the flurry of books and shy posture hiding in his wavy brown hair Hotch didn’t get a good look at him until he went to return the books. 

“Oh no worries, really” he said kindly before forgetting how to speak for a moment. The young man appeared bashful, absolutely didn’t want to be any inconvenience and for lack of a better term - he was adorable. Young, slim and with a very pretty face, his cheeks flustered pink and big eyes like a deer in headlights and clutching the impressive pile of books to his torso. “Uh, you need a hand there?” Hotch offered in a friendly tone, making himself snap out of it,his voice turned a little dry and he hesitated with books in hand, he loathed to obscure that pretty face by piling the books back up and suddenly felt a little flustered himself.

Again the young man stammered a little “oh n-no, I’ll be fine, I-I…”

“It’s no problem, really, where’s your table?” he made sure to make it known he really wasn’t inconvenienced and when the young man went to gesture the direction of his table the stack was made even wonkier and another went to fall, Hotch just smiled and caught it and lightened the load by taking another precariously positioned one. “Easier?” he said with a rare smile and the stranger’s blush reddened but he did nod shyly, instantly looking so sweet it was hard not to stare.

“Much easier, thank you - I hate to be a bother” he said both gratefully and feeling awkward. 

“It’s fine really” he emphasised and the brunette paused a moment, trying to remember how to function as a human being before he lead the way to his table and placed the books down with some relief to his arms and Aaron followed suit. It was only then did Aaron notice what the books were - some were statistics and reference materials for the local city and all sorts, population analysis and on the table were papers and…files…

“Do you work for the bureau?” Aaron couldn't keep himself for asking as he looked at the logo on the file cover.

“Uh….y-yes, I uh…I teach and assist for someone there” the young added, mindlessly tucking hair behind his ear nervously. 

The older man took that in and decided to finally introduce himself “Aaron Hotchner,” he said and held his hand out to shake “I work in the-”

“Oh the BAU?” the bookworm blurted, so focused on the information he didn’t notice the invitation to shake hands so Aaron retracted it unnoticed “I…uh, I work with Jason Gideon,” he explained and Hotch couldn’t contain his surprise by that, the man was so young, he looked like a teen frankly!

“You must be doing a great job” he complimented and the young agent looked surprised, “my team have received so many more files lately and expertly done…” looking to the books Aaron wondering how in the world the stranger was panning on reading everything on the table “I’m presuming that’s in thanks to you.”

“Oh no, I can’t take the credit, I uh…I mean…” he said in a flurry and he seemed to struggle with something “well, I should but…” and he seemed a little embarrassed “Gideon tells me to be a bit bolder - so uh…I helped” he finally was able to admit, making himself not completely shrink under praise and it was quite the sight “thank you for noticing the hard work” he managed to get our sweetly, trying to be confident, but it didn’t come easily to him. 

“Absolutely,” Hotch said and could’t help but be mesmerised by the young man “I hope I'm not disturbing you, you appear to be a bit busy.”

“No, n-not at all, I’m just finishing up some reports…” he made sure to let Hotch know he was not unwelcome “I’ve admired your work for some time, profiling is of great interest to me” he gushed “what your team does is truly remarkable” and he seemed better, more energetic talking about other people than himself and quickly he was rambling about cases he knew of and with great passion he barely took a breath and being very complimentary. 

“Thank you very much,” Aaron said, for once in his life trying to fight a blush under the young man’s praise “though if you're working with Gideon I’d imagine you're well into profiling yourself” he smiled, amazed by the knowledge to hand in the agent’s mind. 

“Oh uh…Gideon’s taught me a lot, but I'm not anything like what the BAU can do, I…”

“I should look over your reports at some point, see what’s in the classes you teach, I'm sure they’re really strong work” Hotch said clearly and watched him become even more bashful.

“W-well…if you want to” he got out, blush not about to budge any time soon, the image of him just so cute.

Aaron smiled and then he realised something “um…you haven’t told me your name?” 

Instantly the man looked so sheepish “oh I’m so sorry, I-I’m Spencer, D-Dr Spencer Reid” he speedily tried to say only becoming more flustered by the second “I can’t believe I was so rude, you must think I’m a mess. So sorr-”

“Not at all…” Hotch reassured and the more he saw of the man he was indefinably brilliant but…a little insecure maybe, certainly nervous of people and social situations. Deciding not to point it out or make him dwell on the small slip up he changed the subject “Dr huh? No offence but you seem awfully young…”

“I’m 23…” Spencer said “I know I look like I’m in high school” he shrugged, hearing that quite a lot. 

“Even so,” Aaron replied, the man looking closer to seventeen but 23 was still very young “a doctor at 23 is very impressive, what’s your PhD in?”

Immediately he answered with “I have three, Mathematics, Chemistry and Engineering, then BAs Psychology and Sociology…” his tone wasn’t boastful. just factual and Aaron stared a little stunned. 

“…wow…you must be a genius…”

Again there was no ego in the balance when Spencer spoke honestly “I’m not keen on the term genius, technically I am, but intelligence is more than an IQ of 187, and eidetic memory and being able to read 20,000 words per minute” and finally the young agent seemed to notice just how shocked the man in front of him was but wasn’t sure how to handle it “I’m talking too much, I’m sorry, I’m taking up a lot of your time” he rambled and it had only been a flurry of a couple minutes and even if it had been an hour the time was certainly not misplaced. 

He couldn’t explain it but Aaron already felt invested, the person in front of him more than fascinating man and only becoming more beautiful by the second. “You’re really not, I’m enjoying talking to you” he admitted and fought the heat in his face as being so open.

“Really?” Spencer replied but his tone was curious, he looked surprised and maybe a little confused too, did he really think he was some sort of burden? No wonder Gideon was encouraging the brilliant young man to be bolder. Sweetly however the genius replied “um, well….same, sir” and he felt a little flutter in his chest.

“No ‘sir’ needed, this isn’t work hours” Aaron said with a genuine smile and hazel eyes didn’t leave it, Hotchner looks so handsome when he smiles like that and it was impossible to look away. Spencer had thought he was handsome the moment he laid eyes on him - masculine, strong, but when he smiled it was something…he didn't know how to describe it. Warm, perhaps and it gave him butterflies especially as he continued to be very kind and welcoming to the usually thoroughly awkward genius. 

The server came by with Aaron’s coffee and smiled “here you are, sir.”

“Why thank you very much” Aaron replied politely and she left, he paused for a moment as he considered how to respond, not wanting to leave just yet but not wishing to linger unwanted “um do you mind if I join you? you seem busy and I wouldn't want to impose…”

Rather than any of the responses he expected the genius looked thoroughly puzzled “you want to sit with me?” confused as to how the man found him so interesting that he would spend his time with him. “Don’t worry about it, I wouldn't be offended, I’m not great at reading social cues so if it seems like you have to sit with me, you don’t, I-”

“Spencer, I’m asking if you would like my company because _I_ like your company” Aaron said clearly, this guy really felt like he was in the way, so confused by anyone taking interest in him and there was a pang of guilt there, that he should feel such an outsider.

“Umm…sure, okay” Spencer answered eventually but Aaron could tell by his expression and lost tone he didn't know what to make of it. “P-please, sit” he said politely and moved some of the books aside before finally after all that chatter already taking their seats together.

“Thank you” Aaron said sincerely “you can continue with reports if you prefer, I don't want to get in the way of anything, but if you're free…I’d be real curious to get to know you better…” he hoped that sounded smoother than it sounded to him.

“You would?” again he questioned “umm…that would be fine…” and gave a smile, it was shy but it was there and god he was breathtaking. 

It was a little awkward to start but soon enough the pair were talking and getting to now each other, they started by talking about Spencer’s education and work, then about Aaron’s, then books…they somehow got onto talking about the theatre and having fun, learning moment after moment that they actually had a whole lot in common despite the age gap and even music, the young academic not your typical person in their early twenties and more into the works of Bob Dylan before moving swiftly to Beethoven. 

Before they knew it the place was closing and they were having such fun they didn’t want it to end. Shy smiles were shared and already Spencer opened up a little more, still nervous and still confused as to why someone found him so interesting, but he at least did believe it was the case. Hotch had only just met he guy, not quite in a position to press social anxieties or personal issues, but he really wished Spencer knew he wasn't taking any time he wasn't freely willing to spend on him.

Spencer started to pack up some books and put some back on the shelves and quickly bought a few too putting them in his book bag and carrying a couple, he held them to his chest as he walked a body language tell that he tried to make himself smaller instinctually. They continued talking the whole way, not quite ready to stop and for the first time in a long time Hotch was really enjoying himself, any tension from before with his dating disappointments was gone and he was just having a great time.

Leaving the store reluctantly and stepping to the pavement neither could just leave it as is and walk away, Spencer becoming a little fidgety and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear by habit and Aaron needed to say something. “Spencer?” he managed but his mind went black after that.

“Yes?” 

“I…really enjoyed getting to know you,” he answered, just speaking the truth “i know we’ve only just met but I’d like to continue if you would,” and Spencer seemed surprised again, wondering why the man was being so polite “is there some way I can contact you, or would you like to meet for coffee again?” What he’d asked was casual, very light compared to just how much he wanted the answer to be an accepting one, his own nerves starting to play up a little. He couldn't deny it, he was instantly enamoured by him, and he didn’t want to act like some idiot, he was so much older than the genius and he could be coming across as intimidating or creepy and he could only hope his genuine interest was understood enough. 

“Oh I uh….i would like that” he said and a tension left, though Aaron tried to tell himself it was only platonic and to not get his hopes up in too specific a manner, they’d only just met but man was Spencer something else. Regardless he would enjoy the mans friendship if it was offered. 

Spencer gave him his phone number and smiled shyly “I enjoyed talking to you too, s-” about to say ‘sir’ by habit. 

“You can call me Aaron” Hotch offered.

“Well thank you for the company, Aaron” Spencer spoke, his jitteriness having faded a great deal the more they talked and they shared a smile in a lingering moment. “I should really get going, have a nice night.”

“You too, good night, Spencer.” 

* * *

Hotch lay in bed, alone and both tired from the long day but also riled from the coffee he had shared with the genius, his night sure had taken a turn, he’d went from scowling at work and enduring a dead end date to loving that time spent with Spencer. How cute he was looking over the tower of books, how brilliant a mind he had, how beautiful and so shy though. He couldn’t help but wonder if anything happened in his life to make him so nervous but it wasn't his place to ask, at least not yet.

His face hurt form smiling so much, he really had to get himself under control, the whole smitten thing was very out of character for him but he just couldn’t help it. What would his coworkers think of him, smiling like he’d lost his mind?! Time after time as he lay there, going over the mountain of information the pair had share together over a simple coffee, enthused about all sorts from the arts and culture and getting to know each other at least somewhat, and that damned smile would come back, sneaking its way over his features and would try to shake it off again to no avail. 

What had he gotten himself into?


	2. First Dates and Understandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date.

The next day at work Hotch was noticeably…cheery…it was odd to witness but perfectly welcome, subtle though it was it didn’t take a profiler to read his positive mood and for Rossi in particular he found himself curious knowing that his date last night hadn't been a good fit. Finding a window to nip into Hotch’s office the older profiler flashed a smile and said “come on then…out with it…” taking a seat.

Aaron stilled in his note making to look at his colleagues raised brow inquisitively “what do you mean?” he said, not quite making the eye contact he usually would and it got Rossi chuckling. 

“You’d had that little thing on your face all day…what’s it called…oh yeah, a smile” he teased “I thought your date was a bust last night?” 

“Oh well, after the date…I ran into someone at a coffee shop” he admitted but tried to keep his facial expression under control. 

Immediately Rossi asked “was she pretty?” cutting through any subtlety.

“ _He_ …actually” Hotch corrected, Rossi one of the few who knew Aaron was bisexual and even some of the blind dates arranged by the man had been with males, Rossi nodded understandingly. “And yes, pretty, but thats not the point” this time he couldn't contain the smile as he indulged in the thoughts about the young man. 

“Ooh did someone have a little private company?” Rossi asked implying bedroom activities.

“No…it was just coffee,” he quickly made clear “but I've not had a conversation like that in…ever…” 

“Sounds promising, what’s he like?” Dave asked, more than intrigued by the mystery man, especially if after all the dates he’s set up someone was finally taking Aaron’s interest and making him smile over a simple coffee.

“He’s incredible” came the unabashed compliment “we talked about literature, poetry, art, music, theatre…never seen anyone like him, a literal genius…I think he said PhDs in Math, Chemistry _and_ Engineering.”Rossi’s brows raised, more than impressed, “he’s young though…” Aaron admitted “but that only makes him even more impressive.”

“Well with three PhDs he can’t be that young…” Rossi tried.

“He’s 23” Aaron added and the look of shock returned to the older agent “yeah, I know…we spoke a fair bit, he graduated high school at twelve years old, it’s unreal…to be honest if he wasn’t part of the Bureau I’d have wondered if he was even 18…”

“…huh…” Rossi let that settle “wait…he’s part of the bureau?”

“Yeah…he works with Gideon” he said with a sigh and the more he spoke the more it sounded like some crazy dream he’d had.

“Gideon? Seriously?” and Aaron could only nod “is he the protege I’ve been hearing rumours about?”

“I didn’t ask that much about them” Hotch answered “but he said he works with him, they use profiling for academia and to help with our cases, he’s got an eidetic memory and he can just summon all sorts of statistics like it’s breathing…he even said Gideon tells him to be more bold and confident, I’ve never heard Gideon talk like that.”

“This kid sure seems to have a talent for softening the tough guys…” Rossi teased with a knowing smirk, not just talking about the elusive Gideon, but the serious Hotch too. “You got it bad, Aaron…”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’ve learned more about this guy over one coffee than I did any of my ex wives” he joked, but only partly and they shared a small chuckle. “Hey, so the guy’s a little young…but if he’s accomplished all that he must have a good head on his shoulders” he started to say more helpfully “and if you talked about all that there must have been a spark…did you get his number?”

“Yes…” Aaron said, appreciating Dave’s input “it was just coffee, it might just be friendly, I…”

At that point Emily knocked on the office door, she was welcomed in and she smiled “hey, hope I’m not interrupting?” Shaking their heads she said “Hotch, you like theatre, you free this Friday?” 

“Sure, to see what?”

“I have tickets to see Much Ado About Nothing Friday night but my mom’s flying in from France and so now I can't go, you want them?” she offered and held up the pair of tickets.

“Uh sure…if you can’t use them” he replied and she handed him the tickets with a smile “thanks” before she headed back out to continue working, not seeing Rossi’s smile curl into a grin. 

“Maybe you should invite your coffee date fella?”

“It wasn't a date” Aaron reminded him.

“Sure…” Dave teased sceptically “even so…this _could_ be a date” he added pointing to the tickets “you said he likes theatre…”

Aaron couldn’t argue with that, and he did want to see him again, but he felt a nervousness at the idea of asking him - what if it was too forward? what if he was straight or dating someone already? or maybe just not interested in dating an older, sour faced workaholic divorcee with a kid when the genius was still only twenty three…letting out a sigh he had to steel himself for disappointment, but also try to find the words to ask for friendship above all else, anything romantic he just had to try and find out if it was a possibility. 

* * *

At the end of the day Hotch stared at his phone, the number he’d saved into his contacts under ‘Spencer’ as tempting as it was intimidating, he felt like he was facing an abyss without any way to know what he was walking into until it was too late to know if he had been utterly foolish. Summoning a little courage he took a deep breath and told himself nothing ventured nothing gained as he finally hit the call button. 

Hearing it ring he wondered how a lithe bookworm who was so nervous to even say hello had gotten him so jelly legged without even trying, he was used to being able to stare down the biggest and baddest in the world but those hazel eyes seemed to be his undoing. After a few rings the genius picked up and the older man was quick to say “Hello Spencer, it’s Aaron…from the coffee shop” trying to keep his voice calm and friendly rather than jittery or intense as he felt.

“Hi, I uh…I would have remembered without saying ‘from the coffee shop’” the genius said, a little nervous in his tone but that was to be expected “n-not that I’m saying you forgot my eidetic m-memory” he suddenly panicked a little, feeling he was being rude somehow “I m-meant that I enjoyed the coffee, not the coffee itself, having the coffee _with_ you there, I…I” he rambled and eventually had to stop and take a steadying breath, likely feeling a little embarrassed, “…what I _meant_ to say was ‘hi Aaron, how nice of you to call…how are you?’”

Aaron made sure his laugh wasn’t audible, not wanting to risk making the man feel any more embarrassed even though he was actually just being thoroughly adorable, it was endearing really so he didn’t bring it up and just focused on being friendly. “I’m good, I really enjoyed our coffee last night too, it’s nice to talk with someone with so much in common…and I was just wondering if you had any plans this Friday?”

There was a long pause, and while Aaron’s mind started to tell him he was putting himself way too out there he also had observed enough of the genius to know he was likely confused by someone wanting to spend time with him which still rubbed the older man the wrong way. How did someone so brilliant and talented and sweet think they were so much less than they were? At least he knew he was a genius and did great work, he was learning to be more confident which was good to see. 

“Umm, n-no…I don’t have plans” Spencer answered eventually, a little shy still.

Steeling his nerves for rejection but hoping for the best Aaron spoke “well it’s just that if I don't have a case this Friday I have tickets to see Much Ado About Nothing…and I was wondering if you would like to go with me?” There was a stunned silence, he should be used to the sound of it by now, but the pause was long enough that he wondered if he was putting the young man too much on the spot, he had tried not to, his tone friendly and light, “you don’t have to” Hotch added “I just really liked your company and we both like the theatre, I thought it would be fun to go together but if you’d rather not I completely underst-”

“Sure,” Spencer interrupted, his voice like he was in a pressure cooker somewhat like he might have been arguing with himself to just answer and struggling through his thoughts until finally a word made it through. “If…if you really want to go with me…I would really like that.”

The confusion, maybe a wariness, was still in his voice but it was sincere and it was of some relief to the older man’s ears. But it wasn’t enough, he needed to be clear on their footing and summoned some bravery as he continued “I do want to go with you…and actually, this might be a little forward, we only met the other day…but…” and he felt himself hesitate, only for a moment, he pushed through it “but I would like to be completely honest with you, I like you're companionship as a friend, and if that’s all you’d like out of it that’s perfectly fine with me…but I also would be pretending if I said I wasn’t hoping this could be…a date?”

“A…a date?” he heard over the call, the young man clearly feeling like he heard wrong and Aaron had to hold out hope the stuttering was just the surprise, “you…wait…what….” he stuttered “…what do you mean? Like a…did you just ask me on a date? I must have heard wrong…” Spencer’s voice wasn’t mad or disappointed, it wasn’t the idea of a date with Aaron making him feel awkward, it was the idea of Aaron wanting to date him that left him confused .

Aaron ran a hand through his hair trying to calm his own nerves as his hopes hung in the air, and he also felt a pang in his chest over whatever must have happened to the sweet young man to make him so doubtful or people’s affections towards him. Deciding to be clear and reassuring, as unsure as Aaron felt approaching this it was nothing compared to what the genius clearly felt on it so he lead the way for both of them “Spencer, you heard me right, I would love for us to go on a date, I think you’re fascinating and sweet, you’re attractive and I am interested in seeing where this could go…but only if you want the same thing…”

Again there was a long pause, this time Aaron didn’t have the creeping nervousness but only because he was so focused on what the genius might say next. Luckily the pause seemed to be a mixture of a surprised and thoughtful one when Spencereventually said, his voice a little quiet but it was there “o-okay…I uh…I wasn’t expecting, I don’t know why you…I…” and he sighed trying to collect his thoughts “…from what I know about you…I don’t think you would be dishonest to me…i-if you really mean it… _yes_ , I would very much like to go on that date with you, Aaron.”

* * *

Hotch stood in his house, fully dressed and looking in the mirror, not wanting to look too much and not too little, at least they were going to the theatre and so the attire was easier enough to gauge but that didn’t help his nerves telling him tie after tie was ugly, then that no tie was unacceptable only to start the process over again. He was nervous. The strong, serious agent with a stare to make unsubs weep…was all kinds of week kneed at the idea of this date. 

He really liked this young man, he appeared so good hearted and he deserved to know just how desirable and amazing he was! Sure the anxieties were there, what if Spencer after all of that just didn’t like him? wasn’t attracted to him? thought he was too old? didn’t want something serious? didn’t…didn’t want to embrace Jack? He hadn’t told Spencer about his son yet and the more he thought about it the more he wished he had done before it was officially a date, if only he’d mentioned it during the coffee but it just never came up!

Just as he was about to tear his tie off again to try another one he heard his phone ringing and he filled with dread silently praying it wasn’t a case, luckily however he quickly realised it was the house phone and not his cell and he felt some relief. Picking put the handset Aaron greeted “hello” only to realise it was Hayley and in typical ‘divorced but share a child’ fashion talked practically and efficiently.

“Hey Aaron, you got five minutes?” she asked not leaving time for him to answer and fully intending on taking up more than five minutes “Jack’s pre-school called and they want another review and I would like for both of us to go, he’s coming along great in arts and crafts, physical activities, game playing but they’d added some worksheets for him to try and they recommend doing them at home so I know you want to just have chill father son time when he visits but if you could complete them with him regularly that would be great. Also h-”

“Hayley…” Aaron respectful had to interrupt “can we talk about this tomorrow, I’ll be all ears and the worksheets are fine with me, right now I’m a little busy is all” he excused trying o be at least a little vague.

“Busy…at this time of night?” she questioned, she had called his house phone so he wasn’t on a case, the only times he had been unavailable in the evenings was usually when she went straight to voicemail because he was out and she was pretty confident in her understanding of the situation “like a date?” she asked neutrally, no edge to her tone at all.

Aaron meanwhile let the moment pass between them, he hadn’t said to her that he was entering dating again but it was an inevitable revelation and a good one, in fact Hayley had a boyfriend herself although he didn’t know much about him and Jack had only ever said that the man was nice. “Yes…” he answered simply.

The tone turned less practical and much more friendly all of a sudden as she said “oh well I shouldn’t be taking up your time, I’ll call tomorrow to go over things for Jack.” And they could both tell it was actually calming news, both in a good place and moved on, ready for new opportunities, “have a nice night, be a gentleman” she chimed with a small laugh “I’ll kiss Jack goodnight for you.”

“Thanks, Haley” Aaron replied “goodnight” and they hung up, leaving him to stare back at the pile of ties rejected and deciding Spencer likely wouldn’t care what he went with, he was being silly, and just focused on getting ready for a date could only hope went well for both of them.

* * *

The play was a perfect one for a date, it was fun and darling, not too long and not too short and the production did a great job as Spencer and Aaron watched from the stalls. The first Act Hotch was thoroughly distracted from the story, the young man looked absolutely gorgeous in a lilac shirt and dark waistcoat, he was adorable yet dressed like an academic, something respectful but not necessarily plain. 

Thoroughly charmed, all Aaron could focus on was Spencer’s bright hazel eyes as they watched the play, the shy smiles they exchanged and nervousness in the genius’ voice and gestures, and finally his laugh - Much Ado was a comedy after all. It was only really during the Beguiling of Beatrice and Benedick that had Hotch fully relaxed, and seemingly Spencer too, as both laughed and the actors did a particularly grand job of it.

During a calmer scene, the actor playing Don Pedro particularly soothing to listen to, Spencer much to Aaron’s surprise leaned over only a little and said kindly “thank you for inviting me, Aaron” in a quiet whisper followed by a smile and he looked absolutely breathtaking. “It’s been a long while since I made the time to see a play.”

“Thank you for coming with me” Aaron replied and a place seemed to linger between them, “after this…would you like to go for a drink or something?”

“….sure”and again the genius appeared puzzled, though possibly more curious now and no longer in denial that it was indeed the case - he still smiled which was the most important part. 

The play came to an end, applause strong in appreciation to the production before the pair left and headed to a nearby bar, somewhere not too loud and they spent the whole walk talking about the play in a fun and energised chatter, Spencer a lot more relaxed by then. Eventually they reached the bar and found a private booth to share a drink together, the lights of the place pretty and emphasising the other as they held a gaze with smiles.

“A scotch man?” Spencer said with a smile, his own simple gin and tonic refreshing compared to the hard stuff, “can’t say I’m surprised, did you know lawyer’s top two favourite drinks tend to be whiskey and wine? Well…next to coffee” he said, buy now Spencer’s endlessly knowledgable mind of no surprise “which is rare compared to other professions where beer usually takes one of those spots.”

“Is that so?" Aaron replied, the unreal amount of facts and figured the young man knew continued to astound, and his enthusiasm for them thoroughly charming “and is it gin for geniuses?”

“You know I guess my statistics on drinking demographics is lacking in that department” Spencer admitted “I don’t think companies market to groups based on IQ…though that would be a very interesting experiment…” he mused and they both chuckled.

“I have to say…I’m very glad you accepted my invitation for tonight…” Aaron said softly, smile not fading any time soon “you seemed a little surprised by my asking.”

Hazel eyes tried to read those words but there wasn’t much more to it that the sincerity and the genius nodded “I’m glad you asked me…and you’re right…” he spoke trying to search his mind for how to approach the subject without ruining the mood “I don’t get asked out much…and especially not by guys like you.”

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked, nothing in Spencer’s tone was teasing or offensive, it was thoroughly genuine and gentle even so he knew the ‘guys like you’ comment wasn’t anything negative towards him at least, perhaps the opposite.

“Umm…you know…you’re handsome, successful…” Spencer complimented, a cute blush creeping over his cheeks and it made Hotch’s usually stoney heart flutter “just…you could ask anybody…and you asked me?” he questioned, letting his confusion show in the last part but at least they were finally addressing it. 

Aaron thought over how to best approach the topic and figured honesty was always the best policy “this may be a little blunt…but I get the impression that you don’t know just how incredible you are” he complimented and Spencer’s eyes watched him for any sign that he was being overly polite or anything of the like and none was there “it doesn’t take a profiler to see that you seem to think that you're in the way…and believe me, you’re definitely not…I think you're smart, we have a lot in common, you’re interesting, funny, gorgeous…”

“Gorgeous?” Spencer repeated, but it wasn’t bashful, it was almost like he couldn’t respond to that another way than to assume it was a joke but Aaron stood his ground and kept strong eye contact, not letting him think for a second that he didn’t mean exactly what he had said. Slowly it seemed to sink in and he turned contemplative “y-you’re serious?” his voice so quiet Aaron only just made it out.

“Completely” Aaron said firmly “the fact that you don’t know that is killing me over here” he said with a warmth, his words weren't complaintive - instead thoroughly supportive. 

“You really mean that…” Spencer realised, it wasn't a question only voicing aloud and letting it sink in as he thought over it, trying to figure out some puzzle in his head. He couldn’t help it. He was wary…had no reason not to trust Aaron,he was well respected, professional, a real hero…just amazing to him and the fact that he was here saying these things to him? It was a lot to take in and even more to attempt to understand after a lifetime of being told the opposites. “I do believe you” Spencer affirmed “it’s just…it’s going to take me a while to umm…” 

“It’s okay…I feel like whatever this block is is something you’ve dealt with for a long time, this is only our first official date” Aaron did his best to take the pressure off his date whom was opening up more and more which was great progress “but I have to say if anyone’s told you something other, that you’re anything less…they’re in the wrong, I just hope even if you can’t fully understand why I’m saying you at least accept that I genuinely do like you as I say I do.”

To that Spencer smiled and nodded, a sweet and silent exchange between them and the genius appeared…flattered. Feeling flattered meant he believed the words, that he could hold them personally and Aaron was relieved the man was finally accepting at least some of the praise was real and something he could engage with, however small the steps might be. The young man exhaled and managed to relax a little again and said “you must think I’m really shy…I am…I…it’s not easy being different and I’ve been glaringly ‘different’ my whole life…” Spencer shared, letting Aaron know at least a little more about it.

“I would imagine with a mind like yours you stood out, graduating high school at twelve too…it makes sense” Aaron replied understandingly.  Spencer smiled though he seemed to be a little in his own head, like there was something he wanted to add but Aaron wasn’t about to push him any further and decided to change the subject “so, on a lighter note…how did you end up working with Gideon?” he asked with a smile and in a beautiful sound the genius giggled a little.

“Oh that…yeah…” started off trying to collect his words, still a little focused on his earlier thoughts “in the academy I focused a lot on linguistic or handwriting analysis and geographical profiling, I wrote a few reports and next thing I know after one of Gideon’s talks he saw me after and asked about a particular paper where I looked at an old case. I used linguistic analysis to go over some of the unsub’s letters and made a pretty accurate profile based on it….Gideon said I found out a lot from just one letter that had been found early in the handling of the case, if they’d had that sort of analysis at the time they’d have made much faster progress and saved lives. Next thing I know he’s asking for my opinion on things or to contribute to certain studies…then I started working with him.”

“He can be pretty intense huh…a real enigma a lot of the time” Aaron mused “but he clearly saw something in you…have you ever thought of applying to the BAU?”

“Uh…” Spencer hesitated “I mean…I _thought_ about it…but I can barely hold a gun straight…besides…wouldn’t that make you my boss?” he brought up that question and both faced the difficult reality of that idea. 

“True…” Aaron admitted “I hope you know I didn’t ask that in any pressuring way, if you applied I’d be the utmost professional.”

“Of course” Spencer replied, knowing full well Hotch wouldn’t use his position to his advantage in a personal manner “but there are rules about fraternising and…it can be hard to be objective…” Spencer considered fairly “that said…should the opportunity arise on its own and I chose to apply…I do believe you’d treat everyone fairly…you’re reputation speaks of an honest and just personality…” he analysed. 

“Why thank you…” Aaron smiled “and as for the gun - technically you can be an unarmed profiler, or I could tutor you if you’d like, but the real weapon is the profile. Then rules around fraternising, don't worry about that…so long as it doesn't interfere with work it isn’t really a factor, besides I work with David Rossi - the menace of the HR department” Aaron added and both laughed.

Spencer nodded going over his date’s words and took a deep breath, he was enjoying himself and the more he learned about Aaron the more he fell for him, something so strong and brave about him it was hard not to get weak at the knees and then he was being so kind to him too, but there something he needed to ask. “Aaron, can I ask you…about this? Like, us? dating….” he got a little frazzled “about us dating?” he clarified getting out of the muddle. 

“Sure…of course.” 

“Wh….what are you looking for?” Spencer asked, his big hazel eyes mesmerising in the rather open question “like I know this is only the first date…but…do you have an idea of what you want in general” before he decided it might be a little unfair to ask and not say himself too, putting Aaron on the spot so he added “because if I’m honest…I’m not a casual or fling type of person…”

Aaron watched Spencer emotionally wrestle with himself, it took a bit of bravery to ask those things of someone and to be bare and it certainly wasn’t easy for the genius so the positive step was much appreciated, plus it was only music to his ears that Spencer wanted the same thing as he did. “That’s a relief” Aaron said and Spencer’s expression adorably brightened somewhat “neither am I…I’m definitely more of a serious relationship kind of guy” he answered with a smile and both felt a great deal more at ease. 

The smile shared between them just then felt weightier, fuller now they had both voiced just what they were looking for and that they might be compatible - but that step only made Aaron realise there was something he really needed to explain - Spencer still didn’t know about Jack! And clearly if spencer was wanting to clarify such a thing this date was going well on both sides so it only became more and more important that he bring it up. For the first time in a fair while during their date did Aaron’s nervousness take over again, he really wasn’t used to being so on edge and more accustomed to solid footing but he figured it might be worth it. He just hoped neither of them would be disappointed when he brought it up. 

“Spencer, umm…I’m really liking where this is going and so…I have something I need to tell you before this goes any further” he started sounding much calmer than he felt “it’s only fair, and so we know if there’s an impasse…I hope there isn’t but…”

“Actually…” Spencer started and bit his lip in an slightly anxious fidget “there’s something I need to say too, like you said…it’s only fair.”

Curious as to what it could be Aaron paid it little mind except that when the time came to be as open and honest as he could be and prayed for it in return as he nodded and said “alright…I kind of wish I’d said this earlier, I really didn’t mean to keep this quiet it just never came up…but…I have a son” Aaron said and Spencer didn’t have any visible negative reaction which was a good sign “his name is Jack…and he’s four, he’s from my previous marriage and he live’s with his mother…I’ve been divorced for a year and separated even longer.”

The information hung up in the air, Spencer had quite the poker face and frankly he had mentioned a few times that he failed to see certain social cues and by that reasoning he likely didn’t think to actively show any either which was okay, it was just the way he was. Starting to feel like the information might be their undoing as the seconds felt like a small eternity it was of great relief when the genius eventually smiled warmly “Jack, huh?” the young man mused sweetly “it means ‘God is gracious’…that’s so nice” and no rejection came. 

“You’re alright with that?” Aaron tested though he felt he could tell the answer.

“Yes” Spencer smiled “I like kids…they don’t always like me” he chuckled “but kids are so curious, and four years old? He must be asking a hundred questions a day” he said with an appreciation for the active minds and sense of wonder in children. 

Aaron let out a breath he didn’t know he'd been holding and smiled back “I’m glad to hear that…I was a little worried you might think it was a lot, I don’t want to judge you based on age either but I know a lot of people wouldn’t want to take on so much.”

Spencer smiled and it warmed Aaron’s heart to see “one little boy isn’t going to scare me off” he said and the full acceptance by the young agent was more than he had expected “besides…actually, this isn’t the thing I was going to bring up, but I’d might as well say…I grew up with my mom…having schizophrenia” he informed and Aaron was surprised by that but things were starting to add up about the genius “and my dad wasn’t around after a while…so roles kind of switched early on, I had to play parent for her…so no, I don’t find the idea of your son, whom I’m sure is a gentleman, to be anything but a good thing.”

To hear Spencer say that made Aaron only feel like he was falling for him and hard, those eyes held a depth in them that told a great deal of resilience and hardship but also a significant maturity despite his lack of years and after hearing about his mother it all started to add up. “Thank you,” Aaron smiled “I really appreciate that…and he is definitely a little gentleman” he beamed as a proud father should. 

Spencer giggled “does he look like you?” curious to know what he looked like. Aaron was quick to get his phone and find a picture of his son and show it to him and seeing the genius’ expression only be positive made him relax a great deal “he does look like you” Spencer assessed “though I’m guessing his chin in his mom’s?” 

He hadn’t really thought of it and Aaron too looked at the picture, studying his son’s face and for all he could see the boy was a mixture of Hayley and himself with a leaning to Aaron it was only then did he outright identify the genius was correct “yeah, I never noticed but it’s exactly like Hayley’s, he changes so much every day it’s hard to keep up with everything happening but he’s his own little person now” he said fondly, clearly a loving father and Spencer admired it very much. 

“He’s clearly your pride and joy” Spencer said watching Aaron’s expressions change, the man was so strong and tough but the moment his son was the topic he seemed to soften, at least in his soul, and it was a quality well worth appreciating. 

“He is…” Aaron agreed “so…now that we know that isn’t an issue” he started and their eyes met, the tension had left for the sweet while talking about Jack but it returned full force as it was now Spencer’s turn to say what was on his mind “I’m all ears, whatever it is you need to tell me…I’d like to know.”

Spencer seemed a little jittery over it, he struggled to find a way to begin as he searched his mind for some way to ground himself and whatever it was made his anxiety a little worse. “I uh…it’s difficult, umm it’s sort of awkward to just bring up…” Spencer mumbled nervously and struggled to keep eye contact as he tried to speak and the longer it took the more visible he shook. 

“Why are you so nervous?” Aaron asked ad reached over the table, gently taking Spencer’s hand reassuringly and there was a spark to the touch that he might have only imagined but it felt very real and he realised just how smitten he was, but for now he was a little concerned “you’ve got nothing to fear from me” he said, hoping it might make Spencer feel safe enough to say whatever was bothering him.

“I know…it’s just…that hasn't been the case in the past” Spencer said and bit his lip, wondering if he’s said too much of if he was ruining things, but Aaron’s strong hand over his slim one soothed his nerves at least a little and the man was waiting patiently for him to take his time. Hotch meanwhile was glad Spencer knew he could trust him but was only more curious about what Spencer had to say and a little worried about why he looked so _scared_.

“It’s awkward because it’s really… _personal_ …but you should know so we’re not disappointed or incompatible, you know?” Spencer managed to say and Aaron nodded, his thumb caressing over the genius’ hand in a soothing manner “I don’t know how to say this b-”

Spencer was cut off when Aaron’s phone started to buzz on the table, both snapped their gazes too it and the name Jennifer flashed up on it and Aaron sighed, of course, cases always came at the worst times like it was some sort of curse. “I’m so sorry” Aaron said “that’ll be a case…”

“Go on, take it” Spencer said with a smile, it was a little stressed but not forced, he seemed to understand the pressures of the job enough to not take it personally at all, and Aaron reluctantly let himself say “I’ll be back in one minute, Spencer” and took the call. 

True to his word he kept the call brief as he only walked far enough away to talk to JJ privately, they had a case and he needed to head over straight away, with a heavy sigh he accepted his fate and told them he’s be over as soon as possible and hung up. He realised he was a little short on the call but at least he wasn’t rude and made sure to return to his date quickly, his expression undoubtedly apologetic. 

Big hazel eyes peered up to him, damn he looked so sweet, but he seemed to smile reassuringly that he was fine and understanding “gotta go catch a bad guy?” Spencer asked.

“Yes, I’m so sorr-” Aaron started to apologise and Spencer interrupted him “it’s fine, really” he said softly “I get it.”

And for some reason hearing the young agent say ‘I get it’ and hold his gaze, a confidence to it that left no room for doubt, did something to Aaron just then…like they were on the same team as far as work was concerned and shared a priority. Spencer was smiling, genuinely, at him having to go save lives and it was a kind of acceptance he wasn’t used to, he didn't want to make any habit of comparing new relationships to Hayley but it was a blatant difference, Spencer’s smile wasn’t grudged - it was very real. 

“Thank you, both for understanding and for agreeing to the date” he smiled “would you do me the honour of letting me make this up to you? I’d love for us to have another” Aaron said boldly but he meant it and wanted to let the genius know just how much he was appreciated. 

“There’s nothing to make up” Spencer insisted “but a second date sounds perfect…” he agreed.

Aaron couldn’t remove his smile, as much as he loathed to end the date early there was a crucial part of their characters exposed in it that was good to see “great…and when we do I promise we can continue the conversation, you’ll have my undivided attention” Aaron said letting the genius know listening to what he has to say and it was very important to him too.

“Thanks Aaron…now go save some lives” he chimed and Aaron gave an agreeing nod before placing a kiss to Spencer’s cheek in his goodbye, it had been intended like anyone might kiss someone’s cheek in parting but something about it resonated with both of them, the genius with the faintest tint of a blush and Hotch feared he might match it however uncharacteristically him blushing might be.

“Goodnight, Spencer” Aaron managed to say, he flashed a smile and it was returned before he made his way to leave, faintly in his periphery he saw the genius seem to raise his fingers to his cheek, tracing just where the kiss had been placed as though it may just tingle excitedly. 


	3. Shy Smiles and Trusting Aaron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer reveals something about himself.

“This had better be important” Hotch said as he entered the briefing room, the rest of the team already there, peering up from their files they saw him dressed all handsome and Rossi was the most in the know as he realised “oh right, your date…” sending an apologetic look to the chief. 

Derek and Emily smirked as they realised just what was interrupted, sorry for Hotch being called away but while Derek said “hope it was just the date part we were interrupting…” with a playful grin while Emily chimed “good to see you putting those tickets to good use?” 

“Indeed, thank you Emily” Aaron replied, letting her know it was the play they had went to. 

Penelope couldn’t decide whether she was feeling guilty or elated to hear of the serious boss man getting all romantic as she spoke “oh so sorry sir, but it’s a bad one…but I hope your date took it well?”

“He did, but let’s focus on the case, shall we?” Aaron said trying to get back to business though he did see a sudden pause in the agents collected around the table, it wasn’t that he didn’t know what he’d just said, he could have manoeuvred his language to not mention the pronoun ‘he’ but any thought to do so was ignored. He really didn’t care who knew, certainly not his team who were practically family and especially as enamoured as he was with Spencer he didn’t see any reason to hide it. 

“Did I hear that right?” Morgan checked, no judgement in his tone but just a little surprised. 

“Yes” Aaron confirmed neutrally though he tried to ignore the grinning Rossi across the table “and regardless we have a case to solve.”

“Right, boss” he agreed but Morgan did smile, realising Hotch still could surprise him and after that they focused on the case at hand. 

* * *

Under steam and warm water cascading over his lithe body, the good doctor stood daydreaming as he mindlessly showered himself, running his fingers through his wavy hair and feeling the rivulets over his skin. He was used to thinking in the shower but it was usually about philosophy, complex puzzles and math problems, but he was not used to having his thoughts dominated by a deep, warm voice and dark eyes and how despite all logic he was sure his cheek was still echoing the feelings of that kiss. 

He really was trying to wrap his head around just why Aaron was so interested in him, all his life he’d been told he was awkward and weird, the skinny, pasty freak who trembled like a leaf and a breeze might blow him over. The one thing he’d been able to accept praise for was his mind and work in academia but he had always been able to contextualise it as worthy due to its usefulness. Regardless he could tell Aaron was sincere, he’d actually gone out of his way to tell Spencer such, and the whole thing felt so surreal.

One day he was living his quiet, uneventful life where at best hardly anyone even noticed him and then he literally bumps into the handsome agent and the next thing he knows he’s hopelessly smitten and showered with compliments like never before in his whole life. Aaron hadn’t told him he talks too much, Aaron never interrupted his rambles to say he wasn’t interested in statistics or change the subject, Aaron didn’t call him a twig or made fun of him in any way. It was all so new and he had to tell himself to just enjoy it, a childhood of being bullied in school and facing other hardships had made him particularly wary and with an emotional guard, always afraid kindness might be a prank at his expense. 

That wasn’t to say he didn't believe in kindness, far from it, he just expected any his way to be basic human decency or politeness - it was compliments and interest not work related that usually lead to any trouble. But Aaron? As nervous as he was the man was proving himself to be decent and honest and for whatever reason he seemed genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with him. While baffling Spencer couldn’t deny he was excited, a hesitant happiness in his chest with every gaze or smile between them. 

But even with that being the case he didn’t know yet if they were meant to be, not because of Aaron, but Spencer hadn’t yet told him he was intersex. Hazel eyes looked down in the shower, water running through his hair to the floor as he gazed at his pale body only slightly flushed by the heat of the water. He wasn’t sexy, at least he didn’t think so, he felt wiry and awkward and he wondered if Aaron knew what his body shape was under his sweater vests and the like. But at their date he’d only worn a shirt and waistcoat which didn’t pretend or hide his skinniness and he hadn’t seemed to mind - he’d even used the word ‘gorgeous’ which was mind boggling. 

Even if Aaron could find his skinny form attractive somehow the man wouldn’t be anticipating Spencer’s gender, as eclectic and accepting as the world could be there was no reason to think he was anything but male - statistically speaking. Being intersex wasn’t as rare as people think, but that includes micro-penises or simply atypical phenotypes of single sex genitalia, whereas to be a what was considered a true hermaphrodite as he was…well let’s just say if Aaron could ever figure out what he was without Spencer outright saying would make him an impossibly skilled profiler.

He felt himself growing more and more nervous, he’d been shaky at the bar as he started to speak on it before getting interrupted, he understood of course that the date had to end and he was very happy to be asked on another one, but he was wrestling with whether he wanted to talk about it or not. He liked Aaron, a lot, and if something as out of his control as how he was born ruined any chances of being together it would be a real kick in the teeth, someone good and interested in him comes along and it might be over before it can even begin and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

But he needed to tell Aaron, just prior to his shower the man had rescheduled their date and were thinking of going to an art gallery which sounded like heaven to him, or at least it would be if he wasn’t one big scaredy cat. He had reason though, not everyone was kind, not everyone was decent, and while he trusted Aaron was all those things and more it was a hard thing to put yourself out there sometimes. He could only pray Aaron wasn’t disappointed by him, but if they weren’t compatible they had best learn sooner rather than later and for Aaron to be honest with him, but he still had to hope too. 

* * *

As beautiful as the art was, and as much as Spencer knew about every single one of the pieces they walked by, he just couldn’t concentrate, the only thing to vaguely snap him out of his thoughts was any brush against or touch with Aaron, but only for it to be followed by a pang of worry that the happiness was to be short lived. It didn’t take a profiler to see how nervous Spencer was, he was quiet and clearly the topic of their previous date needed to come out in the open before the young man would have a chance of relaxing.

Not to mention Aaron himself was very curious, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that had the genius so shaken but the quicker they faced it the better. Rather than leave the gallery all together Aaron placed his hand on Spencer’s back reassuringly though he’d been so distracted he jumped a little and before Spencer could apologise or feel embarrassed Hotch said “how about we go have lunch in the cafe here…? I’m getting the impression you want to pick up where we left off in the last date? get it all out?”

Hesitantly the doctor nodded and the pair made their way to share some light food and they found a private spot to have the sensitive conversation. After they settled Aaron waited patiently for Spencer to speak, and he tried, but time after time he would open his mouth as if to speak before changing his mind at the last moment. He looked afraid and the longer it went on the more he seemed to feel like an idiot, neither thing did Aaron want the wonderful young man to be experiencing so he spoke up.

“Spencer, what’s wrong?” he asked and big hazel eyes looked up into dark ones, trying his best to get his brain to just function already. “I promise I won’t judge you, but it’s clearly important…you seem scared” Aaron said hoping it might make things a little easier on him.

Spencer nodded silently, admitting that both the topic was important and that he was scared while also putting some trust in Aaron “I’m just going to have to say it…” he mumbled and struggled to keep eye contact as he continued “I don't know what your orientation is, or how you would feel about this but…” and just then he looked so young, a bit frightened but summoning courage “I’m not…strictly male.”

Aaron tried to contain the surprise, but he was sure at least some micro expressions got through as the unexpected revelation was made. His brain suddenly seems to work in slow motion as he tried to process what Spencer had just said, ‘not strictly male’ was ambiguous at best but he understood why the genius might be speaking in increments and suddenly a lot made sense. Aaron would have to decide if this was something he could be attracted to and happy with, the answer not something Spencer could possibly even have a guess at so no wonder he was so nervous! 

His mind did eventually start to conjure up some ideas of what Spencer might be meaning, he knew some people were just born a way that wasn’t biologically in the categories on male or female, but he really didn’t know much about it at all, or maybe Spencer was transgendered - he just had no idea. Spencer started to shrink his body language, making himself seem smaller and part of his heart sank watching it happen and he knew he had to answer soon so he made one thing very clear “okay…I don’t know much on the subject…but I can say that you don’t have to be afraid of me…I’m sorry for whatever reason you are” Aaron said softly and finally Spencer seemed to meet his gaze.

After a long moment Reid let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and stared in a mixture of disbelief and relief, Aaron hadn’t said if he was compatible to him yet but he had kept his word and not been judgemental and Spencer’s heart did a series of happy flips in his chest that he was at least in great company and that Aaron really was the man he seemed to be. Hotch was even doing everything he could to make him feel safe so he decided to share a little on just why his nerves were so active.

“I…l-last time I had a date, I explained what I am and…well, I ended up in the emergency room” and immediately Aaron looked horrified on his behalf.

“Wh…how? that’s terrible” Aaron replied, feeling a little speechless at the revelation and a bubbling anger in his soul that anyone might have hurt Spencer for any reason, never mind one so absurd and hateful. 

“It was a long while ago now, I'm totally fine, I just…it’s made me understandably nervous.”

“Of course…I’m so sorry that happened, Spencer…how does that even happen?” Hotch mused, he worked chasing serial killers and he saw hate crimes on aregular basis, but to it was still so wrong to him.

“It was a guy from one of my engineering classes” the genius explained “he seemed nice and he asked me out…we’d known each other for almost a year technically because of the coursework so I thought he might a least be safe to speak to…I was wrong” Spencer said as he recalled the attack “the moment I told him he went real quiet and he changed the subject, I figured he just didn’t know how to talk about it and there would just never be another date but as he was walking me to the train station he pushed me into an alley and…”

“Oh god” Aaron muttered under his breath as he listened, if he could see the guy now he’d be sure to put him in his place for so much as touching a hair of Spencer’s brilliant head.

“It wasn’t too bad…” Spencer tried to ease the concern “a couple punches and when he pushed me I hit my head on the concrete, I don’t remember much after that but I vaguely remember the ambulance and getting admitted. I was fine but I was concussed and had to get a few stitches…”

Aaron stared in shock, the young man very brave to have shared and trusted as he just had given his experiences and the harsh realities of what some people could do. “At least you got through it” Aaron said trying to see the silver lining “and thank you for trusting me enough to tell me” he said softly, reaching over the table to take the genius’ hand reassuringly and Spencer seemed a little surprised by that, like because Aaron hadn’t answered in regards to attraction that touch might be off limits but it wasn’t “that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“Not gonna lie, yeah…” Spencer admitted “but nothing ventured nothing gained, right?” he said trying to be positive and Aaron just found himself smitten all over again.

“Right” Aaron agreed and decided if he was going to answer he’d best get informed at least a little so asked “so you're not ‘strictly male’, do you mind telling me what that means exactly?” his voice as soft as possible and at least he seemed more relaxed now. 

Spencer finally was able to not be so tense, his feeling were still on the line as he really did want this to work out but at least he could feel comfortable he wasn't about to experience a repeat of the date from hell “well I’m intersex, it’s a broad term but for me…I’m what most understand to be ‘hermaphroditic’.”

“Both male and female?” Aaron asked, making sure he was thinking of the right term and not wanting to assume anything.

“Yes,” Spencer confirmed “I’m fully hermaphroditic but I identify as male, I have male geni-….I-I am male,” Spencer started to explain and became a little flustered, an adorable blush streaking over pale skin “I just also have female parts…” he explained feeling a little awkward “see how it’s personal and weird to bring up? but it’s…I feel like I'm withholding information because everyone assumes I'm not, statistically don't blame anybody for that…but we might not be compatible and you deserve to know now rather than later…I totally understand if I’m not right for you” Spencer said, his tone trying o mask any disappointment and Aaron couldn't stop himself from squeezing the hand that was still held in his own.

Aaron did his best to think over it, so Spencer had both male and female genitalia…he wasn’t immediately rejecting to the idea which was a good sign, but he had to be sure of his answer. Such a question had just never came up before and understandably so, but he liked both sexes, he would be perfectly attracted to Spencer if he were only male or only female, or trans and possess the genitals of another sex…but both? He kept wondering if there was something he should be considering, because all of his thinking became thoroughly intuitive, just trying to interpret how he felt on the matter. He certainly wasn’t judgemental or anything of the sort, so how did he feel?

“Well…I” Aaron started,his voice a little dryer that expected as he steadied his tone dark eyes moved to their joined hands in over the table, the elegant hand of the good doctor’s, his slim wrist and arms, this beautiful neckline and up to that pretty face and he knew he had his answer. “I…I don’t see a problem.”

“R-really?” Spencer replied naturally, he’d clearly been steeling himself for some form of rejection and none came “you don't have to be polite, it’s okay…I’d rather you were honest an-”

“Spencer…” Aaron made sure to say firmly and have his undivided attention as he spoke next, giving the hand in his a gentle squeeze “I’m telling you the truth, I only tell you the truth….I really like you” he said and saw the young man blush while those big doe eyes held surprise “and I’ll be honest - I've never really thought about it before…, being with an intersex person…but…I do think were compatible.” 

Spencer couldn’t believe it, the Aaron Hotchner, tall dark and handsome catcher of bad guys…still wanted him? Just then a flurry of emotions he couldn’t quite name came on strong, a mixture of excitement and flattery, given their discussions it seemed promising that they might pursue further dates, but he was also already invested and given the long overdue feeling of acceptance by someone he felt a heavy tug on his heart strings and needed a little reassurance. Hazel eyes looked to their joined hands and smiled but said a very quiet “you sure?”

Aaron smiled, understanding it might be hard to believe given the unjust history done to him on the topic, so he spoke “as far as I know…it certainly isn’t going to stop me from asking you for more dates, Spencer…” he said and a warm look was shared between them and decided to share a little of his own insecurity into the mix “to be honest I’m a little surprised you're interested in me, I was worried you might think I'm too old or serious” he chuckled implying it wasn't a stress, at least not anymore. 

Immediately Spencer answered in a ramble “oh no…you’re not old, you…you’re old _er_ than me….b-but…I like that, I-I mean, I like that you're mature and I guess I've always been more comfortable around people older than me, and you're so handsome I just….I….and yeah you’re serious but not all the time, it’s n-nice to see you smile so m-much with m-me an-” he started to stutter more feeling embarrassed.

“Spencer, breathe…” Aaron said, soft smile still over his features as he waited for the young genius to take the advice, and for all it had came out in a flurry of information Spencer had given him quite the ego boost and a lot of the tension and fear had finally faded between them. After calming down from the rather intense subject neither could stop smiling and both eventually decided to continue the date, a lighter feeling then and Spencer much more talkative and back to his normal self.

Walking around gallery, neither mentioned that they had remained hand in hand throughout though it brought both some joy, also their date and the change that relief had caused in both of them was astounding. Eventually the end of the date came and Aaron walked Spencer to the train station, as a profiler he wondered if this might be some trigger of anxiety for him given the way a previous trauma had played out but no nervousness came - Spencer clearly felt very safe with him despite past negative experiences.

He would have offered Spencer a lift to his place but knew that could probably be a step too far and the young man had already been very open and trusting with him. “Aaron, thank you for the date…” Spencer said “I had a wonderful time” with a smile, both knowing the train would arrive any moment there was a need to conclude the date. 

“As did I” Aaron replied warmly “and thank you for trusting me, it’s definitely a good thing we had those talks” he made sure to say “and if you’d like to, I’d be honoured if you would accompany me on another date?” both feeling excited butterflies at what was shaping up to be a more than promising start, infatuated with the other as they smiled and gazed sweetly to each other both thoroughly smitten.

“Of course” Spencer answered and the train started to pull into the station, both watching it roll in and a little sad to see the end of it but it only brought them closer to the next meet up “you’ve been a gentleman, Aaron” Spencer chimed “thank you” and the gratitude was deeper than just a simple thanks. 

Shyly neither was entirely sure how it happened, perhaps it was a reading of body language or just some natural pull to the other as they closed the space between them and eyes fluttered closed, the kiss was soft but fuelled with an ache for the other as it lasted longer than anticipated - both just melting into it. Butterflies fluttering in their chests and finding the contact and warmth of the other instantly addictive and they loathed to part, both a little dazed by the powerful connection between them over something so simple. 

As they parted and gazed to each other Aaron was fully taken by the sight of the young man, so pretty and beautiful flush over his cheeks, the shyness but enjoyment evident making him wish he could just keep him there for longer but they said their goodnights and Hotch watched the young agent board and the genius gave the littlest wave adorably and Aaron stayed until the train moved out of sight. He stood there just going over everything in the last while and the fact that he was clearly so taken so easily by the young man. 

He had it bad. He knew that, never before had he so swiftly connected with someone as he was with Spencer, and he was sure the whole team were going to have a field day seeing him at work unable to hide the happy feeling in his chest. He couldn’t make himself care about what teasings they might make he was just focused on where to take Spencer on their next date. 


	4. I'm Honoured Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first night together.

The pair continued their dating with dinners and theatre, galleries and more. Before they knew it a month had passed since Spencer had shared the rather private information to Aaron and with every passing day he seemed more and more comfortable around him and getting used to the compliments a bit better every time. They hadn't gone past a few kisses and hand holding though some kisses lingered and deepened more than others, it was sweet really, but Aaron was feeling particularly good after the last couple of dates, they’d started to call each other ‘boyfriends’ with confidence and while things were heating up he wasn't going to pressure Spencer given the trust building involved.

Eventually Hayley asked what ‘her’ name was that Aaron was dating in a friendly manner and he’d explained there was no ‘her’, instead a ‘he’ called Dr Spencer Reid. She held no judgements over the idea of her ex now seeing a man, she’d known during their relationship that Aaron was bisexual though it almost never came up. Hayley didn’t pry though she did ask for some idea about the progress of the relationship and the character of the new flame given the increasing likelihood of the boyfriend getting to meet Jack soon. Aaron just made sure to share that they were very much serious and that Spencer was kind, sweet, a bit shy, and very intelligent as well as the fact that he worked for the FBI too though more focused on academia.

In the time spent together Spencer and Aaron had shared more of their lives to the other, and the genius in particular had shared about his mom and his growing up, that part of his self confidence issues came from being bullied in school and about one particularly cruel prank where he was stripped and laughed at which lead onto all sorts of problems. Aaron could still feel an anger that it ever happened in the first place and never mind that nothing was done about it by the school; but if he was learning anything he was realising just how resilient and kind Spencer truly was. 

“Hey Hotch” Morgan said snapping Aaron out of his daydream, he’d been staring off into space for who knows how long with Morgan and Rossi in his office, the other agents had started discussing a topic between themselves and Aaron must have gotten distracted. Morgan chuckled with a smirk “you okay, boss man? You going over some steamy memories, got some extra spring in your step lately?” he said wiggling his eyebrow suggestively.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Morgan” Aaron said shaking his head.

Rossi chuckled and said to Derek “don’t you have to go compliment Penelope and give her her daily ‘baby girl’ comments?” 

“You know when you're right you're right” Morgan said, he knew Rossi was just trying to get rid of him to talk to Hotch but he played along and left them to it.

“Don’t mind, Morgan…but that said, I’d be lying if I said I wasn't curious..?” Rossi asked, clearly just wanting to know how the relationship was progressing and in his mind intimacy meant sex but that was Rossi.

“Horndogs, the lot of you” Aaron teased and both laughed a little. 

“Oh come on, it doesn't take a profiler to see you're happier lately…”

“Uh…the dating’s going well, very well,” Aaron explained “but it’s also a work in progress…”

Rossi quirked a brow and said “what does that mean?” urging him to elaborate.

Aaron thought how best to answer, he did appreciate having a friend to talk to about these things that wasn’t totally sleazy but he also wanted to preserve some of Spencer’s privacy too “he’s been through some things is all…I’m being respectful…” and Rossi seemed to understand enough judging by his expression. 

“Okay, how gentlemanly of you Aaron…” he said supportively before returning to his nosey ways in one simple and rather blunt word “…soon?”

Aaron stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the one track mind of the older profiler and answered “I don’t want to assume.”

“Get yourself some, how longs it been?” came the bold set of words from Rossi “respectfully of course, just…have you been with anyone since Hayley?”

“No” he admitted and it would have only been a micro expression but Hotch was little nervous and there were a few reasons to be. 

Rossi chuckled and teased “don’t worry, sex is still sex - it’s like learning to ride a bike” he said with a grin and Aaron let himself laugh though it was quiet, still a little in his own head.

Between how long it had been since being with someone other than his ex wife and hoped he hadn’t sleepwalked into some dull habits he didn't even know about, there was also the reality of Spencer’s sex and while any image he could conjure of what being intimate might look like between them and he was sure he was more than attracted to the man it was still something new in his experiences. On top of that, he hadn’t asked, but Spencer had spoken a great deal about choosing studies over much of a social life and given his nervousness about even telling someone his sex Aaron had to consider the possibility that the young agent was still a virgin. If he was that was fine, but it was an added pressure as things progressed between them. 

“Thanks” Aaron replied sarcastically for the ‘advice’.

Rossi was clearly enjoying himself at his friend’s expense though only lightly and frankly he understood, since when did Aaron look nervous about anything? Never mind it being about dating “when was the last time you even had to buy condoms?” Rossi mused laughing to himself.

“Are you my dad or something?” Hotch replied jokingly.

“I’ll stop poking fun, for now” Rossi said before saying sincerely “…we’d love to meet this guy, if he can get past your stony heart he’s gotta be something special.”

Aaron let out a small sigh, not a stressed one so much as one of contemplation and said “that he is…” 

* * *

After another date the pair got into Aaron’s car to take Spencer home as he had done the last few times as trust and comfort had been built. It was late with the stars out and lights of the city coming to life as they only could at night and before Aaron could even start the car he unexpectedly felt a hand on his arm so he turned to look at the genius. There was a shy glance between them with soft smiles and Aaron chanced going to give him a kiss which was easily met by the genius and the feeling lingering between them, something electric in the air between them.

Pulling back they flashed each other sweet smiles before starting on the journey to Reid’s addressas they chatted about their date and anything else that came to mind, but there was something different to this particular car journey compared to the previous ones. Spencer’s hand that had rested on Hotch’s arm had slipped to his knee, it didn’t move from there or do anything suggestive though it remained there where it was very welcomed to stay. It was an affectionate touch, and while Spencer had done so before it was never while Hotch was driving, it was usually when watching a movie or similar.

When they arrived Hotch undid his seatbelt and was about to get out to open the door for Spencer as the gentleman he was when the genius nervously said “A-Aaron?” his voice quiet and a shy blush over his face. 

“Yeah, everything okay?” Aaron replied turning to face his boyfriend. 

He hadn’t expected Spencer to kiss him so for the first moment he was still before melting into it, the genius’ hand still on his knee and while the first kiss was brief there was a second, this one deeper and more heated. Aaron’s hand found its way into wavy locks adding to the contact, Spencer’s body language noticeably open to him and not it's usual reserved way. irresistibly Aaron deepened the kiss eliciting a cute noise from Spencer muffled between them, Aaron’s tongue tracing over lips silently asking for entry which was quickly granted.

Spencer’s head felt light as Aaron’s tongue slipped into his mouth and the hand in his hair pulled him closer, his own fingers pressing a little stronger into Aaron’s knee but only in enjoyment, something so powerful about being in Aaron’s arms and he felt completely taken with him. They’d lost count of the kisses, making out like teenagers in the car and Spencer’s hands too made their way to broad shoulders then into dark hair clinging to the handsome agent. 

When they did eventually pull apart, both a little flushed and with kiss swollen lips,Spencer so damned pretty and Hotch rugged in their slightly breathless display. Quietly and voice a little rasper than expected Spencer’s blush darkened as he spoke “I think…I think what I’m trying to say not so eloquently…is do you want to come in?”

Aaron stared in some awe at the young man, he was so cute and yet hot beyond belief as he had shyly made the invitation “yes, definitely” Aaron said and both exchanged a knowing smile. One more kiss shared before making their way out of the car and to the building.

* * *

In Spencer’s apartment the instantly noticeable feature was the collection of books strewn, shelved and stacked just about everywhere, it was neat but full of the charming thirst for knowledge the genius possessed. His body language turned a little shy again but that was understandable as they removed their coats and looked to each other, echoes of their kisses only moments ago still tingling in their nerves.

“W-would you like a drink or umm…?” Aaron smiled and gave Spencer a kiss, he hadn’t intended to cut him off or for them to get carried away, but there was a kind of electricity keeping them together, a need to touch and be close and between kisses Spencer muttered a “or uh…no drinks” and both smiled into their exchange. 

Hotch was about to say they could sit and not go so fast or have that drink but the way Spencer clung to him so perfectly left no room for doubt in just what he was ready for, the tension in the lithe body something aching and not resistant as they pressed against each other and the whole room felt like it was getting hotter. A particularly deep kiss drew out a moan muffled into the kiss as Spencer’s arms wrapped around Hotch’s shoulders while strong arms were around his own slim waist. Tongues met and the young agent arched against Aaron’s body while Hotch’s hands massaged down the slim back helping him relax into the touch.

Slightly shaky fingertips weaved into Aaron’s short dark hair, he’s nervous but both are a little bit as they wanted this to be good for the other especially as compatible as they seemed to be as a couple. Naturally Hotch took the lead and dominated the kiss though he paid attention should the genius become stressed, he didn’t, as hands began to roam over the lithe form adding closeness to their kissing. Fuck he wanted Spencer so badly, those adorable noises, that pretty face and body, the connection between them begging to be explored in a new, physical, way. 

Spencer felt surrounded by Aaron, held firmly and safe in his strong arms, he was so warm and as much as he still held some confidence issues, he could feel how they fit together, contrasted but made for each other and it made his heart flutter. When Aaron’s fingertips traced under his shirt, only the littlest bit to touch his back and rub circles into the skin there he shivered and felt his arousal stir, both heated and hearts sped up, pupils dilated and although Spencer had issues with reading social cues he knew biology didn’t lie. They wanted each other, right here, right now.

He only barely contained the whine that wanted to escape when Aaron pulled away slightly, though luckily he didn’t go far, he started to pepper kisses over Spencer’s jaw then over his neck before finding a sensitive spot to suck gently earning a gasp from the genius, their bodies still pressed together and a hardness there between them begging for friction. Aaron needed to ask “uh Spencer…have you ever…been with anyone before?” he said in a gruff voice between kisses and teasing of the man’s throat. 

The young agent shook his head, blush scarlet in a little embarrassment as he admitted “n-no, I’ve never done this before…” and he worried for a moment Aaron might think of him as too young and inexperienced but no rejection came, instead the arms around him only held him tighter and the kisses trailed over to his ear where Aaron started to nibble his earlobe, hot breath puffing gently over his neck making him throb. “But I want this…I trust you” Spencer said just above a whisper and he swore he heard Aaron almost growl at the idea and it only made everything more exciting and special between them. 

For Aaron, maybe it was something primal that the confirmation of Spencer’s virginity did something to him, it wasn’t any idea of ‘purity’ whatsoever, instead it was the trust and the privilege given to him to get to be the man’s first. And given Spencer’s history and nervousness around being accepted for his sex there was some pressure on tonight going well but with how eager both were tonight there needn’t be any showmanship or pretences, just to be there with each other. 

Again he joined Spencer in a fierce kiss, the cutest almost squeak from the genius at its suddenness making Aaron smile into it before pulling back as they looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Spencer looked nothing short of gorgeous, kiss swollen lips and blushing pretty face, those pleasure hazy eyes focused only on him, he must have shown some micro expression the genius was rather good at picking up as Spencer said “you seem a little nervous, I thought it’d be just me” with a small smile.

“Uh well…it’s been a long time,” Aaron admitted before claiming those lips again “and being your first, I want you to love it” he added making the young agent shudder “and I want this.”

“M-me too” Spencer stuttered as Aaron kissed over his neck again until sucking over his collar bone, the new feelings washing over his body making him sensitive and needy in ways he’d never experienced before. “S-so long as it’s you I’m sure…I’ll love it” he got out breathlessly as they pressed flush against each other, Aaron’s hands travelling over his back and there was a roll of the hips to make both jolt with pleasure. Spencer felt Aaron’s hardness against him, the man easily above average and the thought made him shudder while a little nervous, especially as they continued to press against each other he was sure the man was getting harder and tenting impressively, while he felt himself grow erect he bit his lip and felt himself tensing as between his legs throbbed too. 

Soon enough both agreed they were wearing too many clothes as Spencer’s hands fumbled a little at Hotch’s tie but between both their efforts swiftly the man was shirtless, Spencer’s hands unable to resist feeling over the broad muscles there and adore the strength of the man. Aaron meanwhile got to work on Spencer’s shirt, the garment quickly falling from his shoulders to the floor and the older man quick to taste the newly exposed skin, the slim torso under his hands being affectionately explored under firm hands. Aaron took Reid in a deep kiss as fingertips playfully flicked over the younger’s nipple making him whimper into it in the most beautiful way, his virgin body becoming quickly overstimulated and needy. 

One hand trailed down Spencer’s spine before cupping the cute little ass and kneading the flesh there guiding him closer too in the action against each other’s hips feeling the heat of their clothed arousals together. Given the size of Hotch’s, Spencer wondered for only a moment if he might be disappointed by what Spencer had but just as the thought niggled in his brain it was chased away by Aaron starting to palm his groin through his pants. Feeling the young genius’ member under his hand Aaron could feel the smaller nature of it and was pretty sure the man was fully erect but it was hard to tell, but so what if he wasn’t well endowed, especially given just how Aaron intended to take him tonight. 

The idea of being buried inside of the genius flashed in his mind and Hotch felt himself painfully throb, straining in his pants as he instinctually started to grind a little harder against the lithe man making both gasp. Playing with the smaller erection Aaron grew curious and trailed a little lower, and to his delight he felt the soft heat he could tell was the man's feminine sex, pressing lightly between his legs he watched Spencer shudder and writhe as the ache became overwhelming and Aaron could swear he felt the fabric become wetter.

“Aaron…” Spencer whimpered “y-you sure?” he asked nervously yet thoroughly taken with the sensations over his body but he couldn’t shake the doubt instilled in him over the years. But Aaron wants this, wants Spencer, and he wished the good doctor knew just how wanted he was - but he supposed he’d just have to show him.

“I’m sure” Hotch said gruffly, smiling into a hot kiss, “wild horses couldn't stop me now” he said with a warmth and the faintest giggle escaped the genius making his heart swell at the sound.

Spencer nodded and said just above a whisper against Aaron’s lips “bedroom” before the pair kissed and started to make their way through the apartment in a flurry of hands and loosening clothes as they went. Backing the genius against the bed Hotch gently guided him to lie back onto the mattress, he looked so gorgeous under him, that wavy hair splayed out and blushing but not in any way embarrassed only feeling hot for him with love bites appearing quickly down his pale throat and slight tent in his pants. 

Reid looked thoroughly debauched and Aaron couldn’t resist drinking in the sight and it must have been noticed by hazel eyes when the younger man said “you going to stare at me or touch me?” however shy Spencer could be he was also pretty cheeky and it went straight to Aaron’s heart whenever he felt comfortable enough to be himself like that.

“How about both?” Aaron replied with a smirk and claimed those pretty lips in a strong kiss before trailing his mouth and hands over the slim body, marks would surely be left on his skin after a while but neither could think to care especially once Aaron flicked his tongue over Spencer’s nipple eliciting a gasp. Taking the sensitive nub he played with it in his mouth, gentle grazing with his teeth before soothing it with his tongue making Spencer moan and arch his back, fingers weaving into Aaron’s hair. 

The genius had never felt like this before, he felt hot and aching but in the best way, everything oversensitive and the slightest of touches magnified in his nerves, all he could focus on was the wonderful man above him and the throb in his groin. He couldn’t help the wiggle of his hips to try and ease the throb between his legs and as he gazed to the older agent lavishing him with attention, god he was so handsome, he whimpered at the sensations as well as the increasingly hard and wet state of his more intimate areas. 

Aaron’s large hands caressed over his sides and flat stomach before coming to the genius’ pants, the belt had been removed already and those talented fingers started to touch him through the confines of his clothes, rubbing over the genius’ erection making him shiver and buck into the feeling. Slowly Aaron took the edge of his pants in his grip, silently asking for permission and it took Reid a moment to get through the lusty haze to realise what was happening and a little nervousness set in. 

Taking a calming breath Spencer looked into Aaron’s dark eyes and saw a desire in them and in his heart felt wanted, the anxiety wouldn't totally leave him but he trusted Aaron regardless and gave a nod. Sliding Spencer’s pants and underwear downward Aaron drank in the sight of that pretty pink cock being freed to lie against the flat stomach of the young agent, smaller than average but it suited him like everything about him was adorable. Next were the legs for days and milky white skin and on first glance the genius was just a guy, male sex visible and eager to be touched but his legs were slightly together shyly hiding an intimate detail.

Hotch trailed a hand over the newly exposed skin, kneading the flesh there and feeling the man tremble under the contact before tracing his fingers down the genius’ member making it twitch and Spencer bite his lip. Smiling Aaron continued to tease the cock gently, tracing it from base to tip and watching the young agent write on the bed and grip the sheets before moving his other hand to press lightly between Spencer’s thighs asking to see him fully. 

Spencer’s blush darkened as he let his thighs part and for Aaron to spread his legs as he wished exposing him completely and he resisted the bashful urge to close them again, choosing to let Aaron see him was was only more revealing an act between them. His heart felt tight as he knew now was the moment, if Aaron was going to leave this was the most humiliating and last point to do so simultaneously but he hoped and put faith in the man that this wouldn’t deter him. That Aaron wouldn't think of him as a freak like he’d been told he was all his life and actually continue to flatter him with the opposite. 

Looking down between parted thighs Aaron saw below the male genitalia was the feminine in the form of a subtle entrance behind folds only Spencer was fully aroused and lips slightly swollen, glisteningly wet with need. A jolt of pleasure shot straight to Aaron’s cock straining against his pants and his mouth ran dry, the beautiful man beneath him so open and trusting of him and he could barely believe his luck at the young agent wholly his to explore and please. 

He could see Spencer’s nervousness, the slightly jittery hands and not knowing where to look and a tension in his form so he let himself smile at the view and catch hazel eyes in a heated stare “this is what you are so afraid to show me?” he said in a velvety tone before tracing his thumb lightly over the folds making the genius’ toes curl instinctually and the brilliant mind fill with only what Aaron was doing to his body. 

“N-not any more…” Spencer answered, the sweetest smile over his lips at being accepted by the older man and undeniably desired making his heart flutter excitedly. 

Aaron leaned forward to capture those smiling lips in a kiss, his tongue pressing inside to make the genius moan and his head dizzy while on hand came up to Spencer’s hair deepening the kiss while the other continued to tease gently between his legs just enough to make the anticipation an experience in itself before moving up to take the cock in his hand. The sharp whine the genius let out was nothing short of cute when Aaron started to play with him more strongly, he didn’t even need to move his fist much to stroke him and massaged the member in his hand. 

Trailing kisses down to Spencer’s neck again and washing over him with affection and his weight lowering to press slightly over him and Spencer’s legs still open beneath the older man only made the entire thing sexier. One of Spencer’s slim arms wrapped over broad shoulders and fingertips pressing into muscled shoulder blades as waves of pleasure hit. Aaron becoming increasingly aware of just how new these sensations seemed to be wondered just to what extent the genius had explored his own body and certainly no one before had even touched him like this.

Taking care with him, Spencer was touched lightly at first and with a gradual teasing to imply what would come next and not overwhelm him, though any still surprised squeak or unravelling of the young man was exquisite to witness. He wanted to show the young agent just how wanted he truly was and make his first time one to remember for more reasons than one so as Aaron kissed lower and lower he could feel hazel eyes on him, watching him in arousal and fascination as he took the tip of Spencer’s cock into his mouth. 

Hands were fisted in sheets at the sudden warmth on his member and it was swallowed with ease down Aaron’s throat. The writhing was nothing short of pornographic and the moan making Hotch need to lightly palm himself through his pants if only for a moment the throb of arousal was so strong it hurt. Any fears and insecurities the older man had held flew out the window able to play Spencer’s body like a fiddle and being so responsive was definitely an ego boost. There was something so easy about Spencer’s body in how to play with it, so gorgeously sensitive and growing needier by the second. 

Spencer wasn’t going to last long, he's a virgin after all, but he’s also young and Aaron grew curious about the potential of the unique body, having a feminine sex the idea of multiple orgasms came to mind and he wondered just what he might see of the young man tonight. Sucking him softly at first before working him a little harder one of Spencer’s hands moved from the sheets to his hair, he didn’t press for more but he was asking for something he couldn’t name and Aaron bobbed only slightly and used his tongue to tease along the shaft and the genius made the cutest noises!

He almost doesn't seem real, like some fantasy come to life, so adorable and sexy with utter trust in those big eyes. Aaron’s fingers traced the folds again teasing the swollen entrance and feeling the heat from it knowing soon enough he would be buried inside. “H-ah, Aaron…ah” came the panting moans from the genius and he knew his orgasm was close, he tensed and shuddered and was likely reacting to the light tracing of fingers too. 

Rubbing a little stronger along his entrance he massaged intimate lips and gently teased a single finger inside to wet heat alongside a particularly strong suck and flick of the tongue and the younger was undone. “F-fuck, _Aaron_ …” the whine of hearing his name said like that was something Aaron was sure would stay in his mind forever as he swallowed around the smaller member taking all he had to give while adoring every tremble and pant. 

Aaron let the small cock slip from his lips but impressively it was still half hard and he was far from done yet, especially as through his orgasm Spencer’s fingers hadn’t left Aaron’s hair where they mindlessly caressed him affectionately. Kissing the milky thighs while he continued to move the finger gently inside, massaging his inner walls and getting him used to the sensation. He was so wet, the entrance glistening just for his lover and Aaron’s dark eyes went between checking the breathless genius’ pretty face to where he was placing his attention for the time being. 

He worked in a second and curled them just right making Spencer buck and moan wantonly, a gasp escaping at the sudden rush of pleasure and his vision blurring when Aaron brushed a sensitive bundle of nerves. Panting hard Spencer thought it couldn’t feel any better when the incredible man above him did it again and again, playing with him and seeing what made him tick and just what reactions he could elicit and Spencer his willing experiment. 

Spencer couldn’t believe his luck, the handsome Aaron Hotchner worshiping his body like something entirely wanted and precious, for Aaron to want him, all of him and so thoroughly made his head spin. Aaron meanwhile couldn't have anticipated how into this he would be, he’d always liked men and women, but to have Spencer’s body beneath him, arousal displayed in both the erection begging to be touched and the wet heat aching to be filled - something about the thoroughly stimulated body that he couldn't wait to indulge in.

It happened suddenly when the genius tensed again, a breathy moan and a noticeable wetness soaking Aaron’s hand, fingers buried in the velvety heat and Aaron himself blushed a little at realising he had made the young man orgasm again and only with teasing which he continued to give. Spencer was out of it, two orgasms already and on cloud nine, safe in Aaron’s arms and treated so fucking well it was almost indecent as he let all the new feelings wash over him as Aaron saw fit to give him. 

Hotch slowed his fingers and let the genius catch his breath a little and he resumed his kisses over thighs and affectionately touching his inner thighs now wet from his release. Carefully watching for any signs of resistance Aaron trailed his lips closer and closer and while the genius realised what was about to happen going red faced and in a little disbelief he didn’t back away. Spencer was nervous, it was obvious in his jittery hands and no longer as relaxed body language so Aaron reached for the one hand twisted in his sheets and held it sweetly silently telling him how much he desired this and wanted him to enjoy it rather than overthink it. Kissing his entrance first, fingers still lazily inside, he then tongued the opening slightly feeling the heat and wetness there. Spencer couldn’t believe his lover was doing just what he was and he’d never felt himself so aroused before, he didn’t know it could feel like this.

Aaron couldn’t get enough as he tasted the soaked pussy and as he saw Spencer was back to full hardness and shivering with pleasure, the fingers in his hair tugging encouragingly, he unabashedly buried himself between those thighs, moving Spencer’s legs over his shoulders as he licked and nibbled, teased and prodded with his tongue. He'd always liked giving oral but he’d never been so enthusiastic, so driven like this as he chased any little whimper he could and tonguing deeper and deeper into the virgin passage. 

His face was pressed flush against his lover’s entrance and so obscenely eager, the taste and feel addictive, thighs now by his head tensing and when he heard Spencer whimper, “ff- _fuck…_ ” with a harsh buck against Aaron’s talented mouth he knew Spencer wasn’t far from another orgasm, his curiosity about multiple orgasms going to be well satiated. Licking his femininity, tongue inside in harmony with his fingers pressing the folds and holding him open to achieve a deep taste. Spencer was a stunning mess. He was panting and gasping, arching, wriggling, writhing, _aching_ and didn’t know which way was up, all he knew was where Aaron was, his touch like fire and that he needed more. 

“A-Aaron, _Aaron…fuck…_ ” Spencer gasped close again and this seemed to be the only time Aaron heard the young man swear which was only more erotic.

The hands in Aaron’s hair tugged, not with any thought but a reflex to the stimulation of both tongue and fingers playing with him as he neared his climax. “Oh god….” Spencer barely whispered as he dropped his head back against the mattress and bucked against his boyfriend hitting that spot inside of him and exploring him intimately with vigour. Aaron watched the vision of a lover unravelling under him, gasping and panting, and only delved deeper with both his mouth and fingers being sure to press that spot inside the genius when he felt those thighs over his shoulders tense, the passage clench around his fingers and a flood over his tongue. 

An intense orgasm hit the lithe man as a high pitch moan escaped his throat and he had half a mind to be embarrassed given how obscenely _sopping_ wet he was but equally he had never been more turned on in his life and in no safer company than Hotch to be blinded by such mind melting ecstasy. Aaron had never seen anything so hot as he continued to lick and touch him through the orgasm, committing the erotic sight and feel to memory as he strained and throbbed through his pants. Spencer was _soaked_ down there and Hotch felt a swell of pride in being able to give Spencer such pleasure and as he pulled away there was a gentle smile at his handiwork.

He noticed only the feminine part had climaxed, Reid’s cock still at attention and Aaron suppressed the moan at the thoughts running through his mind at just how much play and exploration there could be with this young man, but first things first. Spencer looked so fucked out, hazy and yet heated and he had to kiss him but first Aaron stopped to wipe his face with back of hand, the clear release having been so strong he had felt it on his skin and jaw. Crawling over Spencer’s body, chest rising and falling rapidly and young man staring up at him with lust hazed eyes Aaron kissed him passionately earning a weak moan. 

Spencer was vaguely aware he was tasting himself in Aaron’s kiss, it wasn’t much of anything but it was there and it spoke loudly to how close the act had been. The genius continued to feel like this must be some sort of dream - he’d never been wet like this, never ached like this, every touch like fire to his skin, his chest felt warm and heart cared for all at once. He’d never thought of himself as being such a sexual being before but he supposed he’d just never relaxed or connected like this and now his own body seemed to have a mind of its own. 

Still trying to catch his breath and focus on anything through his lust blurred vision he felt the high of his climaxes continue to echo in his flesh. It was Spencer’s hand in Aaron’s hair which pulled him closer, craving all the contact he could get, while the other still lazily joined with Aaron’s moved them both to the older man’s bulge. Hotch’s neglected member needed touch so badly it hurt and when the young agent gave him friction he gruffly moaned into their kissing and squeezed his hand a little before it was let go and the genius palmed him through his clothing. 

It wasn’t enough for either however, barriers had been crossed between them and nervousness about rejection felt long gone, and Spencer moved his hand to Aaron’s pants tugging them slightly asking for them to be removed. Not one to disappoint Hotch smiled into a kiss before pulling back and standing from the bed for a moment to remove the last of his clothes. He could feel hazel eyes studying him as he did so and though he felt a heat in his face at being watched so thoroughly he felt confident with his parter and that they truly desired everything about the other. 

Eventually Aaron stood fully nude in front of his partner whom had sat up slightly to view him and those big doe eyes looked him up and down, an awe unhidden in his pretty features and flatteringly looked more than appreciative. In Spencer’s mind he wondered how a person such as he whom possessed a significant and varied vocabulary couldn’t summon many words to try and process the sight of his lover fully naked for the first time. There was something of a warrior about Hotch, strong and forceful yet he could choose to be gentle and in his chest beat a good heart, he was the epitome of masculinity with a rugged handsomeness to how he was built. 

Spencer did gulp however when hazel eyes took in just how big Hotch was, he was a little nervous about losing his virginity but Aaron never laughed at him or treated him as anything less than cherished, and he was also rather excited by the idea. He knew it might hurt, his first time, his encyclopaedic knowledge letting him know it was a myth that the hymen was there for reasons of virginity but instead just a healthy barrier in the feminine sexed but it was also a myth that if it broke during sex it was due to being forceful, it wasn't the case and was fairly random - some people just had differently shaped hymens than others and some bled during their first time and some didn’t. Either way he took a steadying breath and moved forward on the bed to sit on the edge facing Aaron, if there was one thing he knew it was that he wanted Aaron and tonight he wanted Aaron to be his first.

Aaron bent down to kiss his partner and when he felt Spencer’s hand moving up his muscled thigh, trailing up before lightly caressing his thick member making the older man almost growl at the jolt of pleasure. The touches were curious and experimental at first and Aaron let Spencer get comfortable handling another man’s cock and before long the hand on him was surer and stroking him smoothly. Spencer hadn’t touched anyone else like this and Aaron’s body was entirely different to his own, where Aaron was broad and manly Spencer was slim and delicate, but they kind of fit together in their own way. Even their members felt different, Spencer didn’t touch himself really, not since puberty but it was mostly some frustrating showers as an early teen and even then he’d always been more focused on his studies than anything else, so to feel Aaron’s cock in his hand so much heavier and bigger than his own took a bit of getting used to just how to hold and caress him.

Aaron kissed Spencer and buried his hands in wavy hair as he felt the increasingly confident hand stroking him before moving to the genius’ ear and say gruffly “lie on the bed, head on the pillows” his tone so sultry it made Spencer shiver. The younger man did pause realising what would follow and with a shy smile and persistent blush he gave a small nod looking so sweet Aaron had to kiss him again though briefer this time. As Spencer moved up the bed Aaron parted just enough to reach to the floor into his pants pocket for a condom placing it on the nightstand and joining his lover on the bed.

Spencer seemed relieved to have him within reach, vulnerability was one thing but to be left even for a moment craving nothing but his partner and a tendency to become shy, it shouldn’t have been a surprise but it was exciting to have the genius’ hands immediately reach to him and lean up for a kiss. He didn’t care for Spencer because he was young and pretty, but there was something so thoroughly dream like to have the eager young agent so entirely seeking him and only him. 

Still sensitive from his orgasms the genius clung strongly to the older man, every touch like electricity thrumming through nerves and making him shiver and welcome Hotch’s weight on top of him. There was a slightly tender moment quietly shared between them when Spencer let his legs part and for Aaron to be in given such intimate access knowing what was implied by it. After all Aaron had already done to him Spencer wondered how he could still blush, but at least he couldn't find it in himself to care anymore both well aware of what they wanted and the other felt the same way. 

Their mutual desire had them feeling over the other’s muscles and curves, caressing and teasing as they went and Hotch couldn’t help but muse “god, you look so beautiful, Spencer” his tone to aroused there was no room for doubt and Spencer just kissed him, too happy to reply with anything else. Aaron’s erection brushed against Spencer’s making them both moan into the kiss before parting and gazing into the other’s eyes for a long moment, reading the other and a moment for Hotch to ask softly “are you sure…you want me to be your first?” he was being cautious but it was important to be and his lover’s big doe eyes didn’t leave him and his body language didn’t shrink at all, instead he gave a small nod and both smiled into another kiss. 

Reaching over to the nightstand Aaron picked up the condom and leaned back to put it on, it had been forever since using one but he didn’t mind and there was a happy flutter in his chest at the start of their sexual relationship on top of emotional parts. Aaron bit his lips slightly as the touch made his member throb but beyond that the sight of Spencer, so trusting and hot under him, beautifully laying there watching him with utter want and just so damned pretty only added to the anticipation. 

One hand trailed over Spencer’s chest and stomach before massaging his hip and thigh though the young man seemed as relaxed as he would get already, and as he leaned forward to affectionately kiss, lick and nip the pale throat as he lined himself to the man’s entrance. Even through the protective latex the sheer heat made Aaron moan at the thought of what was about to come. Rubbing the head against swollen lips, toying with the genius and wetting the condom clad member further, Spencer felt himself ache to be filled and his legs part a little more in eagerness. 

Spencer clung around Aaron’s shoulders, adoring the weight on top of him and rather than feeling small or weak he felt thoroughly safe and cared for, as his hips wiggled instinctively against the hard cock rubbing against him. “This might hurt the first time” Hotch said as he kissed the pretty man’s jaw and waited to see an understanding nod before claiming him in a kiss “if you need me to stop at any time just say” he added and started to press inside. Spencer tensed slightly as he was breeched, the thick cock stretching him open for the first time and penetrating his virgin entrance, he was so big the sensation was almost overwhelming but he only felt safer knowing he was experiencing such vulnerability under Aaron.

Hotch eased himself inside, slow but firm to not hurt him more than necessary and he gently rocked his hips inching deeper inside the tight passage, he couldn’t contain the low moan as his cock was surrounded in the hot, virgin passage flexing around him. The pressure alone was enough to make a lesser man climax right there and then but they had plenty more fun to have after the delicate first while for the young man. Fingertips pressed into Aaron’s shoulder blades when Spencer felt a particular barrier tear in him, the sensation sharp and it stung making him gasp before biting his lip, just letting it happen and to hopefully pass soon. 

Aaron was careful not to stare and only focused on being gentle and holding him in the intimate moment though the cute pinched expression told him what was happening, he felt a little guilty but knew he was more than ready to make up any hurt to him. Eventually Aaron was fully sheathed, both letting out a breathless moan, Aaron for the tight grip on his cock and Spencer for being so full. Both were panting and Spencer in particular was in his own little world feeling the waves of sensation crash into his body, from the pleasure and lust, to the emotional and giddy to the pain and ache inside of him. 

Letting Spencer adjust Aaron peppered kisses over his cheek and neck, down to his chest and teased Spencer’s nipple to take his mind off the pain, it earned him a gasp and slight wiggle which only added to what they both were feeling. After a little while of getting his bearings again hazel eyes opened to see Hotch, the handsome man above him showering him with affection and he felt his heart flutter, a giddiness to be giving his virginity to such a good man, and he gave an experimental wriggle of the hips. It hurt a little but not too bad, it was mostly just uncomfortable and the sting continued while his head felt a little light but Aaron only held him tighter. 

Those big eyes had Aaron feeling just how precious a connection they had and through all the desire and heat he delivered a sweet kiss to Spencer’s cheek in an innocent moment and said “I’m honoured sweetheart” with a smile and it inspired one in the genius too. 

Breathlessly Spencer kissed Aaron before replying “y-you can move” just above a whisper “p-please” he urged and Aaron obliged. 

Hotch rocked his hips only a little at first and heard a small whimper from the young man, his expression still a little pained but it was already fading somewhat with each shallow roll inside of him. Spencer’s legs were lazily around Hotch’s waist and the older man decided to move them, gently he pushed them and held against pale thighs to angle Spencer’s hips up and ease penetration as much as possible. Able to grind a little deeper like this both shuddered at the new depth and after a few thrusts Spencer started to move with him slightly.

With the pain mostly dissipated and only a dull ache in the background Reid found himself mesmerised by the sight and feel of the older man, the gentility and yet firm touch was just perfect, he was also aware of how wet and aroused he was and slowly the pleasure well started to outweigh the tension. Spencer looked angelic laying there, his ivory skin, untouched before him and thoroughly debauched yet entirely sweet and Aaron couldn’t get enough. His hands wandered over every inch of skin he could find, playing with him and adding to the sensitivity when he lightly traced his fingers over the pretty pink cock too making Spencer gasp “f-fu-…. _Aaron_ …”

Aaron couldn’t contain the chuckle at that noise, it waist straight to his crotch and luckily the tone was understood as finding the exclamation nothing but sexy so the young man wasn’t embarrassed. “You alright there Spencer?” he asked warmly, sounding a little breathless himself and certainly raspier than expected and while it was slightly cheeky he was also asking out of care.

Immediately Spencer nodded and kissed him, their tongues playing with each other as the rocking hips of the genius moved a little more desperately and Aaron smirked into their kiss having his answer. He started to stroke Spencer’s cock a little, mostly massaging it in his grasp as he continued to thrust and started to pick up the pace a little earning the most erotic moans and _whimpers_ fill the bedroom accompanied by the wet slap of their thrusts.

With Spencer’s thighs pushed high as they were Aaron could see the man’s toes curl when the genius also gasped and threw his head back, that spot inside of him being struck dead on making his vision blur with stars and instinctually clench around Aaron’s cock. “Oh god, Spencer…” Aaron said gravelly and naturally drove his hips a little harder too only making Spencer moan louder in a tousled, blushing mess. 

Aaron stopped stroking his lover and focused on thrusting, keeping Spencer’s hips just right and caressing him through it as the pace quickened and the thrusts grew more confident. That spot was struck time and time again and Spencer was just along for the ride although he did buck and writhe begging for as much contact as possible and Hotch was eager to give him whatever he wanted. A high pitched whine made Aaron slam inside and hit that sensitive bundle of nerves _hard_ and there was no other word for Spencer’s response but exquisite as he shivered and tensed, arching his back and his expression one of pure pleasure. 

“Aah… _f-fuck_ …ah…. _Aaron…_ ” Spencer panted as his nails dug into Aaron’s back a little, any sting was completely unnoticed as they both focused on the sensations and a pressure building making the young agent close again. Hotch wasn’t stroking him anymore but he was leaking precum against the flat stomach while their thighs could feel the wetness spreading in their fucking. Hitting that spot every damn time Reid didn’t know which way was up and only knew to cling to Aaron, the wonderful man that knew his body better than he did. 

He could feel a heat pooling in his groin and both knew Spencer was close, his member being briefly rubbed against between their bodies adding to the feelings and while Aaron took one of his nipples into his hot mouth, teasing him with his tongue, those strong arms holding him and keeping his legs spread unashamedly it was then he was pushed over the edge by a series of _perfect_ thrusts and his member feeling friction. In a strangled gasp Spencer climaxed, his pretty little cock cumming over his flat stomach simultaneously his inner walls became so tight Aaron gasped and thrust a little erratically. A clear release from Spencer’s feminine sex _soaked_ over their thighs and to the bed and Aaron could only commit the whole thing to memory and continue to thrust into the tight heat.

Part of him wished there wasn’t a condom, the man so wet it must feel amazing but it was early days and they had to talk more about their relationship before that could possibly happen. But as waves of pleasure hit Spencer, his orgasm lasting much longer than expected they just clung to each other and got lost in kisses and rolling hips. Spencer felt like he couldn't see past the exploding stars in his vision, he was covered in sweat both hot and cool at the same time and his body tensing on its own accord while also a spent, jittery mess limp under his lover. 

The clenching around Hotch’s member made him buck harder and with Spencer completely satisfied and fucked out beneath him he started to chase his own release by bringing Spencer’s legs over his shoulders and strong hands grabbing the younger’s hips as he thrust deep. The world seemed to fade away, it was just them, just the sounds of the bed, of flesh, panting, wet arousal and moaning mixed with the scents of sex and sweat. Aaron’s hands continued to caress and massage as he rammed inside, breathing hard and glistening with sweat he couldn’t get enough of the young, hot body and felt his climax building while unbelievably Spencer _again_ seemed to tense. 

Again? He knew some could experience multiple orgasms but there was something about the now no longer virgin young man being so responsive and overloaded with pleasure. It was certainly flattering to the ego and only made Aaron all the more curious and eager to play with him time and time again, and given how compatible they were, emotionally connected as well as physically he felt sure he’d get the chance to explore more things at some point.

Leaning forward, Spencer’s leg position meaning he was folded but it was done with ease, they met in a fierce kiss as strong hips erratically thrust inside, maybe it was how into it they both were that got them going so passionately, whatever it was they were addicted and focused on nothing but them. Aaron moaned as he felt himself throb and get so close, this easily the sexiest experience of his entire life, and when Spencer climaxed again it brought him over the edge as well. The tight grip on his cock too much and Aaron shuddered and bucked hard several times as he came, filling the condom while Spencer clenched and whimpered tiredly, his back arching off the bed before laying bonelessly wrecked on the bed. 

Reid’s body having gone through so much in the last hour it was a wonder he was still able to open his eyes but he did and god they were beautiful. Pleasure dazed hazel eyes almost glittered as they looked up to the older man with a dream smile and flustered pink cheeks. After a couple more lazy thrusts Aaron was spent and both just watched each other for a while catching their breaths and feeling their sex induced high hit in waves. Harsh panting filled the room while everything else quieted and the only interruption to their breathing being lazy kisses as they chased closeness. 

Aaron let Spencer’s legs fall from his shoulders and he let some of his weight fall on top of him while careful not to crush the lithe man and they just relished the feel of the other’s heart racing and well used muscles rippling as they rested. It took a long time and many kisses later before either could think straight but when they did they were practically beaming at each other, Aaron carding his fingers through sweat damp tresses while Spencer’s fingers rubbed circles into Hotch’s back mindlessly.

Knowing it wouldn't be comfortable for too much longer Aaron made himself get up just enough to carefully withdraw, Spencer biting his lip a little at the strange sensation, holding the condom before removing it and placing it in the trash, noticing some blood but not a lot and it was to be expected. Moving just enough Aaron lay next to Spencer and hazel eyes couldn’t help but shift and watch the muscled agent’s chest rise and fall as he got his breath back in a rugged display. A strong arm didn’t waste any time in reaching to bring Spencer close to him, the younger agent cuddling against his side and resting his head on Aaron’s chest hearing his heart hammering away inside. 

“You alright?” Aaron managed to say, kissing that mess of hair he adored so much and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling if he tried when the genius looked up with those big eyes and a sweet smile. 

“Better than alright” Reid giggled in a beautiful noise, both a bit post coitally giddy and still not quite back to even breathing. “Is it meant to feel that good?” he asked sincerely, Spencer having heard in movies and the like what lengths people would go to for sex but this had far exceeded his expectations and the question made Aaron chuckle in a way that was warm and fun between them.

“Uh…honestly?” Aaron said trying to find the words through his sex happy brain “sex is great, but that uh…that was amazing…” he mused and he felt a little bashful himself at saying such an immodest thing but it was true and it was to both their credit. Spencer looked at his lover curiously, trying to read what he could about the answer and Aaron looked happy, more than satisfied and despite his naivety he could only conclude that Aaron was telling him what they had was not just good. He’d heard the term ‘mind-blowing’ around sex and given he couldn’t do simple math right now if he tried he could only say it fit. "I also think we answered the whole 'compatibility' thing..." Aaron added and both chuckled, yes, very much answered that one with a loud and clear 'absolutely'.

But as wonderful as the sex had been Spencer was also loving another new experience, post-coital cuddling, Aaron’s arm around him felt so damn _good_ , like it was where they were meant to be and echoes of pleasure still alive in their flesh made them sensitive and relaxed at the same time. Also post sex shirtless Aaron was the sexist sight beyond actually during sex, the very picture of masculinity and getting to share in a calmer, sweeter intimacy laying in the afterglow. 

They spent a long while just laying together until finally their breathing evened out, Aaron rubbing circled over Spencer’s shoulder and the genius had been mindlessly snuggling in closer and trailing his fingers over Hotch’s chest for a while so he wondered when it slowed to a stop if Spencer might have fallen asleep on him. However a moment later he heard the genius say a tired but happy “Aaron…thank you.”

Surprised by that Hotch gave him a little squeeze to show affection and kissed what could only be called sex hair when he replied “what for? I think I should definitely be thanking you” his voice making obvious he was smirking through it and the younger giggled before looking up again and they shared a soft but lingering kiss, their nerves still active making the contact tingly on their lips. 

Parting Spencer kept their gaze and answered “I meant…for taking such good care of me” and those words went straight to Aaron’s heart, a swell of pride there for showing the young man just how wanted he was “I feel so good around you” Spencer confessed with a blush but didn’t shy away from his feelings. 

Aaron brought his other hand up to caress the genius’ cheek tenderly before gently moving along the jaw to guide Spencer into a sweet kiss, fuelling their feelings into it, a real spark in their connection to each other. The kiss coming to an end Aaron said in all seriousness “you know I care for you, right? I know we’ve only been dating just over a month…but…you already mean so much to me” Hotch admitted, his turn to look a little bashful but he just continued to hold his lover and enjoy the moment. 

Nodding Spencer replied “I care about you too…” before nuzzling against Aaron’s neck and enjoying all the warm touches as Aaron held him like he was the most precious thing in his world just then. “I wanna stay like this…” Spencer said, slightly muffled against Aaron’s skin “but I definitely need a shower” he added and both giggled at that, both their minds flashing with just how much had occurred during their physical activities and Hotch realised the young man would likely be uncomfortable if he was left covered in release. 

“Just lay with me a little while longer” Aaron said, hand soothing down Spencer’s back in encouragement to stay as he was “I won’t let you fall asleep like this and you can get cleaned up, but for now…” Aaron couldn’t think how to end that sentence, instead he leaned down slightly and kissed Spencer’s temple and cuddled against him too. He would keep his word but he wasn't quite ready to have the genius out of his arms and he too let the happy feelings in his chest do their thing while they enjoyed the warmth and company of each other.


	5. Good Intentions and Jason Gideon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon had something to say to Hotch.

Sunlight peeked through the curtains as early morning crept in and slowly Aaron woke to a ceiling that wasn’t his own, it took his a moment of groggily starting to focus to realise where he was and as his dark eyes looked towards the weight on his side he was gifted the sight of his lover snuggled against him. A warm feeling in his chest made itself known as he saw that mess of brown hair, slender form like a dream in his arms and he couldn’t resist placing an affectionate kiss to his head. 

Aaron had kept his word the previous night and the pair had gotten cleaned up and he had put his boxers on to sleep in while Spencer in a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms, he looked really cute and to fit for his height it was a little baggy around his torso but it meant the wide collar showed a lot and Aaron could easily touch his bare shoulder. Spencer started to stir and he wriggled a little bit, stretching tired muscles and slowly coming to take in the world around him. 

“Morning” Aaron said with a smile, hand coming up to rub the bare shoulder comfortingly and hazel eyes looked up at him, still blinking the sleepiness away as he mumbled “morning…” sounding rather adorable and he couldn’t help but give the genius a soft kiss. 

It used to be the Hotch couldn't wait to get into work, he would be up, showered and dressed without thought or delay but today he wanted to just lie in bed and cuddle. “You feeling alright, last night might have been a bit much on you” Aaron said, sure not to sound teasing and just asking out of care as he kissed the younger’s head sweetly. 

Spencer still sounded sleepy when he replied “hmm…a bit achey but definitely worth it” making both giggle at the unabashed enjoyment of the previous night’s activities. 

“Well that’s good to hear” Aaron practically hummed and he pulled Spencer more snugly against him getting their cuddling just right and he glimpsed at the clock. “I’ve never wanted a day off work more than today…” he sighed and both just smiled at the indulgent morning. 

Spencer too glanced at the clock and they had some time to spare but not a whole lot and he chimed “we’ll just have to make sure we see each other again soon then” and he could feel that Aaron was smiling even without seeing him, the affectionate squeeze in how he was held by the older man confirming it and a warmth filled his chest. “Last night meant a lot to me, Aaron…n-not to pressure or an-”

“Me too” Aaron said clearly and the sincerity in his voice told the young agent just how wanted he was, as if there was any room for doubt anymore, “it really did…” 

In that lazily paranoid way both men looked to the clock again, as if the last few seconds might magically make them late and Spencer mumbled almost like a childish whine “five more minutes” and that time Aaron chuckled, the lovely sound vibrating in his muscled chest and Spencer only cuddled in more. “Let’s forget the FBI” Spencer teased then, playing into it and wanting to hear that happy noise again in the often serious man “professional sleepers, that sounds nice” and in an unintentional emphasis a little yawn followed and he was rewarded when Hotch laughed at just how sweet and silly he was being. 

Spencer mindlessly started to trace circles over Aaron’s chest, feeling the firm muscle there and small flashes of last night entering his mind, he did have one hell of a memory but something about the endorphins or the heated nature of it had him feeling almost like it was some amazing dream. Spencer couldn’t contain the grin when Aaron settled with him more and agreed “okay, five minutes.”

They took nine minutes though neither mentioned it before reluctantly making themselves get out of bed, an ache as they pulled themselves away from the other’s embrace and went about getting ready for the day. Aaron used Spencer’s shower for a quick clean and soon enough was back in the bedroom, Spencer switching to go wash himself while Aaron towelled off and changed into clothes.

Standing in front of Spencer’s bedroom mirror Aaron looked to himself and looked remarkably put together given the feelings still running through his body from last night, echoes of touches and of being so intimate with Spencer as though he could still feel the man’s soft skin under his fingertips, those slim thighs around his waist and wet heat taking all he had to give. Snapping himself out of that line of thinking he did not need such a distraction and especially if it meant getting aroused and only making it more difficult to leave and go to work.

He didn’t look dishevelled or mussed up but he felt it, still felt the memories of last night alive in his nerves and mind - his heart happier than it had been in a long time. And it wasn't just about sex, sure the sex was amazing and there was the relief of finally seeing and being very, very compatible to Spencer’s body, but it was the connection and advancement of them as a couple that got him particularly contented. 

Spencer meanwhile stood in the shower, feeling the dull ache of last night in his body but it only made him feel lighter, happier than before. Aaron’s weight on top of him, that handsome face indulging in him, connecting with him physically and emotionally was just a dream come true. Aaron hadn’t just been neutral to his body - he’d fully been attracted and indulgent in him. Hotch had been more intimate with his body than Spencer had ever been himself, he didn't even know his body could feel like that! Didn't know he could feel such need and strong arousal, never mind the climaxing. Beyond some discomforts during puberty he hadn’t exactly played with his own body, never thought to, so it was quite the journey of discovery and that was only his first time.

He could easily get lost in his thoughts in the shower and made himself focus on just getting washed and leave to get dressed, when he emerged from the ensuite Aaron was already dressed and was seated on the edge of the bed tying his shoes. The man looked over his shoulder to see the genius in just a towel on his hips in a beautiful display, his pale skin flushed pink by the heat of the shower and droplets clinging to him while his hair stuck damply to the sides of his face and neck, all while in great contrast his chest and throat were peppered with hickeys. 

“You’re going to make it impossible to leave, you know that?” Aaron said with a smirk, eyeing the genius whom immediately blushed under the appreciative stare. Aaron stood and walked over, careful to not get wet as he kissed the younger man, muffling any reply in it before parting enough to compliment “so damned cute” he mused and saw the blush darken, when he kissed Spencer’s cheek next Hotch felt the warmth against his lips. 

Spencer having grown in a great deal of confidence eventually found the words to say with a shy smile “maybe I’m making it impossible to leave on purpose?”

Aaron chuckled and said “and there you’re doing it again” implying the agent was being adorable to keep him from leaving.

“I’m not doing anything” Spencer said sweetly.

“You’re just a natural then,” Aaron said with a grin and while Spencer continued to blush at least he didn't shrink or try to wave it off, “now turn off the cuteness so I can focus on getting ready for work” he teased and rather than reply the genius gave a nod and went about getting dried and changed into his clothes. Aaron tried his best not to stare as the lithe body went about the task but it was really hard and used all the self control he had left, how did he not know he was so pretty? Anyone else would have to tease him like this on purpose!

Eventually both were dressed getting painfully close to parting ways, “you sure you don’t want me to give you a lift to work?” Hotch asked though he already knew the answer.

“I’m sure, there’s no point in you going all the way to the academy just to head back to quantico” Reid reasoned with a kind smile and all too quickly they were heading out the door, Spencer locking up and they made their way to Aaron’s car where the older agent brought the genius into another kiss, this one soft and longing but communicated an ache for the other. Hotch had never felt this instant intensity with anyone, it was just so natural, and for Spencer everything felt completely new and as scary as that could be he had no reason to fear anything with Aaron as was becoming abundantly clear with every passing moment. 

“I need to go,” Aaron mused, the closest thing to a whine in his voice Spencer had ever heard though most wouldn’t have detected it, easy to say it was very flattering, “otherwise, no, I need to go” he added, sorely tempted to just call in sick but he was the boss and needed to keep a grip, the endearing display of affection making Spencer giggle.

“Go, don't be late” Reid hummed but stepped real close to his lover and said as though he’d forgotten something “oh, and Aaron?”

“Yeah, Spen-?” Hotch was cut off by a strong kiss, Spencer's arms around his shoulders and after a pause of surprise the older man melted into it and took back some of the control, leading the kiss and wrapping his arms around the slim waist both getting lost in the dizzyingly good feeling. Dazedly they slowly pulled apart and Spencer chirped “have a good day” and while his tone was cheery there was a slightly cheeky glint to that making Aaron feel like marching them right back into that apartment. But at least Spencer’s real personality was shining brightly now and being encouraged, coming out more and more every day with a bit of bravery.

“You…” Aaron tried to reply but his voice came out much raspier than expected all of a sudden, that kiss having affected him more than he realised and both laughed a little as he cleared his throat “you have a good day too, I’ll call and sort a next date…” Hotch said was an unmovable warm smile, all this joy was going to ruin his tough guy reputation! But it was worth it when he saw Spencer smile and nod before finally they made themselves part with a little wave and Aaron having to make himself drive off.

* * *

Aaron was on time. Literally, to the second, _on time_. That never, ever, _ever_ , happened. The team couldn't help but gossip and speculate as they arrived all before Hotch, especially when Rossi explained the boss man had been on a date the previous night and it only got them more animated. Everyone was beyond curious about this mysterious boyfriend of his, Rossi only shared so much of what he knew but a smirk could say a lot around profilers. 

When Hotch finally appeared Morgan, JJ and Prentiss were sat in the bullpen though it was Derek who spoke up with a grin “morning Hotch, you have a lie in or _something_?” and wiggled his brow suggestively. Despite the joking nature he had expected the chief to be able to summon words but a moment of genuine hesitance told them all they had to do “ooh you totally did get laid last night” Morgan teased and ignored the ladies next to him telling him to simmer down though they were all smiling. 

Deciding he couldn’t deny it Hotch settled for an equally as telling “that is none of your business…” though his tone was not cold as he had intended. 

Smiles turned into smirks as the answer was loud and clear, Emily chiming in this time with “so if I were to ask for a raise today would you be in such a good mood that I might get it?” earning a chuckle from the agents around her.

“Nice try” Aaron said, trying to control himself from smiling like he felt inside and said “…I’ll be in my office” only making the profilers all the more convinced they were right.

* * *

Spencer sat at work going over various files and papers, he could still feel the aches from last nights activities in his body and for the first time in his life felt hyperaware of how he felt. Sorenesses before were an annoyance and to be distracted from, but the faintest little twinge reminded him of just what of himself he gave happily to his lover and the new experiences in his life, the burn of used muscles like they’d never moved before an additional echo of the passionate exchange. He’d worn a high collar and a scarf today, between his clothes and long hair he hid any marks over his pale skin though he couldn’t help but fuss a little hoping no students and peers saw them though just knowing they were there brought a giddiness to his soul. 

It wasn’t that he was any less productive but he did feel his mind begin to coexist with the memories of last night and thoughts of the man he was with, he was even going over some reports that Aaron himself had contributed to and his handwriting from his analysis spoke of a sure mind and intelligent wit and he found himself smiling. He couldn’t get totally lost however, especially with Gideon across the room at his own desk going through papers and Spencer was sure the older man was watching him at times. He never saw it, but he could fell it, like some clever bird keeping an eyes on him and observing with a pointed stare but only for small, careful increments at a time. 

He knew it was only a matter of time until Gideon knew, in fact he might already know, who Spencer was dating since after their first accidental meeting at the coffee shop Spencer had mentioned meeting the man and how nice he seemed. Add onto that the few times the good doctor had declined to stay late and play chess it didn’t take half a brain never mind a profiler to tell he was dating but the real question was whether or not Gideon, whether he knew now or soon, if he would let him know what he’d figured out. The mentor had a tendency to stay in his mysterious ways until necessary so the genius didn’t bring it up and just went about his tasks.

Gideon watched from his seat as Spencer read Aaron’s handwriting, he’d deliberately given the protege the writing of the few suspects he had of whom might be the young genius’ partner. There was something to the schedule of the young man’s dates that told the older profiler of certain occupations this boyfriends or girlfriend could be, then the suddenness to which they could change too. He was 90% sure it was Hotch, he’d be 100% sure if he had any indication that Hotch was anything but straight, he’d known the man for years but only as a married man to Hayley and then as a divorcee where he had seen him less since Gideon left the BAU.

But as he watched those hazel eyes usually zoom by, as it had with the other reports, they slowed and savoured the presence of a familiar element such as the BAU chief’s handwriting and way of wording things. Spencer had looked relaxed all day and when presented with Hotch’s reports that only became more noticeable and Gideon had his answer. On one hand, was it really his business? But Reid hadn’t attempted to hide the dating and the scarf while it physically covered up what Jason suspected was on his neck it still told him there was something to hide in the first place. 

Frankly Gideon felt rather strongly towards the young protege, platonically of course and more fatherly, and while he knew Hotchner was a good man he couldn’t pretend to himself he wasn’t surprised. In all the years he’d known Hotch not once had he mentioned being interested in men, which wasn’t too odd though they had known each other for a long time by now and he had to hope that Aaron’s relationship with Spencer wasn’t some ‘dirty little secret’ that he wouldn’t be willing to stand by in public. Then there was the fact that Spencer was young, he was a genius and mature for his age but Aaron would absolutely be a dominant figure and while Aaron was morally good that didn’t make him unable to make mistakes, as stoney as he could seem he was still human. 

Gideon had been tempted to ask Spencer outright about the relationship but knowing the slightly shy genius he might not discuss topics so analytically and the young agent was allowd to just be happy and not overthink things. Voicing his own doubts and curiosities wouldn’t be fair on Reid and if there was nothing to worry about it should stay that way but in an almost paternal fashion he felt the need to make sure all intentions were good and healthy. 

* * *

Near the end of the day, luckily no cases came up and Hotch would be able to spend the evening with his son, he was feeling particularly relaxed so it was a rather surprising shift in the schedule when Jason Gideon entered the bullpen. Hotch watched from his office as the old co-worker entered looking rather serious, though he could often look that way when something was on his mind, and he said the briefest of hellos to rather bewildered agents on his way before beelining straight to the chief’s door. 

“You busy?” the old friend said, his tone unreadable and while Hotch too felt a little surprised he shook his head and the door was closed for privacy. He could have understood the odd and sudden behaviour if the next words out of Gideon’s mouth were to do with an urgent case he’d come across but he was totally unprepared for the older man to say “so, you and Reid?” his voice direct and not giving much away.

Totally blindsided by the man’s odd behaviour Aaron wondered if he might have upset or angered him, that maybe Jason had an idea in his mind about their dynamic and in the muddy of thoughts trying to understand what was going on all Hotch got out was “yes, Jaso-” before being cut off.

Gideon held up his hand for silence in a bold move that had Aaron raising a brow, somehow feeling like a teen boyfriend meeting the protective dad all of a sudden and Jason looked so serious when the next out of the blue question came “are you truly over Hayley?”

“What? Y-yes…wh-” Aaron got out in some shock, Gideon never asked such personal things like that unless it was to get a confession from an unsub or similar, to get grilled like this was not something his brain had fully caught up with as Gideon watched him, reading his expression and seeing honesty. Aaron’s baffled answer to the blunt question was out of the randomness and not defensiveness. 

“Good” Gideon said, almost edging on a threat in his tone before he asked another just as invasive curiosity “you needing the ego boost? Reid’s young, he’s pretty, is that why you like him?”

“ _No_ , Jason” Hotch answered more firmly this time, while the whole thing was still so odd he at least found his footing in that he was being tested by the older man “what is this all abou-”

“Just answer me” Gideon said, jaw clenched and fierce eye contact something Aaron was tempted to challenge but given the topic he had it in himself to answer, and if Reid was clearly rather important to Jason that the usually loner minded guy was being so protective it was worth keeping on his good side. 

“My relationship with Spencer isn’t about _needing_ anything to feel better about myself” he answered honestly “I _want_ his company, I _want_ our relationship and it’s one that’s good and right for both of us, Spencer and I _work_ ,” Hotch continued, not backing down in the staring contest between himself and Gideon. “He’s incredible, special…the fact that he’s young only makes him more impressive, the fact that he’s pretty is a bonus…does it flatter the ego - sure” he admitted, it would be disingenuous to say that such a thing wasn’t noticed and there would be a level of denial otherwise “but ‘young and pretty’ is not _why_ I'm with him.”

Gideon watched him, eyes narrowing as he searched Hotch’s sure expression for traces of any lies before eventually replying “okay…” his tone still tense but Jason did believe what he heard. “You hurt him and you _will_ regret it” Gideon added, completely serious. To Hotch the whole thing was bizarre and unexpected, since when did Gideon do anything like this? Then almost like the whole thing had been some weird prank Jason’s tone turned on a dime with “otherwise - have fun you crazy kids” and he was off. 

Like a human tornado of threats and what-the-fuckery Jason was away back into his natural habitat of god-knows-where leaving a thoroughly bewildered Hotchner to watch him go and the rest of the team left in his wake too. Stunned for a long moment Aaron tried to process what just happened with a sigh as he sunk into his chair slightly, any alpha energy on pause no longer having to stare down with the older profiler. 

Inevitably people grew too curious and it was Emily and Rossi who braved to enter his office “what the hell was that about?” Emily asked openly and Rossi’s expression matching hers in a mixture of wonder and shock.

Aaron rubbed his temple as he tried to work through his thoughts on the drive-by of confusion and intensity, eventually settling on the only way he could think to explain it “the guy I’m dating works with Gideon…I think…I think just got an equivalent to the ‘what are your intentions towards my daughter’ speech from Gideon” and the absolute absurdity got both agents laughing.

* * *

At his home, Aaron sat on the sofa helping his son with worksheets his preschool were asking them to do to improve his early learning and the boy was growing a little restless, he was only little after all the the sheets were boring “you do those worksheets and we can go play, okay Jack?” Aaron reminded him and the boy nodded, his little legs swinging slightly off the edge of the sofa and he still seemed distracted. 

“Can I ask something, Daddy?” Jack asked and looked up to his father with curiosity.

“Sure, buddy” Aaron encouraged, with a four year old the question could be anything from awkward to random and it just seemed to be a day of surprising questions when the boy spoke “how come if you liked mommy…why do you like boys? mommy isn't a boy…”

Aaron paused realising what Jack was asking, he hadn’t told him about Spencer yet and only that he was seeing someone so he tested the waters to find out what he already knew “what makes you ask that, Jack?”

“Mommy was talking to Bryan” Jack started to explain, Bryan being Hayley’s new boyfriend “and mommy didn’t know I was there but she said you were on a date with a ‘him’, so…like a boy?”

Aaron sighed a little with a smile and a nod “that’s true, I’ve been dating a very nice young man called Spencer” he answered and the boy’s expression looked thoughtful and Hotch still hadn’t answered his question fully. Jack knew there were opposite sex couples and same sex couples, a couple of kids in his year had same sex parents and it had been explained to him easily, but he supposed they'd never explained bisexuality to him before so he might be confused.

“Sometimes people like the same gender as them, sometimes they like the opposite gender as them and some can like both” Hotch explained as simply as he could, he was temped to bring up that gender was also a complicated thing and while jack knew a little, one of his classmate’s older siblings being transgendered which was a start, but he hadn’t asked that question so he didn't answer it, at least not yet and overcomplicate the small lesson. 

Watching his son’s reaction Aaron found himself a little nervous as Jack mulled over the new information in his brain, the conversation very revealing as the boy wasn’t just realising that his father could be attracted to men and women but that he was dating a man - as far as Jack could remember his parent’s had been separated and Hotch had been single, the idea of him dating someone, anyone, was a new concept. 

“Is he why you've been smiling more, daddy?” came the adorable question and Aaron found himself smiling fold as he considered the rather nice observation the child had made. 

“Yes, I think so” Hotch answered warmly.

Jack after that smiled back and excitedly asked “can he come to my game?” referring to the preschool sports day, it was only little kids but Jack would be playing soccer with kids his own age, it was adorable to watch though not much of a sport yet “can he, daddy? please?” Jack pleaded and was clearly excited to meet his father’s boyfriend and after a little consideration Hotch decided he could give in a little, his relationship with Spencer serious to the point it was probably the next logical step for them to meet each other.

“Okay, I’ll ask him” Aaron answered. 


	6. Sex Ed and Accidents Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has questions and there is a small 'mishap' in the bedroom.

Spencer and Aaron walked hand in hand to the older’s home at the end of another date, chatting happily about the movie they saw and and there was something so natural and open about their connection now. All through dinner the touches and gazes seemed simultaneously stronger and yet so much easier than ever before. When they settled onto Aaron’s sofa the pair enjoyed a delicious meal brought home from a fine restaurant and a little wine, both getting real cozy and the atmosphere so warm.

Spencer started asking about Aaron’s favourite horror movies, they’d both expressed a love for them especially the campier the better and it was nice to see the light, silly side of Aaron that could laugh at bad acting or ridiculous plots, then he got a little distracted as he felt something under the cushion making his seat a little uncomfortable. Curiously he placed his glass on the coffee table and checked when rather sweetly he found a toy figure of Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles making both chuckle at the unexpected find. 

“I’m presuming this is Jack’s?” Spencer asked with a smile “unless you’re super into the pizza loving ‘heroes in a half shell’?” he added.

Aaron played along with a completely serious tone and hilariously deadpan “turtle power” making the young agent giggle at the silliness before answering “yes, it’s Jack’s”. 

“I noticed the Red Power Ranger on the bookcase too,” Spencer chimed “then Optimus Prime and Iron Man over in the corner…Jack clearly looks up to strong leaders. Gee, I wonder why?” Spencer said with a smile and Aaron smiled like the prideful father he was and politely took the toy ninja turtle.

“Well as flattering as that is he was supposed to put all his toys away before I took him home” Aaron said fondly and clearly not bothered as he got up to at least put the toy with the others in the corner. The reminder of his son also brought up the memory of the boy wanting to meet the genius, “uh, hey are you doing anything this Saturday?” Hotch asked as he returned to the sofa.

“Nope” Spencer replied before lifting his glass of wine for another sip.

“Jack asked if you’d like to come to his sports day” Aaron said directly and in both a clumsy and adorable display Spencer hesitated “r-really?” and fumbled a little, accidentally getting some wine on his shirt in the process, the red liquid only a little visible on the burgundy shirt the young agent was wearing but still a spillage and he continued to fidget. 

Aaron calmly reached for one of the napkins and started to pat dry where the drink had splashed the shirt and the exchange was rather sweet as Spencer calmed down a little and let his lover take care of him. The topic had clearly made the genius nervous so Aaron answered while going about his task, smiling as he did so but not in any mocking way as usual “yeah…you don’t have to. It would just be me, you and Jack, Hayley’s visiting her father that weekend so I have him and I’d really like for you both to meet but it doesn't have to be this Saturday if you’d like to wait or do it differently?”

Reid was clearly rather shy on the topic and he found it tricky to look Aaron in the eye, for a tiny moment Aaron wondered if maybe Spencer was having second thoughts or maybe embracing Jack in his life would take much lighter steps but that was quickly chased away when the genius voiced his actual concern. “Do…” Spencer started softly and continued the vulnerable question “do you think he’ll like me?” he asked and the genuine worry in hazel eyes over the opinion of a four year old was thoroughly endearing. “I think it’s my social cue reading or…I don't know, kids and dogs don't warm up to me, Gideon calls it the ‘Reid effect’ and I j-just…I want to m-make a good impression on your son, I-” Spencer rambled and Hotch decided to speak up to try and calm his nerves, finishing his task of dabbing away the spilt wine he placed the napkin on the table but didn’t leave his close position. 

“Jack would love to meet you, he’s even connected you coming into my life with me smiling more” he admitted a little bashful though it was well hidden.

That piece of information seemed to help the young agent relax a little, also the idea of him making Aaron happy made his heart skip a beat, “o-okay…” he said with a small nod “I wanna meet him,” he finally said sincerely bringing joy to Aaron’s soul before adding “I’m just….n-nervous.” 

Aaron placed his hand on Spencer’s upper arm reassuringly and leaned forward in a tender kiss, something about their contact that helped chase any doubts away, and Spencer seemed to smile into it after a while. “You’ll do great” Aaron soothed after they parted “it’s early though, and no heaters from the seats so wrap up” he warned and they had a plan.

They continued their date and chatted plenty more, soon enough their meal was finished and Aaron cleared things away before rejoining his boyfriend side by side on the sofa, kissing his cheek and putting and arm around his shoulders affectionately. After a while of movies and theatre talk, even a little about work, Aaron decided to finally ask something that he had been curious about and now that they had started their sexual relationship he felt it was necessary to bring up.

"Hey, umm…do you mind if I ask…I mean…” Aaron said, for a rare moment a little lost in how to bring up something “about the intersex topic?”

Spencer was relaxed into their evening, and actually while nervous feeling very happy about Aaron wanting him to meet Jack, so he said a simple “okay…like what?” his tone light.

Aaron smiled telling him it wasn’t necessarily about the negative experiences he had been told of, a more neutral discussion to be had as he spoke “well…now that you know I'm more than okay about it” he started to explain with a smile “I just…I don't know what it…” and he unfortunately remained unsure of how to word such a thing as he tried to be sensitive “I don't know how to ask these things” he admitted after a pause and his mind blanking.

“What do you mean?” the genius pressed, “like about it personally, socially…or like, biologically?” 

“The last one actually,” Aaron said with a bit of relief “it’s not like it got covered in sex ed.” 

Spencer thought over the older man’s words and tried to understand what he was getting at “like am I like a female? safe sex…menstrual cycles, that sort of thing?” he guessed, knowing that might be a blank spot of information.

“Yes…” Aaron seemed thankful the genius had understood, it was a conversation he would have with any lover but with cisgendered men and women a lot of the questions were a little easier to know roughly what to ask “I just don't know much about this.”

“It’s okay…” Spencer said, flashing a small smile telling Aaron the genius wasn’t awkward about talking facts with him especially given the connection they had was inclusive of accepting his body. “Uh well…some people like me, where I have a full set of male and female reproductive systems we can have a menstrual cycle, I just happen to not have a visible one” Spencer said explaining there would be no periods “occasionally if I’m really stressed, like I had a while of deadlines and insomnia for a few weeks and my mom was pretty unwell, that gave me a light one, and again that’s pretty common” Spencer explained. 

The conversation was totally practical in nature but they both appreciated getting things in the know between them, between Spencer having to care for his mother growing up and being conscious of his own health he didn't blink at speaking about the subject. Aaron nodded along and it made sense so far, he'd never understood men getting awkward talking about such things, especially ever since becoming a father, if Jack hadn't been born a boy there was no way any toxic masculinity or other ridiculousness was going to keep him from being an open person to talk to. Hearing Spencer talk about his cycle he recalled Hayley had the opposite reaction, when she was stressed her periods were lighter or off schedule but he also recalled hearing a conversation between Hayley and her sister, Jessica saying she had light to almost no flow and yet was considered totally healthy. 

Spencer watched Aaron, luckily all the technical talk didn’t faze him, the older man patient and appreciative of the open nature of the conversation so he continued “everyone’s different” he shrugged “so as far as fertility, its…it’s very rare that an intersex male like me can get pregnant without help” Spencer explained carefully. 

“What does that mean? Are you saying it’s possible?” Aaron questioned curiously but neutrally, just wanting to understand him. 

“…Possibly?” Spencer said again with a small shrug “I was told it was incredibly unlikely, near impossible for me to conceive naturally but they just can’t guarantee whether it _is_ impossible, probably don’t want to get sued if I did” Spencer added lightly “I was told that I’m in a good likelihood that if I did ever want to I might only need some hormone treatment to ovulate. As far as they know for me conceiving without medical assistance is the same as conceiving while on the pill.” 

Aaron took that in, Spencer’s informative nature very helpful, and the idea of their relationship continuing, the very idea that it was 'possibly possible' for them to have children together was nothing short of incredible. Though that was likely a long ways off if ever, he didn't know if Spencer wanted to bare a child at all or look at other options, maybe just be a good step-parent to Jack and leave it there. Aaron couldn’t deny that he had imagined Jack with siblings, the boy would make such a good big brother but they might come from Hayley in a new relationship or he could be more than happy with just Jack.

“Is birth control something you're thinking about?” he asked openly, not wanting to tell Spencer what to do with his body but wanting to feel open talking about their options. 

“I’m allergic to a lot of them,” the younger informed “it’s something I could look into...”

“It’s no pressure” Hotch said softly with a smile "and don't go making yourself feel ill, I just…I think it’s important to talk about these things. It’s your body” he affirmed “I’m just asking so I’m more in the know.” 

Spencer smiled warmly “I agree, it’s important…I’m glad you're asking me” the genius said, probably glad to be taking away a lot of the mystery surrounding the subject. 

“You’re just endlessly fascinating” Aaron said, lightening the mood and looking over his gorgeous lover next to him.

“Oh?” was all Spencer could think to reply as he felt the older’s eyes on him, not necessarily heated yet but more than flattering.

With a smile Aaron placed a kiss to Spencer’s cheek again and said “Your mind, you're so sweet but you handle such serious things…” he complimented first and foremost “and then your body…” he added a little more sultry all of a sudden.

“I’m not some fetish” Spencer said, to anyone else it might be defensive but he knew he wasn’t some strange curiosity to Hotch and his lover picked up on the soft tone and knew he was in friendly territory. Spencer might be shy and be working on self esteem issues but the genius was well aware that while some people could be hateful others could look to certain sexes like the some porn category and not human at all, just an object to get all sleazy over. Aaron hadn't sought him out to match some fetish, they'd literally bumped into each other and gotten to know each other, accepting and compatible and very much a mental, spiritual and respectful connection as much as any physical. 

“I know” he hummed and kissed Spencer’s neck, his voice low and velvety as he teased “but our night together…” with a hand on the younger’s thigh and moving to kiss and nibble the delicate earlobe hidden by wavy hair. Spencer shivered at the hot shift in tone, Aaron’s hand massaging into his thigh and hearing him voice such sultry things was exciting “how your body was under mine…” Aaron teased and damn if he didn't have a gorgeous voice.

“You know if you ever needed extra cash you could be a sex phone operator?” Spencer joked with a quiet giggle though a little distracted by the talented mouth trailing down his neck and hot breath over his skin, listening to Aaron making him blush and already feel an ache for him. Something about Aaron and his voice was so in control and strong that made the genius a bit weak at the knees.

“I think Strauss and a few others may find it odd on my resume” Hotch teased and both laughed a little before he found a sensitive spot on Spencer’s neck to suck and worry with his tongue. 

Spencer felt Aaron’s hand that had been on his arm move up into his hair affectionately and he decided to ask his lover a question since the talking was more than welcomed, and after their first night together Spencer had a few curiosities of his own “do you like it, _specifically_ I mean?” 

Taking his sweet time making the genius relax into his simple touches this far, talented mouth trailing down to the genius’ collar bone he eventually answered “it never occurred to me before, I just…I cant help but find everything about you absolutely stunning,” and that admission was enough and deepened the already dark blush but Hotch continued. “How cute your moans are…” Aaron said and the hand on Spencer’s thigh slid slightly higher “your pretty little cock” he complimented boldly and this time Spencer shuddered, a stimulated squeak of “ _Aaron_ ” came out, surprised by such a thing said but not rejecting it. 

“How many times do you think you could climax in one night, hm?” Aaron said in a low, desire filled voice before sucking the pretty collarbone and letting his hand trail up to lightly touch the younger’s clothed crotch earning a small gasp. This time he waited for an answer from Spencer while gently teasing him and feeling him lean into the touches slightly. 

“I…wouldn’t know” Spencer said a little bashful, “I-I’ve never really…umm” he stuttered and Aaron smirked against pale skin.

“You don't even touch yourself do you?” Aaron said though it wasn’t really a question given how obvious the answer was, but it was still more than fun to see the shy shake of the head confirming the suspicion. He wanted to help Spencer build his confidence in a way that was positive and fun so he didn’t shy away from giving whatever compliments that came to mind “you’re so cute, you know that?” he said and the blush darkened adorably before he claimed those lips in a wine sweetened kiss.

The kiss was gentle but with Aaron’s teasing and how their bodies then pressed against each other things quickly heated up. Parting, just above a whisper the genius spoke “I do now…” and both smiled before another kiss, both increasingly aroused and hands felt over the other before they found themselves fully melting into it, an ache for closeness brought Spencer’s hands up to broad shoulders while one of Aaron’s trailed under the younger’s shirt and the other kneaded the clothed thigh. That hand spent it's while sending shivers down Spencer’s spine in a mixed effort with fingertips over skin and hot kissing with teasing tongues, before it slid up to his backside and pressed them closer. 

From their seats on the sofa they needed to shift in their need for contact and so Hotch held the genius a little tighter before guiding him to straddle his lap, somewhat shyly he went with it as the position was new for Spencer and with his thighs parted and their arousals naturally grinding slightly against each other he appeared both coy and lost in the feel of it. Spencer let Aaron grind up against him and the hand on his ass pulled him closer as he too started to rock into feeling the friction and pleasure sparks between their bodies. 

Aaron’s words continued to echo around his mind making him ache and wriggle that little bit harder earning a low almost growl from the older man, the ‘pretty little cock’ comment coming to mind “you don’t mind that I’m little?” Spencer asked softly in between kisses rather breathlessly, the grind helping jog Aaron’s memory just what he was referring to and by the tone while a little bashful there was a teasing nature to it, as though the genius was inviting him to speak more. 

To emphasise his point Aaron pulled Spencer closer, their hips grinding harder making both throb before bringing one hand between them to lightly trace the small tent in the younger’s pants and saying “not at all…I like it.” He said in a deep voice, his fingers starting to massage the hardness and making the younger wriggle and his breathing hitch “it’s like everything about you is adorable” he complimented again and claimed those already kiss swollen lips with his own earning a small moan. Brushing the younger’s clothed member a little bolder he felt him shudder and rock into the hand and Aaron chuckled a little “I can so easily give you so much pleasure too…” he added, glad for the genius to be hearing just in how many ways he was desired. 

The rocking hips became needier, both chasing friction and the tiniest whimper escaped the young agent, feeling a harsh throb between his legs and he found himself angling his hips a little more openly, chasing at least some pressure against his entrance and the hard bulge of Aaron’s arousal teased against the clothed swollen lips. Deciding to continue Aaron kissed down Spencer’s throat and said just above a gravely whisper “then you get so wet, _soaked_ …” and to that, just the mention of where he was aching so badly to be touched Spencer _whimpered_ so prettily. “I bet you're getting wetter by the moment” Aaron teased further as he rocked his hips up against the heat between his lover’s legs. 

“A-Aaron” Spencer said in a flustered fashion, clinging to the older man tighter and hands in Hotch’s dark hair he let the effects of the friction wash over him and Aaron’s firm hand only fondled him more while the other guided his hips. The hot mouth lavishing his neck with attention made him shiver and he needed more so he moved his hands to Aaron’s collar and this time undid the knot with less fumbling than last time, though passionate he wasn’t so jittery and the tie was slipped off and discarded before moving to the shirt buttons. 

Hotch’s hands in turn moved to undressing the genius and soon both shirts were removed and as they pressed flush against each other again the skin contact only made them hotter and every sensation more vivid. Spencer trailed his hands over strong pectoral and ab muscles, following the definition and lines before his fingers lowered to the bulge in Hotch’s pants, caressing him there softly at first and Aaron’s gruff moan urging him on. 

Spencer’s confidence change was night and day from a few weeks, even a few days ago, and there was something about knowing it was due to feeling cared for that made Aaron relieved, he’d been told for so long he was some cold, hard ass boss man and even in marriage that he could shut off at times, but there was something so connected between them and nurturing - both so completely on the same page since they met. He was just glad he was successfully showing Spencer how wanted he was and for the results to be so heartwarming. 

Palming Aaron’s hardness though his pants Spencer rubbed him a little firmer and he grew curious about something Aaron had done for him before and while there was a considerable difference between them he didn’t want to shy away from learning. His nerves played up only a little bit as the younger spoke “c-can I…” his face heating up as he tried to find the words “you used your mouth on me before, could I try…with you?” Spencer asked so sweetly around something so damned hot Aaron couldn’t stop the grind into the genius’ palm at the perfectly worded question. 

“Do you know how amazing you sound?” Aaron replied with a smirk before kissing him, ”you don’t have to, but if you’d like…” he continued and the lithe man gave a coy nod which only added to how endearing he was. After a couple more strokes Spencer’s fingers undid Aaron’s belt and opened his pants, the tent in the older man’s boxers immediately heavy against his palm before he made himself stand from Aaron’s lap and lower to his knees between his lover’s legs.

Faced with the intimidating size even clothed Spencer instinctually gulped and while he was nervous he wanted to make his lover feel good and knew the older man wouldn’t laugh at him if it wasn’t that great. Tenderly one of Aaron’s hands carded through Spencer’s hair and hazel eyes looked up to Aaron’s warm expression, feeling encouraged but not pressured Spencer flashed a cute smile up at his lover and the sight made Aaron’s heart skip a beat at the hot yet sweet image of the genius, an excited flutter there too at just what the young man was about to do. 

Reaching for the band of Aaron’s boxers Spencer moved the fabric and took the large erection into his hand stroking it and just getting used to the sight and feel of it so close. “Go slow, try licks first” Aaron guided and the younger nodded before giving a tentative lick to the tip and immediately the taste and texture was a new experience but he was happy to continue. Giving a few kitten licks along the shaft he got a little more used to it and he eventually treated it much like he would any other sensitive flesh, naturally starting to tease spots with his tongue and he could feel Hotch tense, keeping himself from rocking into the pleasurable treatment.

How did Spencer do such a thing so delicately? So…prettily? Every flick of the tongue was a perfect tease and when he started to suck part of the underside without being told Aaron nearly caved and thrust his hips but instead his grip in brown hair tightened a little and he let out a gruff moan. After a while of letting Spencer experiment and get to grips with the new skill Aaron said a little breathlessly “when you're ready…” his voice came out a little uneven but it was a thoroughly positive sign that Spencer was doing a good job “take me in your mouth…just a little at a time.”

Hazel eyes glanced up from their task and Spencer nodded before looking at the fully erect cock now an inch from his face the genius said “you're so big” but it wasn’t meant to be sexual, he really didn’t know just how it sounded and was just making an observation but it helped the ego certainly. Then adorably Spencer said “I’ll try” with smile, like he was giving himself a little pep talk it was rather darling to see and Aaron suppressed the chuckle though he did smile fondly at the young man. 

Instinctually Spencer licked his lips briefly and while initially he gave the tip a few more experimental licks he eventually took the head into his mouth. One of his hands kneaded into Aaron’s thigh while the other held the base of the thick cock as he experimentally felt the new weight on his tongue and finding the way to fondle it with his tongue and he felt both of Aaron’s hands go to his hair, buried in the tresses massaging him in a silent encouragement. 

Aaron was struggling not to buck into those gorgeous lips when Spencer gave a soft suck of his tip, he just focused on watching the precious person and committing every detail to memory, from the big doe eyes sometimes looking up to check his reaction, to the fine cheekbones becoming more pronounced as he sucked and those lips wrapped around his cock, a sweet kind of dedication to the act. He ran his fingers through wavy hair and occasionally caressing over his lover’s cheek or jaw.

“Yeah, like that” Hotch said and he swore he saw Spencer smile hearing those words, and when the young agent curiously tongued the slit while sucking Aaron gasped and accidentally tugged a little harder in his hair a muffled noise escaping though Reid didn’t seem to mind. “You okay?” Hotch checked and with his mouth still on him the genius nodded and continued pleasuring him. Spencer felt like he was getting the hang of things, at least so far, as he got used to the feel of Aaron’s member on his tongue and just how to suck and tease simultaneously, and Aaron’s little tug on his hair only added to the electric feeling in his skin.

Breathing a little heavier Hotch then said with a great deal of self control “you can start to bob a little, relax your jaw…” his voice more gravelly than before but it was music to Spencer’s ears and he gave it a try. Starting to inch just a little further and slowly start to move it took him a few bobs to get the right mixture of relaxed jaw and tight lips but it didn’t take long to get the form right and a couple of times he pulled back to wet his lips again and it made things a little easier especially as he tried bobbing and sucking at the same time.

“Oh god, Spencer…” Aaron moaned, running his fingers through his lover’s hair and gently guiding him in his movements and he started to give the smallest roll of his hips, alleviating some of the tension but he was still very careful to not overwhelm the young man. Eventually Spencer managed just over half of the large member while he stroked the rest in his hand and bobbed a bit more significantly, sucking and teasing with his tongue making Hotch moan gruffly sending a throb to Spencer’s crotch. 

From his kneeling position on the floor the genius squeezed his legs together somewhat and couldn’t help but wriggle slightly to try and ease the ache of arousal but the sight, sound and feel of Aaron, not to mention the happy feeling in his chest at being able to please him so, was one hell of a motivator. He felt a little daunted by how much of Aaron’s member he hadn’t taken yet, he could already feel how wide he had to open his jaw and the slight ache from the movements which took some work and he wondered if it was even possible, he wasn’t sure how to proceed so he just focused on making what he could take feel as good as possible unless Aaron instructed further. 

They continued like that for a while, Spencer’s sucks stronger and bobs smoother and picking up the pace, Aaron was able to rock into the younger’s mouth a little more bravely and in a rhythm together, Hotch never making Spencer take more than what he’d managed himself and eventually the genius got him a couple inches deeper and that was more than Aaron was expecting for his first try and given his size it was no small ask. 

What really got Aaron though was how dedicated and eager his lover was, Spencer was careful of course, but he was willing and happy to give what he could whether it was multitasking with his mouth or his hands, the stroking hand at the base working in time with those hot lips and the one on his thigh moved up to play with his balls. He hadn’t told Spencer to do that. Naturally however he massaged Aaron in his hands while never faltering in the sucks, licks and bobs, getting lost in the action and sometimes gazing up to watch Aaron pant and buck his hips a little bolder, chasing the pleasure and enjoying all the genius did to him. 

In serious danger of thrusting too harshly Aaron felt a particularly hard suck along his shaft coupled with a tongue to his slit pressing against the sensitive head while hands worked him just right, a strong jolt of pleasure to his cock made him speak “god, Spencer... _s-stop_ ” in a pant. 

Immediately Spencer pulled away softly and let his movements still as he looked up to his lover, Aaron was a little flushed and breathing roughly in a handsome display and he didn’t have time to ask why he was asked to stop before Hotch bent down to claim his lips in a fierce kiss, any words muffled and chased away by the contact. During the kiss Aaron’s hands guided him back up to sit on his lap as they clung to the other and Spencer’s arms wrapped around broad shoulders comfortably. After a flurry of kisses and both catching their breath back Spencer asked sweetly “did I do okay?” with a genuine want in his voice to have done well.

“You did amazing, Spencer…” Hotch praised and kissed Spencer’s cheek making him smile sincerely, something about the sight of that smile just did something to Hotch’s heart, it was some mixture of pride and excitement as the young man was utterly precious to behold. “Now it’s your turn…” Aaron added in a sultry tone and nibbled the genius’ earlobe teasingly while taking full opportunity of Spencer sitting on his lap he trailed his hands over clothed thighs before palming the smaller erection and Spencer gasped, clearly rather pent up. 

Spencer moaned as Aaron waisted no time in freeing the younger’s cock and stroking it makinghim shiver and rock into the firm hand wantonly. While he fondled the small cock in his palm Aaron used his thumb to tease the head eliciting a strangled gasp and he made sure to have it at full attention and for his lover to get lost in the pleasure before saying “stand up, sweetheart.”

A little dazed by Aaron’s hand on him it took Spencer a moment to realise just what was said and he complied trustingly, it was only then that Spencer realised the height levels given Aaron’s low furniture and he was rewarded by Hotch taking his cock swiftly into his mouth. “Oh, f-f…. _ah_ ” came the strangled gasp and hands were immediately in Aaron’s hair needing something to ground him. It had happened so quickly Reid’s mind was spinning and all he could do was try not to buckle at the knees as Aaron sucked all of him and teased his cock with ease.

During this Aaron pulled the younger’s pants fully down and gingerly the genius stepped out of them as Aaron expertly sucked and flicked his tongue over the sensitive flesh and Spencer let out the cutest noises at the sudden pleasure overwhelming his senses. One hand moved to Aaron’s shoulder for stability while the older man’s hands went to Spencer’s hips encouraging him to move as he wanted. Looking up to the younger’s face he was always so pretty, that blush and lips parted as he panted and gasped, lust hazy eyes meeting his own and he sucked harder to earn moans and bucks.

Trailing one hand around to Spencer’s inner thigh, Aaron began to tease a finger over the intimate folds and Spencer’s shudder didn’t go unnoticed, he was already wet and plenty eager so he wasted no time in gently pressing one finger inside the sweltering heat. The whimper that escaped the pale throat was so erotic Aaron felt himself throb to the point he moaned around the small member in his mouth, the vibrations adding to the pleasure washing over the younger man. 

Standing nude in front of Aaron as he was would have made Reid shy except the trusting nature was in full bloom and Aaron’s mouth and hands were more than distracting, that finger thrust in and out of him, massaging the inner walls and playing with aroused lips as he went before a second was added and the fingering sped up. Wet and hard Spencer didn’t know if he should rock into the hot mouth or down on the talented fingers of his lover, either way he moaned and ached for more.

Aaron couldn’t help himself, all he wanted to do was see what noises and responses he could inspire in his lover, he was so sensitive and between the cock in his mouth and the wetness on his fingers there was plenty to explore. Curling his fingers and thrusting them inside the young man with vigour, dark eyes watched as Spencer started to squirm and buck harder as the hand in Hotch’s hair tightened it's hold. Spencer had to lean a little more weight on the older man as his legs felt a little wobbly but Aaron didn’t seem to mind or even notice, just taking him in his mouth with every thrust and a familiar heat started pooling in his groin as he neared his release. 

“ _Aaron_ …I…” the genius whined adorably and Aaron only smirked as he went faster and sucked harder, tonguing the slit and made his fingers press that little bit deeper into the velvet depths striking that spot inside. “Ah, _f-fuck, Aaron…_ ” Spencer gasped and felt himself edging closer and it only took a few more bobs with the dedicated pleasuring to finish him, with a trembling moan Spencer thrust a little erratically and tugged dark hair harder as he shot his release down Hotch’s throat whom swallowed it with ease. Sucking it gently and feeling Spencer shiver and buck, he remained on the softening cock until he’d taken all it had to give for now. Aaron glanced up to his debauched genius adoring the erotic sight above him and eventually let the member fall from his lips though his hand remained between Spencer’s shaky and increasingly wetted thighs. 

Hotch stood and claimed those panting lips in his own, taking him in a deep kiss as his tongue explored equally to his fingers and Spencer immediately clung to him, sensitive from his orgasm and chasing closeness he pressed as close as they could while Aaron’s hand still played with him, With Aaron’s pants already open and low on his hips it was easy enough to remove the last of his clothing and let it fall to the floor. Afterwards Hotch’s stopped the touches earning an adorable _whine_ from the young agent but it was only for a moment as he again seated himself on the sofa and guided Spencer to straddle him again.

Spencer was relieved to not be holding himself up fully and able to at least rest kneeling either side of Aaron’s muscular thighs and they were able to grind, Spencer’s young body already half hard again as he pressed against Aaron’s larger member and both moaned. Aaron’s hands were possibly one of Spencer’s favourite things about the man, handsome and strong yet gave so much care, and he savoured the feel of them massaging his hips and thighs before one moved to cup the younger’s ass guiding him in the rocking of hips while the other reached under him and returned to teasing the soaked pussy.

Aaron kissed over Spencer’s collar bone and over his chest as he spoke, realising just how Reid liked his voice and praise, “you’re so sensitive, a real little sex kitten for me.” He followed those words by pressing two fingers inside the hot passage and feeling the wetness over his digits adding to the erotic anticipation of being inside him soon. Meanwhile Spencer didn’t know what made him moan, the intimate stimulation inside him or the swell of his chest every time Aaron complimented him and told him how wanted he was. Being with Aaron, whether it was a cup of coffee, a phone call or indulging their more carnal sides he just felt so good without fail and no doubts kept him from accepting every bit of the happy feelings anymore. “And you know I think I only hear you swear when we do this…” Aaron teased with a smirk as he increased the fiction between them. 

Reid blushed both from the touch and Hotch’s words and rolled his hips with him though a little shyly and not sure exactly how to move his body in this position. “It’s just…” Spencer said interrupted in a gasp when Aaron took a sensitive nipple into his mouth, worrying it with his tongue “...it's overwhelming...but a _good_ overwhelming.”

Aaron smirked as he sucked on the small nub and felt his lover quiver under his attention and he fingered deeper, hitting that spot again to the point he could feel the soaked entrance by his thigh. “Well this must be one of those ‘good overwhelms’ to get you so _wet_ …” Hotch replied on his way to the other nipple to tease him there too. Spencer just nodded cutely and clung to him a little needier, hips while grinding their groins together favoured the fingers brushing that sensitive bundle of nerves to make stars explode in his vision. 

Fuck, Spencer looked heavenly, the lithe form and ivory skin flushed straddling over his lap, thighs spread and pretty pink cock at attention, hair mussed and body needy for touch. Kissing and writhing, caressing and rubbing the pair got lost in the feel and contact of the other until Spencer mumbled a hot and aching “Aaron… _p-please_ ” urging for more.

Almost in a growl Aaron claimed his lips before saying in a gravelly tone guaranteed to make Spencer throb just from the sound of it “please what?” playing dumb in a teasing tone before adding a third finger into the soaked entrance and thrusting them deep earning a broken whimper and eager hips. “What is it you're begging for, baby?” the sultry question came, hot breath tickling over Spencer’s nerves and he bit his lip to keep in the whine.

A strong hit to that spot inside of him made Spencer moan breathlessly, a needy whimper addictive to hear “y-you know…please…” the genius said, thoroughly bashful but not distressed, not used to voicing his desires and he was nowhere near so fluent as Aaron was.

Hotch however read the dark blush but the healthy sign of no shrinking body language, he wanted Spencer to know he could ask for whatever he wanted and to build confidence more every day if he could. “How will I know what you want me to do…if you don't say?” he hummed placing a kiss to the pale throat and sucking there as his fingers continued to play with him.

“Just…” Spencer struggled but more to do with the many sensations hitting his body at once as well as the fog of arousal taking away any genius-ness he ever relied on at least for a while “p-please….I _need_ you” he said just above a whisper and so sincerely with the littlest pout. How was Spencer the cutest and sexiest creature on the planet and didn’t know? Regardless Aaron kissed him and was treated with the final desperate words “in-inside me,” he added in a flustered fashion and as Aaron struck brushed his g-spot deliberately at that moment he heard him gasp and mumble “ _Aaron_ , p-please…”

“There we go,” Aaron beamed, smiling warmly and placing a tender kiss to his lover’s cheek and he was glad to see a smile returned, happy at being listened to and never laughed at, only cherished and the safe feeling being rewarded time and time again chased doubts or insecurities away bit by bit. “You only have to ask, sweetheart” Aaron said, he had thought to tease lightly but it came out sincerely and he meant it. Withdrawing his fingers Spencer bit his lip at the loss but knew it was necessary to move on to the next part and when he heard Aaron direct him to retrieve a condom from Aaron’s jacket which he could reach he did so with urgency.

Handing it to Hotch the older man was quick to apply it over his own cock and he guided the genius’ hips closer as he rubbed against the swollen entrance making both shiver with need. The new position for Spencer left him a little nervous as he fumbled “how…how do I…I don’t know how…”

Aaron just smiled and kissed him before explaining warmly “it’s alright, just like before - I’ll guide you,” he soothed, his voice so relaxed and calm it gave Spencer some confidence though he was naturally still a little unsure of his own abilities on the matter. “You don't have to,” he assured as always “but part of me wants to watch you” Aaron admitted and saw the blush spread and turn bright red adorably “at least for a little bit” he added letting Spencer know if they changed positions soon it was to be expected.

“Okay…” Spencer said a little easier this time though a little shaky but Aaron’s kisses and caresses took his mind off it somewhat, especially as they went to massage his hips and Aaron would grind up against him slightly. “Wh-what do I do?” he asked looking for direction.

“Hold it and guide me under you” Aaron instructed and Spencer nodded, letting one of his hands that had been on Aaron’s shoulders slip between them and take hold of the thick cock, even through the latex could feel the heat and hardness of it and he did his best to line them up comfortably, Aaron’s words guiding him as he did so “move your hips and get the angle just right, take your time” the voice like some sort of sultry dream.

Aaron’s firm hands on Spencer’s hips helped along with his voice and the genius seated himself over the head of the older’s cock, Spencer felt a little awkward but the moment he could press Aaron’s cock to his entrance like it could actually go inside the more he wanted to just rub, something primal in it but he stayed focused through the arousal - wanting to make his lover feel good and finally get that satisfying full feeling of having his lover inside him. “Now when you're ready, just lower your hips slowly” Hotch continued though his voice was a little gruffer this time when Spencer was quick to respond and both moaned as the the thick head breeched the tight opening.

Through ragged breathing Spencer felt his walls stretch and his nerves thrumming something electric as he was gradually taking in more and more of his partner’s member. “Wiggle you're hips a little, yeah, just like that” Aaron said in a low rasp, massaging Spencer’s hips and he rocked up a little bit to ease inside. Once he was half inside he praised “so good, sweetheart” bringing him into a kiss, tongue drawing out a muffled moan and for their hips to roll a little more before parting “now lift your hips a little and get used to taking me in.” 

Reid was nervous at first, not sure how to move his hips and generally not the most coordinated person, but with Aaron’s hands and patient nature he took the advice and raised up slightly, feeling the large cock against his walls sending sparks of pleasure through his body as he went. Stopping when just the head was inside Spencer naturally gave a tiny roll and wiggle of the hips and he heard Aaron moan gruffly much to his pride before then sinking down over the hard member again. This new position had him more stretched open on his lover and after a few shallow thrusts he let himself take in more, soon enough he felt himself take the last couple inches inside and it felt so deep Spencer’s lips parted as though to moan but no noise came out in speechless pleasure. 

Once fully seated inside Aaron kissed along Spencer’s jaw “god, you’re gorgeous” he flattered and Spencer couldn’t have blushed more if he tried. Spencer’s eyes had fluttered closed when he had taken all of him inside so when hazel orbs were visible yet again through long lashes Aaron had to kiss him - the sex hazy look was too damned hot. Aaron had to cling to Spencer somewhat to not slam up into the velvety heat and the young agent enjoyed the squeeze and firm hold by his lover as he eventually made himself move again, lifting before dropping again and slowly at first to get the hang of it, just how to roll his hips and growing more comfortable with it with each thrust. 

When Aaron started to buck up into him a loud whimper left Spencer’s throat, he couldn’t help it, he was soaked and his skin on fire from sensitivity and he knew an orgasm was close. In a sweaty, moaning, mewling mess Spencer started to fall harder on the hard cock, just listening to his body and Aaron too moaned at the sudden change in pace as well as the visual of the often shy genius lost in taking pleasure. “Feel so good, Spencer…just like that” Hotch whispered, nuzzled into Spencer’s neck and shoulder as he kissed and teased the skin there “you close, baby?” he urged and Spencer’s whimper was nothing sort of pornographic when he nodded still lost in the rolling of hips.

“Yes, god, _f-fuck, Aaron_ …” came the quick succession of little pleas as Spencer’s movements sped up and Aaron couldn’t control himself any more as he started to pound harder up into his lover, inner walls gripping him divinely “A-Aaron… _ah_ ….” was all Spencer could get out as he clung to his lover and did his best to meet the slamming thrusts though he couldn’t focus like he had before as that bundle of nerves was struck over and over. Tensing and shuddering Spencer’s orgasm hit and hit hard, a strangled gasp let out while he arched his back at the feeling, an intense climax washing over his body and he felt a sudden wetness between his thighs. However this time - it didn’t stop, Aaron’s aim and thrusts had him sure he felt another wave of pleasure through his body and a second orgasm quickly follow the first making his vision darken and blur while he shivered and clung to his lover like his life depended on it.

The stunning whimper bordering on _sob_ that left the genius as he was overwhelmed by pleasure, the sharpness of nails in Aaron’s back and those jittery hips and trembling thighs riding him with the sopping soaked pussy swallowing him up had Aaron throb and buck harder at the burning hot image of the young man in his arms. Holding him close Hotch reached up to bury his hand in tousled hair to pull Spencer into a deep kiss as they both moaned, muffled into the other. Both panting and glistening with sweat Hotch watched the genius lose the rhythm a little, too stimulated and feeling all kinds of relaxed so he pulled him flush against his body with his strong arms and gently moved his lover to the side, laying the genius on his back against the sofa cushions and immediately taking the new position to drive his hips against Spencer’s.

The young agent was putty in his hands, writhing and taking all Aaron gave him as he was thrust into faster and harder, the wet slap of flesh against flesh filling the room entwined with their moans and harsh breathing muffled only by kisses. Toes curling and back arching the genius bit his lip through a breathless whimper as his boyfriend continued to strike that spot over and over and he was just along for the ride. He couldn’t see straight, he could only focus on Aaron’s handsome face filled with desire and both lost in the pleasured haze between them.

Peppering kisses along the pale throat, littered with darkening marks already he sucked over a sensitive spot as he continued to ram his hips inside the wet heat and he felt Spencer’s thighs around his waist tensing while fingers tightened in his hair and he could feel the younger’s hips drive up in a desperate manner while tensing - close again. Spencer moaned brokenly as he felt another orgasm building and this time Aaron reached between their bodies to take his small cock in hand, rubbing the hard member in time with the thrusts and the young man was undone. 

“ _Aaron_ …” the name was torn from his throat in utter ecstasy as he came, spilling into Aaron’s hand and quickly following that in a soaking climax, clenching around the thick member inside him and the deep, rough moan that inspired in the older man made him shiver through it. Hotch rocked erratically, his lover squeezing him in a tight grip through his release as Aaron sought his own. Through the blur of bliss he was only vaguely aware that he felt a little wetter, but given the passionate experience he could just be leaking more precum into the condom. 

Spencer, wrecked from his climaxes and in some sexual high caressed through his lover’s dark hair and joined in a breathless kiss when he felt Aaron’s hips still, cock buried deep and the raspy moan telling him his lover came. Clinging to each other Aaron thrust a few more times until fully spent before both just let the waves of post coital rapture take over, panting hard and tingling skin addicted and looking for more, every touch causing shivers and sensitivity. Lazy kisses were shared and both lay together for a long moment, Aaron letting his weight rest for a while over his lover as both tried to get their bearings again but in no rush. 

With hazy smiles they pair gazed longingly at each other, post sex giddiness obvious as they kissed and held each other softly, Spencer tenderly running his fingers through Aaron’s hair while Hotch felt down the lithe man’s side sweetly. They grounded themselves enough to share an innocent but heartfelt kiss, fuelling their care for the other into it making their hearts flutter and flip happily. As breathing calmed at least a little and the world faded into focus a little more Aaron felt different sensations around his softening cock, something much wetter and he had a suspicion as to why but to not worry the young lover he calmly pulled back enough to carefully withdraw.

Looking between them as he did so he realised the condom had split and while he didn’t want to stress his lover he had to know and deserved to be told, “uh, Spencer..?” he said, his voice quieter and raspier than expected due to their activities but it was enough to stir the genius from his dreamy bliss. 

“Hm?” Spencer managed at first but through the blur he could read Aaron’s expression enough to feel a sudden pang of concern, a strong juxtaposition to the fun just had “is something wrong?” he asked though a little confused.

Aaron as he slipped off the condom with one hand soothed down his lover’s torso with the other to try an ease any anxiety before answering “I don’t want to worry you, the condom split” he informed clearly and hoping his own calm energy might help Spencer’s nerves. The genius sat up slightly as he tensed, “I’m clean” Hotch added as well while he put the broken latex in the trash before turning to his lover with a soft and understanding expression. 

“M-me too” Spencer stuttered, not panicking but a little jittery, feeling just a little awkward as he tried to tell himself it was only a little accident and that actually their risks were small. Aaron wouldn't lie about something like STIs and Spencer being a virgin prior to him plus how low a chance their was of Spencer conceiving even if he tried. Letting out a steadying breath hazel eyes matched dark ones and seemed to relax a little “it happens, it’s okay.”

Aaron kissed Spencer’s forehead and guided him into a small hug and the young agent felt comforted by the warmth and safe strong arms of his partner. “You sure you're okay?” Aaron checked in a soft tone, inviting Spencer to talk about it if he wanted or needed to. 

“Y-yeah…I mean…naturally I'm practically on the pill,” Spencer reasoned, his big doe eyes particularly bright in the vulnerable moment “you're my only partner, you uh…you say you're clean?”

“I got tested after my divorce and I haven’t been with anyone since but you” Aaron spoke clearly, a care in his voice that made Spencer’s soul happy and he watched the genius visibly relax though it was still a rather sudden jolt from the fun they were having just moments ago so Aaron decided to do what he could to keep his mind from it. Kissing his cheek and soothing down the lithe man’s back Aaron said “I really do care for you, so much…no matter what we’re golden, alright?” and that seemed to finally chase any nerves away and Spencer smiled, hazel eyes watching Aaron doing his utmost to make him feel happy and safe. 

Nodding Spencer replied “thanks Aaron…” before moving leaning up to kiss Aaron, a vulnerable and yet dedicated kind of emotional connection as he did so and they only held each other tighter.


	7. Varied Gameplay in Attaboy League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets Jack.

After their passionate get-together on the sofa followed by a particular latex related hiccup the couple managed to relax and enjoy the rest of their night, returning to talking about anything and everything and that peaceful feeling of being in the other’s company returned, by the time they were cuddling in bed later it was practically forgotten. The accident with the condom had been a little incident overall given their health and level of trust in the other and the longer Spencer’s subconscious worked on it the more any concerns had faded, especially with Aaron’s calm and accepting nature of their little ‘sex ed’ talk beforehand.

For Aaron he himself was perfectly fine with it, Spencer having been a virgin before him was as safe as it gets and as for risk of pregnancy that was a medical near impossibility and frankly ‘pregnancy’ as a ‘risk’ didn’t phase Aaron in the slightest - instead of the word ‘risk’ he found it more like a ‘possibility’. He loved kids, as ridiculous as it sounded if they were literally delivered by storks and it was on random selection he wouldn’t feel any anxiety at the ‘risk’. It was just something that ‘could’ happen and he was fine with that though he understood things were early in their relationship, if there was a more ideal way for such a thing to happen or if the genius just didn’t want it to happen there was room for caution.

He respected whatever Spencer needed of him though luckily any anxiety seemed to disappear quickly enough, it was probably likely that Spencer had no issue with it at all except that he hadn’t yet had time to think over how he felt on the concept or choice, it was only by accident that the young man had been faced with the topic of unprotected sex and had to process it all of a sudden. The level of trust and how strong a relationship they already had was more than heart warming and so he took pride in being able to comfort the young man in his arms, his comment about caring about Spencer and that they’d be fine no matter what clearly helpful for the young man to hear.

Hotch also became very glad he’d made himself get tested after his divorce from Hayley, he didn’t expect anything of it given their fidelity and many years together but there were other ways to contract certain things and he honestly categorised the testing like anything else one might measure in managing their own health - he looked at STI testing no differently than he might when weighing himself, taking an eye-sight test or checking blood pressure when the time was reasonable. But it meant that when he had to tell Spencer about the split condom at least he’d been able to say with confidence that there was nothing to worry about on that front and for the genius as someone still new to sex it probably helped ease his mind a great deal.

Following their eventful night together the next day the team was given a case, and while there might have been the small moment of tension it was way in the background already and there was no hiding how uncharacteristically good he felt, in full work mode he was his serious boss self but when allowed to relax and think his mind filled with thoughts of the young agent. He also had to hope the case worked out rather quickly so he could get back in time to have Spencer meet Jack at the weekend, he was sure it would go well for all the genius was nervous but it meant the world to him that Spencer cared so much in the first place.

In the elevator of a tall office building going to talk to a possible suspect Aaron and Rossi stood watching the numbers light up across the wall above the door, it had been such a flurry of case details and they really hit the ground running with the team going all directions to get as much underway as possible they hadn’t really had time to chat. “So?” Rossi asked casually and amongst the calm quiet of the elevator it brought Hotch out of his thoughts. 

“So…what?” Aaron asked flatly, though he was pretty sure he had a subtle smile while thinking to himself. 

“How’s the weather?” Rossi said sarcastically with a chuckle before voicing “what do you think I mean?” and miming a big smile with his fingers in a slightly teasing but happy manner between friends, clearly asking about how the relationship was going. 

Aaron rolled his eyes slightly but answered “it’s going great.” 

Immediately Dave had to push it and say “and you’re finally having sex again” making Aaron shoot a strong stare at him so the older man held his hands up “what? so sue me, I'm happy for you.” 

Letting out a small sigh but smiling through it subtly Hotch replied “privacy is important…” and after a look from Dave he continued “though there is plenty to boast about if I chose to” with a smirk and small shrug casually, not indulging too much and leaving plenty to the imagination, not the sleazy type as a lot of other agents could be.

“Attaboy” Dave said and both chuckled, Aaron shaking his head at the older’s antics, “so…when do we get to meet this guy?”

Aaron ran that thought over in his head and said “well, soon likely…Spencer’s even meeting Jack on Saturday if we get back in time.”

“Well first off, thank you for the name reveal - finally!” Dave said with a grin, Aaron had never said the genius’ name and kept things between himself and Spencer for the most part.

“You know withholding that information was more so Garcia didn’t go stalking him.”

“Fair” Dave replied “but that’s great, if he wants to meet Jack that’s a great sign.”

“It is…” Aaron agreed though there was a small tension in his shoulders and in his mind again “he’s nervous, it’s sweet really…”

Dave smiled at the idea and for the progression of his friend’s relationship “do you foresee a problem?”

“No ‘problem’ - it’s just important is all, it should go fine…” 

“But you're overthinking it?” Rossi finished Aaron’s thought sympathetically “well come hell or high-water we’re getting back to Virginia in time for Saturday” he promised with enthusiasm “it’ll go fine, Jacks a friendly kid and if this ‘Spencer’ can melt you're heart he’ll work the magic on the kid too.”

“Thanks, Dave.”

* * *

Friday afternoon Spencer sat working away at his desk, a small mountain of books and papers as well as a couple of boards to write up thoughts and maps as he put together reports and syllabi while Gideon did much the same when there was a knock to the door. “Come in” Gideon said without looking up from his page.

In an odd moment Spencer saw none other than Erin Strauss enter the office and when she asked to speak to the older agent in private Gideon didn’t seem surprised by who was at the door or all that reluctant to speak to her which was strange for him, often if he thought they might be expecting a visit from management he would suddenly be nowhere to be found which was rather entertaining. Even more oddly was that Gideon fully to expect her presence and didn’t make any excuses to not see her and instead they got up to speak elsewhere and Spencer was left curious and alone in the office.

He had a funny feeling it was about the funding for the BAU, either wanting Gideon to go back or perhaps asking about Gideon being a reference for himself, it wasn’t just Aaron that had made passing mention to how relevant the genius’ skills were to the field, Jason had been mentioning it more and more and a few reviews brought up the idea. It was still a lot to consider as a position, the practical experience mostly but he was up for a challenge and to grow his skills if possible, then there was the idea of working with Aaron which would bring its own joys and challenges but he hoped if the opportunity did come that things worked out.

Spencer’s phone buzzed snapping him from his thoughts and he quickly went to his bag to check it, he usually wouldn’t be so quick to look except that he was waiting to hear if Aaron would be back in time for Saturday from the case and as he opened the device he was greeted with a message from Aaron with the usual kindnesses, asking how his weeks been going and hoping Jason isn’t working him too hard, before adding that the case was solved and they were helping with gathering additional evidence and hopefully to get a full confession out of the unsub by the end of the day and that he would be back by Saturday regardless. 

Smiling to himself he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, he was still nervous but he was excited at the same time, Jack was clearly Aaron’s pride and joy and so it was all the more important he meet him and make a good impression. He hoped at very least his willingness would be something and Aaron would be there to guide things, plus he was interested in seeing them together and Aaron as a father would be sweet. Leaving a reply and they made plans for tomorrow and some general updates about the week before tucking the phone away and Gideon eventually returned from his spontaneous meeting. 

“I thought you became mysteriously unfindable when she was nearby” Spencer said with a smile as Gideon sat back at his desk and it earned at least a small chuckle with was nice to hear, luckily whatever he was in a meeting for not too soul destroying. 

“Yeah well, the topic was of interest…” Gideon sighed before leaning back in his chair and holding the young doctor’s gaze, deciding to just let the cat out of the bag the older agent said “you given much thought to the BAU, kiddo?”

“Uuh…” Spencer hesitated at the bold reveal of just what they had been speaking about before answering “a little, why?”

“You know why” Gideon replied, his expression rather warm all things considered “you know you’d be great at it right?”

Feeling a little bashful at the compliment Spencer found the words “uh, well…I can see how I’d be useful” being more confident but still too modest. 

Gideon let it slide and was glad to have gotten that much of an answer from the shy genius, he’s made a lot of progress lately and he was pretty sure Aaron was partly to thank, then as that thought entered the man’s mind he asked directly “you thought about what it’ll be like working with Hotch?”

After Gideon’s ‘stunt’ at Hotch’s office how much the older man knew was out in the open and they’d spoken about the relationship at least a little so it was no surprise to hear the question. “I think he’d be professional” Spencer answered honestly, the thing about profiling was you ended up sort of profiling each other however lightly, and Aaron was justice focused to a fault, in all likelihood they could develop the most amazing or most toxic relationship and Aaron would still do his utmost to keep it from affecting the field or their jobs. 

“Really, what if you were in danger?” Gideon asked, opening up the topic. 

Spencer smiled and said “professional _within reason_ ” he corrected. Gideon smiled, the honesty was thoroughly helpful and it was healthy to hold no delusions, they were human after all and they weren't robots, if they were to have biases or habits they were best to know what they were and understand them. “You don't seem worried” Spencer analysed from his mentor’s expression.

“I think you'll make a good team, so long as you're willing to stand up to him, which to save lives I think you would” Gideon answered “you’ve stood up to me a few times when you really believed in something and it’s served you well” he added, a look almost like pride though the genius didn't point it out. 

Spencer just smiled back and chimed “thanks…”

* * *

Late Friday night Aaron made it home and set his alarm for early in the morning, he got a few things ready for picking up Jack and for having him over for the weekend and eventually was able to change and lie down to sleep. As he did so he felt a little alone in his big bed without the genius there, he felt the need to cuddle the lithe man into his side and kiss his hair only he wasn’t there and Aaron thought about calling him but decided against it. 

It was beyond late and Spencer was getting up early too to see Jack’s sports day and he would see him in a few hours regardless but he had to consider the longing in his chest for the genius’ company. In the last year of being divorced and even longer of being separated and moved out on his own he had felt a want for Jack to be over more sometimes and it could get lonely from time to time but he had never lay awake just _wanting_ a special someone’s company, but now he had a precious person in his life it was all too real just what he did want by his side and it came in the form of one adorable Dr Spencer Reid.

He’d fallen and fallen hard, he would be pretending if he said his heart hadn’t been claimed by the young agent, his sweetness and modesty mixed with such brilliance too much even for his stony character. Maybe it was too soon, but he knew of others that jumped right into things so it wasn’t necessarily strange, but he didn’t want to overwhelm his boyfriend though he could see how hazel eyes looked at him back, something adoring and so filled with trust it made his chest ache. 

Turning in his bed Aaron eventually drifted off to sleep, the knowledge that it would only bring the morning to him faster when he would get to see Spencer helped ease his mind that little bit, even if there was some pressure on the young man meeting Jack for the first time. But he was looking forward to it in many ways, his two favourite people finally getting to know each other was only a good thing.

* * *

Early in the morning Spencer stirred awake before his alarm went off, hazel eyes fluttering open he noticed the twelve minutes he had left before the thing would beep and he’d have to drag himself out of bed. He didn’t mind the early start really but part of him wanted to roll over and sleep for an extra hour, but maybe that had something to do with his boyfriend’s shirt that remained on the bed. It was the one Aaron had worn last time he came over but forgot to pack it when he’d changed the next day from his go bag, Spencer had found it when he got back from work and sat on his sofa to read, finding it left there by accident. 

Since then it had moved places numerous times, each attempt to be to lay it out to remember to pack it and give it to Aaron or so he could easily remember to mention it but it ended up on his bedding and next thing he knew it helped him sleep, the subtle presence of his lover much appreciated and some miraculous cure to the frequent poor sleeper. It just reminded him of all Aaron was, the broad shoulders and strong arms that made him feel safe, the warmth of his body and the care taken with the genius every moment they were together and the faint scent of his aftershave didn’t go amiss either. It wasn’t like he curled up in it or anything, it was just there, present and more than welcomed to stay.

The annoying beeps of the alarm clock sounded, filling the room with a grating noise to the mind and the genius dragged himself out of bed to start his morning, nervous to be meeting with Jack but at least part of the morning was just watching the boy play, for all it was a sports day and there was a soccer game to watch, the child was only four and it was likely to be more adorable than sporting. But at very least exercise = endorphins and endorphins = good mood. The scientific and logical look at his odds meant that the chance of having a positive meeting with Jack was only increased and he tried to calm himself.

Getting dressed he took Aaron’s advice and layered up, the early hour meant the chill in the air was rather biting despite likely being perfectly warm later on. He had to keep snapping himself out of his thoughts to actually get ready to go and just before heading out the door he thought about taking Aaron’s shirt with him to discreetly give back but there was no rush, Aaron hadn’t asked for it and he kind of liked it, any reminder of Aaron seemed to have an effect on him and he had a few keepsakes already in a box under his bed filled with ticket stubs, programmes from theatre productions and more.

That happy feeling bubbled in his chest again and he tried not to dwell in it or else he’d never focus on the morning, the genius’ wary heart all too easily given to the older agent and if he continued down that thought path he’d be late. He had to make himself go out, as ready as he’d ever be to meet Aaron’s son and it was important, he also knew the nerves would subside soon enough after actually going, the anticipation more stressful that the act itself. And if Jack was important to Aaron, which he was obviously, then he was important to Spencer. So with a bit of motivation pushing him passed any worries he locked up and with an inner monologue he tried to give himself a pep talk that Jack might be the breaker of the Reid Effect curse.

* * *

Aaron looked at Jack, the small boy smiley and dressed for his soccer game and waiting for Spencer to arrive, the boy practically bouncing on his heels and it was hard to tell if it was because he was just a happy four year old or if today had him particularly energetic. “You going to be good for Spencer, Jack?” Aaron said with a smile and ruffled his son’s hair with a gloved hand, the boy in his coat but would be plenty warm when running about, the boy nodded in the adorable way small children did with enthusiasm making him smile. 

“Yup” Jack said before he asked in the slightly impatient way children could also be “how much longer?” both asking about when the game starts and when he might see his father’s boyfriend.

“Spencer will be here any minute and the game is soon, some of your classmates haven't arrived yet” Hotch informed softly before his eyes caught sight of a familiar little car pulling into the carpark, Spencer rarely drove but the few times he did it was in his old fashioned model though it was rather fitting, the man so obsessed with books and even owned more vinyl records than anything modern, it suited him. “Actually Jack, I see Spencer right now” he said and Jack smiled so wide it was more than easing to any previous worries, though the good doctor was likely still tense but would find out soon enough there’s nothing to be anxious about.

Spencer got out of his car and headed to where Aaron said to meet and felt a little jittery, even so he didn’t let himself turn back or hesitate, the sooner he just got the initial awkwardness out of the way the better for everyone and in Aaron’s company he figured a lot of his stress might dissipate. However the moment he spotted the pair, Aaron’s handsome face smiled at him and he gave a wave which was returned, the older man then leaning down to talk to the boy whom he recognised from the photographs. 

The closer he got the more his nerves played up but as the boy’s eyes moved to him and that big smile didn’t shift and instead widened, Jack gave a wave too and Spencer felt butterflies in his tummy at the sight. Then as if any anxious prayers were answered the boy then moved from his father’s side and immediately asked for a hug with small but open arms, thoroughly honoured Spencer could only accept the hug, leaning down in a bit of shock to make the exchange easier. The welcoming gesture quickly explained in one single exclamation as Jack said “thanks for making daddy smiley!” 

Spencer immediately felt a faint blush over his cheeks at the unabashed joy and gratitude sent his way and hugged the boy back warmly, a little flustered by the compliment he said “oh, umm…y-you’re welcome, Jack” with a smile, pulling back a bit but not standing up straight again to look the boy in the eye as he continued “it’s so good to finally meet you, I guess making your daddy smile is something we have in common.”

The boy’s big smile was then accompanied by bright eyes, communicating just how happy he was to hear that he too made Hotch happy “I guess so!” Jack chimed before asking curiously “do you work with daddy?”

“I work for the FBI but not in the same team” Spencer answered, hazel eyes so focused on giving the child his undivided attention he didn’t see Aaron watching the whole thing, in awe at their adorable and heart warming display. “I teach profiling though, the way your daddy catches bad guys and I use a lot of his work in my work” Reid explained cheerfully, Jack so friendly the conversation was easy compared to other exchanges with children he’d had and the hug had chased away any nerves he had before. 

“If you teach that stuff you must be super smart!” Jack said with a grin and Spencer started to wonder if making him blush was a Hotchner family trait as both Aaron and Jack did it with ease. 

“Uh well, I suppose so…” Spencer replied “how are you feeling about the game today?” 

The boy nodded, looking forward to getting to play with friends and run about more than anything “gonna do good!” the boy said in a mini cheer and both adults chuckled. 

Aaron stepped closer and ruffled his son’s hair again affectionately, he didn’t correct the word ‘good’ to ‘well’ this time though he usually would, he was just enjoying the sight of his favourite people getting along far too pleasing “that’s right, Jack” Aaron said “but remember it’s not about winning, just have fun and work as a team, okay?” he reminded kindly, the boy only little after all.

“I will, daddy” Jack said before hearing the coach whistling and calls for the children to gather on the small pitch.

“Good luck, Jack” Spencer said encouragingly.

“Thanks, Spencer!” the boy said before going for another hug, making the genius’ heart do a little flip at being so wholly accepted, and Jack only let go to hug his father’s leg for a short moment before joining his friends by the coach and other volunteers. Spencer stood and both men watched him go and gave a little wave and it was only then that all of the last few moments caught up with him and Spencer let out a shaky breath at the ‘first impression’ going so unbelievably well.

Aaron smiled and placed a hand on Spencer’s back affectionately and finally the couple looked at each other fully, soft smiles in place before Aaron closed the distance between them, placing a brief hello kiss to his boyfriend’s lips sending the happy tingly feeling over both of them only heightened by the cold nip of the early morning air. “Well that went well” Aaron mused with a small chuckle “and you were so nervous” he added a little tease though it was laced with warmth.

Spencer’s blush wasn’t leaving any time soon but he did manage to reply “at least I was right, he’s such a little gentleman” Spencer complimented the boy and by extension his parents who were clearly brining him up well “such a cute kid.”

Aaron smiled, a relief over both of them now that the first tentative moments were passed and they were set up to have a positive day. “Come on, we’d best take our seats” Aaron said, his hand not leaving the genius’ back as he started to lead the way “so the early morning get up to cheer on kids running around isn’t too bad?”

Spencer giggled and answered “not at all, in fact I think I prefer this league of soccer to the more advanced, I’m predicting more varied game play,” and Aaron too chuckled a little, that was for sure, “I mean they might score or one might go spinning to see how dizzy he can get, you don’t get that with the pros.”

* * *

The pair watched the game, Jack one of the better in the team though occasionally distracted but he was only four years old so he was actually doing really well. Meanwhile Aaron couldn’t stop looking at his boyfriend, he looked very cute with the thick scarf and constant smile, seeing the couple of hugs the genius had with Jack was an image he would cherish too and seeing Spencer so happily accepting of the boy was only strengthening any feelings they already held for each other. 

When Jack had the ball Spencer would cheer just as much as Aaron would, Hotch also being sure to catch some of the game on his phone for keepsakes and to send to Hayley since she was out of town and couldn’t make the game. Some parents said hello and would chat for short parts and while some introduced themselves to Spencer nobody asked who he was and how he knew Aaron, all assuming he was a friend or colleague and nothing more. 

One couple arrived late to the game, speedily getting their child onto the pitch and apologising before making their way up to the seats with everyone else, as they passed they stopped to say “hey Aaron, how’re you getting on?” in a friendly manner. 

They quickly caught up politely, between Aaron’s work and the couple’s frequent tardiness they didn’t bump into each other often and a lot of the chat was light before the husband held his hand out to the good doctor “hey, how rude of me, I’m Damien” he introduced himself and the pair shook hands “and this is my wife, Sally” he gestured to her and she gave a wave.

“Hi, I’m Spencer” the agent replied cordially.

“So how do you know, Aaron?” Damien asked, fully expecting the answer to be ‘work’ or given Spencer’s youthfulness for all he knew Spencer was some new babysitter for Jack.

Spencer hesitated a moment, not sure how to find the words however Hotch was quick and calm to reply honestly “Spencer’s my boyfriend” something about his confidence taking away the awkwardness although the couple were very surprised. 

Any assumptions were largely excused as they didn’t know each other that well and they'd have assumed he’s straight given his previous marriage to Hayley, also Spencer looks young they did notice the curious eyes lingering on the genius a little too long. Whatever opinions they had or didn’t have weren’t voiced, it was not their business and nice people at the core however unexpected the news was and they eventually smiled. “Well isn’t that sweet, coming to the soccer game” Sally said “and I’m sure Jack’s doing well, our Ewan…” she was about to speak when she looked up and rubbed her hand over her face in some exasperation though a tired smile “well…he’s throwing a tantrum and pulling up grass” she said and both men tried not to laugh “wish I could say I was surprised” she mumbled but then they all managed to have a little chuckle over it light heartedly.

Damien in a friendly voice thens said “we should probably stop blocking the Wilsons’ view and take our seats, nice seeing you” and the couple walked off and while they were polite they clearly ended up having a bit of a private gossip between them about what they’d just learned. 

Hotch ignored them and luckily Spencer didn’t seem to fazed, if anything hearing Aaron so easily tell people about their relationship made him happier. Still though Aaron leaned over and whispered “other kid’s parents can be the worst,” implying any judgement that might happen is because they were judgmental and not because there was anything to actually be awkward over “but if anyone’s rude just know it’s them not us, okay?”

“I know…” Spencer said, the smile not having left the moment he got the hug from Jack and it was only getting stronger, it was then that hazel eyes looked back to the game and he excitedly said “Jack's got the ball” and immediately both watched and Aaron started to film again, cheering for him and the little boy cutely weaved his way, clumsily at times but he stayed focused, passed several players and eventually he lined up the shot by the net and took the shot. Goal! 

Aaron managed to work on some sort of autopilot, filming and cheering, feeling happy at the sight of his son but also completely mesmerised by the young man next to him, so encouraging and happy to cheer on the little boy he’d only just met.


	8. Dr Mathematic's Magic Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> funding has been approved for a new BAU member and Jack is amazed by Spencer.

“Did you see me, daddy?!” Jack asked enthusiastically after the game, his team having won though the coach claimed it wasn’t about keeping score, the boy feeling particularly giddy at having scored a couple of goals.

“We did Jack, you did amazing out there” Aaron said proudly, looking at his son all messy from playing in the dirt and only finding it made him even happier to see.

The boy then immediately turned to the genius and asked “Spencer, did you see?” clearly hopeful that he was seen doing well.

“I did, very impressive goals you scored!” Spencer chimed and the grin on Jack’s face was immeasurably sweet and it only brightened when they had a little high five “and I noticed you passed a lot, that’s really good teamwork” he added praising the boy further. 

In a sudden change of subject as children often did Jack followed that with “I’m hungry” and both adults just smiled, the children had had early breakfasts and snacks for the game but with all the running about he had well earned some food so they decided to go to a local cafe for something light. For the first little while they talked about how the game went and Jack talking about his friends although throughout he seemed to be staring at Spencer, thoroughly curious about the man but not sure what to ask. 

Eventually the boy talked about his teachers and while the boy loved art and learning about the world, anything whether it was space or animals, until the boy added “math is annoying.”

“Oh?” Spencer replied “what about it?” he asked taking an interest, the level of mathematics for Jack’s age was basic such as recognising numbers in the function of counting, not just memorising sounds and given the boy was nearing a bit closer to five now his counting was getting higher.

“It’s just all jumbled and stuff” the boy answered and at the cafe he’d been provided some paper and crayons to have fun as he ate and he scribbled a bit with numbers but he clearly had to think hard about exactly how to draw the lines of the numbers and he got a three backwards. 

“You’ll get there, it just takes practice, Jack. I love math” Spencer said with a smile and the boy looked surprised that anyone could enjoy the subject so he curiously asked “you do?” and tilted his head cutely. 

“I have a PhD in it,” Reid answered “I’m a doctor of mathematics” and he watched the boys jaw dropped in awe. An impressed “whoa…” sound escaping and Spencer suppressed the giggle and tried to explain the nature of math in a way for the boy to appreciate. 

“I'm sure you’ll pick it up, think of math more like a language, its just symbols and ways of speaking to answer questions” and the boy made a slightly confused face so Spencer added “like how fast is a cheetah? well to answer that we have to ask what does ‘fast’ mean? we need to know ‘distance’ then, we need to know ‘time’” and finally the boy seemed to click just what Spencer was saying and nodded with a smile, at his age he was likely at least getting introduced to the idea of reading and understanding ‘time’. 

“And then are we asking how fast a cheetah is just by timing it, or do we need to think about how heavy it is, or if its running uphill? all of these things affect the simple question, and if we used complicated sentences _every time_ to explain every little bit of figuring those questions out it would take _forever”_ he emphasised to really communicate what a tiring process that would be _“_ math is just a ‘language’ to try and answer questions.”

“Oh, that’s way better!!!” Jack said with fully engrossed eyes, “Miss Davies just said ‘math was important’,” he added and now he seemed to fully realise what the potential of math was and why he had to do his best to learn what he could. Adorably Jack then decided to test Spencer, being a doctor of mathematics he felt confident the genius had to know the seemingly super hard questions “so, do you know…a hundred a four…” he started, thinking hard on what to ask, being so young he knew some big numbers but ‘counting’ to them was another skill which added to the randomness “plus a million and a half” his language very entertaining. 

Presuming the boy meant 1.5 million and not 1 million and then 0.5, though regardless the sum was very simple but to the boy it seemed almost impossible that Spencer answer immediately with “one million, five hundred thousand, one hundred and four” confidently. 

The boy’s expression amazed and thus began a series of random math questions along with food, Spencer happily answering as easily as breathing and every time he seemed surprised. At one point Jack leaned over to Spencer and seemed to be checking for something “what are you looking for?” the genius asked.

Aaron was the one to chuckle as he said “are you looking for an ear piece?” Jack quickly nodded still trying to see anything and both adults couldn’t contain the big smiles “Spencer’s just that smart, Jack” Hotch added fondly.

It felt like over the short meal Jack asked a bajillion questions, from math to animals to space and so on, Spencer answering each one and the boy excitedly getting curiosity after curiosity answered. Spencer never grew tired of them, actually he was well suited to the endless questions of a young boy and they found themselves talking about anything, sharks, dragons, different languages, Dr Seuss, why the sky is blue, the topics endless and it seemed like there was nothing the genius didn’t know.

Aaron watched the two talk and spend time together, he might as well not even be there with how well they were getting along, lost in his appreciation of the sight in front of him and the happy sound of their chatter he was only brought out of it when his phone started to buzz and he feared it would be a case however it was actually Hayley. He let the pair know who was calling by answering with “hey Hayley” and Spencer only briefly glanced up before continuing his conversation with Jack about dragons. 

“Hey, how’d my little man do at the game?” the blonde asked over the call.

“Amazing, he scored the winning goal and I got it on video” Hotch beamed “I'll send it over, you want to talk to him?” before she agreed and handed the cell over the the cheery child. 

“Hi mommy,” Jack greeted and they couldn’t hear what she was saying but when Jack continued the adults exchanged a knowing glance “awesome day, yup…do you know Spencer? he’s super smart, he's amazing!” and after a pause of Hayley speaking something they couldn't make out the boy elaborated “daddy’s boyfriend, yeah, he’s so cool, he knows _everything_ ” Jack rambled and his enthusiasm was beyond sweet. 

Spencer was a little nervous about Hayley getting more included in what he had with Aaron, not out of any doubts really and he was no where near as anxious as he had been about making a good impression on Jack, but she was Jack’s mom and if Spencer was going to be in Aaron’s life he wanted things to be friendly. The mother and son continued their conversation though mostly about the game from then on, meanwhile Aaron held Spencer’s hand under the table giving it an affectionate squeeze and flashing a small smile instantly comforting him. 

“Daddy, here’s mommy” Jack said suddenly and gave his father the phone, using his free hand he took it and said hi, Hayley quick to chime “hey Aaron…your boyfriend sure sounds popular with Jack” she said in a friendly tone.

“I know,” Aaron replied calmly “today’s been a fun one.”

“I’m glad,” she said, likely relieved that Jack was just having a good day and there were no instant red flags about the introduction of the relationship to the boy “and gotta say, if he’s meeting Jack it’s serious” she put out there, her tone open and it was relaxing to hear, the woman clearly happy for things to be fully moved on and settled, mostly for Jack and she would probably much prefer Aaron be in a serious relationship than having the uncertainties of dating going on for a long time so she looked at it as good news. 

“It definitely is” Aaron answered “anyway, have a good trip and I’ll give you a call so you can say goodnight.”

“Okay, thanks Aaron” she replied before they closed the call and by the time he looked up form the screen he saw the pair were at it again, this time Jack asking about all the languages Spencer knew and Aaron was genuinely concerned at that point he might get laugh lines, how non-Hotch-like would that be?

* * *

At Aaron’s place Jack finally took a break from bombarding the genius with questions, though Spencer never seemed fatigued by them and actually it was his ideal kind of conversation, but they settled down to watch a movie and Jack was adamant that Spencer watch it with him when he realised the man had never seen How To Train Your Dragon. Hotch settled down with them, Spencer in the middle of the two Hotchners, and this too was a first viewing for Spencer.

After getting home and taking their coats off Spencer had realised the older man was in his casual wear, he’d only ever seen Aaron on dates or more recently nude, so he’d seen jeans with a nice shirt before but to see the man in jeans and t-shirt was a whole new experience and he found his eyes wandering a little. How was Aaron so macho all the time? Those shoulders and strong arms only emphasised now by the body hugging attire, and better yet was how the man seemed relaxed and having fun. 

At some point the pair met gazes and flashed a smile to each other, Aaron moving his arm over his boyfriend’s shoulders warmly and placing a small kiss to his cheek. Enjoying the movie, Jack giggling at Toothless’ cat-like gestures and it was a sweet sound, the boy also started drawing at the coffee table part way through seating himself on the floor by their feet happily. A contented hum seemed to fall over the house and the adults sank into the sofa together more relaxedly, Aaron even leaning over to whisper “Jack seems to be enjoying himself” with a smile.

“I’m glad” Spencer replied softly, the boy distracted between the dragons on screen and his doodling “I was so scared the Reid Effect was going to crop up again” he admitted.

“Well how close have you ever really been to children?” Aaron mused “single child, peers older than you…it’s okay if you haven't had much reason to be close with kids before” he shrugged off like it was logical and that bit of understanding helped the genius feel like the Reid Effect was at least a little more normal.

“I guess you’re right, nice profiling by the way” Spencer said cheekily as he went over the information “were you close with your brother when you were little?” he asked, Aaron had mentioned his brother Sean but not much so he was curious.

“I went to boarding school so we didn’t get to see each other much, but he’s my brother, gotta love him” Aaron said truthfully “though I think he’s seen as the kind of troublemaker Hotchner, but that just means he didn’t go to law school” implying the bar was set a little high overall. Hearing that Spencer wondered about Aaron’s parents and what they were like, he hadn’t mentioned them even once and he considered the possibility that they were passed on or maybe estranged. Before he could touch on the subject however Aaron’s phone started buzzing and they exchanged a wary look wondering if it was a case and as he checked his phone a brow raised, it wasn’t Jennifer, but Strauss. “I’ll just take this” he said and gave another quick kiss to the genius’ cheek before getting up to go to his study for the call. 

“Hello Strauss” Aaron greeted flatly wondering why she might call him on a day off. 

Luckily immediately Strauss said “I won’t keep you long, Aaron and sorry to cut into your Saturday” and at that Aaron felt himself relax a little, no urgent summonings going to invade his weekend.“I’m just calling to let you know we’ve officially gotten the funding for another BAU member to join your team and I want you to start the recruitment process first thing Monday morning” she said smoothly and Aaron couldn’t say he was surprised, the move had been in the works for a while now. 

“I see, that’s no problem Strauss” he replied “did you have anyone in mind?” he tested, knowing it wasn’t like her to call out of hours unless pushing something she wanted. 

“Of course, I’ve left some files I’ve picked out on your desk to look over and we’ll open it up for applications too but I want a quick turnaround on this” she confirmed “and I’ll drop by your office on Monday for a little discussion” Strauss added and that had Hotch tense a little, curious what she wanted to poke her nose into. Hopefully their intentions aligned to pick a fair candidate though he was pretty sure he knew who, the more impressive her agents looked the more impressive she looked and the young genius in a prominent role in the BAU might be what she was hoping for. 

“Okay, got it, thanks for letting me know” Hotch replied politely, hearing giggling from the other room he smiled though no one could see and was looking forward to rejoining the pair so he quickly said a polite farewell and “see you Monday” before hanging up. Returning to the room he saw the source of the giggling and froze at the sweet image, Jack had stopped drawing and was instead laughing as Spencer kept asking “is this your card?” and each time the child would say no, shaking his head and Spencer pretending to be very confused at the magic trick not working. 

The young agent had mentioned his interest in magic, he was from Las Vegas after all, but this was his first time getting to see it. Hazel eyes glanced to him with a small smile but didn’t interrupt his trick and from the deck in his hand he pulled out another card and said “is this your card, Jack? It’s gotta be this time” he said sounding hopeful and again the little boy giggled and shook his head.

“No, are you sure you know magic, Spencer?” the boy asked cheekily.

Spencer made a pouty face and replied “I’m sure, it just doesn’t seem to work on you…” he said defeatedly and his shoulders sank as though terribly disappointed and Aaron didn’t dare interrupt the adorable scene. “Actually, now that I think about it, maybe that means you’re more magic than me” Spencer said wistfully like he was just realising the issue with the trick and the boy giggled at the genius’ silliness. 

“I’m not magic!” the boy protested still laughing.

“No? So…the card isn’t in your ear?” Spencer asked and the child instantly went to feel his ears, shaking his head.

“Nothing's in my ear!” Jack answered like it was obvious.

Spencer smiled then and said “sure it is” and reached over by the boy’s ear, and in such a smooth slight of hand movement even Aaron whom had been watching had to say the trick wasn’t obvious “see?” Spencer said and presented the card.

“That’s my card!” Jack said in amazement, taking hold of the card as Spencer gave it to him and the child ran straight to his father saying “did you see? did you see, daddy?” and showing off the miraculously appearing card.

Aaron chuckled and leaned down “I sure did, buddy” he chimed “hey remember Auntie Jess got you that magic kit for your birthday and we never got around to trying it? I’m sure Spencer would love to help since he knows so much” he suggested and the way Jack’s eyes lit up at the idea was heartwarming, not only that but it told the genius the call was not going to whisk the BAU chief away. 

Jack asked Spencer politely though enthusiastically if he would show him how to do the tricks in the box and he agreed, the boy zooming off to his room to fetch the box told that just how much fun the kid was having. “So not a case then?” Spencer said looking to his boyfriend, the older man quickly joining him on the sofa as he answered. 

“No case” he said with smile before adding “it was just Strauss, she says we can employ another BAU member and I’m on recruitment duty Monday” he informed and the good doctor didn’t seem surprised. 

Instead Reid just nodded and said “that makes sense” like it was to be expected. 

“What do you mean?”

“Strauss met with Gideon on Friday, he usually makes an excuse to avoid her” Spencer explained with a smile, used to the mentor suddenly disappearing conveniently missing the woman and Aaron chuckled at that too “she might have been asking for him to go back or for recommendations…maybe a reference, Gideon didn’t say it directly that it was me but…”

Aaron nodded, things adding up and he looked softly to the young man and decided to just say it “you know you're perfect for it right?”

“I’m not perfect fo-” Spencer started to say modestly but fumbled a little “I haven't applied yet” he said.

“Strauss said she picked out some agents herself for me to look over in the morning…I wouldn't be surprised if your file was there” Hotch added and for a long moment the pair just considered the upcoming situation, but neither felt negatively about it, Aaron the utmost professional and Spencer just nervous more than anything. 

“Well just treat it fairly” Spencer said “I shouldn't be advantaged or disadvantaged because of ‘us’…maybe get David Rossi to go over you're top picks too?” he suggested.

“Sounds good” Aaron replied and kissed his boyfriend’s temple as he heard Jack starting to return from his room “though there’s only one Dr Spencer Reid” he got in the compliment before the boy rushed to them and asked to play, the genius quick to help him understand how a lot of the tricks worked without even looking at all the instructions and able to make things a lot easier to learn. 

Part way through the fun, Jack trying to get a dice trick to work, the boy asked spontaneously “will you sleepover?” to Spencer making hazel eyes blink a little at the question, the boy clearly just wanting the young man to stick around since they were having so much fun and he found the genius endlessly fascinating. 

“If…if you want?” Reid replied shyly but flattered the child was so accepting of him. 

“Yeah,” Jack said leaving no room for doubt how much he wanted the young agent to stay and he turned to his father to ask “daddy, can Spencer sleepover? please?” 

Unable to stop the chuckle Aaron answered “of course,” how could he refuse such an eager request? and especially as he too didn’t quite want the genius to go either.

* * *

At night Jack was well tuckered out from the long day and he had his call with his mom saying goodnight but he still asked for a story to be read to him and Aaron was happy to, Jack made sure to ask Spencer to join them since ‘daddy does the best voices’ and given the story had a strong lion as the main character it made sense. Spencer forgot to listen to the actual story, he was too busy listening to the warmth and velvety tone of his boyfriend’s voice, so soothing to the soul and the contented feelings in his chest not about to stop any time soon. 

Eventually Jack started to nod off and his eyelids were heavy so Hotch closed the book and said “goodnight Jack.”

“Night daddy,” the boy murmured without opening his eyes as his father helped him settle for sleep followed by another tired “night Spencer…” making both grown ups smile.

“Night, Jack” Reid said softly as the adults lowered the lights and left the room as the boy slipped into slumber. Quietly they went to the living room and helped clear up and from the early start and constant chat and play they were pretty tired too so didn’t stay up too late. Eventually they went to Aaron’s bedroom and Spencer staying the night spontaneously without packed clothes wore his boxers to bed and one of Aaron’s t-shirts, it was baggy on him but it was comforting to wear.

For Aaron seeing Spencer wear his t-shirt he couldn’t help but think he looked that trademark mixture of adorable and sexy he often did without trying or realising it. They weren’t going to have sex tonight but he kept a mental note of just how much he liked the sight of such an outfit and hoped to see it again some time as they got into bed and snuggled up. 

A quiet calm fell over them, all cozy and just enjoying the company of the other “I’ve never seen Jack so enthusiastic, all day he’s been wanting to hang out with you…” Aaron said softly and kissed the head of wavy hair fondly. 

“It’s been fun…and a relief” Spencer admitted with a smile and nuzzled against his lover’s side and chest. 

“I mean it, he’s nuts about you” Aaron praised and he asked “I hope it wasn’t too intense, he asked you so many questions you must be run ragged…”

“Tired for sure” Spencer replied, as if for emphasis he couldn't contain the little yawn that followed and it made Aaron smile though he couldn't see it “but I liked it, we’re all big kids just bigger, who doesn’t want to spend their Saturday with brain teasers and talking about dragons? Dragons are cool” the genius said like it was the easiest truth and both chuckled, but Spencer meant it, he was particularly suited to the curious brain of the four year old and he too enjoyed being tested rather than finding it fatiguing. 

“So today hasn't scared you off?”

“Not at all…” 


	9. Pacifying the Vultures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer is given the position in the BAU and is confronted on the train home.

Spencer only stayed the Saturday night and the father and son had a Sunday to themselves, Aaron getting to hear how much Jack liked Spencer a few times on the Sunday too and it really couldn’t have gone better. First thing Monday morning Aaron dropped Jack off at Hayley’s on his way to work and he was sure she was going to be faced with a lot of Jack rambling about Spencer but it meant the boy was happy and signs were good. 

The moment Hotch got to his office the files were stacked on his desk as Strauss described and there it was, right on top - Dr Spencer Reid. Sighing to himself he felt a little weird assessing his boyfriend’s resume and file but at least they’d gotten to talk and Spencer knew it was happening, but still it felt a little cold given how warm they were to each other. Nevertheless he was a man of fairness and would keep his word to treat any candidates fairly. 

Starting to read the file Aaron felt like he couldn’t have invented such report to look like a ‘genius prodigy’ example if he tried, the idea of him having achieved all he has and he’s only 23? and while a lot of details weren't in his file he couldn’t help but consider the things he knew of the man personally, like how he accomplished so much while handling his mother’s care or being bullied at school, he was nothing short of remarkable. He was only torn away from his reading and note making when he heard a knock at his door and Strauss arrived for their little chat and he invited her to sit which she did.

Her eyes immediately looked to the file he was reading through and smiled to herself “I’m going to get straight to the point Aaron,” she said in the direct way Strauss often did “Dr Reid is a promising young agent and he is only just at the start of what I’m sure to be a long and fruitful career, to pigeon hole him straight into teaching just because he’s clearly an academic I believe would be a mistake. He doesn't have the field experience, but he can learn that, but he has a mind that this bureau would be foolish not to utilise to help people…don’t you agree?”

Hearing her praise of the young agent Hotch didn’t hesitate to say “I agree” though he continued to see why she didn’t just let him come to that conclusion himself “is there something on your mind, Strauss?”

She took a composing breath and nodded “alright…I’ve come to understand yourself and Dr Reid are somewhat of an item?” she addressed.

Finally onto the topic Aaron answered a simple confirmation of “…yes ma’am” not giving much more than she was, se hadn’t said how she came to know that fact but Hotch had a suspicion. 

“I noticed there was no need to pretend or ask how I knew that?” Erin put out there calmly.

“Agents talk, agents make connections,” Aaron answered, knowing all it would take is one agent overhearing a discussion with the team for it to go around, or if any call Aaron had with Rossi on the topic was while the older man was in Strauss’ company. Deciding to let her know just how much he knew about her fraternising too, an equal playing field so to speak, he said “I wouldn’t be surprised if you picked it up from Dave Rossi…out of hours” and that was met with a moment of silence, she hadn’t expected him to know that necessarily.

“…hmm….” she said to herself, mulling over her thoughts before making clear “I’m not here to throw a spanner into any works, professional or personal,” and at least that was something “but Dr Reid…he’s particularly promising as an agent for this unit…and I want to make sure no personal matters would interfere with his professional progression...and I am not making any accusations Aaron, but people will talk…he’s very _young_ …” she started to imply something a little unsavoury and so Hotch responded directly. 

“What’s your point?”

“It may come across as though…his acceptance into the BAU is _conditional_ …or-”

Not tolerating that line of thinking for a moment Hotch spoke “are you implying I found out about Spencer’s profiling skills and interest in the BAU and am trading career progress for sex?” the blunt question putting the older woman on the spot. 

“I’m implying nothing,” she defended “I'm saying it’s how people _talk_.”

“ _Your_ people talk,” Aaron replied firmly “the higher ups and peers who are having all the affairs but just cover it up? the scandals that get swept under the rug? there’s nothing untoward happening between myself and Dr Reid. I care for him deeply and it has zero connection to work. if he were to join the team you could expect absolute professionalism” he said assertively and his honesty came through though Strauss was still a little wary.

“I would like to believe you…but just be aware that should there come a time where Dr Reid is active in your unit there may be a call to observe your interactions in the field, most likely I could make it myself whom observes” she said and Aaron didn’t like it but it was the lesser of many evils he supposed, Strauss isn’t the devil but she’s no walk in the park either and she was always handling politics like a juggling act. 

“Whatever you need to do to pacify the vultures, Erin…” Aaron sighed “is that all?”

“…for now” Strauss said and stood to make her leave, the moment the door closed Hotch rubbed his temple, the woman was quite the headache inducer but it wasn’t as harmful as it could have been. Instead of dwelling on it he continued with the file reading and much like peaking too early every resume that followed felt a bit like a waste of time given the first one he read through. 

* * *

A few days later and applications added to the pile on top of the highlighted resumes Hotch managed to, rather than little it down to five, select four that managed to not seem so obviously behind the genius when it came to whom might be selected that he could present them with Rossi for a look over too. the older man was suspicious as to why he was being asked to go over the resumes and Hotch had to explain.

With an interest suddenly in reading through the paperwork Rossi was quick to get to work on it, the moment the older man as told that Aaron’s boyfriend was in the list and that’s why Hotch needed a second opinion the nosey man was eager to help. It was Friday afternoon when Rossi walked into Aaron’s office having looked through everything and he didn’t even knock, Dave just waltzed in and took a seat, looking in some disbelief towards the chief. 

“You told me…” Rossi said trying to find the words, having just read the genius’ file he no doubt felt a little overloaded with information “young doctor, 23 years old teacher with three PhDs in Mathematics, Chemistry and Engineering, eidetic memory and works with Gideon…you did _not_ tell me they were from _CalTech_ , he has an IQ of _187_ , speaks _multiple_ languages, can read _20,000_ words per minute, specialises in statistics _and_ geographical profiling, has BAs in Psychology _and_ Sociology and to top it all off the file had some of his reports, _holy crap_ Aaron, hire the kid right _now_.”

“Simmer down” Aaron said to ground the older man and his teammate did not stop looking at the chief like he was being pranked somehow, that a resume like that had to be fictitious, but not, it was serious and Aaron’s neutral tone helped things. “I consider him to be our top candidate, I just wanted to make absolutely sure a-”

“You sure yet? Get that genius on the team!” Rossi interrupted “it’s not favouritism with a file like _that_!”

Aaron rolled his eyes but started to smile, he guessed that was it, position filled, did he even need to bother with an interview as a formality? He decided not, if Spencer wanted to join it was his choice and Aaron quickly realised that also meant that Spencer would be meeting the team. That also meant that the team would be meeting Spencer, he was sure they’d like him, the genius to sweet not to like, but it would be an adjustment to say the least.

* * *

By the end of the day and calling both Strauss and Spencer to go over his decision, they decided for Spencer to start part way through the next week, no point in wasting time and actually Gideon also apparently volunteered to Strauss to assist on a few cases on his teaching salary which Strauss fully accepted as a great idea. Given the shovel talk Aaron had received from the man however he was a little tense hoping Gideon wouldn’t be so challenging on the cases or protective of Reid but he had to look at it was a good thing and all the help counts. 

With everything put in place Aaron called a team meeting in the conference room and all agents bustled in, some wondered if there was a case or some scary news from management but instead they saw Rossi grinning from his seat and Hotch standing without any urgency which helped. They took their seats and it was Morgan to voice “okay Hotch, what’s the news?”

Letting out a small breath Aaron steeled himself for the moment of no return and said “we are getting a new team member” and while Rossi and Emily weren’t surprised by that, Emily often kept in the loop when it came to bigger decisions about the team it was the rest who looked to each other interpreting the news. Immediately Garcia started to ramble, a little scared of change but also hoping they were nice and then going on plenty more rambles, JJ just thoroughly curious and hoping the decision was Hotch’s to make and not some order and nudge from upstairs and Derek was actually on board for some extra staffing though the mystery was getting him. 

“So you got someone in mind?” he pressed.

“I hired him this afternoon and he’ll be starting with us Wednesday next week…there’s more to it then that however” he did his best to soften the news but Rossi’s smirk was making it difficult. “Our new member is Dr Spencer Reid, the qualifications are more than significant to the work we do and I’m sure he’ll have plenty to contribute…both myself and Dave looked over the applicants and he was head and shoulders above the others” he clarified that this wasn’t a ‘personal’ decision as much as possible when he carried on “however it is important for you all to be aware that Dr Reid and I are seeing each other.”

“Whoa, this is the boyfriend?” Emily said in surprise but slowly a smile curling at her lips excitedly, when Aaron nodded her jaw dropped a little and she chimed “oh this is too good” like if she had pop corn just then she’s be munching it the whole thing was so entertaining. 

“Does Strauss know?” Morgan asked next and again Hotch nodded.

“Yes and she also considered him to be our top candidate, she put his file on my desk personally” he explained and looks were exchanged in some intrigue.

“He’s gotta be something then” Morgan mused and JJ was quick to follow up with a grin, eventually getting over the shock “we get a newbie _and_ Hotch’s boyfriend?” and the whole team were so interested all of a sudden, questions sparking and trying to fill in big blanks of their information. While Aaron answered a few of the practical he wasn’t about to go rambling about how amazing his boyfriend was like some lovesick teenager, however much he wanted to and settled on the words “you just have to wait until you meet him…”

Despite being grown adults and FBI agents for that matter it didn’t stop Penelope and JJ starting to sing “Hotch and Reid sitting in a tree…” earning giggles and even Hotch had to let it slide.

* * *

“Congratulations on getting the job” Aaron smirked as he raised a glass to his date, however silly it might be given he was the boss who hired him but the genius had earned it regardless, hell if Aaron had decided on anyone else he'd have to get his head examined and have to answer to Strauss too. Spencer smiled from the other side of the table, the pair had gone to a fancy little restaurant to celebrate the new position and the genius smiled at his boyfriend, glad that so far however much they felt for each other the work side of things seemed to be handled with care.

“Thanks…I think the guy who hired me might have been a little sweet on me” Spencer said cheekily.

“Is that so?” Aaron played along “you realise he might be wanting to sleep with you” he said as if it was any sort of warning and both laughed.

“Hmm” the genius said as though he had to genuinely consider the possibility “you know I might just let him, he’s real handsome” he said with a giggle and both were having quite a relaxed time though Spencer was a little nervous about the new job though nowhere near as badly as when meeting Jack. “How did the team take the news of getting a new member?”

“Great, Garcia’s always a bit wary of change but since they realised just who you were, both dating me and being Gideon’s protege I think they’re rather curious” Aaron answered with a fond smile, “…besides Dave helped look over the candidates and I think he’s been voicing his excitement about adding you to the team.”

“ _The_ David Rossi is excited about _me_ joining the team?” Spencer said in some disbelief but was very flattered.

“Yeah, your resume is unreal especially for your age, then add onto that all the skills in profiling that would contribute to the team and not just add more of the same…its a great fit” Hotch said sincerely and the genius felt a little more excited then about meeting the team.

“You gonna help me with the refresher at the gun range? I need the practice, I’ve booked in on Monday after classes but I'm just gonna be shooting without getting better if I’m on my own.”

“Of course, so long as I don’t have a case” Hotch said “and don't stress it too much, you'll also still be learning in the field too so don’t get too focused on it. We’ve got plenty of agents who know how to shoot, we don’t all have a 187 IQ and three PhDs” Aaron smirked praising his lover before adding some comfort “that’ll be way more helpful than any gun you hopefully don’t have to reach for that often.” 

That seemed to ease his nerves a little bit and flashed a smile “okay, thanks Aaron” before asking “how’s Jack getting on?”

“He hasn’t shut up about meeting you,” Hotch said, not sure if he was feeling a swell of pride for his son or Spencer for that, maybe both of them “he keeps practicing magic tricks too so expect a lot of fumbling and obvious card tricks next time.”

“I look forward to it” Spencer grinned, genuinely happy to nurture the interest in the boy and the idea of inspiring such talk and effort was probably more flattering than the job promotion.

Just then Aaron’s phone started to buzz and Spencer could see the sigh about to happen before it actually did, a small smile didn’t leave the genius however, he really didn’t mind the sudden being called away on cases but he understood it wasn’t the case for everyone. He hadn’t asked a whole lot about Aaron’s divorce but it was pretty obvious the two were incompatible on that particular topic, and the more pressure there was on the topic the more something had to give. For some work is what you ‘do’, but Aaron went into it after being a lawyer because it was the way to exercise who he really was and do the good in the world he most wanted - it _is_ part of him. And Spencer wondered if it was maybe part of him too, to go out to save lives with profiling just made sense to him. 

Aaron smiled apologetically, perhaps out of habit more than anything else, as he went to take the call but come next week there would be no need as both would be heading off when a call came in together. It was quick and when Aaron returned he said “got a case, local one.” Hotch was still getting used to the understanding and not grudged or disappointed expression each time, it wasn't that they didn’t want to have their date but both held the same priorities and if the good doctor was being called away he’d have the same mentality as Aaron. “Just think, from Wednesday when we get a call we’ll be heading out together” he smiled. 

“And I look forward to that too” Spencer smiled and the couple shared a parting kiss “stay safe” he added fondly as their date came to an end.

* * *

Seated on the train home the young agent read his book as he waited for his stop, the train was pretty empty and he was trying to keep his mind from wandering to either his gun practice which he never looked forward to or any niggling anxieties around meeting the team. He was way more excited than nervous at least, if he could handle Gideon he was pretty sure he’d do alright with the team of from what he heard very nice people. 

He was taken from his little world of reading when he heard a loud series of voices, a group of drunk men entering the carriage and clearly having been out to a bar to watch a sports game if the aggressive complaints and debates of game play were anything to go by. Although his reading stalled he didn’t pay them any mind and hoped they would settle down though he was pretty sure they’d stay in the carriage given it was rather empty with only a few other people around.

Reid wouldn’t have looked up except that the group of three walked down the aisle and one of them stopped next to him, leaning his weight against the seat for balance and said “Heyyyy…you’re that uhh….” the man trying to recall the name “Sch-pensher?” he slurred ‘Spencer’ and hazel eyes peered up to see none other than Damien, the man he’d met watching Jack’s soccer game.

“Damien” Spencer acknowledged politely and he hoped the man would move on and stick to his friends but instead the drunk man swayed a little as the train moved from the stop before asking “no Aaron?”

“Working” Spencer answered honestly and neutrally, not exactly wanting to strike up a conversation with him and his inebriated friends. Especially as he saw one take a seat and slouch, still having a conversation about the game loudly and playing with his lighter, putting his feet up rudely while the other, a much bigger angrier looking man was swearing over the outcome of the game and overall being unpleasant. Maybe they were nicer when not drinking? Regardless the quicker they moved on the better. 

“Oh…good luck with that,” Damien laughed, full on leaning his elbow on the back of Spencer’s headrest and getting a little close for comfort but he didn't seem aggressive, just hammered and certainly loose lipped as he tactlessly blurted “you know that’s why he got divorced right?” not actively trying to be inappropriate but without the ability to gage things at the moment “work, work, work” he murmured.

It was then that his friend, the big pissed off looking one stumbled over, even more sloshed than Damien with a red face and slurring incoherently but eventually Spencer managed to just make out “hoo ish yurr pal, eh?” as in 'who is your friend?'

Immediately Damien went from the sort-of-friendly-though-drunk hello to pulling away a little, like he suddenly realised something and said a blurry “nev-rrminndh” for some reason he was avoiding saying who Spencer was exactly. The friend however just repeated himself annoyingly over and over and Spencer tried to be as unnoticeable as possible though it didn’t help when Damien caved and eventually managed to explain a slurred version of ‘Ewan’s classmate’s dad’s boyfriend.’

It was then the stranger boldly stepped closer to Spencer, eyeing him up and down and Spencer felt his hairs stand on end, it wasn’t a friendly stare, and he continued to remain polite though he didn't engage with the man. “Can toh-tleey tell…” the stranger got out though it was hard to hear “totalll _queer_ ” he got out a little more clearly though his volume and tone was not appreciated. Those vague eyes also continued to look over him judgementally, taking in the lithe form and smart clothes, his words implying his appearance meant he was gay, firstly he was factually bisexual, and secondly of course the concept was beyond stupid.

Spencer tried to ignore them, though he didn't know this man, Damien was the only one with anything to answer for in the local community to him and probably wouldn't want to face the wrath of Aaron Hotchner either. True enough Damien was trying to tell him to ‘leave it’ but didn’t call his friend ‘wrong’, probably afraid of the guy at least like this but his friend didn’t listen.

Hazel eyes used the two men’s back and forth as an excuse to try and get back to reading but then as though he was back in high school surrounded by bullies the guy snatched the book, a protest of “ _hey_ ,” escaping in an appalled manner. Finally giving the men his full attention Spencer also noticed others on the train trying to also shrink into their seats and not get noticed either, a woman pretending to be engrossed in her paper and an older couple staying quiet. He couldn't blame them really.

“Come and get it” the drunk man said and Spencer couldn’t contain the small sigh of exasperation, grown ass men acting like children and playground bullies at that, Spencer felt frustration at still not being away from them completely and started to feel right back in high school.

“Sir, just hand it back a-”

“Oo ‘sir’” the man teased, making fun of the formal tone before repeating “queer” as a slur before fully turning into a playground bully as he held the book he’d stolen by the window, threatening to drop it in some drunken stupor that somehow found the juvenile annoyance entertaining.

“Are you serious?” Spencer said tiredly, eyes going between the moron and Damien, their other friend was just sleepy drunk and giggling from his chair so at least he wasn’t an active bother but Damien was just meekly telling his friend to ‘knock it off’ and the bigger guy wasn’t even hearing him. The book was a copy of War and Peace, ironically, but he had no particular attachment to the book itself but it was a little disheartening to be thrown into the immature bullying yet again. Rather than fuel the man’s teasing ability he just sighed and sat back down, not caring if he dropped the book and the man looked disappointed, like there was no fun without misery.

“Aww, c’monnnn….jusst a lil fffun!” he said and stumbled over, nearly falling on top of Spencer as the train moved but caught himself just, “jusss say tha magic word….annnh you can ged it bhack!” his words barely able to be made out and the man’s tone implying he was treating the young agent like a child. Again Spencer didn’t care what happened to the book and just looked out the train window hoping the idiot would get bored and move on, no such luck as he said “you ignerrrringh meee?”

And as he got closer, obnoxiously in Reid’s personal space the genius actively had to look away, “you gonnah cry you lil _gay bhoi_?” he mocked. Spencer wasn't crying but his big eyes and ignoring expression might have looked like he was fighting it, the stranger continued to get into his space so the genius said as firmly as he could though his nerves weren't completely hidden.

“If you want to grow up and hand me my property, good for you, if not, please just leave me alone” Spencer asserted and continued to not look him in the eye, not wanting to encourage him.

He could feel those eyes looking him over again, measuring him up “you gotts some stonezz talkin’ to mee like dhat…you even l-legal? total ba-by face…”

Having enough of the looming drunk Spencer stood up to go to another carriage, leaving the book and hopefully the drunk morons behind too but once he took a few steps the burly hand yanked at his upper arm, the force of it on the moving train making him yelp slightly but he managed to not fall down though fear did rise in his chest suddenly. The sudden grab threatening and it reminded him of times gone by that didn’t end well. Damien seeing his friend actually lay a hand on the genius finally protested “dude, nnnott cool, jussst leave it” but again was not listened to.

The grip on his arm remained, the squeeze hurt and Spencer turned to look at him, the guys’s height intimidating standing this close and he became a little shaky. “You some lil _boy toy_ , ehh? Dhat how you buy your fancshy stuff…” he insulted, referencing perhaps that Spencer had a liking for the older fashioned things such as his waist coat and watch, to him that was ‘fancy’ and he couldn't exactly tell Spencer was a lover of antiques exactly but he might ‘look’ like he did.

“Just leave me a-alone” Spencer stuttered at the end, his fear creeping in though he had willed it away so hard, the hand on his arm reminded him too much of being attacked before, anxieties flaring up and getting jittery, he just wanted the stranger to stop and leave him alone, he wanted to be home, he wanted Aaron. As the guy about to insult him again and the squeeze on his arm started to feel like it could bruise it was so tight Spencer said more firmly, summoning a courage that was hard to do “get your hand off me or I’ll arrest you for assaulting an FBI agent.” 

The man just stared at him vacantly for a long moment, but he didn’t let go or react all that much, instead after letting the sentence settle in his peanut of a brain he burst out laughing, a full on ugly, spitting and red faced laugh at the young agent’s expense. “ _Pipsqueak_ like you…a pfff- _fed_?“ and he was laughing his head off at the mere idea, during this Damien this time was trying to guide his friend away, apologising in his expression but not about to fully stand up to his friend. It didn’t work, instead he yanked Spencer’s arm again and he stumbled a little before managing to balance and avoid falling as the drunk said “fuckin’ _liar_ , dhat’s a good one though!” like it was some big joke.

Not sure what else he could say, Spencer didn’t have his gun with him, it was out of hours and he’d been on a date for goodness sake, and he didn’t necessarily think the man would hurt him more than the slight rough up as he currently was, something about him told him so though he hadn't actively profiled him much. Trying to leave again but the grip stayed, the force definitely bruising this time and he saw the elderly gentleman as part of the couple bystanders to this start to feel like he needed to intervene and the genius didn’t want that. 

Biting his lip to not yelp but he wanted to he got out “I said l-let go” but the muddling of words due to nerves came through. 

“L-l-let g-g-g-g-o” the stranger mocked, over exaggerating the small stutter and laughing.

Spencer at least knew then his stop was soon and his body language naturally wanted to start shrinking, something passive like scared prey - but he was about to be in the BAU, he was better than this, deserved better than what this imbecile was doing to him! Rather than averting his gaze this time hazel eyes looked over the man, much like how he had done to Spencer and it seemed to puzzle the drunkard for a moment, until the genius had made an assessment, profiling him.

“You’re marriage is crumbling and has been for some time” Spencer said, sounding rather out of the blue especially to a stranger but it was pretty clear.

The man’s brows furrowed, he wasn't good and mad yet but he didn’t like the change in topic “who dhe _fuck_ do you thin-“ he started and his shoulders tensed, fist clenching as though he might hit him and Spencer made himself suppress the scared whimper to continue.

“You fiddled with your wedding ring, it’s loose and the tan lines, like bands on your skin have moved, I th-think you've been taking it off and putting it on for weeks at a time” Reid said and the guy looked stunned, a bit puzzled but undoubtedly not liking what he was hearing - because it was true. “It’s like you argue, breakup, give it another chance and it starts over again…”

The man stepped closer and still in his hold Spencer couldn't retreat, big doe eyes looking up to the bully who’s jaw was clenched and fist tensing “you won't actually hit me,” Spencer said and the glare made him question it for only a second “you know if you get dragged home by the police you’re done, one last straw for your wife…” 

If glares could kill, “shut the fuck up, y-”

“And that’s why you took an interest,” Reid interjected, loud enough that everyone could hear him quickly, the public embarrassment more than defusing the man’s rage “punching down, you only asked Damien about me when you heard him mention my boyfriend’s previous marriage and divorce…how do you cover up insecurities? focus on and make them someone else’s insecurities” Spencer called out and the man was looking between the scared but still brave hazel eyes and to his friends, Damien looking sheepish and their other friend had stopped giggling. “Now… _let go_ of my arm.” 

The grip stayed for a long moment, reluctant to be defeated and called out so humiliatingly before finally letting go and Spencer raised an hand to soothe where he was sure a bruise would be “and my book?” Spencer added, because why the hell not.

Seeing the stranger was about to throw another insult Spencer beat him to it with “your wife thinks you're a bully, I wonder why…but it’s the gambling that’s ruining it,” he added and the man looked downright angry but also miserable “before you rudely spoke to me that’s why you were so loudly mad at players - they lost you money, and you were trying not to show the stress and how directly it might affect your marriage but you covered it with drinking…and the more hammered you get the more you realise you're gonna argue about something anyway…”

The man went from antagonistic to in denial pretty quick, but his sudden submissiveness was the most telling thing about him, what Spencer had said got to him and he didn’t feel like ‘just playing or kidding around’ any more. “You’re outta your mind” the man said pointedly through the slur, trying to pretend none of it was true but it was pretty obvious and his friends looked so awkward. 

“My book?” was all Spencer repeated, sounding far more confident than he felt and he realised this stop was coming up. Despite being stood close the guy tossed the book at him, he just barely managed to catch it as the drunkard mumbled “little bitch” under his breath. Without letting himself dwell on it too much, in fact, making himself hold the pointed stare against the older man the genius eventually got to make his way off the train and away from the sorry group of men. He warily watched the train to make sure they didn't get off too and he felt safer seeing them zoom off into the night to possibly angry wives. 

It was only then that the effects of what just happened really caught up to him and he felt suddenly very shaky, he felt like crying a little but more at frustration and a bit of fright rather than anything sad. How the guy clenched his fist, it directly reminded him of the time he ended up in the emergency room, of beatings in school and so on. Flashes of those memories making its way into his mind and it had been a while since he’d thought about them, Aaron had sort of chased them all away by his comforting company and bringing good, happy moments into his life. 

He eventually made it home, he got in and locked the door behind him, suddenly tired but wearing off adrenaline could do that to someone. He should probably tell Aaron what happened, especially as he didn’t know how honest that Damien guy was going to be when he got home, and he wanted to hear his calming voice but didn’t want to worry him or interrupt the case. He also, like how he stood up for himself back there, needed to not solely rely on Aaron to calm his nerves. He’d gotten through it. No gun, no back up, no Gideon, no Aaron. On his own. He profiled his way out of it!

He was shaky for a while before managing to calm at least a little, he managed to not cry though he'd gotten close a couple of times and he got to the point that he was dressed for bed and getting under the covers. He had a pretty gnarly looking bruise on his arm from where the stranger had pressed too hard and it stung to the touch but he'd get over it, he just hoped it would fade soon since it wasn't pretty and he didn't want Aaron to worry. It was only once in bed that he was reminded of Aaron's shirt that was left there, the sweet reminder of his caring boyfriend and as easily as the thought occurred to him that it would make him feel better he also was calmed to the point that he started to fall asleep so easily and could get one day closer to being a BAU agent. 


	10. The Happy Moonlit Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys say 'I love you.'

Spencer lay half asleep Sunday morning having a lie in, even though the confrontation on the train had been on Friday and all had went well it still bothered him and then he would remind himself he had nothing to fear but then he would be bothered by the fact he was still bothered! At first he thought it was because of the seemingly endless line of bullies in his life and how disheartening that reality might be but that wasn’t news and studying serial killers there were even darker truths he accepted healthily. But at least he’d gotten through it, he’d stood up for himself and put that guy in his place, he didn’t shrink or cower which was saying something since that guy was huge and very angry looking.

He was still trying to work out why it bothered him, it wasn’t like he didn’t get bullied a lot, he’d been made fun of or had aggression thrown his way before for being scrawny, a genius, being called weird or awkward, his orientation and sex, his lack of social cue reading and so on. He was used to it, it was a part of the world he’d accepted long ago…so…what changed? Maybe it wasn’t the bullies that changed actually…maybe it was him? 

Before he could sleepily start to ponder that thought he heard his phone going off on the nightstand and the genius stayed bundled up in the covers as he reached over for it, having to shimmy over a fair bit and ending up partially lying on Aaron’s shirt as he did so which still hadn’t left his bed. As though to match the comforts the shirt brought to the genius he saw it was his boyfriend calling and an instant smile spread over his face. Answering he was quick to say “hey, Aaron” his voice early still sleepy but a bit positive. 

“Hey, just thought I’d check in,” Aaron said “hope I didn’t wake you” and when the genius informed him he was just having a lazy Sunday he replied “good for you, I’m in a ‘just got to wait until the unsub makes a move’ scenario.”

“I see, I hope it’s not a violent move you're having to wait for” Spencer said, knowing sometimes there came no other choice but to wait for the criminal to make a mistake or develop the situation and unfortunately that could sometimes be more bodies. 

“Thankfully not, we’ve baited the guy, total narcissist, so we have to wait for him to contact the press, profile says he’ll do it but just got to wait until he does…” Aaron answered and that made the genius smile, glad at least there was positive progress in the case and if they felt closer to catching the guy not only did that make the world a safer place but it also meant the closer Aaron was to seeing him again. Then Aaron brought up something unexpected “I also wanted to ask, I got a strange text from Damien…the parents of one of Jack’s classmates?” he said to clarify and Spencer’s expression fell slightly.

He hadn’t decided if he was going to tell Aaron what happened, he certainly didn’t want the man to worry about him or seem weak given the job he’d be entering into but at least in their personal lives he did find Aaron comforting so he said “yeah, we had a little run in on the train” the doctor said keeping it vague “what did he say?”

“Only that he was very sorry for what happened, he apologised for his friend’s behaviour and when I asked him what he was talking about he said to ask you?” hearing that hazel eyes closed realising he would just have to say it, though as he rested his eyes his other senses heightened and the sound of Aaron over the phone tied with the softness and subtle scent of the shirt under him helped his nerves not flare up too much as he spoke.

“Well…Damian and a couple friends were clearly drunk” he started “and Damien recognised me on the train and he wasn’t bad really but his friend…”

Spencer could practically feel an almost alpha energy over the phone, Aaron hearing the shift in tone from the earlier parts of their call and wondering what might have happened and hoping his lover was alright, like maybe the story was just a little awkward or embarrassing and not harmful. “What did his friend do?” Aaron asked, clearly not amused by whomever the man had been and by extension Damien already.

The hope of just some silly misunderstanding was out the window when Spencer elaborated “he was acting like a schoolyard bully” the genius sighed, “he stole the book I was reading, called me names, h-”

“What kind of names?” Aaron cut him off, he hadn’t meant to but the genius could hear the bubbling anger and unease in the older man, feeling protective over him. 

“I’m fine really” he tried to ease the tension but after a long pause he knew Aaron really wanted to know so he answered “I just…he called me ‘queer’ like it was something wrong, ‘gay boy’ and ‘pipsqueak’…a ‘boy toy’…” 

There was a long moment of quiet as Aaron was clearly fighting the urge to just get mad about the men, to call up Damien and put him in his place or to ask the identity of the friend, but he eventually settled on an appropriate response “are you alright, did he hurt you?”

“I’m f-fine…” Spencer repeated but mentally got annoyed that he stuttered and Aaron obviously would have heard the stress in his voice, between the lingering feeling in his chest from the night and the pretty nasty looking bruise that Aaron would see on his return he explained “h-he just…he had a grip on my arm is all, there’s a bruise but that’s all.”

“‘That’s all’?” Aaron replied implying it wasn’t something to just shrug off, care in his voice through the anger at someone causing any pain or mark on the genius “that’s assault, he had no right to lay a hand on you and…you know the things he said…they’re just nonsense he made up to try and get to you, right?” Hotch added, his tone finding a real softness at the more emotional side of the incident “you’re certainly not some ‘boy toy’ or anything of the sort.” 

That made Spencer find his smile again, “I know…honestly, I just…” again he was about to say he was ‘fine’ but stopped himself, he wasn’t totally ‘fine’ and there was no point in pretending such “actually…as far as what happened on the train, I’m good, really” he said and the sincerity came though though there was clearly more to follow “but I’d be lying if I said…it didn’t bother me…” Spencer admitted “not…not the incident itself…I just…I don’t know” he rambled and lost any train of thought and he felt a little upset, a frustration at being so ‘bothered’ by it.

“I don’t understand, Spencer” Aaron said “you say you’re fine with what happened…but you’re not?”

“It’s hard to explain” Spencer sighed keeping the pang in his chest from showing in his voice as best he could “don’t worry about it.”

“Spencer, you can’t just ignore it if it’s bothering you” Hotch said kindly, “we can talk about it now if you feel you can, or would you rather we do it when the case is done?”

Quick to answer “after the case” he realised it might sound like he was avoiding his problems “I…I just feel better when you're around is all…I’m not sure what’s bothering me about it so it’s hard to put into words.”

Hotch from the other end thought that over and said “alright, the moment this is done we’re talking about it…why didn't you tell me sooner? I wouldn't have minded, the case doesn't take up every single second of the day…if it’s important I want you to feel like you can call me no matter what.“

A warm feeling made its way into Spencer’s soul hearing that, his boyfriend wanting to let him know he needn’t feel embarrassed or isolated just because he was on a case “I was just tired and wanted to sleep, adrenaline had worn off,” Spencer explained a little more practically “but I also was telling myself it was just a stupid incident that I had handled…and I _did_ handle it on my own…” he informed making sure Aaron knew that he hadn’t just curled up and taken all the crap sent his way “thanks for letting me know I can call anytime…but…part of me just wanted to forget it happened is all”

“Okay…but if it’s still getting to you we need to talk about it” Hotch replied, his voice much calmer and more sympathetic this time, focusing more on Spencer’s confusion over the happening “but it can wait and we’ll not stress it out too much, alright?”

“Alright” Spencer agreed with a smile, “and please don’t go on a manhunt for the guy, he was a depressed drunk I don’t think he’s quite equipped to handle the wrath of SSA Aaron Hotchner” Spencer managed to giggle by the end of it, imagining how absolutely terrified the guy would be to be stared down by the older agent. 

Reluctantly Aaron said “fine…” before adding with a smirk that could somehow be heard in his tone “but if he doesn't want to go up against me he needs to not mess with my genius.”

“ _Your_ genius?”Spencer questioned with a sudden blush heating his cheeks, the affectionate yet slight claiming nature to it had him slightly bashful by the intensity but he didn't shy away from it as Aaron seemed about to explain he hadn’t meant anything possessive by it, he blocked him off by speaking “I like the sound of that”  with a cheeky glint and it seemed to help ease both their nerves at least a little.

* * *

As the call eventually came to an end Aaron pocketed the cell and sighed to himself, while they’d managed to lighten things somewhat and they’d agreed to discuss things further in a safer, more comfortable environment for his lover to go over what was getting to him, but here was still a pang in his chest at the mere thought at what happened. He wanted to be there with Spencer, he knew the young agent was alright bar a bruise but he felt an anger at whoever tried to hurt him. But the very idea that Spencer on his way home from their interrupted date which had been so happy and smiley was suddenly made into something unsafe or undeservedly cruel caused a bubbling anger in his chest, a protective need to be with the genius or put the bastard in his place.

How pathetic of anyone to hurt Spencer, of all people, the kindest soul he knew! It didn’t help that the news was a surprise too, Spencer being out of the field and just heading home like he always did, and while the thoughts of ‘should I have given him a lift home first?’ or the like to place blame on himself filled his mind he tried to squash the illogical voice. Spencer wasn’t some damsel in distress, however adorable and sweet he was and innocent in many ways, but he was his own person, strong and resilient around things life threw his way. He didn’t need ‘defending’ 24/7 from drunk morons. 

But he still felt the _need_ to hold his lover in his arms, the _need_ to put Daniel’s friend in his place for so much a touching a hair on that brilliant head of his, and it only reminded him that he would have to see Spencer in the field and be objective over his _teammate’s_ position rather than his _boyfriend._ It would be a tough line to toe the more he faced it, he couldn't be completely cold however, he’d be lying to himself or force an impossible way to behave upon both of them. They would have to be honest with themselves and make every effort to be fair and clear minded, that was important to both of them, but there was a reasonable limit on what could happen. They were only human after all, no matter how extreme the young agent’s genius could seem or how stoic Hotch could be. 

He toyed with the idea of giving Daniel a piece of his mind but the man had called to apologise already and Spencer asked him not to go on a ‘man hunt’ which he decided to respect, but he sure as hell didn’t have to like it. Next time he happened to see the man, likely around kid’s classes or activities he was definitely getting a famously terrifying Hotchner glare. But most of all Aaron would just have to live with the pang in his chest until he could hold the genius yet again and in the meantime distract himself with the case.

* * *

The case was solved by that evening and Aaron was quick to tell Spencer and they decided that they would have a quiet night in at Hotch’s place though at least the case had been successful and lives saved though both knew they’d be going over the incident on the train and they were only a few days away from Spencer’s first day with the BAU. Having finished a case Aaron had time to get home and showered, dressed in jeans and t-shirt but his hair still wet when Spencer arrived at his door.

The genius flashed a smile, largely just glad to see Aaron and always feeling better in his presence and the vision seemed to inspire something similar in the older man, for a moment the stresses of the last couple of days forgotten and Aaron too gave a warm smile before sharing a brief kiss hello. They were quick to make their way to the living room and settle on the sofa, being so late in the day they’d eaten and were just spending time together. 

The place was cozy, lamps on rather than ceiling lights in a calm ambiance and there was a kind of intensity between them as Aaron’s strong arms pulled him into an embrace, a hand trailing up to wavy locks and stealing a kiss, it was innocent but weighted by something indescribable. Both individually dealing with just how much they cared for the other, the feelings tight in the chest and making the world more vivid to each other and for Aaron he knew full well what it was - he wasn’t just ‘falling hard’ anymore - he’d ‘fallen.’ It could be too soon to tell his lover, he didn’t know how Spencer would take it but it was there, very real and in great abundance.

For Spencer it was all so new, in many ways he felt confused and from a biological standpoint almost like he was dying - the increased heart rate sometimes like it might burst out of his chest, or the times he swore he could watch Aaron and his heart stand still for impossible lengths of time, how weak to the core he might feel, his hands jittery, the pang at the mere thought of him, his focus stolen yet mind alive with vibrant aches about the man. The genius didn’t fear the overwhelming sensations however, the very man that caused them made him also feel terribly, unreasonably safe. In his subconscious it screamed the answer, simply that he was obviously ‘in love’ while his conscious found the feelings to powerful they were a million miles away from something as ordinary or practical as language. 

The light scent of Hotch’s aftershave was soothing as the younger melted into the hold and felt a weariness lift in his soul, the feel of being wrapped in Hotch’s arms so damn good. When they parted, a tingling over lips from the contact, the pair looked to each other but didn’t move from their embrace. Spencer thought to ask about how the case went but he knew that from the call earlier, partially wanting to distract from what he was sure would come up and true enough Aaron brought it up, not with words but in gesture. Spencer was wearing a short sleeved shirt and sweater vest and the older man’s hand gently pulled down the baggy woollen garment over his shoulder and then lifted up part of his sleeve, Spencer knowing what he was looking for and let him - revealing the bruise. 

When Aaron’s dark eyes looked over the angry looking blacks and purples of the usually immaculate skin, evidence of the hand that was laid on him he felt two extremes, an anger and a softness battling with each other. “Does it hurt?” Aaron asked, his voice low and tone unreadable and he eventually tore his gaze away from the bruise to those big hazel eyes, the genius shaking his head.

“Not really…it stung at first but now it’s only if I press it…” Spencer answered honestly and hearing that Aaron let his fingers trail feather lightly over the marred flesh tenderly being sure not to cause him any pain. “The bruise itself isn’t a big deal” he answered “I’m fine…actually….I used profiling to get out of it” Spencer said with a small smile and for the first time since he arrived conversation felt like its normal self, at least a little.

“Really?” Aaron asked, his tone asking for more of the details. 

With a slight blush the genius said “y-yeah…I…I knew he was unlikely to be actively violent, brutish maybe but not dangerous, I disarmed him by talking about his failing marriage and his drinking as well as gambling problems…” 

The smile that found its way onto the older agent’s face was nothing short of proud and so warm it made Spencer’s heart skip a beat, “see now what I mean by ‘the profile is our best weapon’?” he asked rhetorically and smiles widened a little “but still…I’m sorry that happened to you at all, and I know something about it is still bothering you” he made sure to say, trying to address whatever had the genius’ mind in a muddle over it. 

“I…” Spencer went to answer and the words wouldn’t come, his mind going blank and that uneasy, hurt feeling in his chest returned, the fatigued and slightly sad feeling over the incident and he was still trying to put it together just why he felt so upset by it now. As it was clear Spencer was struggling to speak Aaron brought his hand around to caress over his cheek, thumb tracing the fine cheekbone and helping him feel cared for in a vulnerable mindset, those big doe eyes not looking far from welling up. 

“Whatever it is, as always…you know I won’t laugh at you” Aaron offered just wanting Spencer to be able to speak and get it out and from the younger’s expression he understood that and believed him with a shy smile “were you scared? like a bad fright of something?” he offered as a starting point to try and figure it out and it seemed to get him thinking, analysing what occurred on the train and in himself during it.

“No…” Spencer answered and that much he believed “I think…maybe I felt a little fed up, getting bullied all my life gets a little tiring after a while” he said a little sadly and it really made Aaron want to track that bastard down for what he did. That same pang started again in the genius’ chest and this time it made his eyes sting a little, threatening to make them water and he didn’t want to cry, he rarely did, but something had changed and it was clearly really getting to him. “I…I don’t know…I don’t know why it got to me this time…I’ve been dealing with it so long and barely blinked at most of it,” he shrugged and started blinking the tears away “damnit” he he cursed as the tears started to win over his resolve and he felt weak, especially next to the ever stoic and composed Aaron Hotchner. 

Seeing the genius tremble as something continued to hurt emotionally made Aaron wish he could take it all away, those doe eyes like a punch to the gut as he watched them glisten with tears and worse yet the young man was trying to hold them back in a bittersweet struggle. Pulling the genius against him as comfort, letting the genius sniffle into his shoulder as he soothed down his back and kissed his hair affectionately he felt the man cry in earnest and he just help him through it whispering words of encouragement until he felt able to talk again.

Muffled against Aaron’s shoulder Spencer felt like such an idiot, how weak he must look - he’s an FBI agent for goodness sake! But true to his word Aaron never laughed at him, never pitied him and never for one second made him feel unwanted. “I don’t know w-why it’s bothering me n-now” Spencer managed in-between his shaky breathing and sniffles “i-it’s j-just like…I’ve always been c-called a ‘freak’ or ‘l-loser’ or…” and a sob hit him as he tried to fully understand it himself, Aaron along for the ride and by his side “…a-after a while you kind of believe it too, y-you know?” he added shyly and only for a moment did Hotch’s movements pause, the soothing hand rubbing circles into his back stopped briefly and it told him just how much that bothered Hotch. 

It wasn’t like Aaron kept it a secret, he’d said many times how he wished the genius knew how amazing he was, how beautiful and sweet and a whole variety of other mind blowing compliments.But it was a hard thing to admit, letting yourself understand how much others affected your perception of reality - of yourself. And for Spencer he’d let them tell him that’s the way things were and they were because he was a freak, because he was scrawny, because he was awkward, because he wouldn't fit in, because of him - when in fact it was because they were insecure bullies who couldn't handle the genius prodigy next to them, couldn't find the patience or understanding in themselves to _see_ how good he was.

“But now…n-now it’s _worse_ ” Spencer murmured, almost like he didn't want Aaron to hear it but he did and his lithe form was held tighter against the more muscular and broad man.

“What do you mean ‘it’s worse’?” Aaron asked softly, pulling back enough to look into those teary hazel eyes and feel a lump in his own throat at the visual of his lover, whom he cared for so much and deserved nothing but happiness looking so _hurt_.

Spencer looked away for a moment, taking a shaky breath to try and steady his thoughts but it only worked so well and he was losing his battle with the tears as he tried to wipe them away on his woollen sleeve. “Now…” Spencer tried to answer and while he couldn't fully realise the idea in his mind he tried to speak anyway and hoped it might make some sense by the end “n-now I know that I didn't deserve it,” he said and the truth of it began to sink in for both of them, Aaron’s expression softening in understanding and Spencer biting his lip as a new wave of stinging tears treated to fall. “N-now I kn-know it doesn't have to be that way, I…I guess my self confidence was really low before…and now it’s _different_ …” Spencer said through the sniffling and finally a tear bested him and rolled over his cheek and it got harder to breathe. 

Hotch pulled Spencer close again and held him tight as he placed a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple and then his hair, feeling him crying into his shoulder and wet tears start to dampen the fabric though he didn’t mind. Hearing what Spencer was saying - it was actually a good thing in many ways. His positive change in self confidence made him see just how _wronged_ he was, years of abuse previously normalised now tainted and painful and he could see how such a realisation could be overpowering. It wasn’t that the incident on the train was any worse or something the genius couldn't handle, it was just a catalyst for self reflection and the realisation of just how cruelly he’d been treated before was hard to swallow so suddenly. 

“I get it now…” Aaron sighed and if he weren’t so focused on the topic at hand he might have mentioned what he swore was an adorable sounding hiccup due to the crying but he didn’t, he just smiled bittersweetly. “So it wasn’t the bullies that changed…it was _you_ …” Aaron said and Spencer didn’t speak, only nodding against his shoulder hoping Aaron might understand his ramble “I guess having faced that for so long you get you guard up and an armour on, like a thick skin” Aaron mused and whether it was feeling like Aaron was listening or the soothing nature of his voice and tone he didn’t mind but the genius seemed to even out in breathing at least a little. “So it makes sense lately it’s lowered enough to really assess why you had to put it all up in the first place…it makes sense that all of that hitting you at once would be hard to process.”

Aaron figured him out, much to Spencer’s relief he was’t just mumbling absolute incoherent nonsense, but on the other hand he started to feel really guilty. Why is he crying? he shouldn’t be crying when he feels good, right? It’s a good thing, he knows now he deserved and deserves better, he knows - thanks to Aaron and his affections - that he is worth more! Yet he was sitting here blubbing and crying his eyes out while in his lover’s arms in his amazing company? being treated so damn preciously?

“I don’t w-wanna cry, I'm _sorry_ Aaron” Spencer sniffled and tried to calm down but it wasn’t working, he felt a guilt that wouldn't budge and Aaron only held him through it, though at hearing the apology he made sure to say firmly “don’t be sorry, what’s there to be sorry for, sweetheart?” in a voice laced with care and something more.

The genius looked so innocent, eyes teary and skin flushed a little pink from the sniffles, those pretty lips pouted that little bit as he tried to answer for his apology but only sounded so sweet when said aloud “I-I just…crying seems like I'm s-sad and I'm not sad… _I’m so happy._ ” He was apologising for seeming sad? He felt guilty that Aaron might think he was unhappy? Hearing that the older man’s heart feel tight and yet light all at the same time, honoured for the man to feel as he did and so very glad for it even if emotions could get muddled sometimes. “Ever s-since…I met you, I've just been getting happier, I'm the happiest I've been in my whole life….” Spencer confessed in the utmost sincerity and those big doe eyes left no guard up in front of the older man.

Tucking Spencer’s head under his chin Aaron stroked through wavy hair and soothed down the slim back, holding him tight and biting his lip for a moment, the display nearly bringing out his feelings in a blunt manner which might only confuse things, at least for now. He waited for his own intensity of feelings to calm a little before saying just above a whisper “Spencer, it’s alright…I know you’re just being hit with a lot all at once, it’s a big realisation…” he said empathetically, “especially with your eidetic memory…most people get to forget a lot of what happened but your mind will be going through it all…am I right?” Aaron asked softly and Spencer’s cries were dulled to a whimper and sniffling now, the occasionally tiny hiccup that was actually rather adorable. 

He nodded into Aaron’s hold and got out, voice breaking in places “it-it’s like…I’ve lived my whole life not sp-speaking the language and I never knew h-how bad it was…and n-now I know it’s every s-sentence or word…it’s just _worse._ ”

Letting out a quiet sigh Aaron felt a strong pang of sympathy, how hard it must be and how overwhelming so he did what he could “it’s like a broken bone” he used as an example “you were never left to have it heal properly at the time so you had to walk on it and now….like you said, it’s worse, and it hurts right now because you're finally breaking it to re-set it again, to be stronger and healthier now and in future…it’s worth it, isn’t it?” he phrased delicately, trying to get Spencer to understand the pain he was feeling was a good thing, a necessary part of understanding and getting passed how he had been treated, now in a place of self worth where he could do so. 

This time Spencer didn’t just nod, this time slim arms came up around Aaron’s shoulders and he pulled back, eyes a little puffy but still his gorgeous self, tears glistening on his cheek and the older man couldn’t help but bring his hand up to wipe some away with his thumb sweetly. The smile at the tender gesture over the genius’ expression was nothing short of breathtaking as Spencer answered “definitely…” through a small sniffle “d-definitely worth it.” Taking a steadying breath he continued “I s-see what you mean…I j-just felt w-weak for letting it get to me so much and then s-stupid for all the contradictions…b-but I’d r-rather know how bad it _was_ t-to know how _good_ it is n-now.”

Without missing a beat Hotch said surely “good, and you’re not ‘weak’ and you’re not ‘stupid’, the opposite actually” and smiled warmly “if you think about, the bullies in school or the guy on the train acted out because of crap they felt…but you’ve went through so much and just….been so _kind_ ” he praised and through all the hurt came a sudden warmth in the genius’ soul, Aaron knew he wasn’t weak, Aaron knew he wasn’t stupid - and more importantly Spencer knew even if it did get confusing sometimes. “It takes strength to keep going like you have” Aaron commended “I’m just so glad we bumped into each other like we did,” he voiced in some relief “I’d hate to think of you not knowing how much better you deserve.”

Spencer smiled and although he was still a little shaky in his breathing he had stopped crying, having got some grounding and better understanding of things helped ease his nerves and he was so very grateful for the joy in his life now, regardless of pains gone by. “Well…I do now, _thanks to you_ ” Spencer said in a way that would usually have been shy or bashful but given what Aaron had just held him through and helped him process he had no reason to. Instead he ran his own fingers through Aaron’s dark hair affectionately, just admiring the strong man that chose to be there for him and valued all that he was. 

Hotch couldn’t not kiss him then, claiming his lips in an emotion fuelled kiss they clung to the other for a long moment, aching from the raw conversation and the feelings they were working through as well as the ones as yet unvoiced. Spencer felt so good he could cry again but was tired of crying at least for now, that powerful feeling in his heart returning full force and entirely focused on his boyfriend, every touch electric as they chased closeness. 

“What a way to spend an evening together, huh?” Spencer asked rhetorically after they parted, trying to lighten the mood and poking fun at the situation a little, that of all things he wanted to be doing around Aaron sniffling wasn’t one of them. 

Aaron just smiled again and kissed his forehead, lingering there for a moment in the sweet gesture before looking into hazel eyes again “sometimes it’s important to just get it all out, relationships aren't ‘happy’ because nobody ever cries…” he answered and that seemed to work to settle any embarrassment that might be lingering in the genius “what matters is we’re there for each other, if it was the other way around you’d do the same for me.” As un-Hotch-like as him weeping would seem if it were to happen it would be over something serious and of course Spencer would support him, be there and take it seriously - he also wouldn’t judge him, just like Aaron was doing for him.

By then the crying had subsided, the occasional tiny jolt of his nerves not quite over it remaining but no more tears came or waves of pain…he felt good, he felt cared for and he felt safe. He was exactly where he wanted to be and that flutter like butterflies in his chest was more than welcome. “I feel better now” Spencer made sure to say and stopped himself from following that with an apology and instead just gazed into Aaron’s dark eyes and handsome face “I hope I didn’t worry you too much, it was just _a lot_ …”

“Don’t worry about it” Hotch replied before adding unable to stop it “I’ve got you” and it was said so simply and surely it sparked a bit of excitement int them, the statement making both feel so warm it should be illegal to feel this good. Seeing Spencer smile so much easier now Hotch beamed “and it seems to have done you a lot of good talking about it, got that pretty smile back” and that made the younger blush a little, suddenly being called ‘pretty’ and the notable smile despite how much of a mess he felt he was. 

Nodding Spencer didn’t let any self consciousness take away the natural smile and decided to make the most of what was left of their evening. After going to freshen up a little and and after a while everything seemed to calm and they were able to lie back and enjoy a corny movie together, cuddled up and and making fun of the movie, so quickly falling back into just enjoying themselves together. By the time the movie ended Spencer had fallen asleep and Aaron didn’t have the heart to wake him, the precious genius curled up against him and so cute when he sleeps so as the night drew in he eventually had to decide to put them to bed and carefully carried Spencer to the bedroom, almost childlike in his tired clinging and cuddling but never actually waking up.

* * *

Spencer woke in the middle of the night to the dark bedroom and it took him a long moment to realise how he got there as he blinked away the tired vision and his eyes adjusted to the dim room. He realised he was still in his shirt but his sweater vest was removed, his socks and belt were gone too and he was curled up against none other than Aaron who was in his t-shirt and likely a pair or boxers though he couldn't see under the covers. With a flutter in his heart he realised Aaron must have carried him and put him to bed, making sure he was comfortable and not disturbing him from his slumber, how sweet, and the warmth in his chest only increased.

He didn’t even think about changing into his pyjamas now he was awake, instead for a long moment he just went over in his mind not just the evening’s events but the whole thing since he met Aaron, the wonderfully lucky accident that was literally bumping into him at the coffee shop. The dates, the hand holding, the in depth of discussions, the fun debates, the heat, the trust, the care, meeting Jack, being so included in Aaron’s life and so easily fitting together… 

A pang in his chest felt so strong he thought it might burst but he welcomed it, that ridiculously happy feeling caused by the man in his life. Looking up to him, that handsome face peacefully asleep, still so rugged and masculine even at his most calm and he couldn't stop his hand from rising, tracing over his cheek to the attractive jaw with gentle fingers just admiring him in the quiet, private moment. He must have lingered for longer than he thought as the older man started to stir, pulling his hand back slightly Spencer let it rest on the muscular chest instead as he watched him wake and those dark eyes open. 

“S-sorry, didn't mean to wake you…” Spencer said apologetically, his voice even quiet sounded sharp against the silence of the night. 

As Aaron’s eyes adjusted to the darkness he also focused on his partner with ease, not having been in deep sleep it was easy enough and he gave a small smile and held him closer, letting themcuddle more effectively and it seemed to make the genius smile back. Nuzzling into wavy hair Aaron answered “it’s fine,” warmly “you feeling alright? I know talking earlier wasn’t the easiest thing.”

Nodding the younger cuddled back but also placed a chaste kiss to Aaron’s neck, near his collar and answered “yes…thank you, I feel a lot better…” his voice so sweet and Aaron kissed his hair affectionately. One of Aaron’s hands started to trail over the genius’ slender arm, remembering as he did so to be gentle on his upper arm as he brushed his fingers over the bruise hidden slightly by the short sleeves and mostly by the shadows but he knew it was there.

“I won’t cause a scene but next time I see Damian I’m not pretending this didn’t happen and it’s all okay…the friend shouldn't have touched you, never mind leave a bruise” Aaron said softly, trying to not let any anger rise up again though it was still there, persistently protective. 

“That’s fair” Spencer admitted, asking Aaron to play nice to such an extreme would only be phoney but the man’s fire over the incident seemed to be calmer “thank you for helping me,” he said sincerely and before Hotch could reply there was nothing to thank he added with a small giggle “and thank you for letting me cry on you” lightening the mood somewhat.

“You can cry on me anytime you need to” Hotch replied with a small chuckle before adding keeping the mood light “and actually…getting to use profiling while staying collected in an intense situation, it can be scary but it’s pretty exhilarating the first time” and both smiled at each other, Spencer’s slight blush hidden by the darkness.

“Yeah, admittedly it felt kind of cool…” he said in a cute manner, “the situation wasn’t good but getting myself out of it like that…I guess was kind of exciting…” 

“It is…” Aaron agreed with warmth, “my first ever case I ended up staring down the sheriff” he started to tell and instantly Spencer’s big eyes looked intrigued, more than enjoying any story time of Aaron’s “he didn’t want the FBI’s help, total dinosaur too and called it ‘wishy washy new age crap’, didn’t think it was ‘wishy washy’ when I profiled him to be a porn addict and overcompensated insecurities with expensive suits and had genuine Xanthophobia…”

“Xanthophobia?” Spencer questioned curiously “like a fear of the colour yellow?” of course he knew the definition.

“Yes, I profiled it was tied to a traumatic childhood memory…anyway he started crying and I thought I’d maybe went to hard on him when Gideon gave me that look” he said and Spencer giggled at that, ‘that look’ being one he knew rather well by now, it always said the job was well done without actually voicing it. “The sheriff was a bully and the case went smoother after that…"

Hearing about Aaron’s journey as a profiler was one of Spencer’s favourite things, just hearing his voice alone was nice never mind that it was particularly interesting to the young agent and anything more he got to know about his boyfriend was thoroughly enjoyed. The genius felt relaxed, the only thing tense was the strong tug on his heart at every thought about the older man and so he felt comfortable returning to a certain topic “…I was tempted to call you…after what happened on the train…” he said softly and that had Aaron shift to look at him fully, both gazes adjusted to the dark and seeing each other well.

Reid’s tone was light as he explained why he didn’t, for all the words sounded strong he was simply exploring what lead him to not calling “I just…I shouldn’t go running to you every time like some child and you were probably getting briefed with a case or on the jet.” As Aaron listened he was glad to hear the tone was not so much about putting walls up or any rejection, instead just a matter of face and actually very telling to his increased confidence in his own resilience. Hotch also knew Spencer was well aware he had a place to go to if he wanted or needed to. 

“But…I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wanted to hear your voice” Spencer admitted, happy to gush about his partner now and not so shyly as he had before “you're so…I-I always feel better when you’re around…I even sle…uh…n-neverm-mind” Spencer fumbled as he realised just what he was about to confess to Aaron and this time his face heat up with a deep blush.

“What was that?” Aaron asked confused for a moment as he tried to interpret the last part of the genius’ sentence, it sounded interesting regardless especially with the bashful reaction all of a sudden. Adorably the young man seemed to almost hide against Aaron’s shoulder and after a long pause spoke, voice muffled by his position “…y-you left your shirt…from our f-first night together…I uh…I still have it, you can h-have it back” he rambled and Aaron continued to decipher what had just occurred. 

“What does that have to do w…” he started to ask when his mind connected the dots, “…do you sleep with my shirt?” Aaron asked with a growing grin at the idea. 

Blushing hard and his voice a slightly higher pitch Reid answered “n-no…well…I uh…I….I don’t sleep _in_ it, i-it’s just on the bed,” he explained and Hotch’s smile only grew wider at the revelation “it…it’s c-calming,” Spencer tried to explain but eventually felt a little too on the spot mumbling “oh th-this is embarrassing” which only added to how cute he was.

With a warm chuckle Aaron said fondly “don’t be…I think it’s sweet” before guiding the young man into a guide him into a kiss, chasing the nerves and any awkwardness for one moment before parting with a smile “as always I think you're adorable.”

“Y-You don't think it’s weird or clingy?” Spencer asked just above a whisper, not feeling on show as much but still blushing “do you want it back? I can bring it over next time…”

Quickly Aaron said clearly “not weird, not clingy…” to ease any self consciousness before saying “you keep it…I like the idea of you getting all snuggled with it…” he said the smile edging on smirk, the image of Spencer seeking out his shirt for comfort or even just by being reminded of him kept him calm? It was an influence he was more than happy to have on the young man and more than flattering that Spencer thought of him in that way.

Stealing another kiss Aaron turned onto his side fully and pulled the lithe body flush against his on, it was more about the closeness than anything heated at first but another kiss followed and Spencer’s own hands were in dark hair adding to the intimacy as they melted into the exchange. Reid’s heart was thumping in his chest, that feeling there again that he couldn’t quite name yet but he felt the need to say something. Feeling a rather intense pang in his chest the genius whispered between kisses “Aaron…I…I’ve never felt like this for someone…” he confessed and his heart felt lighter and yet tighter at the same time and.

Aaron heard his lover’s words and he felt a flutter in his chest, knowing full well what it was he moved to kiss Spencer’s cheek as he tried to pick his response, not sure of which words to choose given he knew just what words were really at the core of it all and if Spencer was ready to hear them. This however was mistaken for hesitance and Spencer wondered if Hotch was maybe struggling since he couldn’t say the same thingso he added “I understand if you have, I'm not your first…” his tone soft and not hurt by the idea, telling Aaron it was alright.

But to his surprise as well as Aaron’s as he reflected on that idea the older agent was able to say between peppering kisses down the pale throat “the way I feel for you…a lot of it is very new…it’s never been so much so fast…” he admitted and the idea of Aaron feeling for him with ease, that they be so well matched that even Aaron was going through a new experience brought a happy hum to the scene. The sweet words inspired more kisses, a gradual need to cling and before they knew it they were getting lost in the feel of the other and increasingly needy.

As Aaron’s had trailed down gently over the younger’s arm, aware his fingers were brushing over the bruise and given all that had been discussed today Aaron started to say “if you're not in the mood we d-” however he was cut off by a more than ‘in the mood’ genius claiming his lips and afterwards saying the quietest “don’t stop” which went straight to his groin.

In a flurry of hands and kisses the pair started to grind and ache for touch, tongues met and both arousals eager as they started discarding clothing, Spencer’s shirt the first to be unbuttoned and tossed aside, Aaron’s t-shirt next and as fingertips felt over skin and bodies arched and shivered they sought more. Aaron moved to straddle the younger man beneath him the only light of the room being what of the moonlight could filter through the curtains and the pale skin appeared slightly illuminated by it, a beautiful vision as he kissed, licked and teased his way down the slight form.

Flicking his tongue over a sensitive nipple the genius squirmed and bit his lip, especially as Aaron coupled this with palming the tenting erection in his pants. Trailing kisses as he went Aaron moved to undo the pants and slip them as well as the underwear from his now nude lover, pretty pink cockhard against the flat stomach and Aaron wasted no time in taking it into his mouth. The cute nosies escaping the younger had Hotch throbbingly hard while he sucked and teased the heated flesh over his tongue and the genius’ hands in his hair encouraged him.

Spencer got lost in the pleasure given to him, just giving over to whatever Aaron would do to him and completely comfortable under the handsome man’s weight, the strong hands fondling over his torso while that talented mouth played with him and he knew he wouldn't last long, already wet and breathless. In the quiet of the night Spencer’s moans were crisp though he tried to keep his voice down but it only sounded more erotic in doing so and Hotch was only made more eager to draw them out. Bringing one hand between the genius’ thighs he traced the wet folds earning a tremble before letting his thumb slip inside to the sound of a gasp, immediately moving the finger in a thrusting motion.

“ _Aaron_ …” Spencer gasped as the finger became two, both digits teasing him and brushing against that spot inside him to make his vision blue in the best way, his hips wriggling on their own accord though he wasn't sure if he was seeking those fingers or the hot mouth. A heat pooling in his groin and Spencer knew he was already close, pleasure washing over him with Aaron’s treatment and fingers tightened in Aaron’s hair instinctively. “F-fuck…h-ah…m-more” he whispered and Aaron sucked harder, tonguing the slit and fingering sped up.

There was something different about tonight, everything felt even more naked and purposeful, like the raw emotions displayed earlier mixed with utter acceptance and made them even more bare than before, that feeling in their chests also adamantly present. When the young man climaxed it was short but intense, Aaron swallowing him while his fingers were flooded in clear release and didn’t stop their actions. Instead he gave into one simple urge - to make Spencer moan, to make him feel so damn good he couldn’t see straight and rather than pulling back he sucked the softening member into full erection again before letting it slip from his lips, glistening against the flat stomach.

He admired the panting, writhing man under him before indulging as he moved himself fully between Spencer’s legs and his tongue eagerly joined his fingers. The mewl that met Aaron’s ears was nothing short of pornographic as he lapped at the wet entrance, tonguing the soaked pussy and boldly buried between his lover’s thighs. He was soaked, passage tensing and the sound of pleasured whimpering gorgeous to hear, the hands in Hotch’s hair tightening their grip naturally and it only pushed him to give more. 

Spencer felt like his head was spinning, so thoroughly sensitive and he still hadn’t gotten over his first orgasms before Aaron was stimulating him even more vigorously and he was just along for the ride, Aaron’s tongue and opening him up, exploring his inner walls and only making his pussy sopping wet from touch, cock pulsing though currently left alone. Bucking against the older man’s mouth, whimpering as he felt his next climax approaching all too soon and his body tensing and shivering in overwhelmed pleasure. He swore he could feel Aaron smirking against him but it only intensified his feelings and one hand left Aaron’s hair to grip the headboard.

Giving Spencer oral was something Hotch couldn’t tire of, the noises, the writhing, the heat and intimacy, the often shy and adorably nerdy genius obscenely eaten out, soaked and hard cock on display, completely giving over to the pleasure and unravelling beneath him. As he looked up he could see Spencer’s fist tightly on the headboard, the tensing more than telling of how much his lover was enjoying the sensations thrumming through his body. Purposefully stimulating that bundle of nerves inside with his fingers accompanied by a teasing tongue he heard an almost squeak at the overwhelming pleasure before panting and moaning as climax approached.

Breathing harshly the younger couldn’t contain the raspy moan as he felt a particularly hard throb and Aaron relentlessly playing with his body. “God, f-uck, _ahh_ …” Spencer gasped, grinding his hips to meet that tongue, begging for Aaron to deepen and quicken his attentions which he did with passion. When he reached his climax it brought him whimpering to a high, starts in his vision and trembling, back arching as he felt himself tense and toes curl in a sensation overload. Aaron felt wetness over his tongue and jaw, soaked in release and the thighs by his head flex in the telltale sign of a powerful orgasm. 

The trembles and harsh panting hitting hard as the high lasted, the young man feeling like he was floating and only weighed down by the emotions in his heart and Aaron’s body over his own. He was only stirred from his orgasm-induced daze as Aaron pulled away and crawled over his body, trailing kisses along the way before being nuzzled into a deep kiss, he still couldn’t see straight so the whole thing was sensory and tactile but he felt perfectly safe so vulnerably under his boyfriend’s care. Spencer’s nails ran down Aaron’s back lazily as he tried to bring the world back into focus but it was taking its sweet time and neither seemed to mind.

Spencer’s hands felt over his lover’s torso, feeling the definition of muscles and broad handsome physique while Aaron’s kisses didn’t help him get his head out of the clouds. When his hand came around to palm his boyfriend’s heavy and thus far neglected erection he rubbed over the aroused flesh earning a low moan muffled into the kiss. Still trying to catch his breath Spencer didn’t speak, but the whine in his voice as his body language yearned for Hotch to just have him already was obviously seeking it and it made Aaron smirk at the younger’s eagerness. 

Finally coming down from his high enough to focus Spencer’s hands were more deliberate in their actions and pulling the boxer fabric down to free the large cock and begin to stroke it while he kissed Aaron’s neck, sucking a sensitive spot and delighting in the older man’s gruff moan. While Spencer’s hand fondled him Aaron reached over to the nightstand to retrieve a condom, not wanting to wait much longer with how needy both were and the contact deeply desired in them. 

Efficiently he pulled his boxers completely off and Spencer stopped stroking him to allow the condom to be placed and with a sudden feeling of urgency both kissed and settled into a close position, Spencer’s legs open and waiting for him in an erotic display as he positioned himself between them. “A-Aaron, please…” Spencer whimpered, hot and aching to be filled his lover wasted no time and started to press inside the tight sweltering heat. There was something primal in how they immediately rocked their hips, nothing forceful but both thoroughly aroused they desperately worked towards the harder, faster thrusting. 

Quickly enough Spencer felt that huge cock fully sheathed inside of him, the pressure divine and constant pleasure filled nerves making him arch his back and try to grind as for him to get as deep as fucking possible. “Oh god, Spencer…” Aaron said breathlessly as the younger wiggled his hips, pussy swallowing him up and both knew they weren’t going to last long. Claiming the genius’ pretty lips in a kiss Aaron picked put he pace and started pounding into the slim man, he was adored and held as something precious but right there and then both wanted and needed something hard and fiery. 

The wet slap of thrusts filled the room along with their moans and panting, both clinging as Aaron gathered Spencer’s form against his own, fully wrapped up in each other as they met in strong thrusts. Despite his efforts to not let the neighbours hear exactly what was going on a loud moan escaped the genius when Aaron brushed that spot inside of him over and over and Aaron only sped up, burying deep every time with precision and the sound of flesh slapping alone left nothing to the imagination.

Between kisses, hands and perfect thrusting, grinding and clinging the pair set up a fast rhythm, focused entirely on pleasure and each other. It flared up again, that feeling, for both of them and Spencer in particular didn’t know how to handle it. He felt so good - too good. “ _Aaron_ …” Spencer whimpered as the pang in his chest was so powerful it hurt, the kisses and closeness only magnifying his heart’s desire and he felt tears stinging at his hazel eyes. 

Hotch seeing this slowed and breathily spoke “are you alright, what’s wrong?” with a pang of worry, hoping he hadn't hurt or upset him somehow but as he felt legs around his waist tense, as though begging for the pace not to change and the young agent try to blink away the tears and his blush darkening he realised that it was likely to be the opposite issue, overwhelmed in something positive.

“N-Nothing…I…I j-just feel _good_ and I” the younger stuttered, voice a little broken and high pitched as he struggled with the tsunami of emotions hitting him and trying not to cry “… _this is s-so embarrassing_ ” he muttered for the second time that night, moved so much for feeling good only the first time was a confused muddle with guilt and this time was just so much he couldn’t contain it. The idea of crying during sex making his face heat up and the struggle only harder to navigate through, no where to hide and feeling like he’d made the intimate moment awkward. 

However after understanding the situation Hotch smiled, it wasn’t pitying, he appeared moved by the young agent’s feelings and sweetly kissed his cheek, tasting the tears and didn’t judge him as he raised a hand to gently wipe them away with his thumb. “It’s alright, sweetheart…” Aaron comforted and kissed his temple, his hips having slowed to a complete stop though he remained inside “for what it’s worth…I’m really happy too” he confessed with a warm smile and those big doe eyes almost glittered in the moonlight and when he asked “do you want me to stop?” he received an instant shake of the head and being brought into a kiss. 

“N-No…please, _I need you_ ” was the passionate reply after they parted, millimetres between their lips and there was something so precious about the man under him, a true gift in his life. While tears remained on long lashes and hazel eyes glistening no more fell and the genius let that happiness take a more firm place in his soul, Aaron so caring and accepting he could cry even then and only be seen as sweet, but he felt like there was another word, a stronger word more fitting for it he couldn’t summon on his own. 

Looking to the genius Aaron thought about returning to their physical indulgences but that wasn’t fair, not yet, he couldn’t help the small grind still buried inside making both gasp and ache for more but he couldn’t help but feel his own heart swell for the young man under him. So trusting and darling and he couldn’t pretend anymore that he wasn’t completely taken by him - he needed to say it, Spencer was so open and vulnerable under him he needed to believe Spencer would handle him too. 

He needed to say it, it hurt _because_ he wasn’t saying it, so summoning a little courage he looked into those innocent but deeply mesmerising eyes he adored and took a breath to steady his nerves, hand caressing down the genius’ cheek and meeting the heavy gaze. He tried to think of some gentler way to introduce it but he couldn’t, noting more needed than the truth as he said “Spencer… _I love you…_ ”

Hearing Aaron’s words Spencer felt drunk, like the world was somehow unreal while intensified in every possible way, more vivid and feeling as those words sunk in. He couldn’t contain his surprise, he hadn’t expected Aaron to say such a thing but by his expression he could tell the older man was only sincere, dealing with his own emotions though he did so in a much less teary eyed fashion than Spencer had. That was it, the word he’d not been able to realise before and it all made so much sense, Aaron was _loving_ , Spencer was experiencing being _in love_ for the first time and to see the older man telling him this made a new wave of tears well up. Aaron Hotchner _loved_ him!

Letting it fully hit him all Spencer could think to do in that moment was kiss him, hands buried in Aaron’s hair he fuelled his emotions into it while his mind simultaneously raised and seemed to blank - that was it, all his feelings put so simply, hearing it from the older man and feeling so _loved_ he didn’t shy away from the moment as they parted and returned with crystal clarity “I… _I love you too…_ ” 

Running a hand through wavy locks Hotch brought him into a firm and tender kiss, affection in every touch, his feelings requited and while he had felt logically rather comfortable saying such the nerves were another thing, not so logically minded he had waited on baited breath until the genius replied and feeling so damn happy himself Aaron couldn’t stop smiling and gathered his lover closer to him.  Unable to keep from their love making any further hips started to roll again and as Aaron’s thick cock brushed against that spot inside him eliciting a gasp and shudder, the ache having been held off long enough as they started to thrust and move together yet again though changed, somehow even more intimate and incredible by their shared words.

Fingertips pressed that bit deeper against skin, trembling to the core as Spencer felt Aaron move, the friction divine and he bucked against him, willing that feeling deeper and deeper, every brush of flesh, any caress or kiss tingling and intense. The pace picked up again and Aaron moaned in a low, velvety voice as he felt the tight, fiery hold over his member taking him every time and hearing the soaked slap with every ram inside, both breathing hard and moaning as the pleasure increased and something like fire making them crave everything they could out of bonding as they were. 

Their connection stronger than before and openly so, having told the other how they feel a sweet act and only being explored further now between their bodies. Hotch claimed those pretty lips in a deep kiss, muffling a moan before pulling back and lift one of Spencer’ legs over his shoulder and turning his hips so that the lithe man was on his side, the twist of that heat around his cock making him bite his lip and similarly Spencer gasped at the sensation against his inner walls. In the new position Aaron could see Spencer wide open for him but also relaxed on his side, all while getting a deeper access making both shudder. 

“ _Oh Aaron_ …I…” Spencer mewled, panting and feeling heat pooling in his groin, throbbing and so fucking wet as Aaron pounded into him making him see stars and grip the sheets tightly, a strong sensation hitting him and as he felt Aaron’s hands feel over his chest, as though to emphasise how his heart was thumping in his chest and he felt him self edge ever closer to climax. “I’m gonna, I…” he stuttered and as Aaron changed the angle slightly Spencer threw his head back “ _yes_ , l-like _that._ ” 

The subtle shift just did something as Aaron thrust inside, buried to the hilt every time and massaging that spot inside so damn good it made the genius’ heart skip a beat and before he could wrap his mind around it he was undone, his member cumming, splashing over his stomach without even being touched while he also released over Aaron’s cock, an intense gush that splashed between his thighs and he would have half a mind to feel embarrassed if Aaron hadn’t sped up his thrusts, thoroughly turned on by the vision of his lover soaked and climaxing so strongly, a strangled gasp torn from his throat.

Under his hand Spencer’s heart was hammering and Aaron felt his own beat in sync as he quickened the pace seeking his own orgasm while the genius was in his own little world though still experiencing the sensation of his orgasm. After that and Spencer clenching around him he was close too, “f-fuck..ah” Aaron grunted and started to thrust so quickly it was more like a jackhammering motion and it seemed to only draw out more from the genius, tensing as another orgasm followed and the young man was a panting, boneless mess.

Spencer couldn't have recalled his own name then, just focusing on the sensations washing over him hard and the man above him looking so handsome and taking such good care of him. His vision was blurry and darkened by pleasure, lights sparking like fireworks but his usually brilliant mind reduced to a melted, overwhelmed and happy puddle of nerves and feelings. 

Feeling a throb Aaron moaned and leaned forward, Spencer’s thigh lifted easily as he was kissed and the pair stayed like that for closeness, lost in kisses and sparks of pleasure even the often stone hearted felt something a little overwhelming when the genius placed his hand over Aaron’s, a sweet gesture and that pang returned but it was more than welcome. After a few more hard thrusts Aaron came, shuddering and bucking his hips through it as the pressure lightened and he was eventually fully spent though the high remained, making him light headed and shuddering as he panted. 

Neither dared move for a long time, just chests heaving and harsh breathing filled the dark room, no outside noise to distract from the intimate moment they were having together as they wrapped up in each other’s arms and tried to figure out how to function again. The high was a strong one as endorphins had them buzzing from much more than the mind blowing sex but the emotional side too. They didn’t part from each other, instead Aaron let Spencer’s leg fall around his waist and propped himself up on his elbows over his lover while placing lazy kisses over the pale neck. 

Laying in the afterglow, still tingly and shivers on the ready against any stimuli on sensitive skin the pair let the room spin and stayed in their sex induced fog. Spencer lay limp but amongst the haze there was one clear, sharp thought - the both knew what had been said - and after several minutes the pair met in a warm gaze before smiling. Butterflies in both stomachs fluttering about at the revelation, the boundary crossed and the ‘L’ word said, neither shied away from it, they’d meant it and they couldn't think of anything better than hearing it said either. 

Catching his breath adorn held the gaze, sex hazy hazel eyes looking up to him so sweetly and body language completely fucked out and trusting he had to address it, his voice raspier than expected “I know it seems soon, but I do…I love you…” he made sure to say calmly, not to be seen only saying so in the throws of passion and the young agent’s smile widened warmly.

“I love you…” Spencer replied simply but it meant the world before thinking of how quickly they seemed to fall for each other and while it certainly felt that way his love of statistics brought something to mind “and it’s not technically ‘soon’…” 

Aaron raised a brow and Spencer was more amazed at himself being able to summon any information after what just occurred but some how at least one fact came out loud in clear through the fog “umm, well…p-past surveys show that men mostly wait just 88 days on average to say _it_ for the first time, b-but 39 percent say within the first month,” the genius rambled sleepily, his voice broken by needing to take a breath or a happy hum in his soul which was a kind sight to Aaron whom listened to every word. “Although a lot say that in same sex relationships and it’s thought that men _delay_ saying how they feel so it will be said back because women take an average 134 days to say it…”

Smiling the older man pressed tenderly to kiss swollen lips, hands coming up to bury in long hair and while the kiss didn’t heat up it did deepen, something wholly intimate in everything they did. Parting he almost beamed down to his boyfriend and said “and that is why you're a genius” earning a small giggle from said genius, before adding “and part of why I love you” unashamed to be at all corny, to happy to care and he really did adore the young man’s curious and incredible mind as a significant part of who he was. 

“Keep talking like that and you’re gonna make me cry again…” Spencer warned but both were smiling.


	11. Sweetheart, Pretty Boy, New Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets the team and feels a little 'off'.
> 
> Just note (I'm sure you all know what's really happening to Spencer right now) and there's a little bit of blood in this, known as 'spotting' which is perfectly normal and healthy and can be a sign of the 'implantation' stage along with symptoms that often present similarly to PMS.

As Spencer’s eyes fluttered open he was cuddled up, being spooned by his boyfriend and all cozy in his strong arms, it took a while for him to realise they were both still naked and while it wasn’t the most comfortable way to sleep he was enjoying it perfectly well for now. Aaron had cleaned them up before going back to sleep though he didn’t remember much, some of the previous night in a bit of a haze but he remembered the important parts and felt his heart do a happy flip. 

Aaron _loved_ him! And he loved Aaron - all was said and heard, so much confessed last night it made his head spin, he couldn't stop thinking about it, _the_ SSA Aaron Hotchner was in love…with _him_?! A giddiness in his chest was a sensation in itself and only intensified as they older man started to kiss his neck down to his shoulder, even delivering a light kiss to his bruise affectionately. The whole thing felt like an amazing dream and he didn’t want to wake up. 

He had a slight headache from crying the previous night but that was to be expected and it was rather forgiving, especially as his mind focused on the warm sensation of the hugs and kisses from his boyfriend. The morning was kept relaxed and Hotch hit snooze on the alarm a couple of times just to have some time to cuddle and talk sleepily. Eventually however he decided it was best they have breakfast and said as such before giving a sweet kiss to the genius and tearing himself away from he warm bed. 

Hazel eyes watched a completely nude Aaron walk around the room to sort a couple of things and he had just enough time to think how it almost a crime for him to slip on the robe before the man did so. As Aaron went to cook Spencer looked around for his clothes and realised he’d left his bag in the living room, as comfortable as he was to have his partner’s eyes on him he wasn’t about to walk around the man’s house in the buff and thought about placing on his pants and shirt but decided against it when he closer in reach was Aaron’s discarded t-shirt and that would be enough to wear for now. 

As he pulled it on the garment was long enough it covered his lower parts and was baggy but showed a lot of leg, however it was just the pair of them in a lazy morning and he stepped sleepily to join the older man in the kitchen. Aaron was facing the stove and hadn’t heard him so the genius walked behind him and put his arms around his waist in a hug from the back, resting his chin on the strong shoulder. “Smells delicious” he hummed and Aaron turned over his shoulder just enough to kiss and after doing so he realised just what he was wearing and smiled. “I borrowed it, I hope that’s alright?”

“I like it” Aaron said without any filter, the words a natural response as he looked over the adorable man in the large top, worn more like a t-shirt dress that barely covered him but showed a fair bit of his collar and legs for days. Lowering the heat on the stove Aaron turned to face him fully with a smirk and let a hand feel over the pale thigh until high enough to start traveling under the fabric “I like it a lot…” he teased and his voice was laced with desire making the young man shiver at the look over his body. 

“If you start talking like that I think we might be late, Aaron…” Spencer said practically and Aaron did hesitate but instead of doing as expected, to play by the rules as he always did he kissed Spencer’s neck and started to knead his lover’s hips making the young agent blush and be a little surprised. 

“Just this once…” Hotch murmured against the pale throat before sucking a sensitive spot earning a gasp and in one strong move lifted his lover up and onto the kitchen counter hearing a slight squeak at the unexpected move. Aaron had seen Spencer in his clothes once before but they were looking after Jack and he’d been dying to see the young agent like that again and he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity presented to him. Standing between Spencer’s thighs he pressed flush against him and arousal was clear. 

His head light from the sudden shift in mood but between the hot stare, the increasing friction and Aaron lifting him like he weighed nothing, the robe shifting to show more of his muscles and the genius was his, putty in his hands. “S-something tells me you like me wearing your clothes” Reid said, skin starting to flush and his own groin throbbing the more this continued. 

Chuckling Aaron said a simple “you think?” and Spencer gave in.

“Okay, if we’re late we’re late…”

* * *

The rest of the day went smoothly, after their passionate morning and a rather burnt breakfast (that was well worth it!) they’d only been a few minutes late in away that was easy to blame on traffic without suspicion. Even meeting up again at the gun range after hadn’t been as bad as the genius was dreading, he wasn’t great by any means but there was a definite improvement from before with Aaron’s instruction. There was also just something real fun about Aaron standing behind him and helping him follow the shot through and while there may have been a few sly smiles at the close position they stayed focused on the task and the exercise was more enjoyable than the chore it usually was. 

But by the end of the work day he was rather tired and near the end he had a couple of cramps giving him bother in his lower back and pelvis area but he logically presumed that was due to his posture and more active sex lately, at least until he went to the bathroom and noticed in his boxers a couple spots of blood. It wasn’t unusual exactly, only rare, for him to bleed at all but his periods did only seem to come on when induced by stress and there had been that the last few days.

Between the attack on the train, the emotional development and crying into Aaron’s arms mixed with the often dreaded shooting practice and the ups of saying I love you’s and passionate love making, for all they were good things they were rather intense and so it made sense that he might get a light flow as a result. Especially since he would be starting the BAU too! The cramps continued but were light and he didn’t experience any more spotting or bleeding so hopefully that was all he would have to deal with. 

As he stood in the shower the night before starting his new role he ran his fingers through his hair and felt the warm water wash over him, and naturally he started to over think the job. Part of him wanted Aaron around to ease his nerves about meeting the team but with all he had been told he doubted there was much more to learn except actually meeting them and it was probably best on his first day not to arrive with his boss/boyfriend. Another day, sure, but the _first_ day he was ideal to go it alone. 

Before bed he made sure his bag was ready and that included searching his bathroom and drawers for a tampon just in case, the last thing he’d want was to be caught out having his period without anything to use making a first impression around agents that wouldn't even know his true sex and he didn’t exactly feel like explaining. He was sure they were good people but it had taken a great deal of courage to even tell Hotch and it was understandably awkward and he certainly did want it to affect how they treat him in the field or as a professional, besides it wasn’t exactly their business anyway.

Eventually finding a practically untouched pack in the back of his closet he took a couple out and into his bag hidden away, again not wanting anyone to know they were there by them accidentally falling out into view. He wasn’t ashamed of his sex by any means it was just something private and he wanted the choice to share such information with whom he felt comfortable knowing. Amongst his searching and sorting his bag however he realised he’d forgotten something, he’d left his short sleeved shirt at Aaron’s house.

Texting Aaron he asked if the man had seen it and he was quickly replied to, Hotch’s message reading ‘Hey, yeah it’s at my place, maybe I want to keep it and snuggle up with it like a certain someone does? xx’ teasing him lightly and it made the genius smile before hazel eyes travelled to his bed and to the very shirt the older man was referencing. 

Reid texted back ‘I told you, I don’t sleep in it, it just reminds me of you x’ only to receive the reply ‘Well feel free to get real close, the idea of it is more than fun xx.’

‘I’ve noticed you like me in your clothes, if this morning is anything to go by’ Spencer wrote in a text and not used to texting that much he took a while to find a wink face emoji but eventually got there and added ‘I suppose I could wear it to bed if you like? x’

Almost immediately he received a text from his boyfriend saying ‘I’d love that, could you send me a picture? xx’ and the genius blushed, he’d never sent anyone a photo that wasn’t something official, the idea of sending his boyfriend a still tame but slightly intimate photo made him feel a little nervous of looking silly. 

His hair was still wet and he had a pair of boxers on already before he slipped on Aaron’s shirt and did a couple of the buttons, it was so baggy on him it showed a fair bit of his chest and covered most of his boxers as though he wasn’t wearing them at all. Sitting on the bed he tried to take a few of photos and eventually after the awkward process felt there were at least a couple that he was happy to send. 

They weren’t necessarily sexual, he was covered a great deal but he had a lot of leg, collar and a bit of chest revealed, mixed with the soaked hair and still flushed skin from the heat of the shower the genius was given the very grateful reply of ‘Do you know how gorgeous you are? Thank you, and it goes without saying that picture stays between us, you looks so hot sweetheart xx’ and the genius felt his face heat up even more at the bold praise. 

He wasn’t sure what to say though the man even just through text had made him very happy and trying something new too ‘Glad you like it, maybe you can focus on that if we have any trouble being professional tomorrow but I hope we’re fine. But maybe at some point I can get a picture in return? Nothing extreme, I’d be happy with you in jeans (nothing else) x’ and as he hit send he felt a little naughty, he was essentially asking his boyfriend and now his _boss_ for a shirtless photo.

A few minutes later as the genius started to crawl into bed he received another text and he had expected Aaron to simply tease or imply he might receive such a thing in future, instead he was delighted to see an image sent to him of Aaron, he was standing in front of the full length mirror and taking a picture of himself on his phone, jeans on and nothing else as was asked. The jeans were low on his hips and no sign of underwear, Spencer supposed he had specified _only_ jeans and that was taken literally and he was _very_ happy with that, the man looked so strong and masculine, his muscled torso so vivid in his mind he knew what it felt like, how his abs flexed under his touch of his heart beat under his palm. 

His mouth became a little dry at the sight and when Aaron also sent the message ‘This what you had in mind? xx’ Spencer was quick to say ‘Yes!’ and he thought of how praising Aaron often was to him and so was rather open about his approval though it was a little new to him ‘Shirtless Aaron = very happy me! Love you x.’

He could practically hear Aaron’s warm chuckle in his head from how he would read the sweet message and he was quick to receive another ‘Love you too, sweetheart. Now you get some sleep, busy day tomorrow and you’ll do great. I believe in you, night xx.’

With that Spencer smiled to himself and got settled in his bed very ready to sleep though the light bit of excitement was thoroughly enjoyed, the picture of Aaron more that fun and he was sure Aaron was feeling the same. Also seeing Aaron say ‘I believe in you’ warmed his soul and so the genius replied ‘Night, see you tomorrow x’ and wearing his boyfriend’s shirt he got all snuggled under the sheets and turned off the lamp ready for bed, relaxed by the familiar feel of the fabric and man it reminded him of, the subtle aftershave soothing him into slumber and chasing the stresses away.

* * *

“Why isn’t the new guy here yet?” asked Morgan “figured lover boy would be here with the boss” he mused as he spared a glance to see Hotch in his office focusing on reports. The team were gossiping in the bullpen, of course, as the new start was arriving today and not only was he apparently a genius but also the boyfriend of the stone hearted chief. 

“They’re not living together, probably didn’t want to ride in with his own boss for the first day” Emily reasoned “not that I’d mind, I think it’s sweet” she added, more than impressed at the more relaxed Hotchner as a result of the clearly happy relationship. 

Penelope sniggered “sorry, when we finally see this genius I’m not gonna be able to stop imagining… _you know…_ ” she half-joked but in reality her playful mind was telling the truth “I mean with Hayley she wasn’t working with us, it’ll be weird having both Hotch and his boyfriend around all the time.”

Rossi chuckled “think of it this way, Dr Reid is a smart, accomplished young agent who can get even Gideon to soften even a little, then makes Hotch _smile_ , we are getting a guaranteed miracle worker” he said and earned a few laughs from the team “and Hotch did ask me to go over the applicants, they find professionalism important even if they are dating.”

“I dunno Rossi” Morgan said “I don’t mix my work and my play” he started to reason when Emily joked “well that’s because your _play_ is being a ‘playa’ and if you did have to work with your lady friends you’d be too busy grinding or arguing over not calling her back” and that got the team giggling.

“I’m not that bad” Derek argued at first before thinking it over “then again let’s hope Hotch is keeping on good terms with the newbie” he gave in.

Meanwhile Aaron sat in his office trying to ignore them though it was blatantly obvious what they were talking about. At least Gideon would be joining them for the first couple of cases since he offered to help, hopefully that slightly protective streak wouldn’t be hard to work with but the more hands the better when it came to catching unsubs and saving lives. It also looked like they’d be getting a case this afternoon and JJ was handling calls and making sure she was being invited in by the local authorities before officially briefing the team. 

Looking to his phone he had another glance to the picture Spencer had sent him, so shy and cute, sexy in that kind of coy way he often was, that blush ever present and so damn pretty. It was private, and he liked that, something Spencer hadn’t done and trusted in him to be respectful with and he would be, it was for his eyes only and he liked it that way. Spencer would be coming by any minute now and he decided to be in the bullpen when that happened, he was likely to arrive with Gideon too but he hadn't told the team that yet except for Rossi.

The moment he joined the team they were smiling at him and Rossi was the first to speak up “Reid’s gonna get quite the introduction if JJ’s calls are anything to go by, you think we’ve got a case?”

“Looks like it” he answered, ignoring the grins his fellow agents couldn’t contain “there might be time for an induction before we’re jetting off” earning a few nods. 

“So, what’s he like?” Emily asked “Rossi’s said a little from the resume but you’re the only one who’s actually met him?” her tone curious.

“Well, don’t let his looks fool you, he’s young” he warned, helping to prepare their expectations somewhat “but his profiling skills and intelligence are something incredible” he complimented. “To be honest I’m surprised Garcia hasn’t stalked everything about him yet” he smirked.

Immediately the bubbly blonde replied “I wanted to and chocolate thunder wouldn’t let me” like it was some terrible crime she hadn’t been allowed to snoop.

“I had to promise her nice things so she didn’t go stalking your boyfriend” Morgan informed to which Aaron said a simple “thank you” amongst the other group’s giggles. 

It was then that Aaron saw Spencer arrive and he must have met Gideon in the lobby as they walked in together chatting away and the team noticed the older profiler had arrived but didn’t quite clock who Spencer was, perhaps instantly blinded by his youth paired with the unexpected presence of Jason. “Hey, why is Gideon here?” Emily questioned though her tone was light, the man more than welcomed but just odd to see him.

“And who’s that pretty boy with him?” Morgan asked curiously, Jason clearly in debate with the young man and it was rare for the recluse to be speaking so engrossed with anyone these days.

Aaron smirked to himself at the term ‘pretty boy’, Morgan completely straight and not being flirtatious in any way but the name did fit the lithe agent. “He is a cutie,” Penelope backed Derek up with a smile though again the tone was platonic, more sisterly.

Rossi raised a brow at the sight and connected the dots, smirking at Hotch he said “I do believe our new member and Aaron’s boyfriend _works_ with Jason…” smugly, giving the obvious hint to the team to figure it out and immediately the group paused, realisation hitting them full force just who the young man was. 

“No way, how old is that kid ,17?” Morgan rattled on naturally and luckily Rossi answered “23” firmly and while the genius was still young he wasn’t questionably legal. 

Aaron ignored Morgan’s blab and added “like I said, don’t let the pretty face fool you that he’s younger…or the three PhDs that he’s older” and that had the agents a little stunned, it was true, looks wise 23 seemed older than expected but to _only_ be 23 given his qualifications sounded near impossible. 

Hazel eyes looked up his conversation with his mentor and flashed a smile towards Aaron and a little shyly at the team as they approached. Luckily Gideon seemed to have a similar idea to Hotch, despite how elusiveJason could be it was handy at first for him to almost buffer and help everyone get settled, especially as Spencer’s mentor he knew the genius professionally like even Aaron didn’t and it would be useful in the early days adjusting to field work. The team said hi and JJ joined the group in the bullpen to welcome the new member and Gideon introduced everyone efficiently “Spencer this is Prentiss, JJ, Morgan, Rossi, Garcia and you know Hotch” he said smoothly, no tone to imply anything further but not pretending the connection wasn’t there “everyone - this is Dr Reid.”

The welcoming hellos were made and Spencer gave a shy wave and chimed “it’s nice to meet you all, I’ve heard so much.”

Politely Rossi stood from his chair and gave a firm handshake “it’s good to finally meet you” before teasing a little “Aaron’s been hiding you from us.”

“I haven’t been hiding anyone…” Hotch was quick to say thought the small smile remained “it just feels that way since you're all so nosey” which had the team laugh a little at their own antics. 

The introductions went well if a little shy, but the moment Spencer got to talk to Rossi about his books the energy really picked up and the speed to which he could summon complex information was a little bewildering to some of the team at first. Dates, names, everything said so easily and it wasn’t hard to imagine how such a sharp mind would be useful, however it was clear that people were still trying to wrap their heads around the image of him, so young and innocent looking there was a lot to adjust to. 

Getting onto more practical elements Hotch said “JJ is currently sorting a case, looks like you're going to be thrown in deep end first day going into a case but I’ll induct you as much as I can prior to briefing” his tone perhaps a little warmer than his usual politeness and it was subtle but the seasoned profilers picked up on the difference and it made several smile amused at the boss’ soft spot.

Jennifer smiled and said “I’m sure we’ll get acquainted more on the jet, Reid” taking her own turn to get a handshake and Spencer immediately got a good vibe from her, “I’ve got calls to make but I’ll leave you to get settled in, I’m sure Hotch can get you on top of things in no time.” She flashed another smile before heading off to resume her duties and the genius was guided by Hotch to his desk and shown the ropes. Although Aaron was smiling more than his usual self, which meant smiling at all, he was professional and practical, going over protocol though he knew Spencer had materials memorised already.

Morgan, Emily and Penelope went to get coffee while Gideon and Rossi caught up and they were reacting to the new member they’d just met. Morgan still not getting over how young Reid was, the idea of Spencer and Hotch getting all…intimate….hard to picture at all and it was a bit of a shock but he had to have faith his boss wasn’t just having some midlife crisis or similar, “it’s not just me right? Hotch and pretty boy?” he said conveying the match was a little odd to him as he poured his coffee.

Prentiss rolled her eyes and leaned against the counter sipping her coffee “so he’s boyish,” she shrugged “he seems super sweet and Hotch is clearly smitten and happy, I think it’s cute.”

Giggling Penelope replied “Bossman? smitten?” with a grin before the three looked over to see the couple going over reports and happened to see them at a moment where they’d found something funny and where sharing a quiet laugh together “oh I suppose…” she gave in.

Morgan however still couldn’t settle on it “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with how young the kid is, or their relationship…but there’s a big gap…” he mused and as the judgemental stared started pointing at him he added “it’s not my business but it is a factor, what do they have in common?”

At that point Gideon and Rossi had joined them and Gideon spoke with some confidence “oh I don’t know, theatre, books, history, music, movies…now work” he answered “Spencer isn’t your typical 20-something as I’m sure you’ve noticed either, trust me if I thought this was a mistake I’d have said so…” The three nodded and they were all tempted to bring up Gideon’s own softness towards the young agent but held their tongues. “Don’t worry about the kid, Spencer’s probably more mature than you lot put together” he added only partly in jest.

Rossi was about to object when Gideon smirked “and how many fraternisation rules were written about you? or are you currently breaking?”

“Point taken” Dave replied in good spirits and the group cast their eyes back to the couple and saw Spencer reading over some files, hazel eyes scanning page after page in seconds, trailing his finger over line after line.

“Is Reid…reading that or just skimming?” Penelope asked.

“Reading…” Rossi and Gideon answered in unison, though Gideon was used to seeing it and while Rossi knew it was possible from his resume he too watched in some amazement at the lighting fast reading, the team quickly starting to learn just what level of genius they were dealing with.

* * *

On the jet JJ and Penelope presented the case, Garcia via the screens and laptops and they theorised their ideas on whom the unsub could be and aspects of the profile. Again Spencer proved more than impressive, able to site previous and similar cases with impeccable detail and summon relevant statistics as well as offer geographical profiling leaving he rest of the team in some awe. 

After the briefing Hotch and Prentiss sat looking over the files and she couldn’t stop grinning towards the hard man boss seemingly far more relaxed than normal just by the genius’ presence. She leaned over and quietly said “you know you can sit with Reid and we wont mind?” 

Hotch barely looked up from his report and said “I want him to get to know the team, he can be a little shy on first introductions so sticking by me might be counter intuitive.” His answer made sense and both glanced over to the genius who was sitting by JJ, the two youngest on the team getting to know each other and the strategy seems to be working as the pair smiled. 

JJ was sweet, clearly a kind soul and she was very welcoming, she was the most informative to Reid about the rest of the team and ready to diffuse any teasing that night happen from Morgan, though it was all in good fun. Meanwhile Rossi and Gideon were having a thorough chat about the genius and his time studying under Jason and as more information came out about the young agent just in his work in teaching and writing the more Rossi couldn’t contain the question “Dr Reid, do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Not at all, sir” he said politely, turning from JJ to face the older man.

“What genies lamp did you rub to get that brain of yours?” came the unexpected compliment and Spencer was genuinely a little surprised, the whole team seemed super nice and any nerves about meeting the team were long forgotten. “If we’d had one of you back in the day we’d have been set” Rossi added smiling and gesturing to Gideon, referring to how the pair started the BAU though with far fewer resources.

In response Spencer did his best to contain the blush though it wasn’t working, being surrounded in people he held great respect for and hearing they were impressed by him was quite flattering and from a few seats away Aaron couldn’t help but think of how cute he looked, but also just how good this experience was for the genius. “Th-thank you…umm, it’s pretty helpful for m-me too though, it’s why I got so many exemptions in the academy,” he said humbly and Penelope over one of the screens smiled.

“Kind of like me” Garcia said from the screen cheerily “I got picked up for my hacking skills, we can be genius buddies, boy wonder” she added grinning and with a sweet nickname.

Morgan also chimed in “you knew the case file word for word, you got some tactic for remembering that stuff?” 

“I have an eidetic memory, it’s particularly helpful for things I read” Reid informed and both Gideon and Hotch couldn’t stop the warm chuckle at how much of an understatement that was. 

Deciding to let the team see just what he could do Hotch said “it can also help with hearing, Spencer could just recite this entire conversation…” he said smugly and waited, the team very intrigued by such an idea.

“What?” JJ says replied curiously “you mean this whole conversation?” 

Spencer smiled and cast a glance to his boyfriend, basically asking him to show off a little though he as happy to when he said in one long ramble the conversation from start to finish starting with when Rossi asked him a question earlier. Pointing to each speaker in turn as he quoted them he started with David “Dr Reid, do you mind if I ask you a question?” before pointing to himself “not at all, sir” and back again “what genies lamp did you rub to get that brain of yours? If we’d had one of you back in the day we’d have been set.”

Already the team watched in some shock, Emily’s jaw dropped but half grinning and Morgan looking around like this was some sort of prank but it wasn’t . Pointing to himself Spencer continued “thank you…umm, it’s pretty helpful for me too though, it’s why I got so many exemptions in the academy” and then pointed to the laptop screen with Garcia watching with wide eyes “kind of like me…I got picked up for my hacking skills, we can be genius buddies, boy wonder.” 

Then he pointed to Morgan quoting “you knew the case file word for word, you got some tactic for remembering that stuff?” before back at himself “I have an eidetic memory, it’s particularly helpful for things I read” and then with a warm smile pointed to a rather smug looking boyfriend “it can also help with hearing, Spencer could just recite this entire conversation…” and finally he pointed to JJ next to him “what? you mean this whole conversation?”

In a stunned silence for a few long moments, everyone letting what just happened sink in and it lasted long enough the genius wondered if he’d said something wrong, but as he looked over to Aaron and Gideon the men were smirking, more than impressed and in turn he shared a small smile with each of them, the whole first impression thing going rather well - never mind when they actually got to sink their teeth into a case itself. 


	12. First Time for Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid goes into the interrogation room and later starts to feel under the weather.

The first case had gone swimmingly, he’d gotten to the know the team and vice versa, everyone friendly and welcoming and he’d gotten more first hand field experience from visiting the crime scenes to interviewing witnesses and working face to face with law enforcement on a live case. Between his skills in handwriting analysis and geographical profiling, not to mention unmatched reading speed they’d solved it efficiently and with minimal loss of life and he was fully accepted onto the team with open arms. 

Any doubts about first impressions or even his ability to work with Hotch were gone, himself and Aaron focused heartily on the task at hand and had made the decision to room separately while on the job too, they were luckily all given their own rooms that time and didn’t have to make any choices to buddy up. It was a little strange, not teaching any more, not just combing through evidence to piece old puzzles together, but active ones laying clues as they went and he was able to be a part of solving it. 

After a couple of weeks on the job he’d gotten used to everyone, Morgan liked to kick down doors and could tackle just about anybody but was a big softie in the middle, Rossi was as he expected from his books but definitely at least a bit cheekier, Penelope was a colourful character but they could chat for a fair while about Dr Who and other fun, geeky topics. Gideon wasn’t there day to day but he was still offering to come along for a couple more cases when convenient which was good, his mentor helping ease into things and the older man always insisting he be introduced as ‘doctor.’

Emily was an easily accepting sort and was clearly a strong person though she was quick to make a joke and JJ was probably the one other than his boyfriend and mentor that he’d bonded with the most. Being the youngest two on the team and her being a communications coordinator made them feel a little similar, both active in the cases but not the types to get physical and bringing their own particular skills to the table. She was also social enough for the both of them, she’d invited him along to a couple of movies with Penelope and once with Morgan which was fun, Aaron had been invited being his boyfriend but he had Jack that night and he seemed to be encouraging the genius to be making his own friends which was sweet.

They were on another case and again with their own rooms, Spencer waking up a little bit before his alarm but feeling very tired and groggy, the last couple of days he’d felt drained and he supposed he might just be adjusting to the more hectic schedule. He was glad that beyond the bit of spotting two weeks ago he hadn’t gotten anything further though the cramps were back, just a little sore in sensation around his pelvis but not anything too terrible, he just made sure to drink more water and try and relax when possible. 

The number one thing bothering him was fatigue, he’d always been one for long nights and early starts, but the last few days he felt heavy and like he wanted to just curl up and sleep at all times of the day, when he would get cuddled up with Aaron it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep against the handsome man and luckily it was always seen as cute. 

The alarm went off and he audibly groaned, he really didn’t want to get up today but they were likely to make a lot of progress today in finding their unsub so he dragged himself from the bed and winced a little, the light cramp unpleasant and he decided to take a quick hot shower to hopefully ease the discomfort. 

He still felt a little exposed out at hotels for cases, the team had a tendency to be suddenly thrust into action at the drop of a hat and although everyone was respectful of personal space he didn’t like to be nude more than necessary in these times. He was able to shower and get dressed without issue, bar the tiredness, and was just fixing his hair when there was a knock at his door and he opened it to Morgan. “Hey you gonna be ready to head in five minutes?” he asked, some energy to it.

“Yeah, any development since last night?” he asked, reading his teammates expression enough to know there was something more.

Smiling Derek said “baby girl managed to piece together connections between the victims” he informed using his nickname for the techie “and we’ve got a likely group of suspects and Hotch called to have a prisoner brought in, he’s likely to know which of the suspects we should be looking at but it’s tough to get him to talk.”

“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute” Spencer said cheerily, and across the corridor he saw Aaron exit his room, well awake and suited up, talking on the phone to someone to have a prisoner visit arranged asap. They flashed each other a smile, just happy to see each other naturally and Hotch continued on his way.

“Hey, you said ‘in a minute’” Morgan teased “you gonna get all dreamy over the boss we’ll be here all day” he chuckled and Spencer realised he had probably gotten a little distracted and his happiness in the man’s presence obvious. 

“Right” he snapped himself out of it though that giddy feeling remained.

* * *

One by one the team of agents tried their luck to interrogate the prisoner, pulling out the tricks to be given a name since the man sat cuffed in the small room was likely a friend when the unsub served time for prior offences which fit the profile. Spencer and the team watched through the glass, reading body language and it was obvious this Malcolm West knew who they were looking for he just had one hell of an attitude and seemingly nothing to lose, he was having fun winding up the FBI and having their attention. 

As Gideon and Hotch made their way out of the room, another failed attempt to get anything out of him they seemed a little deflated but more frustrated at not being able to crack this guy, Hotch seemed to be contemplating new strategies and about to arrange some second try for someone when Gideon said a clear “Reid, you're up” with a smile much to the surprise of the chief. 

“W-What?” Spencer stuttered, he hadn't given it a try yet but he also lacked the experience of this sort of thing and he wasn’t sure what he could try that the others hadn’t already. Hazel eyes moved from Gideon to Hotch, his mentor clearly in favour and his boyfriend hesitant and perhaps a little taken aback by the colleague's suggestion in the first place.

Morgan too seemed to dislike the idea arguing “Gideon, the guy is huge” implying it was unlikely the man would be intimidated by the young genius into talking and that perhaps it might be uncomfortable for Spencer himself. 

“And? West is cuffed and it’s about using the profile not fists - let him try” Jason argued and the team looked to Aaron for a response, he was the chief after all and it was his decision. 

For the first time since Spencer had joined the team Aaron had cause to be protective and it was obvious that he was, his shoulders were tense and his jaw clenched instinctually but was trying to be professional as he searched his mind to treat the idea fairly. He really didn’t want to let Spencer go in there, it was silly, West unable to do any harm cuffed to the table and he couldn’t keep Spencer safe and sound forever but it wasn’t easy. “How much interrogation experience do you have?” he asked trying to keep his tone even.

“It’s more interview than interrogation” Spencer answered honestly “mostly about past cases with law enforcement, experts and witnesses, the only criminals have been mental patients being treated…” and just as Aaron thought he might have reason to keep spencer from the room or at least suggest he not go in alone Gideon got in first.

“Well there’s a first time for everything” Gideon said ignoring that glare from Hotch “give the kid a chance” he pressed. 

Letting out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding Hotch looked to his lover and teammate, the genius looking sweet as always and wondered what might come of it but then again he supposed other than a likely unpleasant interview process there didn’t seem to be any real risks, it was just his own protective instincts getting in the way. “If you want out of there, just get out, we’ll be right behind the glass watching everything” he surrendered and looked into hazel eyes and while Spencer appeared nervous he wasn’t about to run away from the challenge. 

“O-okay…got it” Spencer said and flashed a small smile, he was a little scared, more about failing miserably or trying a tactic that was a major waste of time showing his inexperience than necessarily facing the prisoner. Although he was a big guy…

When the young agent entered the room the anxiety became more apparent and Hotch immediately felt like pulling the plug on it, the difference between the two men was startling and theman they were interrogating managed to make even the toughest agents look puny. He was 6ft6” and bulked up, covered in gang and prison tattoos and scars to go along with it, his voice booming and very much willing to strike out if only he could. 

For Spencer the first thing he did was glance to the cuffs seeing they were still very much doing their job, that helped though he couldn’t hide his nervousness from the man and it seems to be very entertaining as West smirked “the FBI sending librarians now?” he mocked looking at Spencer’s form and the way he dressed “I could snap you like a twig” he threatened and from outside of the room Aaron grit his teeth.

However hearing that Reid mulled it over and considered how to approach the meeting as he sat down across the table dropping the file there and replied “with your hands cuffed?” sounding innocent. 

West clearly didn’t like the reply as his body language tensed and his eyes watched dangerously, challenging him when he spat “you little smart ass, give me two seconds out these cuffs and I could rip you apart.”

As biting as the prisoner’s tone was the genius continued with logic and tilted his head as though contemplating what he said “why would I ‘give you two seconds out of your cuffs’?” sounding as though terribly confused by the phrasing before moving into more personal territory that would definitely get the man pissed off “you think muscles make you…what? powerful?” he questioned as though the idea was worthy of ridicule and he watched the man almost growling in his throat “better? somehow in control?” he pressed.

West naturally went to lash out but was stopped by the cuffs, the clink and rattle of metal sounding out in the small room rather pathetically and stopped fritter by the bolted down table. Just to anger him even more Spencer made himself smile “see?” he said and West’s glare was murderous before he continued analysing the man though still a little nervously “w-we’ve looked at your file, Mr West…t-truth is…you’ve been doing everything like a child, screaming ‘mommy look at me’, but despite all your acting out you are just one drip in a sea of _mediocrity_ , worse actually, you're a _number_ in prison system hidden away from the world like you don’t even exist.” 

From outside the room the agents exchanged glances, this method easily the one proving to get the most under his skin and they were already impressed with the progress though how Spencer was planning on getting a name for the unsub they were waiting to find out. Hotch was still visibly tense though the team didn’t point it out, just glad that despite how their chief felt he let Spencer go in in the first place. 

West was about to speak when Spencer talked over him “you’re even hidden away from people l-like me, the FBI, the people you threaten to _feel important_ at any sliver of a chance you get…” and again the cuffs rattled as the prisoner got angry though he continued “and you know the moment you’re back to your everyday you’ll be with far bigger and badder guys than you are, back to being a scared _nobody_ …so tell me…is it therapeutic? yelling at me, threatening me?” he posed the questions to highlight how truly pathetic the actions were “you feel so low you need to put _me_ down?” Spencer gestured to himself, unashamed to show how skinny he was or how doing so didn’t make him in any way a tough guy.

That seemed to quiet the man, Spencer was getting somewhere with this line of interrogation and so he followed the threat even deeper “I’ll admit my whole body is scrawnier than the arm you don't even masturbate with…” he said, purposefully using a slightly bolder choice of words to throw him off and challenge him “but if you think for one moment I have to punch down to feel better…maybe that’s the mentality of a five year old…a pretty _neglected_ one at that…because that was it, wasn’t it? All you ever wanted was mommy to say how good a boy you were?” and that got West almost snarling, he was mad, so he pushed it “but…she was too _busy…_ ”

“Shut your mouth” West spat, visibly agitated and his eyes daring him to go any further at his own peril but given their roles in this Spencer did.

“What?” Spencer shrugged like he wasn’t saying anything invasive, he’d read the man’s file and knew exactly what his mother had been ‘busy’ with “I have respect for the _working girl_ , I’m from Vegas after all,” he sympathised but kept digging into the big man’s insecurities “I'm sure she worked real hard to keep that roof over your head, servicing all those men…” and again the man started to threaten him but he continued “but…that doesn't excuse being a _bad mom_?”

“Don’t you talk about her like that!” West hollered and beat both his hands on the metal table, unable to reach over the the agent though he clearly wished he could. 

“But why?” again Spencer played innocent, like he didn’t understand how what he was saying might get to the man. “Like I said, respect to her, just because she was seeing johns every night, selling her body, doesn't mean she was a bad mom,” he reasoned as though he were on his side. However he followed that with “she did what she had to…for _herself_. Plenty of great moms walk the streets…they’re loving, and give cuddles and care so much…” he said warmly before looking almost pitying to the prisoner “just…your mom…she wasn’t…did she even hug you… _ever_?”

From outside the room the agents watched in awe as the agent so tiny in comparison to the goliath of a criminal now clearly struggling to keep composure and like they could see him cracking with every emotional prod by the genius eventually they saw tears welling up in West’s eyes and Emily gasped “he’s gonna cry” her mouth agape. The rest of the team stared like it was the most fascinating thing, Hotch somewhat stunned too, as much faith as he had in Spencer’s profiling abilities this was something else and he didn’t miss the cocky grin on Gideon’s face as things progressed.

“Or were you just in the way? hm?” Spencer pressed unaware of the amazed agents hanging on his every word. 

“I will rip your face off” West said, baring his teeth like some wild animal he was livid but only covering up the world of emotions being uncovered and put on display by the young man.

“It still won’t make her notice you…” Spencer replied calmly, almost sounding bored and it really annoyed West “she’s still alive right? has she visited you? her little precious boy in prison and she doesn't check on you?”

That was it. The last push and he watched the man fall apart, he tried to collect himself but time after time he lost the fight and started to tremble and weep, sobbing and struggling with himself to try and stop. Spencer watched calmly and waited for his opening, letting the initial pain wash over him and have West fully give over the the very fact that he was crying and in front of the scrawny agent of all people until he was passed the worst of it though feeling low and throughly raw from having so much brought to light. 

“Now…” Spencer started and met those previously angry and now sad eyes “you can go on _pretending_ like you being all defiant and threatening…is somehow _significant_ …or you can do something _actually_ significant.” His words were said clearly and logically, no longer focusing on the emotional so much as the core need the man would be craving - the need to be seen and important - which he could use. “Your mom may have been cold, but I can tell that you have feelings, a lot of them…” he said softly and it seemed to help the prisoner stop tensing so much “and out there we have a missing girl whose parents love her and miss her very much…none of your tough guy friends are going to know you helped us, it’s not the sort of thing that’ll go around the yard…so what do you say? do something important, do something caring for another human being…something your mother never did…”

After a few sniffled and some internal struggle West looked to the genius ad said simply “you’re looking for Perez…” 

“Perez?” Spencer repeated to be sure.

“I only knew him by his last name…” he got out and from then on Spencer focused on asking helpful questions to aid in their investigation and while he didn’t own West anything throughout he said ‘thank you’s and praised the man’s efforts to recall certain information and it seemed to do the prisoner some good. When they finished West was passed most of the sad feeling and was only actually feeling good about lending a hand and it was to such an extend that by the end Spencer felt comfortable reaching his hand close tot he cuffs to shake the man’s hand. It was huge compared to his own but the sign of respect went a long way and with that the meeting was over. 

As Spencer concluded the interview Gideon placed a hand on Hotch’s shoulder and flashed a smirk “the kid’s gonna be just fine in this line of work…”

Hotch had to agree, however much he wanted to protect Reid letting him take on new challenges only seems to do well, “can you blame me for being a little nervous?” he admitted, willing to address his own responses to the situation.

Gideon chuckled “nah…I was nervous too” he confessed and the glare he received from Hotch was something he'd never received before.

“You mean you weren’t completely confident that would work?” Aaron said, Gideon’s antics back full force and the team around them just seemed to chuckle and it helped lighten the mood, especially as Spencer stepped out of the room. 

Gideon was the fastest to congratulate on a job well done “knew you could do it, Reid…” and pat him on the shoulder affectionately “now let’s get this unsub” he added and was off, the bewildered team gingerly following behind all saying their praises to the young agent for his fine work in there. 

It was only when the rest of the team were a head of them Spencer and Aaron had a little moment between them and Spencer adorably asked “so…I guess that went well?” a little shyly.

Aaron just smiled warmly and let his nerves relax and took the ball private moment to reach over and give his lover’s hand a squeeze “ _very_ …great job , Spencer” he said with pride. 

* * *

The case was solved soon after and he was very glad for it, as exciting and rewarding as it was he was exhausted, he'd even fallen asleep on the jet on his way home and Aaron didn’t fail to tell him how cute he looked, in private of course. Another week passed and luckily he didn’t have cramps anymore but the fatigue was something else, maybe he was just going to have to get used to it, maybe his body was reacting tot he jetting off and erratic schedule and napping was something he'd just have to fit in. 

Aaron didn’t seem to mind, any excuse to cuddle up was welcomed though they made time to date and other activities too. Luckily even tired he got through reports faster than anyone else so it barely showed and he was accustomed to working tired anyway so no harm on his abilities thus far. It had been most noticeable the previous night though when himself, JJ and Garcia had went to a movie and he’s started to fall asleep, luckily JJ balanced between gently jostling him awake or just letting him get some shut eye for a few minutes to which he was very grateful. 

As it was however it was the next day and he had a regular day of work to get ready for but he felt so sleepy he kept hitting snooze, he was at his own place though he wished he was at Aaron’s, as much as he loved his own place, sometimes nothing beat waking up to those strong arms around him. The shirt helped, still kept and there to remind him of the man. As he hit snooze yet again he contemplated getting up, he had plenty of time since his alarm was set rather early but it was still far behind his usual habits, but he slowly started to notice a sickly feeling in his throat.

Tiredly he ignored it for a moment, feeling a bit like acid reflux or heart burn but nothing too bad, and that gross sensation just sat there for a few minutes until suddenly there was a need to retch, Spencer feeling himself start to gag and the need to be sick coming on fast and he threw the covers from himself mindlessly just focusing on making it to the bathroom. He made it just in time to bring up yesterday’s food, a horrible heaving as he was sick and muscles convulsing trying to bring everything up. It was strong to the point the genius felt his eyes water naturally and his throat hurt, gripping the seat as the retching continued, bringing up just bile after a while.

By the end of it he felt flushed and dizzy, thoroughly winded and sluggish as he tried to find his bearings again. He remained kneeling, afraid to sit both for his lack of balance and in case any more needed to come up, as he caught his breath which was coming in ragged and sore. Faintly he heard his snoozed alarm going off again from the bedroom and he let it beep, unsure of his wobbly legs and another wave did hit though not so hard this time, just small amounts of bile left. 

Counting the times his alarm repeated itself he was sat there for twenty five minutes before feeling even remotely better from the dizziness, his breathing starting to even and while his stomach ached and was very sore from the vomiting he wasn’t gagging anymore. Rubbing his tummy to ease the discomfort he made himself stand on shaky legs and the effort it took was exhausting and he just wanted to curl up and sleep again. 

He hadn’t eaten anything out of the ordinary, except rather normal cafe food from another state they’d been to for a case and while he had no reason to believe it was harmful it was the only thing ‘new’ he could reason made him sick or maybe it was just a bug. Regardless with achey twitching muscles he flushed it away and went on to wash his face and hands, brushing his teeth and feeling much better though still a bit warm though it was possibly just from the exertion.

Sometimes people got sick or things just didn’t agree with their stomachs, once in a blue moon it was perfectly normal so he wasn’t alarmed by it. So as his stomach eased he made himself start his morning, not exactly how he had hoped his sleepy morning would go but oh well, he was up now. He was getting dressed when he heard his phone going off, checking the name he smiled to himself taking a few deep breaths he settled any remaining sickly feeling and answered “h-hey Aaron” always happy to hear that voice.

“Morning, how did the movies go last night?” Hotch asked warmly though he did catch Spencer’s voice sounded a little dry, maybe a bit breathless but he had been more tired lately and he might have not long woken up. 

“Uh yeah…good fun,” Spencer managed to say but suddenly felt another wave of nausea and tried to ignore it, hoping it would pass “we went to see the n-new b-” he couldn't finish as pressure in his throat built up and he feared he might throw up again.

“Spencer?” Aaron said concerned and Spencer as always hated having the man worry after him so he tried to reply “uh, I’m…I’m fine, j-” however he couldn't fight it, the need to vomit returning and quickly so he dropped the phone to the bed and dashed to the bathroom again, hoping Aaron couldn’t hear too much as another round of retching started though it was mostly empty or what little his stomach could conjure up which hurt. 

From the other end of the call Hotch was worried, Spencer had sounded distracted and not like himself and was wondering what was wrong, he couldn't hear much but some faint noises he couldn't quite make out and while he did ask “Spencer? what’s wrong?” to no answer, the man likely far from the device he remained on the line patiently for his lover to return. A full ten minutes later of Hotch getting increasingly concerned and telling himself he should drive over there to check on his boyfriend the genius finally picked put he phone again though he sounded groggy.

“H-hey…” Spencer said breathily “sorry, I’m uh…I’m not well this morning…” Spencer mumbled, clearly in a bit of discomfort and a pang in his chest made Aaron wish he was there with him.

“Are you alright, what’s the matter?” he asked trying to sound calmer than he was.

Spencer meanwhile was sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands waiting for the room to stop spinning as he replied “I’m just really nauseous…it’ll pass, I’m sure. sorry to worry you…”

“Don’t apologise for being unwell” Aaron said softly, wishing he could just give the man a hug and he sounded a little down with the morning he was having “maybe you should take the day off?” 

Spencer thought about it, he almost never took a sick day and he didn’t have any other symptoms, he felt warm but not to the point he had a worrying temperature or fever, no cough or sneezing, no other tummy upsets and he was already feeling better nausea wise, like it just was fading away as suddenly as it appeared though his stomach still ached and his head a little light. 

“I’ll see if it goes away in the next half hour before I start calling in sick…” Reid replied and luckily he really did start to feel better and changed the subject, returning to the earlier question and started talking about the movie he saw with friends the previous night. Aaron did his best to listen but couldn’t quite get relaxed into the conversation, he hoped Spencer was right and would be feeling better soon and didn’t press him about it, so long as it went away soon they had nothing to worry about…


	13. You Okay, Sleepyhead?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer's symptoms continue and others are starting to notice.

On a case the team had already made a lot of progress in the investigation and had had to call it a night, this time however there weren’t quite enough rooms to go around in the small town during their busiest season however Hotch had his own as chief and the others divided into pairs, Rossi and Morgan in one, JJ and Emily in another and finally Spencer and Gideon in the last room. As they were retiring for the night and heading up from the lobby Rossi said quietly to Hotch“you know we wouldn't judge if you two wanted to share, right?” implying there was no harm in being honest with the scenario.

Hotch smiled though didn’t indulge and said “this is professional setting, so we’re on a professional setting…” 

Morgan who was close behind chuckled and chimed “yeah, we’re not all you Rossi, your name is like a magic word in HR” which Rossi couldn’t deny. 

Meanwhile Spencer was mid ramble about statistics as he often was to JJ and Gideon in a pleasant conversation and he was feeling much better than in the morning, it was like his nausea had just disappeared, there was a little heartburn but nothing really and he’d managed to eat which helped his energy get back up. He could only hope whatever had upset his stomach was dealt with and focus on the case, however the fatigue was still present and he was definitely looking forward to some shuteye.

The moment he and Gideon reached the room they went to each of their beds and Spencer unpacked a couple things but was mostly just looking forward to sleep and so he was quick to change into sleepwear in the bathroom while Gideon hadn’t even finished taking his shoes off “you tired, Reid?” Jason asked the young agent as he removed both shoes and went to sit comfortably on his bed with a book, clearly not planning on retiring for the night as quickly as Spencer.

“Yeah, don’t know why but just been sleepy the last little while” Spencer mused innocently but didn’t make a big deal about it and as if to emphasise his statement he tried to stifle the yawn but failed and eventually had to give in as he climbed into his own bed and picked up his phone which he would almost never do except to check on anything from Aaron. 

Gideon’s eyes continued to watch the young agent, his behaviour having changed as of late and he did seem a little under the weather lately and he hoped there was no stress involved “I’m sure you’ll find your feet,” he said kindly as the older man placed his spectacles on and opened his book. “Speaking of which, you’re doing great work out there…”

Spencer just smiled and replied “th-thanks” and after that Gideon left him to it, the young genius sending a couple texts with Aaron most likely before getting ready to sleep and turning off his bedroom lamp and in no time that genius head was off to dream land. 

Gideon spent a while reading before deciding to have a short little revision of the profile and evidence and make just a few notes when he realised his document was incomplete and some of the photographs were missing, recalling that Spencer was the last to have them he stood and went over to the young agent’s bag with was open on the dresser. They’d worked together long enough that neither thought much about going into the others bag to retrieve useful information and Spencer was just as welcome to do so with him and neither disturbed the others personal property and respected privacy so no active snooping.

As such Gideon expected to just have a quick in and out to get the file and photographs however instead he found the file but still couldn’t locate the images which were small and could be anywhere, so in a purely practical manner Gideon looked to the small internal pocket of the bag and unzipped it to look inside and paused as he saw tampons there. The older man paused and his brows furrowed, not because of the implication of course since he was one of the few who knew Spencer’s sex, but it struck him as odd for several reasons. 

Firstly this wasn’t some new discovery, in fact he had seen the items a couple of weeks ago the last time he had to search for something in the genius’ bag - the oddity lay in the fact that they were _still_ there and unused. They could be new ones but it it was unusual for someone to need such products for over two weeks and in all the times he’d looked to Spencer’s belongings he’d never seen them before while working, nor was Spencer in the habit of taking his bag to the restroom to subtly use anything of the sort and as he recalled Spencer’s bag had sat prominently on a desk at the station most of the day. 

Spencer was also very neat and practical, bordering on OCD in many things like how liked his desk and organising his books - as such the genius always, always, always had a fit for purpose bag. No ‘maybe I have a pen’ pondering, he either knew if he did or if he didn’t, he knew exactly what was there and he only ever packed what he needed, no junk or build up of thoughtless cargo. So if those tampons were there they were there for a reason and yet they were unused - which would make sense in one regard - being overly cautious, especially given the relatively new relationships with the team and what stress being caught out would have. 

Therefore it stood to reason that Spencer had enough reason to believe he could have his period yet didn’t actually have it. Gideon didn’t mean to think so long on this of course, it was none of his business frankly and Spencer might feel a little embarrassed to think of his mentor pondering over such a thing but like anything puzzling the reasons all sort of clashed to him and he couldn't help but try and solve it, not the reasonings around the items as much the simple fact that Spencer always packed this bag efficiently to a fault and therefore it was strange. 

That on top of his poorly health kind of reminded him of his ex-wife when she was pregnant with Steven, even though she was pregnant she was scared of ‘spotting’ which to a young Jason Gideon in very different times to the modern openness about the female biology had been news to him. She’d been fatigued, sore and nauseous and definitely pregnant and yet her sanitary products were firmly in her purse, he smiled to himself a little at the unexpected way in which he was reminded of such a thing but that was how the memory worked, little things however random could trigger them.

Shaking them from his thoughts, it wasn’t like it was any of his business to ask and it wasn’t a big deal regardless Jason zipped up the pocket again and continued looking, eventually finding the small stack of photographs to look over. How silly, he thought, letting his mind wander so much just by seeing a couple of period products. Besides it wasn’t like the genius could be pregnant…right? Jason’s brows furrowed on his way back to his bed and he looked over to the sleeping genius unaware of his mentor’s gaze.

Technically…Spencer _could_ be. Jason realised that and while he told himself it was highly unlikely, near impossible, and he certainly shouldn't be assuming such from the finding of tampons, which were if anything the absolute opposite indicator…he couldn’t help but compare the genius’ symptoms. The young genius was constantly tired, and suddenly exhausted at almost random times, it wasn’t necessarily tied to being more or less active either. He’d clearly been experiencing a few aches lately, the younger had noticeably been struggling with his posture and lower back, maybe his hips but again that could be period related rather than pregnancy.

He’d mentioned a bit of heart burn earlier too which was unlike him and the moment Hotch had seen the genius this morning the boss had asked ‘are you feeling any better?’ and had mentioned a couple of times to ‘take it easy’, whether that was due to unwell symptoms he hadn’t witnessed yet he didn’t know. It was just odd since this was the first time he’d ever seen any evidence to this sort of thing about the genius of any kind, he presumed the kid didn’t have periods or didn't have symptoms at all obvious, and yet only now was he showing anything. 

The only things that had changed really were the change in job which he doubted would would make such a significant difference especially as he was thriving in the new environment and so the biggest change was Spencer’s relationship with Hotch. It wasn't hard to guess when they started to be sexually active either and just as Gideon felt himself jumping to wild conclusions he stopped himself and snapped out of his natural puzzle-solving ways. 

So what if the thought had occurred to him? He wasn’t about to bring it up, either there was absolutely nothing to it and he was just seeing things that weren't there or the kid knew and wasn’t telling him which he would respect or he would figure it out soon enough, regardless there was no need to get so personal. He was just being silly, he told himself. Besides he hadn’t even seen Spencer have morning sickness or anything of the sort…

* * *

Meanwhile Hotch was in his room, just glad that whatever made Spencer under the weather that morning didn’t seem to cling the rest of the day, the only thing left was the sleepiness but they didn't mind that especially as the genius was so active it barely made a difference to work. It was hard to believe there was ever a team without Reid, he fit in so well and that mind like a missing piece to complete the group.

He’d shared a couple texts with his boyfriend asking if he was still feeling better from the morning which he was however Spencer also said he was tired and going to bed early which made Hotch wonder if he should see a doctor, but he would wait to see after the case if there was further improvement. Taken from his thoughts he was distracted by a call from Strauss, the woman saying she would be in attendance on their next case which was a pain in the neck. 

They didn’t have anything to worry about, she wanted Reid on the team anyway she was just going through the formalities to get everything approved and reports written up so nothing could come back and bite her on the ass for not doing her due diligence. But it did remind him of how protective he’d gotten on a previous case, Spencer having to interrogate someone and Hotch was tense the whole time, he’d got a little teasing from Rossi and Gideon over it but more affectionate than anything problematic. 

After his call with Strauss he texted Reid, Gideon and Rossi about it, Rossi was nonchalant about it and Spencer there was no response, true to his word likely sleeping already. However Gideon replied saying ‘Got it, you’ll do fine. I’ll tell Reid when he wakes up’ which only confirmed it since they were sharing a room together.

He wrestled with himself a little on whether to ask Gideon something or not but he figured if it was any other team member seeming poorly he would ask too, so replied ‘Thanks. Do you know if he’s feeling alright? He was a little unwell this morning and he doesn't like to worry me.’

It was a minute later as Hotch prepared to take a shower that Gideon replied ‘Yeah, tired though. What do you mean ‘unwell’ this morning?’

With a small sigh Aaron text back ‘It was probably just some food didn’t agree with him, never mind. Night.’ not wanting to discuss too much without Spencer’s consent. He received a similar closing text back and tried to shake it from his mind and as he exited the message thread he went to see the picture of Spencer again making him smile. By now however he was able to flick through a few including a couple cue ones with Jack too, the young genius a real joy in his life and it just made him think more on how he wanted Spencer to feel totally better. So long as Spencer was alright was all that mattered.

* * *

As morning arrived Spencer heard Gideon’s alarm going off, the man an even earlier riser than the him and was known to sometimes go for a walk or bird watch if the view from the window was nice enough which is happened to be. Ignoring the sounds of the older man getting up and ready for the day Spencer knew he could wait for his alarm set a fair bit later but still in plenty of time for work, maybe even a little room to hit snooze a couple of times. He shifted a little, a light cramp making him want to change position, it was frustrating to have them still around and since cramps were often a symptom of a period he didn't feel safe removing the tampons from his bag despite not having to use them. 

Dozing a little more, only vaguely aware of the other agent in the room Spencer tried to ignore the small burning sensation in his throat, the heartburn returning and he hoped it would go away soon or not get as bad as before however he felt a wave of nausea and it had him stirring more awake at the unpleasant feeling. Not having rubbed the sleep from his eyes the genius sat up groggily before another wave hit and this time he felt like he might be sick and made his way to the bathroom with urgency.

Closing the door behind him he just made it to the toilet bowl before he started bringing up food from yesterday, a horrible retching sound as his stomach emptied its contents and he felt his muscles spasm and his stomach feel sore from throwing up. After a few waves hit him and all he had left was bile Spencer tried to take calming breaths, the nausea able to totally floor him so suddenly it was really frustrating but he couldn’t quite think straight - so dizzy and warm while the room spun.

After a few more minutes and getting his bearings the genius cleaned himself up on wobbly legs and had to wait for several lighter waves to pass, praying he didn’t have to be sick again since his tummy hurt so much already from it. Eventually he felt it safe and that it had passed though he felt like crap and was able to return to the room. As he did so Gideon was by the window though he was looking at the genius and understandably so, the sounds would have left nothing to the imagination.

“You alright there, Spencer?” he asked, though sympathetic he didn’t seem overly surprised.

“Uh y-yeah…” Spencer managed, a little out of breath “just a little nauseous, it’s nothing” he said before slumping over by his own bed, trying to get the energy to make himself face the day and get dressed which as easier said than done.

“Hm” Gideon said but didn’t elaborate more on whatever he was suddenly thoughtful about,  and instead just said softly “hopefully it lightens up soon, kiddo.”

* * *

A few days later on the jet home, case solved and lives saved Spencer and Aaron sat side by side across from Morgan and Prentiss, the four playing poker and the genius able to win in his sleep, which he very almost was given how tired he was. After raising the pot and the others slowly chose whether to call or fold Spencer zoned out a little, heavy eyelids dropping that little bit and started to nod off against Aaron’s shoulder adorably. 

Hotch chuckled a little, very tempted to just let him continue but he was literally in the middle of a game so he turned to his shoulder and chimed “you okay, sleepyhead?” lightly stirring the genius whom answered with a tired “hmm?” before realising he had started to fall asleep.

Morgan chuckled across from them with “this guy’s half asleep and he’s still taking our money” gesturing tot he game which the young agent was winning by a mile which made the group laugh a little. Spencer smiled a little sheepishly and they continued with the game until they realised they were just handing him their money and they went to chill out for the rest of the flight. Morgan went to his own space to listen to music and Emily moved across to the next set of seats to chat with JJ while Hotch stayed with the sleepy genius.

They spoke for a while and eventually Aaron started making some calls for work and Spencer started to read a book but fell asleep on Aaron’s shoulder soon after and while Aaron did feel a little concerned at the seemingly chronic fatigue of his partner lately the image of his snoozing was too adorable not to smile at. Even Emily to the side of them cooed “aw that is so cute…” and JJ smiled warmly following her gaze to the sight of the genius snuggled against their often serious boss. 

Hotch guided the book from Spencer’s hands carefully before moving keeping his place with the bookmark and placing it to the side “this is his third book of the day on top of the casework” he mused and the girls giggled “he’s been a little tired lately, I’ll let him sleep” he said softly, not having the heart to move him.

“Oh sure, like you’re not enjoying this” Prentiss teased and Aaron couldn’t deny at least part of it.

“That too” he admitted and after that the girls left him to it, Aaron’s dark eyes looking at his boyfriend. He hoped whatever was troubling him eased up soon, the precious genius having seemed a little uncomfortable lately and a bit groggy and he was just glad Spencer was spending more time with him now the first couple of weeks were passed and they felt comfortable driving into work together so he could keep more of an eye on him.

* * *

Another week had went by, Spencer’s fatigue not gone away but after only a couple bad mornings during the case he hadn’t been physically sick again, a few dangerous waves of nausea or heart burn but nothing that sent him running to the restroom thankfully. Gideon wasn’t on any more cases with them though he did ask to run some things by Reid from time to time like reports and studies which he was happy to do. 

So it was one shared morning Aaron and Spencer lay in bed together, Hotch spooning his boyfriend and his face nestled into messy brown hair comfortably as they both dozed on a day off. It had been a rather chill week, no more cases whisking them off and the team focused on reports across their desks more than anything else and by extension it had been a little easier on the genius.

In a sudden jostling Aaron blinked out of the doze, one moment he was cuddling with the genius and the next he was empty handed, no Spencer to be seen except for the closing of the ensuite door, warmth still in the sheets but quickly growing cold. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Hotch sat up trying to get through the sudden confusion when he heard a retching noise from the bathroom and a jolt of worry hit him and he got up towards the door.

The sound told him exactly what to expect but he did give at least a little warning to the young genius and knocked “Spencer, I’m coming in, alright?” and he didn’t expect a response given the situation before opening the door. Spencer was on the floor, curled up somewhat as his stomach hurt understandably and head over the toilet bowl, face hidden by his wavy hair and breathing harshly from being sick. The young man was still nude from their previous night and was shivering but not from the cold, just the horrible feeling under waves of nausea and Aaron was quick to comfort him. 

Tenderly holding back his hair and soothing down his back he said some soothing nothings but most of all just waited with him for the sickness to pass which took a fair while, what was possibly more concerning was how dizzy he was Aaron was pretty sure the genius couldn’t stand by himself as he was. 

A quiet groan left the young agent, it was close to a whine and clearly he was uncomfortable and likely a bit frustrated so Aaron remained just comforting through it and being there for him. By the time it finally stopped Spencer was flushed and his head spinning, but Aaron asked him several times if he was sure the nausea had passed but the dizziness hadn’t and Aaron wanted to get him off the cold, hard floor. He was pretty sure if Spencer was on his own he would just be lying there on his own until he could pick himself up and a pang of worry hit his chest wondering if Spencer had done so without telling him given he was still sick from a couple weeks ago.

So wobbly on his feet Aaron had to help him to the sink as he cleaned up and afterwards carried him bridal style over to the bed, a slight sweat to his brow but from the exertion not any fever, jittery but no chills. Spencer lay on his side and curled up again, his tummy sore from throwing up so much and he had half a mind to feel a bit embarrassed, the sight Aaron got of him hardly an attractive one. But he knew better than that by now and especially as Hotch sat by him on the bed and rubbed his back affectionately, sometimes stroking his hair tenderly to try and sooth what he could. 

After a while the room stopped spinning quite so much and his breathing evened, he didn’t look quite so pale in the face so Hotch gave him a sympathetic glance “you just rest, sweetheart…” which received a meek nod, clearly not feeling great “how long has that been now, the nausea?” he checked.

Spencer paused but no point in being dishonest, “th-three weeks…” he grumbled, his throat burning and as he saw Aaron sigh to himself, taking that in and clearly concerned he added “I…I thought it had went away…”

“Had it?” Aaron asked quietly, not wanting Spencer to feel like he was some little kid in trouble, if he kept something quiet he likely had his reasons and he had a tendency to try and not worry others about him. “I’m just worried about you…” Aaron confessed.

Hearing the tone of Aaron’s voice he felt a little guilty but spoke the truth “I’ve felt queazy and l-like I've had heart burn…the whole time…but n-not been physically sick for all of it…”

“Was it just this morning and during our call after you went to the movies with JJ?” he asked specifically.

“During the case too…” Reid mumbled, feeling a little sorry for himself “just a couple times.”

Aaron looked over the lithe man, he looked so small curled up and tired as he was and Aaron just wished there was something he could do to ease what he was going through though he also couldn't stop wondering what the cause was, at first he made himself be hopeful it was as the genius said, something he ate or a bug, but the longer it went on and the constant fatigue was alarming. 

With a small sigh he said something the genius probably didn’t want to hear “I think you should see a doctor…” and true enough the genius seems to go quiet, they’d never talked about it and while they tried not to profile each other too much Hotch had a suspicion that Spencer didn’t like hospitals. It made sense, between his mother’s illness and being beat up in school, not to mention the incident that landed him in the emergency room it was a place he only had to go to for some of the hardest things he was dealing with. The genius didn’t respond so he pressed “Spencer?”

“It’s…it’s not like I’m nauseous _all_ the time, its just _sometimes…_ ” he tried but even the genius knew he likely wasn’t getting out of going.

Softly Hotch ran his fingers though wavy locks affectionately as he spoke “I know…but it’s been a while and it’s important, I just want to know you're healthy and if there is something we need to know what it is.”

Spencer remained lying on the bed, a hand going to sooth his sore stomach as Hotch comfortingly leaned down to kiss his hair, “fine” the genius replied though not enthusiastically. 

Both were brought out of their conversation as Hotch’s phone rang, answering the call didn’t take long as JJ informed about a case and Aaron explained that there was no need to call Spencer and that he would do so, though as he hung up and thought about it he said “you should take a sick day…” and while he expected Spencer to be reluctant he didn’t expect something so specific and yet spoken surely to come from his genius.

“It’ll go away by the hour, it always does” Spencer answered like to say such a thing wasn’t that odd and Aaron’s brows furrowed in thought.

It was a small idea, very simply, that Spencer’s symptoms sounded a little like those of...pregnancy. At first the thought was like a whisper in the back of his mind but slowly it got louder, and he only knew of fatigue and the sudden nausea with more regular heartburn, there were a million other things it could be but the fact that Spencer knew it would go away and there seemed to be a particular time of day for it to crop up was a little too specific for him to ignore the idea. 

However Spencer seemed determined to go to work and feeling much better after his rest got up from the bed and went to get dressed, Aaron left trying to find his voice. Even if he could talk Spencer into staying home Hotch _had_ to go on the case, suddenly dropping a ‘hey you could be pregnant’ was not a good idea to just throw at the genius before running off or for Spencer to suddenly have to focus on work until they got back. 

Especially since he could easily be wrong, as Spencer had said it was a very low likelihood of him being able to conceive without medical help so it actually probably wasn’t the case - he was basing this idea mainly on the suddenness of the nausea and it was easily so many other things rather than pregnancy. But still, he needed to mention it at some point but when they actually had enough time to discuss it, he had a feeling Spencer would need someone to talk to even at the slim possibility of it and now wasn’t the time.

It also then dawned on him then that Strauss would be accompanying them and it would look very suspicious if Spencer was suddenly ill and couldn’t attend, or if they were talking about such a personal matter that it might be the one topic that could make them and their relationship stand out during work in a way she wouldn’t be very approving. At least not without explaining everything to her and Spencer wouldn’t want that on such a vulnerable subject.

Spencer was dressed in no time and Aaron tried to shake the idea from his mind, at least for now, to wait until they could have the time and space to discuss it sensitively “okay…are you sure you’ll feel better?” and Spencer nodded “I’m actually feeling a lot better already” he chimed and Aaron couldn't argue with it “right…if I tell you to take it easy you do so, okay?” Aaron gave as a condition “I say that as your boyfriend and head of the BAU, you need to be safe…”

Statistically Spencer being pregnant was near impossible, from the fertility issue, then that they’d only had once instance of a condom splitting that they knew of and they were careful, and what would be the odds of him ovulating at that one time? It was ridiculously low so he had to tell himself it was just one of many possibilities and a low one at that, it just happened to strike him as a little familiar since he had seen Hayley’s morning sickness. Also, maybe it was just his like of children, which was part of the reason he chose not to dwell on it, Spencer was just under the weather and he didn't need to go getting his hopes up of some medical improbability.

Spencer was visibly better than just moments ago, and even in a better mood since the nausea and dizziness faded replying cheekily “got it… _boss_ ” with a small smirk.

Hotch chuckled and replied “call me that another time we don't have a case” half jokingly implying hearing ‘boss’ said like that was rather fun, even sexy, which earned a giggle before he did his duty as a good boyfriend and reminded “and the moment we get back you're making an appointment with the doctor…”


	14. If I Didn't Know Any Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer's having a tough time.

On the case Hotch did his best to put what happened the morning before to the back of his mind, Spencer’s nausea did pass as he said it would though a little queazy at times but he was taking it easy as Aaron had said to do. Strauss being in attendance didn’t help, the woman taking notes and not the most suited person to the environment such as seeing the bodies and definitely stepped on the toes of the local authorities but Rossi’s presence helped keep things light overall. 

Everyone was their own room this time, Hotch at the end of the hall near Strauss and then Rossi, Spencer’s room was in between Morgan’s room and JJ’s room with Emily across from them, given the thin walls Spencer was glad that for the first couple of days there hadn’t been any throwing up since before the case started. The third day and they'd had several breakthroughs despite Strauss hanging around the periphery and luckily she’d not found much of note so far specifically about Hotch and Reid’s relationship while on the job but that was to be expected. 

Lunch was brought into the station to work through as they ate, Hotch, JJ and Rossi were still out handling a couple of tasks while Spencer worked up a geographical profile of the unsubs, unfortunately that meant he was in the presence of Strauss as she ate her meal, Morgan and Emily at their own desks eating theirs as they went through witness statements and files. However as much as Spencer felt his stomach was empty he ended up picking at his food, no appetite and actually a bit sickly at the idea despite having been so hungry moments ago at the mere idea of food. 

The older woman’s eyes were watchful and imposing making the young genius feel awkward so he put down his fork so he wasn’t playing with his food and instead looked to the maps and crime scene information and Strauss rather sharply spoke “you’ll need to eat, Dr Reid…you’re a very active agent on this team, we don’t want you running on empty.” 

“W-we’re all very active agents on this team” Spencer said, as though he shouldn’t be singled out and she gave a small nod but didn't correct her statement, her attention went where she might look the most impressive out of it and at least for now the impressive young genius was it. “I’m just wanting to catch this unsub and not particularly hungry” he excused though he really didn’t have to answer to her like he was some child not eating his greens in front of his mother. 

“Are you stressed, Dr Reid?” she asked a little pointedly, wondering if stress was the cause for the loss of appetite that could somehow be tied to Aaron or some disfunction with the team..

“Wh-what? No ma'am…” he stuttered but his tone was honest “I had a big breakfast, n-no big deal” he lied and dismissed, truth was he was hungry according to his stomach and tiredness but his brain just was thoroughly turned off and he felt a bit gross at the idea of eating just then. 

She seemed to shrug it off and return to her own lunch and while hazel eyes did look back at his now sorry looking food he felt a little queazy and closed the lid on it’s container so he didn’t even have to look at it.

Later in the day Hotch split tasks for people, Spencer and Morgan off to the newest crime scene and himself handling things at the stations amongst other agents on tasks and Strauss stayed in the station also. Hotch’s dark eyes looked over Spencer’s geographic profile he’d made and used it to organise where to send patrol cars however he also couldn't help but notice the young man’s trash had his lunch in it practically untouched and he felt a pang of concern, Spencer managing to hide his nausea of heart burn rather well if it was still strong enough to make him not want to eat.

He couldn’t dwell on it however as Strauss walked up to him, her arms folded and she asked “tell me, Agent Hotchner, do you keep yourself and Dr Reid separated because you can’t work close together?” again her tone was rather strong and implying a lack of professionalism. 

Aaron however bit his tongue to make some snide remark but instead answered “not at all, Reid’s eyes are great at the scene and his specialties like linguistic or geographical profiling is often more of a solitary task at least in the brunt work part of our work, meanwhile I’m best to set up rapport with the authorities and maintain such” his reasoning clear and sound. 

She mulled over his words and assessed them, probably more for how she could expand on such a thought in her report and true enough out came her little notebook and she seemed much lighter “very good” she said firmly. “I hope you don’t mind but I will be asking others on the team for a little input” she said though it wasn’t really a question “however I don’t see much point in sticking around too long, you’re clearly handling this professionally and I will likely arrange my own way back to Quantico rather than wait out the remainder of the case.”

That was the first thing she'd said all day that brought any kind of relief and Aaron didn’t argue “alright, feel free to ask the team anything you wish and safe flight” he said, clearly looking forward to her gone. She didn’t mention it further and went to find someone, likely JJ or Emily to ask a few questions and get the beginnings of her report on paper. 

* * *

Spencer got to his room at the hotel at the end of the day, Aaron had been pretty caught up at the station and probably wouldn’t be retiring for the night until much later which made him feel a little lonely, he had kind of hoped to at least have a chat or wind down a bit before the fatigue won out. Unfortunately the genius would have to sleep, his fatigue still very much present especially with how little he managed to eat the whole day only having had part of his dinner and a small muffin to get through the day so he was running on empty.

He did think he could order room service but he felt his heartburn was worse and it rarely stayed with him into the evening yet here it was, making his throat feel tight and a queazy unease in his tummy. He’d only been sick in the mornings so far and he hoped it wasn’t about to appear at other times with a small sense of dread, and it only took a couple minutes of trying to ignore the sickly feeling for him to start gagging and he dashed to the bathroom. 

The walls were thin and so Spencer wasn’t that surprised to hear someone at his room door after a few minutes of retching, Morgan rooming next door having realising the sound and came through to check on him. The bathroom door was open so as Derek walked through he got a clear sight of the genius throwing up feeling a bit miserable on the tiled floor and asked “hey man, you okay?”  though he didn’t expect him to answer.

Spencer was taking deep breaths and was clearly a bit dizzy as he grumbled “y-yeah…just…” before another wave made his voice take a back seat and he had to wait for the nausea to pass “just got a bug or s-something…” he murmured before the wave came back and this time he was ill, Derek stepping forward and lending a friendly hand to keep his long hair back and out of the way. He was only brining up bile by this point but it hurt and he couldn’t stop the retching, in short - he felt like crap and quietly he muttered “s-sorry t-to troub-”

“Reid I’ve held enough people’s hair on nights out over a few drinks, this is nothing” he said firmly “you just take your time” he encouraged and Spencer felt a little less awkward about it. Eventually he felt at least a bit better, though his stomach muscles ached from throwing up and he was a little light headed, and Morgan stayed with him as he drank some water, cleaned up a bit and walked him over to he bed.

“Uh th-thanks Morgan” Spencer said, clearly a bit winded and very tired, maybe feeling a little down too.

“Do you want me to call Hotch for you?” Derek offered, to didn’t take a genius to see the older man made the good doctor calm and happier but Spencer shook his head, Aaron still having some work to do.  “If you say so, but I don’t have to keep this a secret, do I?” the agent asked, not exactly wanting to keep such a thing from Hotch both as a boss and as the genius’ boyfriend. 

“N-No, he knows…going to see a doctor after this case…” Spencer informed and Morgan nodded, he didn’t pry into it especially since the young agent looked ready to just pass out and sleep so he stuck around and made friendly chat until he was sure the nausea wasn’t going to crop up again and was guaranteed the genius was just going to go to bed after he left. He felt a bit sorry for the kid, he did look a bit miserable so exhausted and feeling unwell but he didn’t push it by asking loads of questions.

* * *

At breakfast in the hotel lounge Morgan told Hotch what occurred the previous night and they were joined late by Spencer who then proceeded to barely touching his food, Morgan flashed the couple a smile before heading off back to his room and leaving Aaron to address it if he wished. Looking to the young agent Hotch felt a pang in his chest, he just looked so tired and down, a slight pout on his lips as he struggled with even looking at his breakfast.

“You need to eat” Aaron said softly, if Spencer was ill last night on top of skipping lunch yesterday he was going to be feeling awful today.

Spencer’s big hazel eyes looked to Aaron’s dark ones as he replied honestly “…I’ll just throw it up” and his tone wasn’t defiant, it was tired and he clearly wanted to eat he just didn’t feel like he could. 

They were rather private where they sat and Strauss was nowhere to be seen so Aaron reached over to take his lover’s hand in his, caressing it with his thumbs and giving a comforting squeeze. Spencer smiled despite how he was feeling, Aaron’s touch always welcome and he said “I’m okay…I just…you’re right, I should see a doctor when we get back” not fighting the idea any more and it helped ease Aaron’s nerves a little however it was quickly followed by “I still want to work the case though…” and those big doe eyes were hard to disappoint.

With a small sigh Aaron said “I’d prefer if you stayed in the room, but if I can’t convince you otherwise just promise me the moment you feel up to eating anything you do it, okay?” he compromised, knowing the young agent could be rather driven when he wanted to be “I don’t care what task you have to pause, if you can eat - make a stop, got it?” he said firmly, no room for argument.

Nodding Spencer said “got it” and Aaron thought to discuss it, to ask about any other symptoms and get a better idea of how much was bothering the genius but Strauss made her appearance, talking with Emily and Rossi and taking notes so he decided against it. However he did make a mental note to inform JJ, between her and Morgan they would be able to keep an eye out for Spencer during the case.

* * *

Spencer and JJ went to interview a witness, and while Spencer bit his tongue about how Aaron was clearly putting him on easy jobs since interviewing the witness really didn’t take two agents but he never minded spending time with the blonde. They were quickly good friends and she even called him ‘Spence’ for short which was sweet, so the pair went to talk to a woman placed at the scene of the previous crime.

The moment the woman opened her door the waft of stale cigarette smoke and weed were thick in the air, petrol too and while it was something he would usually be able to handle just fine he had to take a step back at the sudden wave of nausea. The stench only intensified as the woman spoke, whatever she’d eaten on her breath and that same smoke stained smell in her clothes too and the genius tried not to let it show on his face how much it was affecting him. 

JJ spoke clearly and Spencer managed to ask a couple of questions when he felt like he could be sick and had to try to be polite through it and JJ looked at him, able to tell there was something wrong and having been told how poorly he was said casually “you’re looking a little pale, Spence, how about you head to the car” with a small smile and he gave a nod. As the witness said ‘thank you, agent’ her breath made him almost gags but he kept it from being too noticeable and excused himself with haste. 

Jennifer continued to get the witness statement and after a few minutes she was heading back to the car but there was no sign of her coworker, however as she looked around she eventually spotted Spencer around the corner of the carpark throwing up. Walking over she gave an apologetic smile, sorry for her friend being in sick and there wasn’t even much coming up anymore but his muscles were still trying and she waited for him to finish, a hand on his back and patient.

Taking deep breaths the young man tried to get passed that burning, sickly feeling and eventually  he got at least a little colour back in his face and no more waves of nausea remained so she felt comfortable saying softly “come on, let’s get somewhere to chill out for a while.” 

“I-I’ll be fine” he replied breathlessly and she just gave him a look like he wasn’t getting out of it and he nodded, both heading back to the car.

Reid went a little quiet as JJ called into Hotch to mention they were taking their break and Spencer suddenly felt frustrated and a bit like crying, like when he wasn’t battling waves of nausea it just got replaced by emotion and he had to blink the tears away but he did manage to keep them back. What was wrong with him? On top of the sickness, the fatigue and now the irritability the cramps were still around, aches only added to the frustration and everything felt more intense, both emotionally and the touch making him jittery. 

She pressed the button to lower the windows and turned the AC on for plenty of air which helped a lot, and she took her sweet time finding a place so he would have time to calm his stomach before stopping at a diner. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to eat but JJ gave him ‘that look’ again and he went to make sure he felt cleaned up first in the restroom while she put in an order for them. By the time he came back to the table he was a little surprised when all she’d got for him was some iced fruit drink with a straw and she smiled at him.

“Start with this” JJ said “something cool and a bit of sugar, might help” she reasoned and he smiled back at her.

“Thanks JJ” he chimed and accepted the drink, sipping it gently at first he felt the refreshing treat to go down easily and she seemed glad he pepped up even a little.

“Let that line your stomach and you might feel up to something soon” she added and then took his mind off it for a little bit, they talked over the case and some movies and eventually he did manage to eat a light lunch, he was hungry but he was also careful, not wanting to risk just bringing it straight back up again. Moods were lightened and she chimed “you’re looking better already, Spence.”

“I feel better,” he admitted, just glad to have something in his stomach and another iced drink was ordered which he swore he’d never had a better drink in his life. “Sorry if I worried you…I don’t know what’s up with me right now…” he sighed and he would have put his head in his hands if he didn’t enjoy the cool drink so much. 

JJ nodded and asked “if you don’t mind me asking…is it just the nausea? You’ve been really tired lately too” she spoke curiously and out of care, nothing meant by it and just wanting to know how her friend was feeling.

Spencer finished his sip and enjoyed the cool, sugary treat as he answered “it’s a mix of things, really” he opened up a little, he hated making people worry about him but it was happening anyway so as those blue eyes watched him patiently, happy to listen, he gave a small shrug “there’s the nausea, obviously, I’m sleeping plenty…more than usual actually but I’m tired anyway. I uh…” he didn’t want to mention the cramps exactly since they were around his pelvis and while anybody could have cramps he couldn’t help but think of it related to PMT symptoms. “Just some aches…” he said instead “and I guess I’m a little moody too…oh and headaches.”

JJ nodded and smiled, glad the genius was opening up a bit but it also reminded her of something, silly of course given to her knowledge Reid was male but she voiced it anyway “you know…if I didn’t know any better I’d have guessed you're _pregnant_.” 

She expected him to laugh at the absurd comment, she’d meant it as a joke and a pretty light one at that but the moment he heard her he seemed to freeze, as though stunned a little which only confused her for a long moment. “Spence?” she pressed when those hazel eyes seemed to widen and before looking elsewhere, clearly in his own head all of a sudden and he seemed stressed with whatever he was thinking over.

“Uh…” Spencer tried to answer, or at least try and pretend what she’d said hadn’t absolutely stunned him silent but be just couldn’t think, his mind racing fast and yet simultaneously coming up blank “I…I….” and he was at a loss, speechless while his brain tried to focus on the words just spoken.

Spencer felt like he must have heard wrong, like it couldn't possibly make all the sense it clearly did. He couldn’t find the words and he couldn’t even process one concept at a time enough to calm himself, his heart hammering in his chest when he felt under pressure and the longer he couldn't speak the longer the silence was saying everything for him.

JJ couldn’t hide her surprise at such a response, something said lightly and they were suddenly in a tense and puzzling situation. Her friend looked deep in thought but blind sighted at the same time, like maybe…she’s on to something? Blue eyes widened at the realisation and Spencer saw her change in expression, heartbreakingly - looks a little scared “Spence” she spoke softly “…are you?…is it _possible_?” she asked and Spencer wasn't used to someone asking him this sort of question so kindly, her eyes trying to communicate he’s safe with her but it was hard to feel that way.

No matter how much JJ remained calm or what logic Spencer tried to tell himself it was all so much at once. He felt cornered, if he said it was possible, which his reaction was doing for him - it implied his sex to her and he hadn’t been prepared for such a situation, his nerves going into overdrive and he felt like he wanted the world to swallow him up. A hot flush of frustration came too, his sensitivity and moods all ganging up on him at once and he felt like crying again, a pressure behind the eyes that he tried to fight but as he started to well up JJ was quick to comfort. 

“Oh Spence, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you…” and she stood and rounded the small table to him, he felt embarrassed and although no one else was looking he felt very exposed so JJ asked quietly “can I hug you?” and through the emotions he nodded letting her wrap her arms around him. 

She just soothed him as best she could, being a good friend and she felt terribly guilty for having upset him even if she hadn’t meant or known she could have by such a comment. For Spencer he couldn’t think, couldn’t begin to unpack things around such a topic but…it was possible…he could be pregnant. It was highly unlikely, so few people like him were fertile, what were the chances he be one of the small group to be able to conceive naturally? and from only one mishap with the protection he and Hotch were using? It couldn’t be…he was a man of statistics…but…it fit.

Regardless he would have to explain his panic to JJ, how such a random comment had upset him so and she only seemed to be showing how much she cared for him in the vulnerable moment. He couldn’t help the fear creeping up though, his nerves on high alert on top of the overwhelming thoughts around the possibility just suggested to him and another wave of emotion hit and he felt a tear trying to escape and he sniffled despite all his efforts.

“Spence…” JJ said in a soft whisper, hugging him a bit higher and encouraging him to return it and while she was thoroughly surprised to have ended up in this moment she couldn’t deny what was being implied by the young agent’s reaction so she made some things very clear. “Hey…whatever’s happening I'm not gonna judge you, it was an offhanded comment and you don't have to answer anything to me…but I'm here to help if you need me” after she said that Spencer’s arms a little shakily did return the hug, trusting her a little bit more “take all the time you need, just breathe…”


	15. Someday Thinking to Now Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tests.

Eventually through JJ’s calming words Spencer managed to stop the tears but he was always on the edge, the pair sat in the car and she eventually encouraged him to just sit with his thoughts for a while, nothing needed to be said and to have some quiet time in friendly company and it definitely helped. Not in the right peace of mind to work the rest of the day JJ called Hotch to say Spencer was feeling unwell and she would be accompanying him back to the hotel and understandably the boss was concerned.

Spencer listened from the passenger seat, glad JJ wasn’t making it sound too dramatic over the call and Spencer tried to sort his thoughts out, even hearing Aaron’s voice faintly from JJ’s cell gave him mixed feelings - both enjoying the comfort of it but considering the topic he was currently struggling with the idea of facing his boyfriend so in a muddle made him feel under pressure. He didn’t know what to think! 

“Spence is fine, but he just needs some time today and I’m happy to keep an eye on him for an hour or two” JJ said, keeping her tone light to not make Hotch worry more than necessary “really, he just needs to have a rest” she added and while she tried to avoid it Hotch did ask to speak to him and she couldn’t find an excuse that didn’t make things sound worse so she handed the genius the phone.

“Hey Aaron” Spencer said, voice a little rough but managed to make it sound even despite all the conflicting feelings in his chest. 

“Hey sweetheart” Aaron said and the pet name made his heart flutter, Spencer half felt like just blurting everything out but no words would come and he just tried to stay calm “how are you feeling?” 

He couldn’t make himself say he was fine, he didn’t know what he was feeling, so instead he replied “definitely need a rest…” implying he had fully accepted he wasn’t well and not pushing himself further “but I managed to have lunch so that’s helping” he was able to say positively and it was the truth.

“Good, I’m glad you're taking it easier” Hotch said though he knew it was a double edged sword, if Spencer felt so crappy he was finally taking a sick day it meant he was that sick but on the other hand he wasn’t pretending and making himself work through it in denial anymore.

Trying to distract Spencer asked “what’ll you tell Strauss?”

“You let me handle her,” Aaron said quickly “if anything she’s been rather impressed with the last few days and feeling unwell is just a separate factor so don’t stress it.”

“Okay…you be safe out there” Spencer said with a soft voice and sweetly he heard Aaron reply “you rest, love you” which made him almost feel like tearing up again but he quietly fought the urge and said “love you too, bye” and they ended the call.

Exhaling Spencer slumped into the seat before handing the phone back to JJ who was looking at him with a smile, and not the apologetic or comforting one she’d been using the last little while but it bordered on a grin - she couldn’t help but find the men saying their ‘I love you’s over the call cute and it was definitely comforting to Spencer’s nerves on top of things.

“Let’s head back to the hotel and we can talk over what’s bothering you…” Jennifer spoke kindly and waited for him to nod.

“Th-thanks JJ…and…thanks for being understanding…” Reid added, he hadn’t told her anything since he got upset and overwhelmed by her statement at lunch, he’s just closed up really and yet there she was just being there for him.

“Of course…we’re friends, that's what we do.”

* * *

In Reid’s hotel room the pair sat on the edge of the bed and Spencer was a little jittery while JJ sat patiently with hi as that genius brain waited for the cogs to turn on the rather personal subject. Spencer’s mind couldn’t settle, the moment he thought he had any part of it to grab onto it disappeared, overwhelmed by another thought. It was a big muddle of denial considering how rare it was for someone of Spencer’s sex to be able to conceive without assistance on top of the protection, but his symptoms fit too well not to consider it as a likely answer but he couldn’t just assume so, he had to consider the possibility while also preparing for it to not be the case and he’s still just sick!

But if he _is_ pregnant…well…how did he feel? totally freaked for one answer, in all his reading and all his knowledge babies and pregnancy were a total blank spot, he knew a little on school age children but more from a psychology perspective than a social or practical one. It was just so much to process and on top of that he hadn’t been dieting as he should or taking any supplements, what if he’d done something wrong? What if something went wrong anyway? What if…what if Aaron didn’t want it? They hadn’t spoken about it much, it was only when they had the accident using a condom that Aaron had told him not to worry, whatever happened they’d be fine…but they hadn’t _talked_ about having kids, for all he knew that was just Hotch helping him to stay calm and not overthink things at the time.

JJ could see her friend sitting there all confused and stressed so she reached over and rubbed his back before speaking gently “if you’re ready to talk…it doesn’t have to make much sense and you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to with me Spence…but I care about you,” she said kindly and hazel eyes met blue and she flashed hims supportive smile before adding “or if you'd rather wait until Hotch is off duty I can g-”

“JJ…” he cut her off, not wanting her to think she needed to leave “it’s um…complicated” he said almost inaudibly but she just caught it.

“How so?” she asked, knowing her ‘pregnancy comment’ really got to him, she didn't mean to but the implication from it was rather obvious “look, I don’t know personal details of yours…but…you and Hotch seem like such a good couple,” JJ said, instantly the mention of the older agent seems to make him smile at least a little “you make each other really happy…so whatever’s happening I’m sure he’ll be with you through it” she said firmly “he’s a good man.”

Spencer’s smile stayed a little easier after that, it was sweet to see so she reached over and took his hand in hers in a comforting gesture “if my pregnant comment bothered you, I’m sorry, I didn't mean anything by it…but from how you’ve responded…it _is_ possible?” she asked again, hoping he was at least a little less dumbstruck this time than when they were in the cafe. Slowly, a bit hesitantly, Spencer nodded and it was clear that he felt a bit scared in doing so which made her just want to hug him more. 

For the genius he also felt confused, how were these people so nice? he went through years of being told he was a freak, feeling like he had to hide what he was and now JJ was next to him barely blinking at the sudden revelation and only being very kind to him. JJ would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little surprised but didn't show it, she wasn’t shocked but it was unexpected - more because admittedly a few assumptions had been made on her part. But she specialised in handling people, people of all sorts and she read case after case of so many and not a bit of her minded whatever he may be, she just wished he knew that and could feel secure with her.

“I’m not going to judge you, admittedly I presumed you were cisgendered male, I’m wrong,” she said bluntly and looked him in the eye as she smiled “but now that I know…I want you to know you're safe with me, I don’t see any of the team taking issue with it either…however much you're comfortable sharing I’m happy to listen.”

Spencer looked at his friend and saw how sincere she was and another wave of emotion hit, he felt so sensitive and on edge and while that could be the vulnerability, if she was right, it could be hormonal too but that only made it harder to control. He accepted the hug she gave just then, grateful and relieved by her presence while she was just glad they were finally getting somewhere as he said “it…it makes s-sense…I _could_ be…”

“How much does Hotch know?” she asked, some men not exactly going to ask questions on the topic but Reid nodded.

“He knows it’s not impossible…” and he couldn't find it in himself to explain much more than that as he took a deep breath, “…but…if I am…we didn't plan it…” and however illogical it was he felt a little fear at that, what if Aaron thought he tricked him? Spencer had told Aaron the truth as far as he knew it, that the majority like him needed help to conceive, he was just one of the rare few against the odds and he knew it was silly but his emotions weren’t rational.

“You’re shaking like a leaf” JJ comforted and gave him a side hug, “we don’t even know if you are pregnant…” he reasoned “regardless you should see a doctor but you know that…and if you _are_ …that could be a wonderful thing” she said to be positive although she didn’t know much about his feelings on children.

Blinking tears away Spencer felt a little silly for crying at all, she was right that they didn’t know, but the idea alone was tough to swallow and so the genius took some calming breaths. “I suppose…” he said quietly, not disingenuously just stressed, so he shared “we just…we haven’t talked about it much, I trust Aaron, I just…I wasn't expecting…” he trailed off at a loss.

JJ watched him for distress and while he was emotionally tense he wasn’t panicking like he was before, not feeling scared of her reaction anymore would have taken the pressure off at least a little and starting to talk it out too. “It’s okay to be scared of good things” she said confidently, telling him it’s okay to feel fear even if the news isn't bad, that it was alright to feel conflicted. “It’s important, that makes it scary…Spence…no pressure….but if you want to I’m happy to go buy you a test,” she offered and he looked up at her, those big doe eyes making him look so young and vulnerable she hugged him tighter. “I can be back in five minutes and you can get an idea of what you're dealing with…it might be negative and you can relax a little until you can see a doctor to find out why you're sick, or it’s positive and at least you'll know.”

Thinking about it, how part of the stress was telling himself not to overreact only to feel overwhelmed and therefore actually overreact, and JJ was right. The tears and panic weren’t a rejection, if he was pregnant…it was a good thing, just absolutely terrifying and a big shock, one he’d need to get over if the test was positive. He needs to know. “O-Okay…a test is a good idea” he agreed and she smiled.

“Right, I’ll go out and get one, or a few…and uh…we’ll work things out from there…” she spoke and got up to grab her car keys before turning to him again to emphasise “Hotch _is_ a good guy, a good father too” and that had those hazel eyes a little less stressed “whatever the result he’ll be there for you, I know it,” and the genius smiled, thinking of Aaron seemed to be a kind of cure all for him.

“When you get back…will you stay with me?” Spencer asked, not wanting to be alone.

She just smiled and said “of course, Spence.”

* * *

As Jennifer quickly nipped to the pharmacy she picked up a few different tests to take back, with how vulnerable Reid was feeling he’d want to be absolutely sure so she mixed brands and took them to the register. Waiting in line her phone started to buzz and with a sigh she realised it was Strauss and answered “Strauss, how can I help?”

“Agent Jareau,” the older woman acknowledged “how is Dr Reid, still poorly?”

“Yes ma’am,” she confirmed “I’ll be by in an hour or two to catch up with the case” she started to say but Strauss was quick to interject.

“That’s perfectly fine, agent. I’m just letting you know that I’ll be heading back to Virginia today, I see no need to keep observing as the team has performed well the last few days and I’ll be adding that to my report,” which was a great relief. “Can you put him on the phone?” she asked likely to get a statement from him for her report.

“Well I’m not with him at this moment,” JJ answered and as she looked to the tests in her hands she lied in part “I’m at the pharmacy to pick up some medicine” and luckily she bought that, likely to think its something for nausea or headaches.

“Oh alright, well send my good wishes to Dr Reid” the older woman said and JJ exhaled in relief “good day, agent”.

“I will, thank you ma’am” she said and hung up before it was her turn in the queue, hoping to get back to the hotel asap to be there for her buddy.

* * *

As Spencer stepped out of the ensuite holding three tests he shyly met JJ’s eyes and smile before he walked over to the bed and placed them on the nightstand as they did their thing and the results would be there soon. “How long until the tests are done?” JJ asked softly.

“One is in three minutes and the others are in five minutes” the genius answered and put his head in his hands, exhausted and his nerves shot.

“Okay…we’ll just wait the five and then look at all of them” the blonde said and again put a hand on his back in a soothing manner “it’ll be fine,” she said softly tot ry and ease his nerves but it also occurred to her she hadn't actually asked about his view though it was largely because of his emotional state he couldn't think straight so she asked “do you want kids, just in general?” and her expression held no judgement.

Spencer sat up properly and sighed, an at least slightly warm feeling in his chest amongst the fear “I’ve thought about it from time to time…” he admitted “and…I guess it would be nice…but that ‘someday’ thinking and actually doing it are very different things” he explained, a lot of his anxiety largely down to how the idea was so huge a thing to hit him out of the blue and there was so much to consider rather than it being some terrible thing if he were. 

“I think you'd do great, I hear Jack loves you” she replied with a smile, trying to give him some confidence at least and the fact that Jack was so accepting of him did help, it also occurred to him that Aaron had experience with babies and having a pregnant partner so they weren’t both clueless on the topic. He was just so used to knowing facts and information and yet on this he felt totally out of his depth. 

“Thanks” Spencer managed to say before looking to the woman whom had handled his freak out with grace and treated him well “you’ve been so cool about this…it means a lot.”

JJ smiled wider and said “there’s all sorts of people in the world and you're just my friend who’s super smart and a good person, the rest is just details” she shrugged and she still didn't ask him exactly what his sex was, she didn’t know if he was intersex or trans or whatever else, just being respectful of privacy. “Was that part of why you were so panicked? I’m sorry, that must have been so much pressure on you out of nowhere.”

“Y-You didn't know…and yeah, some people are fine with it…a lot of people are the opposite” Reid said knowing full well how cruel some people could be on the topic.

Looking to the time Spencer tensed, the tests were done and JJ stopped him from getting up, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “You ready?” she asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be” he replied, steeling himself for either result. What if it was negative? all that fuss for nothing and he still wouldn’t know what was wrong with him…and he wouldn’t be pregnant, no baby, and he felt a pang of sadness at the thought which struck him as crazy. Moments ago he was freaking out that there could be a baby and now he’s having to prepare to be ‘let down’? He really didn’t understand things sometimes but regardless he got up and grabbed the tests from the nightstand.

He nearly dropped them when he glanced at the result, JJ could see too as hazel eyes studied each test in turn - all three were _positive_. One spelled out the word pregnant, the other two had lines to indicate the validity of the tests and then the outcome and as he looked at them he felt a rush of emotion and he started to blink away tears. He wasn’t sad - it was just so intense and even the confusing happy flutters brought on the tears and he became quite jittery. JJ stood and hugged him properly, “how do you feel, Spence?” she asked warmly, Spencer didn’t know that she’d caught a smile through the tears in his expression too caught up in his muddled thoughts so she felt alright asking.

He almost laughed at the idea of trying to find an answer to that but managed through the sniffles “uh, I…I don’t rightly know…” as he took a deep shaky breath “…I guess…I’m pregnant…” hearing himself say that at least gave him an answer, closing his eyes for a moment letting it sink in. 

There’s a _baby_ …his and Aaron’s baby…both of their’s, inside him…a mix of happy and scared tears overwhelmed him and JJ just held him through it, the emotional rollercoaster unforgiving but he was quickly realising something. A kind of love or attachment to something, seemingly out of nowhere squeezing his heart and he knew the idea of having a family with Aaron was a good one, something he did want however scary it was. He didn’t know anything about babies, he didn’t know much about pregnancy either and there was a lot to work through. He also had to tell Aaron!

Despite all the conflicting feelings he found himself smiling as he pulled back out of the hug and placed the tests down before grabbing a tissue to dry his eyes, JJ watching as a good friend and she decided to just say it out loud “you’re smiling…” and the genius nodded, not denying it and she felt such relief at her friend having worked through things at least that far and she felt an excitement at the idea of Reid having a mini-genius of his own, the idea beyond adorable thought she didn’t voice that yet. “Congratulations.”

Spencer took a few calming breaths as he accepted it - he was having a baby, he and Aaron were having a little one! “Thank you for staying with me, JJ” he said with gratitude, her presence and really helped him keep things relatively together, he loathed to think of what mess he’d be in without her. She was quick to reply hat she was happy to help before the genius added “uh, don’t tell anyone.”

“It’s not my place to tell,” she chimed and she saw the shaky nerves still so she mused “you’ll do great…even if you don’t realise it just yet…”

* * *

JJ went back to work and Spencer lay on his bed feeling so many things at once just staring at the ceiling, largely that he should have seen the signs himself. The morning sickness alone never mind the cramps and and the timing with the bedroom mishap - some happy accident. He’d counted back the weeks and tried to recall symptoms as they occurred, one thing that had freaked him out a little was the blood he’d seen in what would have been two weeks in so he did something he rarely ever did which was look up information online, much preferring books.

It offered some relief, it had only been a little and it resembled ‘spotting’ which some pregnant people experienced as the baby attached and burrowed into the uterine lining, at least it meant there was nothing wrong. As he lay there he felt hungry, very hungry, which was understandable and the cafe from before did deliveries so he ordered something including the iced drink that had done wonders for his stomach before and he craved the cold, sugariness. 

He kept one pregnancy test and the others were thrown out, he was also efficient and realised his risk of further spotting was rather low and finally tossed the tampons in the trash. The food arrived and the drink was gone in moments he drank it so fast but it helped his stomach ease and take the food a little easier. Afterwards he lay back again and absentmindedly rubbed his tummy, it was a little tender from being so ill earlier and from the much needed meal, and maybe there was a little fondness. It felt surreal to think there was a life in there, his flat belly going to grow and carry a baby made him both nervous for what would be tough months ahead and maybe also a bit excited. 

But that was another factor - he was going to get bigger. He wouldn’t be able to hide that he wasn’t a cisgendered male if he was clearly pregnant and while it was scary he didn't exactly want to cower in the darkness away from hateful eyes either - people would just have to find out and deal with it, the bit of bravery a little surprising to him given how big an anxiety it had been for him over the years but very simply to him -his baby is worth it. Their baby is worth it. On top of that the team seemed like good people, JJ had even mentioned such and that was some comfort - he did trust them but he would be nervous until everything was said and done.

Plus JJ was amazing today, he clearly had a good friend in his life and was so grateful for her. He supposed in many ways the day was looking brighter, Strauss was already away to the airport for her flight back to Virginia and he knew what had been making him feel sick so it was one less worry. Aaron would be finishing for the day soon, evening fast approaching and the team working hard to solve the case so hopefully wouldn't have too long to go.

Aaron called to say he was on his way back to the hotel and he asked if Spencer managed to keep his food down or if he wanted anything brought to his room in a kind gesture, Spencer explained he’d already had something to eat but that there was a cafe that did good iced drinks that helped him feel a bit better so Hotch decided to pick one up for him. Aaron also mentioned during the call that Strauss had mentioned JJ getting him ‘medicine’ and Spencer had stuttered a fair bit in his reply, only really managing to say that he was feeling much better after JJ’s help. 

After the call ended he felt nerves creeping up on him again, he had to tell Aaron and he wanted Aaron to know, it was just a lot to handle and it was still relatively early in a relationship for this sort of thing as far as he understood but they did say their ‘I love you’s and he already cared so much for Jack. Pocketing the test Reid checked himself in the mirror, a bit of a mess from crying and feeling unwell earlier so he went to freshen up before Aaron arrived, not to mention giving himself a bit of a pep talk in the mirror.

Eventually he heard a knock on his door and he answered with a small smile, before even a word was said Hotch closed the distance between them and kissed him, it was brief but it was clear he’d been on the chief’s mind throughout the day. “Hey, you’re looking way better,” Aaron said, Spencer colour back and his mood seeming a lot lighter “got the drink you asked for” he added and held it up, the almost childish glee in those big hazel eyes at seeing it thoroughly adorable.

“Thank you!” Spencer said accepting the beverage and taking a refreshing sip, the cooling effect very helpful to keep that sickly feeling at bay “managing to eat definitely made a difference, and umm…” Spencer fell alittle thoughtful in how to even start talking to his lover so he said “c-can I…stay with you tonight?” the question was surprising to the boss but he knew Spencer wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t something he felt he really needed. “I know we’re being professional but-”

“Sure…” Aaron answered and flashed a smile which made Spencer feel all kinds of warm, he felt at least a bit more relaxed but the anxiety about the conversation to come wouldn’t go away. Spencer grabbed his go bag so he had things to change into for the night and morning before the couple headed through the hallway, they passed JJ who mouthed ‘good luck’ with a smile before they reached Aaron’s room.

Entering, the genius dropped his bag by the bed and placed the drink on the nightstand as he looked to Aaron with a nervous smile, Hotch’s expression clearly trying to read him and all Hotch could think to ask was “Spencer…you look nervous, is there something wrong?” Looking into hazel eyes and the fidgety body language Aaron moved closer and as he did so the genius seemed so deep in thought the closeness brought him out of it sharply.

“I-I n-need to talk to you…” he got out nervously and Aaron froze, the phrasing so close to ‘we need to talk’ making him understandably wary given such a term could often imply problems or a break up, but Spencer had asked to stay the night which was some form of relief on top of how good their relationship was going, but still he didn’t like the tightness in his chest as those words hung in the air.

“Alright” Hotch said “is this an ‘us’ thing, are we okay?” he asked, knowing sometimes Spencer could miss how things were implied if too subtle and luckily by Hotch asking that hazel eyes seemed to widen at the misunderstanding.

“Yes!” Spencer said without hesitance, not wanting Aaron to worry or get the wrong idea and he felt instantly a bit guilty for the choice of words “s-sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like that, I love you” he rambled in some urgency and with complete sincerity as he moved forward into a hug, feel Aaron’s strong arms around him and the older man breathe a sigh of relief before chuckling, Spencer reaction and immediate declaration thoroughly endearing. 

Bringing a hand up to caress Spencer’s hair Aaron said “that's good…so if nothing’s wrong, what is it you want to talk about?”

Spencer pulled back and looked into that handsome face, a flutter of nerves making him hesitate but he had to tell Aaron the truth and while he knew most likely it would be nothing but good news to the older man that illogical anxious voice in his mind wouldn’t stop fearing rejection. And it wasn’t just himself on the line now either which only made this moment all the heavier, so he took Aaron’s hand and lead them to the bed to sit side by side, his boyfriend following diligently.

Taking in a deep breath he made himself hold his lover’s gaze whom waited patiently but was clearly growing more concerned as time draw on, Hotch was even the one to give the genius’ hand a squeeze as he read the nerves clearly on show. “JJ…pointed out that my being sick…m-my symptoms reminded her of something” and Spencer tooksteadying breath as he said as calmly as possible “and…we figured out what’s making me sick” and seeing a concerned look on Aaron’s face he quickly added “I’m fine…i-it’s just…”

He trailed at a bit of a loss before he found himself rambling a bit over his worries “I know we haven’t talked about this or planned this…b-but…I didn't know until this afternoon, I p-promise you I didn’t know…the last thing I'd want you to think is that I tricked you, I didn’t, but w-”

“Spencer” Aaron interjected “what are you talking about?” he asked softly, genuinely lost in all the things Spencer was blurting out and the genius was clearly stressed out a bit “I know you'd never deceive me, but…I have no idea what’s going on” he said and hoped Spencer would fill him in.

Holding a long gaze Spencer took in a deep breath to steel his nerves, a nervous smile appearing for just a moment and it was now or never, “I guess I just need to come right out with it” he said as much to himself as he was to Aaron while he reached into his pocket to retrieve the test there in slightly trembling hands - and he showed it to Aaron. 


	16. So Much For Professionalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling Aaron.

Holding a long gaze Spencer took in a deep breath to steel his nerves, a nervous smile appearing for just a moment and it was now or never, “I guess I just need to come right out with it” he said as much to himself as he was to Aaron while he reached into his pocket to retrieve the test there before in slightly trembling hands - he showed it to Aaron. “I took this, I t-took three of them, all…with the same result” he spoke almost shyly as his boyfriend took the item in his hand.

The moment Hotch realised what it was, a pregnancy test, he knew what would be on it, otherwise what reason would there be to show it? But none the less his heart sped up as he realised just what was happening - Spencer just handed him a pregnancy test - a _positive_ pregnancy test. The two lines confirming it and while there was a moment of surprise at the sudden revelation he looked to Spencer, the young man on the edge of his seat waiting for a response and likely feeling the nerves. Spencer’s pregnant. Spencer and him are having a baby. Suddenly a burst of joy was in his chest, a small smile on his face then and he could almost feel the relief next to him though the younger was still tense, nervous that he hadn't spoken yet. 

“You’re pregnant” Hotch said aloud, it wasn’t a question and like music to the ears Aaron’s voice was warm but careful, hazel eyes fighting the emotions threatening to overflow as he felt both happy by the man’s reactions and yet there was still so much to go over, biting lip in nervousness but seeing Aaron taking it well made it shift into a shy smile. “Spencer that’s incredible” Aaron beamed, taking any fear of rejection away.

“Y-You mean it? you're happy with this?” he asked and Aaron gave the warmest expression he’d ever seen before bringing the genius into a strong embrace, holding him and comforting the shaky young man doing his best with the big news and eventually those slim arms moved up around Aaron’s shoulders in return and he started to sniffle “please tell me you're happy” he said adorably and Aaron chuckled.

“I’m so happy, Spencer…” Aaron said clearly and the young man clung to him for a long moment, no doubt with his history of being outcast old fears would have cropped up so he chased any of those doubts away. Smiling Aaron pulled back and carded his hand through wavy hair, pushing the locks back to see his partner’s pretty face better. “Are you okay? I know we didn’t talk much on it…” he said though admittedly his own heart felt tight, hoping this was as good news for the genius as it was for him.

Nodding and teary, that cute face threatening to make Hotch a little emotional too but he just wholeheartedly accepted the joy of building a family together and listened to Spencer speak “scared, it’s a big change…I…oh, that’s s-such a relief” he stuttered out through the strong emotions “I really didn’t know it would happen…b-but I’m happy about it, terrified but happy…” 

Hotch realised now what Spencer was meaning before, he’d been the one to say he was ‘practically on the pill’ and he was quick to put those concerns at ease “Spencer, I know you would never do that on purpose,” knowing the genius wasn’t the kind to lie and certainly not to use such a thing manipulatively “it was a happy accident” and those words managed to make Spencer finally relax a great deal and especially when Aaron looked to excited by the news even adding “this means Jack’s gonna have a little brother or sister” and Spencer couldn’t fight the big smile at the boy taking up such a role.

“Aaron, I was so nervous” he confessed as the pair joined in a hug again, “it’s just… _a lot_ , and…it’s important s-so it’s pretty scary” he added, JJ’s words sticking with him and Aaron understood, the tears and jitteriness weren’t due to sadness or doubts in Aaron himself he was just handling a lot at once.

“You’ve got nothing to be scared of with me…” Aaron said comfortingly and kissed his boyfriend’s temple “and I don’t blame you for being nervous…you’ve never done this before and it is a big deal” he said helping Spencer feel less like he was overreacting and that what he was feeling was normal.

“I…I” he stuttered trying to find the words and sweetly Aaron reached up to wipe away a tear that escaped and Spencer took a calming breath feeling safe in his lover’s arms “I don’t know anything about babies…kids are fine but I…I just…what if I mess up o-or if I’ve already messed up” he started to ramble and while Aaron smiled through it knowing everything would likely be totally fine it was good for the genius to air it all out and be heard “I h-haven’t been eating right, I’ve been having coffee, that’s one of the things r-right? Oh god I have to give up coffee” he realised almost comically but Aaron stifled the laugh “I haven’t been taking supplements and I’ve not been eating much due to the nausea, what if…”

“Spencer” Aaron said calmly looking into those big doe eyes he loved so much and got his full attention before helping ease his nerves “you don’t have to know about babies, there’s plenty of time for you to read and I know about babies, we’ll be fine and you’ll learn, just like any other new parent.” Aaron’s tone was so sure it really did help undo the built up anxieties of the day and it also reminded the genius that the baby was in experienced hands as well as his own with Aaron already being a father. 

“A lot of people actually lose weight in the first trimester due to the nausea, it’s just something that happens and it’s totally normal” Aaron added and before the genius could bring up any other doubts he continued “your body knows what it’s doing, the supplements are just to help and there are plenty of people who don’t know they're pregnant doing much harder stuff regularly than you and the baby is absolutely fine, the number one thing is to not do anything in a binge or chronically throughout the pregnancy.”

Taking in those words Spencer sighed and nodded, trying to cling to his boyfriend’s words and bringing him comfort although Hotch did then add “and yes…you do have to give up how much coffee you drink” and the pout on the young man’s face was so cute Aaron couldn’t hide the smile though he did add “however you don’t have to cut it out completely, I don’t remember the safe amount but we can look it up but you can have a little or switch to tea and you’re allowed more of that…” he explained and while it didn’t fully help the genius’ love of coffee being challenged it did take away a bit of the stress and the genius nodded, finally calmed and smiling much easier with his worries answered.

Aaron tried not show just how excited he was, the thought of pregnancy had occurred to him with Spencer being ill but he hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up over something so unlikely, but here they were. Moving a hand down to Spencer’s flat stomach he saw hazel eyes light up, the gesture clearly cutting through a lot of the overthinking and just being excited about the new life they were bringing into the world. “I love you” Aaron said softly and it seemed to only make him happier, a giddy feeling in the genius’ heart at all the emotions of the day coming down to that simple yet powerful sentence and he replied “I love you too” and the couple shared a kiss. 

Spencer started tearing up feeling 'too good' again, overwhelmed but he was held through it, Hotch’s hand not leaving his stomach though which only added to the joyful overload. Sure it was a lot, and soon, but that seemed to be how they worked. The baby might not have been intended but neither had them meeting each other, Spencer having literally bumped into him in a book shop and they just seem to work on happy accidents and that worked fine for them. For Aaron he would be pretending if he didn’t smile at the idea of having a child again in general, and especially with Spencer - it was perfect. 

But he understood the fear in the genius, Spencer was still so young and probably hadn't thought much about babies yet or about the reality of it since he’d thought he’d always have to plan it and get medical help. It must be scary, and as he imagined Spencer getting bigger, carrying their child and the things they might do it then occurred to him another stress the genius might have. Not to mention how Spencer had said JJ helped him figure it out in the first place. Spencer had only recently felt accepted by people fully, and it was only a few and as his pregnancy progressed he likely wouldn’t be able to hide it nor might he want to. 

“You know I’m by your side, through thick and thin, right?” Aaron said bringing his other hand up to caress his lover’s cheek “if anybody has a problem with our family they have to answer to me” he smiled but also really meant it and Spencer felt his heart do a happy flip in his chest at the words ‘our family’. He'd never had much of a family, he loved his mom but it was just them for so long and with her illness it could be lonely sometimes but with Aaron, and now the baby too? his world just felt that bit bigger all of a sudden by the people in it.

Feeling a wave of emotion hit him Spencer’s eyes started to well up but he wasn’t sad so he said “I’m gonna cry, okay? I cant help it…maybe it's hormones” he said with a laugh and Aaron chuckled too. 

“Well we’d best get used to that” Aaron added “don’t worry, you can be as emotional and illogical as you need to be” he said, letting Spencer know that whatever pregnancy symptoms cropped up he had someone to be there with him and do what he could to help. “We’re gonna be just fine…and now we know what kind of appointment to make when we get back, gotta say it’s a relief that you're not actually unwell” Hotch said with some relief “you had me worried there for minute.”

Rather than say sorry, Aaron likely to tell him there was no need to be Spencer just nodded and said “well I’m not sick although it can feel that way…but at least we’ll get a baby out of this” he beamed and both smiled, both on the same page of how good the news was to both of them.

* * *

Spending the night, professionalism taking a back seat given the situation was more than understandable plus Strauss had already left and the team couldn’t care less. The couple lay spooning, Aaron flush against the genius’ back and arms around his precious boyfriend, a hand on his stomach affectionately too while they spoke quietly and more relaxedly about all sorts of things. They talked about the baby, about Jack and some of the genius’ fears which were calmed as much as possible by Aaron, and that JJ knows and how she helped Spencer find out, even buying the tests for him and will keep it a secret.

Nestled amongst Spencer's hair Aaron cuddled closer behind him and said “I’m sorry I wasn’t there while you were finding it all out, it must have been scary in itself for you.”

The younger just smiled, “JJ was really great…she didn't judge me for a second, she didn't even ask how it happened or asked me to tell her what I am…” Spencer seemed genuinely surprised by that, even the well intentioned could overstep their good natured curiosities and make someone feel put upon or like they had to speak but his friend had just been there to comfort him through it.

“Good” Aaron said, placing a small kiss to Spencer’s temple “I’d expect that of JJ, but I’m glad if it had to be anyone other than me it was her, you two seem to be getting along really well.” 

“Admittedly…I am nervous about that…when I'm bigger and people find out…” Spencer confessed but was quick to add “I mean it's worth it, for the baby I mean…I just…I can’t help if my anxiety flares up around it” Spencer said both practically and also with a bit of resilience, bravery from somewhere making itself known when it came to the baby and it was heartwarming to hear.

“I’m here,” Aaron said in support “the team is here, I know they don’t all know yet but they’ll not judge you over it, besides they’d have to answer to me” he said the last part with a chuckle and Spencer smiled. The older agent was a little glad to have his face unseen, he was grinning in a way he’d never get his reputation back if anyone saw it, he was just so excited about them starting their own little family. The idea of Spencer showing, getting to feel the baby kick, to hold the tiny human that was a bit of him and a bit of Spencer and his mind wandered to other areas like setting up a nursery and reading baby books, the joys of toddler days in the future too but there was something about those ideas that brought his mind to something else. They didn’t live together yet.

He wanted to. Waking up to an empty bed craving the genius’ company had become the routine lately and he had wanted to ask even before the news of the baby so he figured no time like the present “hey, Spencer?” getting his lover’s attention.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to…but…I’d been thinking of asking you something before…this…” he said, the hand on Spencer’s tummy caressing it slightly to imply he was referencing the baby “I would very much like if we could live together,” and instantly he felt the surprise in the young genius, Spencer turning in his hold to face him “what do you think?”

“You really want me to live with you?” Spencer asked, big eyes clearly happy with the invitation and Hotch just smiled.

“Yes, I had thought you might think it was soon, but soon seems to work for us” he said positively “and now with the baby too...I want you both to live with me” and again felt his stomach making Spencer smile, feeling so good he could cry again but he held it back and any loneliness lifted form his life so easily, effortlessly by the older man. “So is that a yes?”

Nodding Spencer couldn't stop smiling “I’d love to, yes I want to live with you.”

There was a giddiness between them then, not just feeling celebratory about the baby but moving in together too, a lot of big and good news all at once and as they kissed, maybe it was the endorphins but things quickly became heated, maybe it was the want for closeness but they couldn’t help but seek out the other. Aaron couldn’t help but want to hold him, the already precious man only made even more treasured by the child he was carrying and the intimacy of the realisation made them crave touch and to just melt into each other. 

Spencer’s hand went to Aaron’s hair while one of Aaron’s trailed down to Spencer’s hip, kneading the curve there as they pressed their bodies against each other, “what happened to professionalism?” the genius teased between kissed.

“Exceptions can be made” Aaron chuckled and he felt Spencer relax into everything, enjoying being held and showered with affection as Hotch kissed down his throat 

In a flurry of touches and kisses, rubbing and adjusting the pair found themselves in the throw of pleasure yet again, some clothing removed or adjusted for access as Spencer found himself facing away again as Aaron pressed flush against him, Aaron’s hands reached around to stroke him making him tremble and gasp. Spencer bit his lip to try and keep quiet while Aaron played with him, the hotel walls rather thin, while Aaron’s own hardness pressed against his backside adding to the sensations and anticipation. 

He had to bring a hand up to cover his mouth when Aaron’s other hand trailed lower and traced his opening, already wet and aching for touch Spencer moaned, muffled by his own hand thankfully when Aaron slipped a finger passed his lips and inside him. Whispering sweet nothings into his ear between kisses and sucks to the neck and shoulders Aaron eased his finger in and out of the wet heat before adding another, adoring the small noises escaping the genius despite his best efforts to keep things hushed. 

Spencer meanwhile rolled his hips back, creating friction between his backside and Aaron’s cock getting both excited, a pleasured throb through both of them and after a while Spencer reached behind himself to blindly grasp the thick member and massage the heated flesh though fabric which was quickly pulled down to free it. Spencer shifted up in the bed a little, the new angle between them very telling as they started to grind against each other and Aaron’s naked cock was allowed to rub against the swollen, soaked lips of his lover’s entrance. The heat and slick feel alone making the older man shudder and moan into Spencer’s shoulder.

“There are condoms in my bag on the nightstand…” Aaron said in gruff whisper as he felt his cock caressed by the hot grind between Spencer’s thighs, letting Spencer know they were there if he wanted one but the genius did hesitate and it made Aaron smile at the idea. “If you still want to use one that is…”

“I guess…I am curious” Spencer whispered, a blush over his face and with a roll of the hips Aaron’s member only made him writhe and need him more, those fingers also thrusting inside making Reid have to muffle his moans. Spencer was pregnant, the condom having split weeks ago meant they’d already been exposed to such a thing and even though it was still his choice about protection - he trusted Aaron and he felt comfortable taking that step. “Is…is that something you’d like?” this time Spencer’s question held a coyness weaved into his voice, a bit shy being the one to suggest such a thing.

Aaron felt his arousal throb at the implication, the want to be buried in his lover and feel everything a thought he’d had since their first night together and he answered “wearing protections is fine with me and it clearly isn’t a hindrance between us” letting Spencer know he didn’t expect to be given his body in such a way just because of the child they’d conceived and that their sex life was not dulled by the use at all but he added “but I would like to, if you’re ready.”

Aaron’s breathing hitched in a very telling manner when Spencer’s hips moved in just such a way that the head pressed against the arousal swollen lips, the heat and wetness a caress to make Aaron bury his own face against Spencer’s shoulder to try and not make a sound a neighbouring person might hear through the hotel walls. “You do like the idea, huh?” Spencer chimed and both smiled, Aaron with a pink in his cheeks only hidden by the darkness of the room though it paled in comparison to the genius’ blush.

“Admittedly…can you blame me?” Hotch answered with a quiet chuckle and as if to reciprocate for the teasing hips he added a third finger and brushed against that spot to make Spencer whimper with pleasure, it was breathy and stifled but so hot to hear. “Just because it happened once by accident doesn’t mean you have to from now on…” Aaron made sure his boyfriend knew that he wouldn't be viewed as silly for not throwing caution to the wind just because a welcomed accident happened in the past. 

Spencer twisted around enough to look over his shoulder to Aaron’s dark eyes, “I trust you…” he said so sincerely it was touching before the genius moved onto “ _I want to_.”

Aaron swallowed whatever undignified moan was going to escape him at the simultaneously adorably sweet and yet totally fucking erotic display and moved forward claiming those lips in a deep, powerful kiss while his fingers continued to thrust inside the wet heat. Removing his fingers he heard a ghost of a whine from his lover’s throat joining the light moans and panting before holding his own cock and guiding perfectly to the opening. Spencer moaned just at the feel, the blunt head of Aaron’s cock so big and usually covered in a layer of latex which itself was lightly lubricated, he knew the friction would be a sensation in itself.

“Are you sure?” Aaron whispered in a gruff voice laced with heavy arousal, really hoping Spencer wasn't about to change his mind now the idea had been so teasingly entertained.

Nodding Spencer said just audibly “yes…p-please, I wanna feel you…”

In a need filled moment Spencer rocked against his lover, feeling the hard cock rub against his lips and both moaned, pleasure jolting through both men and Aaron took the hint and couldn’t hold back anymore. Lifting Spencer’s leg up for better access Spencer felt a thrum of excitement in his soul, feeling open for his lover and Aaron’s strong body pressed flush against his back, holding him close as he started to press inside. Already soaked and hyper sensitive to feel the added friction of skin against skin was unreal, Aaron’s cock was so hot and hard inside him, he could feel every ridge and flex of the muscle as the older man filled him.

“Ah-A…Aa-ron…” Spencer gasped and that erotic sound joined the many reasons Aaron was in absolute heaven, that velvety tightness taking him in a strong yet soft grip, surrounded in the sweltering, wet heat and feeling every squeeze and tense so graphically it made his head light.

“F-fuck…Spencer” Aaron moaned as he fully seated himself inside, hot breath tickling his lover’s ear as he did so and the shudder was felt so clearly by both they knew they weren’t going to last long. Taking a moment to catch their breaths, the sensory overload making the genius’ toes curl and his own member throb, the feeling of Aaron’s thick cock twitching and brushing against his walls indescribably sensual. Aaron only pushed part of the way inside when he started to withdraw, every sensation adding to make them only need this more and wonder why they had waited so long for this. 

When Aaron started to pull out the genius just let the sensations happen, feeling every detail slide against his inner walls, sparks of pleasure drawing out a breathless mewl. There was something so graphic about it like this. So obscenely vivid and explicit. Hotch kissed Spencer’s neck affectionately as he pulled out until just the head remained inside, both feeling the other pulse against them for a long moment before giving into it, Aaron thrusting back into the younger man and both started to rock against each other.

The feeling was utter bliss, something primal as they just sought _more_ , more of the other, more contact, more warmth, more friction. Panting hard Spencer bucked back against his boyfriend’s strong hips in a desperate need to be filled over and over and Hotch happy to oblige, the raw contact between them letting his brain realise just how wet he was, how hard they were, how absolutely obsessed they were in that moment to seek pleasure in the other. “So good, Spencer, fuck-ah…” Aaron gasped gruffly as he felt Spencer’s hips meet him with equal vigour, a series of thrusts so perfectly lifting before fully sheathing him in one smooth movement.

“Oh g-od..” Spencer whimpered and reached one arm back to grab onto Aaron as if for stability, he just needed some way to brace and Aaron’s strong, comforting body was just what he needed to cling to as he felt his climax approaching. Aaron’s cock hit his g-spot with precision and as the thrusts became quicker and harder Spencer’s fingertips dug into Aaron’s muscle more but neither noticed, the older man just focusing on driving into that wet heat, Spencer’s cute noises spurring him on even more and he knew the young man was close.

Thrusting with a roll of the hips, grinding that bit deeper inside every time got the genius trembling in a high-pitched moan and it was only a couple more thrusts before he tensed, inner walls naturally hugging Hotch’s cock in a harsh squeeze making both shudder and Spencer came, his release flooding between his legs and Aaron’s hips started to ram against him, so affected by the graphic nature of everything felt over the thick cock. “G-god, _Aaron_ ” was all Reid managed to stutter, gasping as pleasure overwhelmed him and his vision go blurry from stimulation, a fire in his loins as he felt himself suddenly so sopping the sound of their thrusts was met with loud, lewd wet smacks.

In a slight daze Spencer let his orgasmic waves of pleasure crash into his nerves, along for the ride as Aaron continued to slam his hips and before reaching around, arm still pinning the genius’ leg up high on it’s way, and gripping Spencer’s still hard cock in his hand. Biting his lips the young man still couldn't contain the moan entirely, so overstimulated he didn’t know which way was up and he could only let his nerves twitch and jolt as they would. Hotch’s hand fondled him and the way Spencer arched his back was divine, especially as in their position it proved how completely sensitive and responsive he was, his hips bucking against the hard cock burying to the hilt every time.

Stroking the smaller cock in his hand and thumbing the tip Aaron sped up his thrusts too, the feel of his lover tightening and yet in utter bliss was so erotic he felt himself suddenly close, a pressure in his groin as he chased his release too. The pace quickened and each slam hit hard, as beautiful as the genius’ noises were Aaron nuzzled him into an over the shoulder kiss, muffling a deep moan as their bodies moved together. Holding onto Spencer, arm wrapped around him and hand on his stomach tenderly amongst the intimacy of their night together and it only made their connection feel stronger.

“ _A_ - _Aaron_ …ah” Spencer gasped and whimpered between kisses, panting and needy he begged “h-harder…” to which Aaron as happy to oblige.

The wet slap against each other filling the quiet room along with their harsh breathing though neither cared as they neared release. “C-close” Aaron said after lips parted, his voice low and gruff in a type of warning that if the genius preferred he pull out to say so now, however his lover’s hips only sped up in response seeking another climax and from the trembling the genius was close again. “F-fuck, Spencer…” Aaron said as he started to thrust a little erratically, pounding inside as both moaned and clung. Aaron’s hand stroked more firmly and massaging with his fingers as he went taking the younger over the edge, in a broken gasp Spencer came, back arching and spilling over Hotch’s hand followed quickly by a wet release flooding between his thighs and over Aaron’s thick cock.

The high was almost blinding, the dark room filled with blurry sparks and lights from the overloading pleasure Aaron was giving him and Spencer could only pant and wait for the world to normalise but in the meantime lay in Aaron’s arms awash in ecstasy. Feeling Spencer tighten again, gripping his cock and writhing in his embrace Aaron moaned, slamming inside of the lithe body and nuzzling him into another steamy kiss, both seeking as much contact as they could get.

“Last chance for me to pull out, Spencer…” Aaron whispered against his pleasure drunk boyfriend’s ear and breathlessly Spencer seemed to try and find the words but he settled on a tired whimper “ _s-stay_ ”, wanting to have his lover with him to completion. Over his shoulder in a dreamy blur Spencer gazed to the older man’s handsome features, desire, pleasure and affection mixed together making his heart flutter.

“Oh god, S-Spencer...” Aaron said in a gruff whisper as a strong throb made him moan and Spencer’s sex-dazed whimper was adorably hot and after a few more bucks of the hips Aaron felt himself climax with a husky moan, jittery in a couple of harsh thrusts burying deep inside his partner and riding out his orgasm. Feeling Aaron cum inside of him was a whole other new experience for the genius, the flexing and twitches of the man’s cock against his inner walls, filling him making Spencer shudder at the sensation. A few more lazy thrusts followed until fully spent and the room filled with their heavy breathing as both let their sex induced high fully set in and neither dared to move as they lay together.

The passionate exchange left both in hazy minds as they tried to catch their breaths for several minutes, Aaron let Spencer’s leg fall as they started to relax and Hotch held Spencer more snuggly to him and brought the genius into another kiss, this one sweet and innocent despite the raw heat of moments ago. Laying in the afterglow the pair exchanged small tender touches and kisses, loving the feel of the other next to them and post-coital cuddling with Aaron was easily one of Spencer’s favourite things in the world.

A giddy sleepiness washed over them and part of them wanted to just curl up and sleep after the sensory overload gone by but Aaron knew he needed to get them cleaned up before that and made himself keep his eyes open. Luckily he was treated to the sight of a completely relaxed and fucked out genius, their eyes having adjusted to the darkness long ago they found a sweet moment between them as they looked to each other fondly.

“Well…is your curiosity sated?” Aaron asked with a tired smirk and it earned a gorgeous giggle from the genius.

“Definitely” Spencer replied, a happy smile over his pretty face. The increased contact was better, at least between them. For many, condoms were preferred and the peace of mind something to make sex more enjoyable too - but between the pair they felt safe, both by low risks and the strength of their relationship and Spencer was left in some awe at how incredible such a small change could make and their sex was already amazing to him beforehand.

Kissing Spencer’s temple Hotch smiled at the precious person in his arms before saying “I’ll get us cleaned up, I’ll be right back.” As he untangled from his lover he also carefully withdrew with a wet sound that left nothing to the imagination but neither minded, their indulgent yet heartfelt sex life more than cherished as just one of the many ways they could connect with each other. Hotch nipped to the ensuite to clean up quickly and grab a washcloth before returning to his boyfriend whom was lying on his back, messy hair cute against the pillows and his body language thoroughly satisfied.

Returning to the bed Hotch then tenderly started to clean away their release, gently running the cloth over the flat stomach and between his lover’s thighs, Spencer almost paid no attention to it, just watching Aaron care for him in the quiet exchange. Getting up again to place the cloth in the laundry hamper upon his return he was met with the genius’ outstretched arms wanting closeness and he granted it, with a warm kiss the couple settled into cuddles and got comfortable again, this time with Spencer cuddled into his side, head tucked under Aaron’s chin as they started to feel the weight of sleep start to fall over them.

“So much for professional” Spencer teased with a smile though trying to catch his breath. 

“Screw professional,” Aaron hummed and kissed Spencer’s hair “we’re having a baby” he chuckled and that simple truth made the postcoital giddiness only so much better bring reminded of the child they were having.

“Yup…we’re having a baby” Spencer repeated, a warmth to it and Aaron held him tighter, after a while they both just settled into a relaxed cuddle, just listening to each other breathe and enjoying the rise and fall of chests and Spencer started to trace circles on his boyfriend’s chest fondly “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this excited.”

Aaron smiled, he didn’t hide a bit of how trilled he was at the news “excited doesn’t cover it, sweetheart” and he got a fun idea. Shifting their weight he flipped them gently enough for Spencer to be lying on his back comfortably, Spencer unsure of why but going along with it and all became clear when the older man trailed kisses down but not in any sensual way, it was purely affectionate until he reached his stomach, “hey baby…” Aaron addressed their unborn child in a sweet and suddenly moving way to the genius, his heart doing a happy flip at the sight.

He’d never seen Hotch like this, he was lucky enough to be someone to see Aaron so gentle and smiling, but…wow, starting a family together like this really got him and it was clear the man was proud to be a father and especially to do so again. “You be good, your mommy needs to eat, okay?” he asked as though the baby could answer for such a thing and it made the genius laugh at the silliness. Affectionately Spencer placed a hand on Hotch’s hair tenderly before tracing over the strong jaw to look at each other. The smiles saying everything.


	17. The Turtle, Not The Artist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack visits and they build a fort.

Heading to the SUVs in morning to go to the station Spencer felt in some ways so much better but also still a bit rough, managing to keep food down yesterday was helpful for obvious reasons and he luckily wasn’t sick in the morning but he was queazy and very sensitive to smells. A lot of the anxiety had faded and he actually felt excited now, as scary as having a baby was he couldn’t deny how he felt or how happy it made Aaron. He kept finding himself looking down to his flat tummy, that fact that there was a baby in there so surreal to him but definitely the good kind though until he saw a doctor he couldn't fully relax. 

He got into the passenger side with JJ at the wheel and the blonde smiled at him in a friendly expression, “morning, you’re smiling,” she noted, seeing the genius calm was night and day compared to yesterday and his talk/night with Hotch clearly having helped but still she was curious “how did it go?” she asked as they still waited for the other agents to arrive and divide up into cars.

“Really great” Spencer said and JJ’s expression was clearly very glad for him “and…thank you for your help yesterday” he said sincerely.

“Anytime, Spence” the blonde said and even reached over to rub his arm in a friendly gesture “that’s what buddies do” she said like it was the simplest truth in the world and as the pair saw Hotch talking with Rossi and heading to the next SUV passed them they flashed smiles to the boss and subtly he returned it with a small nod. “It’s so weird seeing him smile so much” JJ mused but her own smile didn’t move “but he started smiling when he met you, never mind now there’s a ba-” she was about to say and cut herself off when Emily and Morgan entered the SUV in the middle of their own conversation and didn’t notice her words.

“Hey guys” Emily greeted, “are you feeling any better, Reid?” she asked, the whole team knowing he was ‘under the weather’ hence his absence yesterday afternoon.

“Yeah, still have to take it easy but way better than before” he spoke vaguely but honestly.

Morgan chuckled and said “did the boss man ‘kiss it better’ last night?” and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, the team knowing which room he'd stayed in last night.

Rolling his eyes Spencer answered cheekily “at least I had company, how did you enjoy your night, _alone_?” Reid and Morgan already able to tease each other in a brotherly way.

The group laughed including Morgan “damn, pretty boy, that’s cold.”

“Like your bed last night?” Spencer added with a smirk, the opportunity too good not to take it and the laugh only got louder, Emily practically cackling at the unexpected burn.

Meanwhile Hotch got into the other SUV with Rossi and as he looked to the older man he noticed Rossi was smirking “to what to I owe that smirk?” Aaron asked as he started the car.

Dave chuckled and answered simply “thin walls” to which Aaron fought the grin and blush that wanted to take over and focused on the road as they started their drive “at first I wondered if I’d have to wait until this morning to see if you'd be stressed or smiley this morning with the kid staying the night last night…it certainly didn’t _sound_ professional” he implied hearing some of the sexier goings on from the hotel room.

Hotch rolled his eyes but answered “it wasn't stressful anyway” implying they were anything but professional but not getting too in detail and while the statement wasn’t strictly true there was more joy and fun than any of the negatives. “How thin?” he checked curiously, both for decency and in case Rossi had picked up any of what was discussed in the room though he knew they hadn’t been that loud.

“I didn’t hear words but I know the sounds of _fare l’amore_ when I hear it” Rossi chuckled and Aaron fought the blush but at least they'd retained some level of privacy “it wasn’t too much, don’t worry” Dave even added more than amused “but I do find it funny that the moment ‘Erin is away Aaron will play’…”

* * *

Part way through the day working hard at the station Aaron went to refill his coffee and saw Spencer in the small station kitchen looking a bit down and asked “what’s with that pouty face?” kindly and Spencer poured himself a cool water.

“Not allowed coffee” Reid grumbled quietly, a little childlike in the whine but it was more than understandable “people are going to notice that pretty quick”

Aaron gave an apologetic expression to his lover, “as far as the team knows you’re ‘sick’, they might think it’s that and they'll get to know soon enough” Aaron said softly “but sorry, I know you love your coffee” he sympathised, to suddenly have to give up such a thing no doubt tough for the young agent especially on top of feeling so tired and other stresses that came with his pregnancy symptoms.

Spencer sighed and sipped his water miserably, not looking forward to any withdrawal headaches on top of the rest of his aches, but he did lighten “if I'm cranky it'll be hard to know why” and both chuckled.

“If it helps JJ’s picking up everyone’s lunch and I asked for that drink you like” and instantly hazel eyes lit up in an adorable sight “and she said you drink it so fast she may as well get you two” he added and the smile on the genius’ face warmed the heart. “And I looked it up, 200 milligrams of caffeine or less.”

“I don’t even want to do the math for the percentage my coffee’s getting cut by…” Spencer mused and sipped his water again and eyed Aaron’s empty coffee mug with envy.

Seeing Spencer’s eyes on his mug Hotch offered kindly “if it really bothers you to see others drink it, I’ll give it up too” though quickly the genius shook his head.

“You don’t have to do that, it’s not like the team’s gonna stop or cops we work with, it’s fine” he reasoned “I’ll get used to it...but thanks for offering” he smiled genuinely, Aaron thinking of his feelings on the matter and trying to make it easier on him and he did see Aaron’s relief “besides you’ve got a stressful role, anything that makes being the chief easier I don’t wanna take that away.” 

In the private space Aaron tenderly moved forward and pressed a kiss to Spencer’s forehead and both smiled in a sweet moment between them and before Hotch could say thanks Spencer added “go on, get your coffee, I’m sure in a few months time I’ll be asking a fair few things from you” making both chuckle and true enough, cravings alone could become something of constant errands never mind mood swings and so on.

“Nothing compared to what you're giving me, sweetheart” Aaron chimed and placed a hand on Spencer’s stomach, their child and Spencer’s comfort worth as many late night runs to the store, emotional ups and downs, back massages or whatever else he might need. Casting a quick glance around Spencer just really wanted to kiss his boyfriend then and as no one was around he did so, it was a small, innocent kiss but it lingered, the sensation light like butterflies wings.

As they parted the genius flashed a shy smile, the news of the baby exciting as well as mind boggling and Aaron read the mixed expression “it’s alright to be nervous” Hotch said warmly, more than understanding that Spencer would be anxious and there were a million questions running through his head “and after this case we can make that doctor’s appointment, I think you’ll feel more comfortable after that” he smiled and Spencer felt comfort in his partner’s support.

* * *

The case was solved and the team had noticed the lack of coffee drinking but it was excused under Spencer feeling ‘unwell’ and JJ subtly and conveniently distracting agents from asking too many questions so the couple could have some privacy with the recent news they were handling. They made an appointment and put in personal days at work for then and in the meantime wanted to spend some time together so Spencer came over to Aaron's more and over a few days they talked over moving in together. 

They decided Aaron’s home was ideal and had plenty of space, Spencer didn’t mind giving up his apartment so long as he could bring all his books and while the actual packing up and moving would be a while yet they were enjoying going over it. Part way through their evening Aaron got a call from Hayley asking if he was free and could take Jack for the night so she could see her father and he agreed happily. They weren't going to tell Jack just yet about the baby and certainly not before going to see the doctor but they could at least tell Jack that Spencer was moving in.

In the car the couple headed to pick up Jack and while the genius didn’t mention it he realised he’d be seeing Hayley for the first time, they just happened to never see each other face to face with Aaron being efficient in picking up Jack but he’d picked up Aaron’s phone a couple of times to her and said hello before taking a message but nothing in depth. Aaron hadn’t seemed to even realise it as they got out the car continuing their conversation casually until they reached the door and rang the bell. 

Hayley answered with a friendly smile but she did pause a moment, only expecting Aaron to be in front of her but her eyes looked over Spencer for a moment trying to place who he could be and why he was there with Aaron and it dawned on her. Shifting her gaze between Aaron and Spencer she eventually said “hello…are you Spencer?” she asked warily, the genius clearly not as she pictured him but she mostly just knew that he was an ex-teacher and now member of the BAU, the rest of her descriptions came from an excitable Jack and the boy was unlikely to focus on looks or age in his ramblings. 

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you” Spencer said a little shyly and although the blonde was still a little bewildered they did shake hands and exchange a smile. She just couldn’t get over how unexpected he was and the words escaped “you’re so young…” before catching herself in how rude that was “so sorry, it was just a little surprising is all, I don't mean anything by it” she tried to wave off her comment.

Spencer looked to Aaron who didn’t seem fazed by it which helped, he might have been expecting it, before the genius replied “it’s alright, really” trying to diffuse any awkwardness “and I look younger than I am if that helps” he added, some often thinking he was a teenager by his appearance. 

Just then Jack bounded his way excitedly to the door “Daddy! Spencer!” he cheered and nearly tripped on his way to get a hug from both of them, Hayley quick to fuss over him “Jack, careful, you’ll hurt yourself” but the boy was too giddy as he gave the two men hugs and was practically bouncing on his heels making his mother sigh but with a smile “did you pack your homework?” she asked expecting to see him try to lie.

However he said “yes!” and opened his tiny backpack to show the worksheets he had to complete but to his mother's surprise but not as much as when the child turned to Spencer and said “will you help, Spencer? You’re super smart!” 

Spencer giggled at the boys excitable nature and said “of course, we’ll get that done in no time.”

“Remember Jack, _you’ve_ got to do the work and not just play?” Hayley emphasised, knowing full well her son avoided the math exercises like they were on fire.

“I know mommy” the boy chimed “Spencer makes it fun, he’s a doctor…of math!!!” he said like it was a mind-blowing notion and it earned a chuckle form both men while Hayley looked a little surprised still, Spencer’s youthful appearance very hard to get passed. “Wow, are you a recent graduate or..?” she directed to Reid but wasn’t sure how to phrase things without seeming patronising.

Spencer in his socially blinkered ways didn't mean to sound like he was showing off however he did have a tendency to ramble with rather hard to swallow information and just answered bluntly “not of mathematics, that was my first PhD” and Hayley’s expression was priceless, especially as she looked to Hotch checking that she was hearing right but he just gave her a look to say everything was true.

“First? there’s more?”

“Three,” Spencer answered and the blonde just stared “Mathematics, Chemistry and Engineering…then two BAs.” 

Aaron couldn’t not smile at the small bomb of information that often went off around the young genius though he did wish people would stop underestimating the talented young agent just because of his age and luckily after a few moments of Hayley realising the sincerity of the words she did her best to be polite. “Well, I can see why the FBI decided to snatch you up” she complimented.

“Indeed” Aaron said with a smile before looking down to Jack and saying “are you sure you’ve got everything?” and the boy nodded, Hayley rolled her eyes and reached behind the door to hand over another bag which the boy had forgotten to pick up in his haste to the door but she didn’t mention it, only smiling at Jack’s cheeriness. 

Jack then asked suddenly to his mother “mommy, can daddy and Spencer go to my game?” she question very open and Hayley paused as the slightly random question hit her. 

“Well it’s a while away and me and Bryan were happy to go with you…” she replied but Jack was quick to say “yeah, but can we _all_ go?!” clearly taken with Spencer as well as his expected adoration of his father.

“Umm…well, you’re daddy and Spencer have very busy jobs so we can’t promise that, but if they're available I’m alright with us all going” she said kindly.

Hotch replied too with “yeah, if work let's us go we’ll be there” with a smile and Jack looked really happy with the idea, so much so Hayley had to wonder just how the young genius had made both her son and Aaron so taken with him but she pushed those thoughts away for now and they said their goodbyes for the night and being sure to mention that it was good to finally meet Reid before parting ways, though her gaze did linger a little like she was still trying to work out some puzzle.

* * *

The worksheets were done in no time and after and evening of play and many fun conversations Spencer took a small nap to try and appease at least some of his fatigue, but at least he knew now he was tired because of all the work his body was doing to support the small life inside of him and help it grow. Meanwhile the sky had darkened somewhat with a light storm going on outside and Jack had grown a little frightened by the flashes of lightning and booming thunder, all of which went blissfully by as the genius snoozed. 

When hazel eyes did eventually flutter open he was gently shaken awake by Jack, the boy smiling and giggling as Spencer fully woke up again as he sat up and stretched, letting a small yawn escape too. “Hey Jack,” he got out sleepily and the boy was still giggling “what’s so funny?” and an instinctual part of him was concerned the boy might have drawn on him or something but he expected a bit better from Jack.

The boy adorably then held out his little hand and said as though some big declaration “follow me to the safety!” and Spencer realised the boy and his father must have been playing and as he blinked away the last of the sleep from his eyes Spencer took the outstretched hand in his and followed suit.

“Safety?” Reid asked “from what?” 

“A big fort, the thunder was scary so we made a fort” Jack said like it was the most logical thing in the world which was rather sweet in its own childlike way and it didn’t take long for them to reach the living room where there was indeed a fort, built largely by moved furniture, a coupe of boxes, pillows and many sheets and blankets strewn about the place. “Oh wow, that’s awesome” Spencer chimed complimenting the impressive work “where’s your daddy?” he asked and almost comically he saw Aaron stand from behind the fort wall complete with a cardboard crown and Spencer immediately grinned at the image. 

Hotch chuckled, more than happy to play when Jack was involved and said “to enter the fort you must say the password” and Spencer had to stifle the laugh. Jack giggled too before going to the ‘door’ of the fort which had a sheet across it and Aaron ducked down enough to listen as the child whispered something before being allowed access into the fort. 

Spencer laughed at the adorable nature of the whole thing and said “don’t I get to know the password?” softly, stepping closer to the ‘wall’ of the fort to face his boyfriend and see down over the edge a little to all the blankets and pillows lining the floor as well as a very joyful Jack.

“You can have a clue” Aaron said with a smirk, his tone serious however which only made it funnier “but know that if you fail to say the password correctly you will be banished to the lands of ‘over there’ and ‘not in here’ " and the silliness made both chuckle.

“Oh well I better get it right then, it looks so cool in the fort I wanna join” Spencer said complimenting the boys’ handiwork “so, what’s my clue?” 

Aaron smiled and said “very well then” as though they were squaring off but neither could stop the smiles coming through the play-serious expressions “Michelangelo is one ‘cool dude’…what is his signature catchphrase?” Aaron asked and Spencer had to try not to laugh and rathe than answer straight away he pretended to think on it really hard.

“Hmm…let’s see…I’m guessing it’s the turtle not the artist…” he said and Jack as if to help nodded while his father wasn’t looking, “and he says several things…but…I’m gonna go with…’cowabunga’, is that right?” he asked like he didn’t already know and immediately Jack exclaimed “he got it daddy, let him in!” and it was so sweet Spencer made sure to give the boy a hug the moment he was through the ‘door’ and into the fort.

Jack too put on his cardboard crown made from a cereal box and it was a little big making it slip over his eyes sometimes but it only made the whole thing sweeter, especially as the boy reached behind him to pull out a third and hand it to Spencer “oh thank you, Jack” before wearing it proudly. A small flash of lighting lit up the room and Aaron and Jack started to count, a way to gage the distance as they listened for the thunder and after a while the booms sounded and because of the counting and listening out Jack wasn’t so afraid as he often was. 

“Do you ever get scared by storms, Spencer?” Jack asked curiously.

“Hmm, not really…” Spencer mused “the chances of getting hit by lightning are so low, and I kind of always liked the rain and getting all snuggled up indoors with a good book. Besides with your daddy around I feel super safe” he opened up but kept it light “I mean look at this fort? The Hotchner blood knows how to keep the scary things away” he chuckled and exchanged a sweet look with Aaron though neither spoke on it.

“Can we sleep here tonight, daddy?” Jack asked and Aaron looked a little hesitant. 

“I don’t know, Spencer needs some really good sleep and the bed might be best” he reasoned and he was between the couple clearly referencing how Spencer was pregnant and not only was sleep important but the added aches and pains from it.

Reid looked around and in the fort and it was large, taking up a big part of the room and he noticed that there was a small pull out couch against one wall and it would only take a bit of adjusting to make use of it so he said “I think if we reconstructed this wall so we can use this little couch I’ll be just fine, what do you say?”

Jack grinned, glad to get to spend the night in the fort and Aaron smiled too but did check “you sure?”

“Yes, but if for some reason I really need the bed I’ll go” he said and already Jack was doing his best to remodel the fort so Aaron moved into action to help. Jack was already in his pyjamas and Hotch in t-shirt and pyjama pants so he excused himself a moment “I’ll just get changed and I’ll be right back” and he crawled through the ‘door’ out to head back to the bedroom and he was smiling the whole way.

As he went through his bag and plucked out a set of PJs he saw the pregnancy test in there, he hadn't had the heart to throw it out yet, maybe when he had a sonogram picture to replace it he would but not until then. Standing there he felt a little emotional all of a sudden, he didn’t fight it and luckily it didn’t get too strong that he couldn't blink the tears away, a mixture of hormones and the stunningly sudden connection he already had with the unborn child he’d only known about for a few days now and had no sign of other than feeling unwell and the little plastic stick with a couple lines on it. 

He supposed he felt emotional over Jack too, the child so accepting and he was the first child he had made a connection with when they first met and he knew he held a love for Jack too in a powerful way. The love of a child a wonderful thing and Jack gave it in spades and he found himself feeling so very lucky he could cry. Instead however he took a couple of deep breaths and got dressed before rejoining the boys in the fort, the process including giving the password again which made him laugh.

After a while of chatter and games the boys found themselves lying down for bed but not quite ready for sleep, Spencer on the small sofa and Aaron and Jack right next to him lying over soft cushions and pillows. It was during a particularly relaxed moment that Aaron ruffled his son’s hair and said “you know Jack, I’m so glad you like Spencer as much as you do” he called out clearly and Jack didn’t shy away from it with the big smile “because I was thinking it would be really great if Spencer could come live with me, what do you think?”

The child gasped and both adults had to try not to chuckle as Jack suddenly got up from his makeshift bed and went to hug Spencer on the small sofa “please live with daddy, Spencer?” Jack pleaded “that would be the best-est if you were here!”

Spencer felt his heart pang with emotion and he hugged the boy back, trying to hide his instantly slightly watery eyes which Aaron too noticed but didn't say anything, both men smiling at each other over the boys reaction. “I’d love to live here Jack, if it’s okay with you - me and your daddy will live together” he said firmly and Jack nodded happily in a heartwarming sight. 

“Yay!” the boy practically cheered “when? how long?” the boy asked enthusiastically and Aaron laughed before guiding his son back over to him by the cushions. 

“It’ll take a little while to sort everything out but the moment we know the day we’ll tell you, but don’t worry Spencer’s definitely coming to stay” Hotch said as he gave his son a small hug, the boy so happy and while he had Jack facing him he looked to Spencer who was wiping a small tear away and he mouthed ‘you okay?’ silently with a fond smile.

Spencer nodded and let out a calming breath and mouthed back ‘hormones’ with a roll of the eyes but knew that wasn’t entirely true so he added ‘and happy.’

* * *

A couple of days later saw the fort demolished and the house back to normal, Jack was still with them since Hayley’s trip to see her father was extended but it just meant that during work which was luckily just regular desk tasks for the time being the sitter would watch the boy until their return. It was great in many ways, Jack a happy presence and probably helping distract Spencer from overthinking about the baby and building confidence in his skills with children but it did mean that any conversations around the pregnancy were reserved for private moments or when Jack had nodded off to sleep. 

On the morning of the appointment they would be dropping Jack off at pre-school along the way and Hayley would be back in time to pick him up at the end of the day, but for now the boy lay sprawled out on the bed between Spencer and Aaron, having snuck in last night and both adults just let him stay pretending they hadn’t noticed. Aaron was vaguely starting to wake but still dozing, the last couple of days being productive in things discussed with Spencer and very positive in how Jack reacted to the genius moving in, he could only imagine how happy he would be to learn of the young sibling on the way.

Still half asleep Aaron nuzzled closer to his boyfriend, Jack between them not much of an obstacle and the way he was curled against Spencer was heartwarming, the whole thing so peaceful in the morning until a sudden jostle brought him out of his doze and through sleep blurry eyes he saw Spencer dash to the ensuite. A bout of morning sickness clearly and true enough he heard the telltale retching faintly through the closed door and Aaron had to fight the instinct to follow with Jack stirring awake. 

Hotch felt bad staying with Jack and distracting him for a few minutes, Spencer had mentioned the previous morning to just leave him to it if Jack needed attention or to keep him from seeing him sick, but that didn’t make it any easier to let the genius go through it alone. After a few minutes he convinced Jack to go collect a couple things from his room and took the opportunity to check in on the young man and the sight was as expected.

Spencer was passed the worst of it but still uncomfortable as he continued to retch and bring up bile, Aaron not hesitating to get close and rub his back or hold his hair through waves of nausea. In a small window of relief the genius did his best to catch his breath and gazed up at Aaron, the older man with an apologetic expression wishing he could make things easier. “We can go by the store too when we drop Jack off and get some saltines,” Aaron said softly “I hear they help with this sort of thing.”

Spencer nodded weakly and grumbled “can’t believe I’m saying this while so nauseas but I really want peanut butter…on lettuce” the genius confessed, mentally cringing at the idea but the cravings were stronger and Aaron smiled.

“Anything you want, sweetheart” Aaron answered warmly and they heard Jack back in the master bedroom, before he could speak Spencer gave a nod to the door in gesture for him to go.

“I’ll be fine, go get Jack his breakfast” and Aaron reluctantly did as told but not before leaning down to press a kiss to messy brown hair.

After preparing a small breakfast and getting Jack ready for pre-school the father and son were sat at the table when eventually Spencer eventually joined them, a subtle hand rubbing his stomach to ease the discomfort and he only collected a drink of ice water rather than any food. This morning however Aaron didn’t ask if he was up to eating anything since they were going to the appointment today and it was advised not to have anything before the scan. 

“Are you okay, Spencer?” Jack asked in between bites of his toast. 

Spencer smiled and answered “yeah Jack, I’m fine, thanks for asking” although he did feel rough he didn't want the boy worrying after him.

“Did you eat something bad? why don't you have some of my breakfast, its yummy” he offered and it was sweet but he had to decline.

“I'm good, really…thank you though, that’s very nice of you” Reid said and sipped his water, the boy slightly pouty at not being able to help the genius “I’ll be having a brunch later” Spencer lied “so I don’t need a breakfast right now” and with that the boy eventually seemed happy, even so young he could see that Spencer was feeling a little unwell and was just trying to make him feel better. 

It made Hotch beam with some pride at his son and how taken he was with the genius more than encouraging and he could see it made Spencer happy too. “You really like Spencer, huh? you're always asking after him, making sure he’s okay…” Aaron mused and Jack was quick to nod with a big grin.

“Yep, like daddy. daddy protects everyone!” came the cheerful exclamation amongst munching on his breakfast and both adults chuckled.

Aaron might have blushed if he wasn’t used to it and Spencer smiled warmly at the father and son and could only agree “yeah, he does” and that time Aaron did blush, hazel eyes meeting the older man’s knowing how much such a comment got to him.


	18. Peanut Butter and Teary Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first scan!
> 
> You might also notice I've finally figured out how to add BelovedWithKindness as a co-creator on this story (took me way too long!) and I'm very grateful for her help so lots of thanks to her amazing writing skills x
> 
> And feel free to make suggestions for things you would like to see in this story too!

The couple dropped Jack off at pre-school and had picked up a few things at the store on their way to their appointment, Aaron doing his best to keep his eyes on the road but it was hard to focus with Spencer having gone from cheerful and chatty around Jack to nervous and silent. He couldn’t blame the genius for feeling anxious, Spencer had never done anything like this and it was a lot to take in already never mind things yet to come. Especially now he was so attached to the baby, but his only indications so far of his pregnancy were the small tests and symptoms, the scan was obviously going to be a helpful and good thing but there was an understandable pressure on what was found out today. 

“Hey…talk to me” Hotch said softly. 

Spencer had been fidgeting with the receipt from buying at the store, at first he’d been trying to distract himself from how hungry he now was and how he could annihilate the jar of peanut butter they’d just purchased but taking his mind off of his cravings and symptoms only made him focus on everything that could go wrong in the appointment to come and there was a lot on the line and nothing he could do about it. 

“I uh…I’m n-nervous” Spencer confessed, he would often try to hide or lighten such a vulnerability but he needed all the help he could get, the baby simultaneously the most wonderful thing he hoped was perfectly healthy and everything was going right and yet the most stressful, complicated set of worries he’d ever had. “I purposefully didn't read anything about this so that I wouldn’t be paranoid…” Spencer said and Aaron nodded seeing the logic in such a thing but the genius continued “and now I’m paranoid that I should know more in case I'm missing something that I should really know if only I’d read up about it.”

Aaron couldn't contain the smile but he was sympathetic to the worries a baby brought with it so he found a small moment to reach over and give the genius’ hand a squeeze before returning it to the wheel “you’ll have plenty of time after the scan to read up, and knowing you you’ll get through the baby books in no time and have it all memorised, for now just trust in the doctor to tell you what you need to know” Aaron said simply before adding “and trust your own body - it knows what it’s doing for the little one.”

Hearing that helped Spencer at least not panic too much about how little he knew as of yet, Aaron was right about the opportunity for reading not being far away. “So…after the appointment could we go by the library?” 

“Of course…” Aaron replied with a smile “though are you sure you want to do that straight after? figured you’d want home to tuck in to the peanut butter” he chuckled practically reading Spencer’s mind. 

“I can read and eat at the same time” Spencer answered with a smile earning a small chuckle from the older agent.

“Sounds like a plan” Hotch replied “and don’t feel embarrassed by any cravings, no matter how weird” he added to make Spencer feel as comfortable as possible “like I said, trust what your body’s telling you, if the baby needs peanut butter on lettuce then that’s what we’ll get” he said with confidence and Spencer nodded, the mood in the car lightened a fair bit though Spencer remained nervous and both knew he would be no matter what until the scan was actually done and they were told everything was fine. 

“Thanks…I know I’m being irrational for a lot of it but when it’s important that makes it scary” he said, the message similar to what JJ had helped him understand when taking the tests.

“Anxieties are normal and hopefully this appointment will fix a lot of that” Aaron answered, “besides if we conceived when we think you won’t have a whole lot of the first trimester to go and so your symptoms might change soon.” 

Spencer looked to Aaron though the man was watching the road and Spencer asked a little confusedly “am I?” thinking over the length of time since the mishap with protection “I should be almost 9 weeks…” he recalled.

Aaron however just calmly said “eleven.”

Spencer went over the dates again in his head and Aaron did chance a glance at him, the genius so cute when puzzled and Spencer was thoroughly precise when he said “…we conceived 8 weeks, 6 days and roughly 11 hours ago depending on when fertilisation occurred.”

Smiling at the impeccable detail the genius was known for Aaron replied informatively “yes, but the 40 weeks of pregnancy is counted from the end of your last period, not the actual conception” and hazel eyes looked at him with a bit of surprise “I know, it’s not what you’d expect, it just means they typically add two weeks onto the date of conception which makes you almost eleven weeks into the forty weeks of pregnancy.”

For a long moment Spencer just sat there a little dumbfounded, a wave of relief that Aaron at least knew a great deal of things on the topic was comforting but on the other hand it rather emphasised the blank spot in Spencer’s own knowledge. “…I know nothing…” Spencer mused, his tone was light and both chucked but it was obvious the younger was still stressed.

They arrived at the hospital and Aaron spoke as he tried to find them a spot to park with warmth in his voice “it’s your first time…there’s a lot to learn but there’s also a lot of things to look forward to, don’t go stressing because you're not an expert on a subject you've never been taught or been given experience of, that’ll come in good time.”

* * *

In the waiting room the profilers had waited in a somewhat quiet calm, Spencer was still nervous but Aaron holding his hand and suggesting they try and subtly profile others in the waiting room helped take his mind off things. Reid’s name was called and they were seen to, and it wasn’t until shaking the doctor’s hand and taking a seat that they let the other’s hand leave their own and instantly Spencer missed it dearly. 

The doctor was a friendly looking woman who introduced herself “hello Dr Reid, I’m Dr Singh, and am I to presume you are the father?” she asked looking to Hotch who nodded and confirmed such. “Great,” Dr Singh chirped before turning to Spencer who was visibly a bit fidgety though the calm energy of the doctor was welcome too “so I understand you've had a positive pregnancy test?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes, three actually” Spencer answered, his voice a little quiet out of nerves. 

“Alright, that’s excellent” she said and looked to her computer “well let me just get your file up” she said taking a moment by her computer and reading what she could “okay…so I’m not seeing any fertility treatments or the like, was this a natural conception?” she asked neutrally.

“Y-yeah” Spencer said shyly, feeling thoroughly out of his depth all of a sudden and he asked a little anxiously ”is that okay?“ wondering if she was asking for a reason.

“Of course,” she eased the doubts “it’s just rather rare is all, were you having any periods, it says from your last exam you don't typically have them?”

“Uh n-no” Spencer answered, again he felt like he was saying the wrong things or that his answers didn’t sound like the best he could give and he was clearly worried, luckily the doctor could tell and reassured him. 

“Okay, that’s totally fine” she said clearly “everyone is different, I ask more because periods are a strong indicator of one’s cycle, do you know when you might have conceived?”

“Most likely it could be almost nine weeks ago” Spencer answered but also added just in case “but we’ve been sexually active longer than that” and luckily Spencer didn’t feel awkward talking about things like that in a medical setting and was just being informative and as helpful as possible. 

“Great, so just a few questions, are you still a non smoker?” she asked and they went through a series of general health questions around alcohol and diet, she also did some practical things like take his blood pressure and take his weight. “How much coffee do you drink in a week?” she asked just running through the list of things to fill in.

“I’m usually a heavy coffee drinker but I cut it a few days ago,” Spencer informed and the doctor looked happy with that “I know there’s a limit and I could have a little but I wanted to be sure so I just cut it all together, not easy…”

“Oh I can imagine,” Dr Singh replied in a friendly tone and noted everything down “I hear that one a lot” and as she didn't mention anything wrong with Spencer having been on it until only a few days ago he found himself not focusing on small worry after small worry as they worked through them one at a time. “Have you had any symptoms or cravings?” she asked, pen at the ready.

“I’ve had morning sickness, but it’s happened a couple of times in the evenings too and around strong smells…strong fatigue,” Spencer answered, his expression implying the tiredness was more difficult than he would find the words for “some aches…I’ve been a bit more…on edge lately, like emotional” Spencer explained and the doctor just nodded and took her notes, everything coming up as normal “…and I’ve been craving a lot of cold, crunchy foods, icy drinks, lettuce, that sort of thing, and recently peanut butter.”

“Okay…” she chimed as she finished her notes cheerfully before looking through her desk drawers for a couple of things “if you don't mind I’m going to ask you to use that bathroom” she said pointing to a door in the far corner of the room “and give a urine sample, also here is a gown” and she handed him both a small plastic jar and a thin garment. “you can get changed into it and we can get a scan started, I’ll also be taking a blood sample before you go today.”

Spencer nodded and clearly wasn’t too enthused but only out of nerves, Aaron flashed him a comforting smile and a light touch on his arm before the young man headed to the bathroom. The moment the door closed behind him Aaron let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and the doctor gave him a kind look as she spoke quietly “Dr Reid seems a tad nervous, it’s good you're here.”

“Thanks” Aaron replied “once the scan is actually done the nerves will get better” and the doctor nodded understandingly and she looked familiar, the thought niggling at him “have I seen you before?” he asked.

“I wasn't going to mention, but I saw you when you came in with your previous partner for some of her check ups, just blood work, that sort of thing” Dr Singh informed and there was zero judgement in her voice but she likely saw couples come and go, lives changing and so on so was used to it. “How is your son?” she asked in a friendly manner and showing she recalled things well, likely caring a lot about her patients.

“Jack’s doing great,” Aaron was pleased to get to say “he lives with Hayley but he’s my little champ” Aaron beamed, especially lately Jack had been amazing and he could only imagine how much prouder he would be to see him as a big brother. 

“Do you mind if I ask if you live together with Dr Reid? It’s just so I know in regards for advice, patience access, that sort of thing?”

“We’re in the process of moving in together” Hotch said with a smile, very glad about that fact.

“Lovely,” her expression saying her genuine nature “he seems a little anxious so I'm glad he’s got good company and someone who knows the process a little” Dr Singh said thinking after her patient, likely if Spencer had came in so nervous and on his own she’d be asking him if there was someone in his life for a support network and Aaron was rather glad to have the doctor they’d gotten.

“Hopefully after this first one he’ll actually get to a point he looks forward to the scans” Aaron said warmly.

When Spencer joined them again he felt a little self conscious in the gown and handed the doctor the sample before shyly fidgeting with his hair, the habit cute to watch but Aaron just wished he could relax. The doctor took a moment to put a label on the jar and write up a little before saying “make yourself comfortable, Dr Reid” gesturing to the long seat and he knew things would be getting rather personal soon for the scan. “I’ll be right back and we can get started” and while leaving the room meant she could get the sample away it also gave the couple a minute alone together.

The moment she left Spencer let out a breath and took a seat as told and the moment he was settled Aaron reached out and held his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze, the genius a little jittery “hey, Spencer…don’t worry, everything’s going just fine.” 

Spencer lay back on the reclined chair, taking a calming breath and sighed “I just hope everything’s okay…” and Aaron moved closer to give him a soft kiss, it was brief but soothing and fuelled with affection for the genius. When Hotch pulled back he also placed a kiss to Spencer’s hand in his before reminding “no matter what, I’m here for you, and the baby…” and he made sure to emphasise that he meant it for both individually, Spencer so precious to him before the child and the baby a wonderful addition. 

The doctor returned and they were finally getting to the main point of the appointment and she was very communicative, explaining everything as she went and certainly before touching him in any way.A small sheet was placed over his thighs for modesty and Spencer felt a little flustered at having to get into a position for her. He’d had exams before but he’d always been so practically minded and barely thought about it, but now he had a better relationship with his own body he was far more aware of everything. 

They were doing an internal scan for now so embarrassingly for Spencer they had to use a rather phallic looking object and Aaron remained the steady rock to tell Spencer everything was going fine and he never once let go of his hand. When the device was inserted the young agent had to remain still, the cold and awkward feeling was just uncomfortable but it was just one small step to getting through the appointment. Laying back a little bit with a pinched expression it didn’t hurt but was very odd for him and being a little shy it wasn’t helping his nerves.

Once ready the doctor focused on trying to get a good internal picture, the screen at an angle the couple couldn’t see just yet and it was during those few moments between not having visual confirmation and the doctor having to readjust the image or by moving the wand slightly that Spencer’s nerves increased. Hotch read this sudden spike in anxiety and squeezed the hand in his and placed a tender kiss to Spencer’s cheek, sweetly reminding him of his presence and it seemed to help, at very least he felt very much supported.

“Here we go” Dr Singh chimed and after a couple of taps of keys to enhance the image just right she turned the screen and like magic any tension in the genius seemed to disappear, hazel eyes fixed to the contents of the screen and the instant relief was unreal.

Reid hadn’t been sure of what to expect, with how little time he’d known about the baby’s existence and 9 weeks was such a short time in the grand scheme of things he half expected the foetus to still be some vague image but much to his awe the child was clear as day. It was a little baby, proportions still indicative of the early stage of course but it was all there, a little human being growing inside him and he felt suddenly breathless, captured by the sight. 

Dr Singh smiled at the reaction, as did Aaron and he was right, anxiety much more about worrying what might come than the actual experience itself and now he could see the perfect child on screen so much of the worry faded and Aaron too felt that warmth in his chest. He was more than happy to admit the big soft spot for babies and children, even sonograms and seeing the little hands and feet gave him the cliche warm fuzzy feeling and he squeezed Spencer’s hand and didn’t fight the big smile at seeing the baby.

“I don't think I need to tell you where the baby is…” the doctor smiled too but she pointed anyway to the child on screen “so I would say this little one is roughly 11 weeks, which fits your timescale mentioned earlier since we go from the end of your last period, so we typically just add on a couple weeks pre-conception” she explained and Spencer was glad Aaron mentioned that earlier so he didn't feel too confused. “You mentioned having morning sickness, some experience it for longer but about 70 percent see their morning sickness fade around week 12 so fingers crossed that could lighten.”

Spencer made sure to listen but it was not with the clinging panic of moments ago, the whole thing so surreal now he could actually see the baby and with a humbling intensity the love he felt for it, even with the child so small, was a bit overwhelming. The doctor continued and traced with her finger over the image and only stopped to take some notes as she spoke “the size of the sac and fluids look good to me…” and she tapped one her keyboard and the image moved a little as she pointed to the foetus’ chest “and there you can actually see the heart beating, looking strong” she said with a smile and Spencer felt like he could cry from the relief.

Any hope of keeping those tears from falling was lost when the doctor then said “so let’s have a listen, a foetus’ heart rate is fast at this stage and will slow over time ” she said and Spencer’s breath stilled as both he and Aaron waited to hear the heartbeat for the first time, even Aaron couldn’t entirely hide the feeling of anticipation being a strong thing when after what felt like a long moment of silence suddenly the room was filled with the wonderful sound. 

Aaron smiled and squeezed Spencer’s hand again, even bringing the other hand to clasp fully over the genius’ in an affectionate move, neither able to tear their eyes away from the monitor and hazel eyes started to well up. The baby alive and healthy, the sheer relief hitting him hard and as he went to wipe the threatening tears away Dr Singh was quick to hand over a tissue from her desk with a warm smile. “A lot of expectant parents get emotional,” she said helping him not feel too flustered “do you have a preferred term Dr Reid, mom? dad? papa?” she also asked kindly and as Spencer dabbed a few tears away though more kept coming he did manage to think a little through it.

“I uh…I haven't thought about it, I don't mind…” but as he looked to Aaron who was clearly ‘daddy’ he recalled the moment in bed as the man had spoken to the baby and referred to him as ‘mommy’, a slight flutter in his chest at the word so he answered “mom’s fine by me.” 

“Good to know” she said with a smile and went about her notes and checking around a little more with the scan and as she spoke a little about the baby it helped distract him, amongst the chatter Spencer managed to look away from the baby again to look at his loving boyfriend, finding it heartwarming to see a similar awe in the often stoic man and as they shared a glance they smiled at each other sincerely, both clearly even more excited than before.

Aaron in particular adored hearing the heartbeat, so strong and a comforting constant and now that Spencer wasn’t constantly on edge he could feel a lot better about his partner’s wellbeing and just focus on the joyful emotions. Dr Singh smiled at the couple and after a while of talking about the baby and really just allowing them to spend some time watching the baby until she tapped a few keys and took a still of the image before printing out several copies for the couple, the monitor then displayed the still image captured and they moved onto finishing the scan.

When the wand was removed Spencer felt his body calm a little more and as the doctor handed Aaron the ultrasound pictures and said “I can give you both a moment”and they thanked her as she stepped out for a minute again.

The moment they were left to themselves Spencer sank more into the seat just let the waves of emotion wash over him, gaze going between the images on the screen, on the prints in Aaron’s hands and his partner, hands still joined and Spencer summoned the words “it’s so real now…” and hearing his own voice say such a thing made his eyes start to tear up again but was smiling through it.

Aaron stood from his seat to place a kiss to Spencer’s hair affectionately “and you were so worried” he teased and the genius laughed through a sniffle adorably. Looking into Spencer’s eyes warmly Aaron thought of a thousand things to say but settled on a simple “I love you” and the teary smile it inspired was a moment he’d cherish before placing a hand gently to Spencer’s stomach “and love you too, kiddo.”

“C-could you hand me another tissue?” Spencer asked, his voice a little shaky but only for good reasons and Aaron was quick to oblige, between the baby and Spencer’s reactions Aaron too felt a little emotional, just a little choked up all of a sudden and the genius caught it “you okay, Aaron?” with a shy tease. 

“Yeah, guess I’m a little emotional too, can you blame me?” Aaron didn’t pretend he wasn’t.

For the first time in days Spencer seemed to fully relax, well as much as he could given being sat in a gown in a doctors office but he supposed he’d best get used to all the visits and such since there were plenty in his future. “Love you too…” Spencer almost hummed, feeling very tired after all the excitement of the morning and just in general before his smile widened and he looked down to his still flat tummy, his free hand placed over it instinctively “and you.”

Hearing Spencer express his love for the child aloud and so directly was always a good thing to see and it meant that Spencer wasn’t quite so uneasy or afraid, at least of getting hurt or disappointed and Aaron was so very glad to have gotten the first scan done, the difference in Reid’s nerves speaking volumes to how important everything was to him. Spencer looked up into Aaron’s dark eyes and angled upwards, silently asking for a kiss which was given without hesitation, it was innocent but soulful in the brief gesture of affection. 

“Thanks for coming with me” Spencer said sincerely once they parted.

Aaron brought one hand up to card through Spencer’s hair for a moment as he replied “of course, I wouldn't miss this for anything” his tone expressive, being there for his partner when it came to this sort of thing of the utmost importance to him and both knew it. Aaron was dedicated to his job of course, and while that meant he sacrificed a lot of time spent at home it meant he made the moments he did have count and the moments he chose to be there come hell or high water stand for something between himself and his loved ones. Luckily Spencer seemed to understand that, hence why they worked so well together. 

“I meant, thanks for staying calm” Spencer clarified “…I’m a mess” he added as he used the clean tissue to try and dry his eyes. 

Aaron chuckled and didn’t miss a beat in saying “Spencer, you're beautiful” and he meant it, nothing wrong with being emotional and there was something so intimate in having a child together, plus the vision of Spencer teary eyed and smiling at the image of their unborn child, one hand over his stomach and the other still joined with Aaron’s was so stunning he could feel his heart strings tug. “Being a bit of a gorgeous mess from time to time is part of the deal” Aaron added and Spencer’s giggle returned some normality between them since they first got the news.

Hazel eyes went from the image of the child to his flat belly and he mused “I can’t believe the baby’s in there…” his tone affectionate before curiously he asked “when do people show?”

Casting his mind back to when expecting Jack and all the baby books he recalled “if memory serves…between 12 and 14 weeks, but for first time mothers it can take a bit longer” and Spencer nodded. 

“So soon…” the genius mused, it was hard to tell if he was more excited or cautious, but he’d also only come to realise he was expecting at all a few days ago so it was a short time to adjust to the idea “I’ve been trying not to even think about the weight gain…on my skinny body I’ll look like I’m smuggling a watermelon under my shirt” he managed to joke about himself though he was a bit wary of what such a development might bring.

Aaron chuckled but also made sure to give a comforting squeeze to Spencer’s hand, “you’ll look amazing no matter how big” he said confidently.

“Yeah, right…” 

“I mean it” Aaron pressed sincerely before almost turning a bit bashful as he confessed “it’s actually…something I’m looking forward to.”

Spencer looked to Aaron in a small moment of disbelief but largely in curiosity, especially as the more he looked into his lover’s expression the more convinced of it he became “r-really?” 

“Yes…” and Hotch felt his face heating up a bit so quickly tried to explain “there’s the fun stuff like feeling the baby kick and…maybe…I don’t know, it’s probably something primal, but there’s _something_ about it.” 

“I don't think I‘ve ever seen you blush so much, Aaron” Spencer teased and before Hotch could retort Spencer giggled and added “it’s okay, I kinda get it…I love you and I already felt so close to you before but now with us having a baby together…it’s even more intimate” he explained and Aaron smiled, glad to have the understanding between them.

“And obviously I’m talking about how a baby bump means the baby’s growing, not any of the aches and pains” Aaron sympathised “I’d take them away if I could.”

The younger nodded and thought over things now it was all so read and voiced some “I was so focused on whether the baby was okay I blocked a lot of it out…I’m gonna get bigger, sleepier, sorer…then there’s birth” and while the ramble didn’t raise his nerves there was a definite challenge ahead and he already felt exhausted just thinking about them.

Aaron nodded and raised Spencer’s hand for another kiss “true…but just think, after all of it we’ll have a baby to take home” and that got him smiling wider again.

Hazel eyes looked to the sonogram picture, tracing over the shape of the little one and he hummed “you’re right.”

The doctor returned and the did the last few matters of the appointment, she took some blood samples and Spencer got redressed feeling much more comfortable back in his own clothes, they discussed what to expect in coming weeks, supplements and diet changes and that after the blood work comes back they could refine it more and their next appointment was made too. Eventually they were thanking the doctor, very grateful for her manner the whole time and with the sonogram pictures pocketed they left, walking hand in hand, their hearts so much lighter. 


	19. For How Much They’d Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling the team.

Spencer lay in Aaron’s bed, lazily staring at the ceiling after a small nap his fatigue made him take but for some reason it wasn’t bothering him much given the doctors appointment just that morning, so many doubts gone since seeing the baby and hearing that amazing heartbeat, everything healthy and his questions answered. Afterwards Spencer swore he’d never felt so hungry in his life and he made the mental note to buy more peanut butter and lettuce soon even though they'd only bought it this morning, they’d also picked up several pregnancy and baby books from the library and he’d worked through a lot of them already.

Aaron came through to the bedroom just to put away a few things quietly at first to not wake him if he was still asleep, but upon seeing those pretty hazel eyes open he smiled and sat next to him on the bed. “You feeling better after your nap?” he asked.

“Yup…I’m still tired but better” Reid replied softly “can I have a cuddle?” he asked sweetly and Aaron just smiled and didn't hesitate to lay with him, bringing Spencer to lie over his side as he wrapped his arms around the genius warmly, placing a kiss to his temple. They’d already spoken a fair amount about the appointment and the sonogram pictures were cherished inspirations for all sort of baby talk, it was hard not to look at them and get lost in thoughts about the little one. 

They spent a long while just holding each other, relaxing in the other’s company and Spencer help so damn good it was unreal, the warmth of Aaron, the connection between them and an intensity in every touch or hug. Even listening to Aaron’s voice made him so contented and he recalled one of the things he’d read about pregnancy in the books he’d already zoomed through “I read that levels of oxytocin increase throughout pregnancy, its a hormone that helps with lots of things but one of them is that in increased bonding” Spencer said fondly “it largely works between me and the baby but it can have an effect on other relationships as well…” 

“That makes sense” Hotch replied, smiling at how much information Spencer had consumed already in the short time since picking up books “I think I’ve heard of it, some call it the ‘love hormone’? sounds appropriate.”

Spencer smiled and added “yeah, truth is it does so much more than that but increasing the want to bond and to help destress are part of it, and it’s not just me…the book said a father’s oxytocin increases as things progress and especially when holding a newborn. So…one of my cravings will be hugs with you” Spencer said sweetly and Aaron chuckled lightly.

“That’s fine with me” he replied sincerely and gave Spencer a light squeeze in his hold, enjoying the bit of down time together and he was thoroughly looking forward to having the newborn as Spencer mentioned, it was an important time and one of the few reasons he ever put in so much leave from work to be there for. There was going to be another little child to call him ‘daddy’ and his heart swelled at the thought and a curious thought occurred to him “hey, do you mind if I ask you something? A umm…gender thing?”

Spencer’s head lifted a little with interest, Hotch was always very understanding and respectful when it came to the topic and they actually very rarely needed to discuss it since Spencer would bring up whatever he felt was relevant and the rest was just so natural, plus Aaron wasn’t the type to assume he knew any more than he did, no ignorant or misinformed talk to need to correct. The few times Aaron really had any questions they were thought out or specific so Spencer said “of course, what do you want to know?”

“In the appointment…you said ‘mommy’ was preferred…” Aaron brought up and recalled his own use of the word, one of the few assumptions he’d made even if only for a brief moment “and I know I used it in the hotel, I guess it was partly habit…but whatever you want to be called is up to you” he said and Spencer was still smiling, the subject a positive one and he felt good about bringing it up “is that really what you want? There’s no pressure, but I am a bit curious how you feel on it.”

Spencer snuggled in again and got comfortable in the hug as he thought over it a little but the answer was pretty simple “well…being a ‘mom’ doesn’t change that I’m male, and I know some people like to use daddy or papa even if they were the one to be pregnant but…I don’t know, it just doesn’t factor into it for me. I’m the baby’s mother, that’s our relationship even if I happen to be male.”

Aaron leaned down a little to kiss the top of Spencer’s hair and nodded “whatever you’re comfortable with, and for what it’s worth I think you suit ‘mommy’, the best moms are real sweet but know how to be fierce when needed” Aaron complimented and a flight blush heated the genius’ cheeks. 

Spencer’s heart gave a little flutter at the flattering words of his lover but also said with warmth “besides I think it’s rather obvious that you’re ‘daddy’, Jack already calls you that and I think it suits you too.” 

Hearing that Aaron brought up one hand to card through wavy hair, a happiness in how easily everything seemed to be fitting together and to just spend the time thinking of these things was good for the soul. Reid meanwhile mulled over all the ‘mom’ talk and started to think of his own, he sent her letters every day and he’d already informed her of his relationship with Aaron and he would have to tell her the news she’s going to be a grandmother and he was sure she’d be overjoyed by the idea but he still felt a bit nervous, Diana able to be a bit unpredictable at times.

“I’ll write to my mom and tell her” Reid decided “I’d like to see her too…and you should really meet her at some point” Spencer mused and Aaron nodded in agreement though he was admittedly a bit nervous meeting Diana, he more than understood that meeting with her might be different from a lot of ‘meeting the parent’s scenarios given her condition but he had every intention of getting to know her when given the opportunity. 

But he was nervous, as genuine and loving as their relationship was he knew some could judge their age difference and some just didn’t ‘get it’, even when Hayley met Spencer for the first time she hadn’t been able to hide her surprise. She’d been polite and genuinely would be wishing them well but she was clearly puzzled by it and she was very much ‘giving it the benefit of the doubt’ rather than actually understanding it. He could only hope that Diana could see how much he loved the genius and how good their relationship really was. 

“We could take a weekend trip to Vegas at some point” Aaron said, as much pressure as their was on the meeting going well it was also an important step to take, “you sure it’s best she find out in a letter first?”

“Yeah, actually it helps her process the information more reliably since there’s something tangible to refer back to, rather than something as fluid as audio” Spencer rambled and he could feel the slight tension now in his boyfriend at the idea brought up so he reassured warmly “she’ll like you, don’t worry” his voice sure and comforting to the older man.

“You think?” 

Spencer looked up at his boyfriend with a nod and smile “I’ve already bigged you up in my letters” he giggled “and she likes good hearts in strong people, being well read is a bonus” he informed and both chuckled, such criteria rather helpful.

“Well, I hope you're right…”

Aaron hadn’t spoken much about his parents, he’d mentioned losing his dad quite young but otherwise it was a pretty blank spot of information and Spencer had a decent idea that Aaron was likely a bit distanced from his family so never pushed it but he did decided to actually bring it up “what about your mom?” and Aaron was clearly trying to summon the words and it wasn’t so easy so Spencer added “I don’t know much about your family and we don’t have to go into it.”

Aaron held Spencer a bit closer and they nestled together as Hotch finally found a decent response “it’s…complicated. We don’t really speak, there wasn’t a falling out exactly but she had a fight with my brother and we’re just all distant now” he informed trying to fairly explain the situation without getting bogged down in details “she’s…not a warm person and to be honest she isn’t the ‘supportive mother’ type, it’s best to just le-”

From Hotch’s pocket his phone started to buzz cutting him off and as the older man looked at it there was a knowing look over both agents since it was JJ calling, with a small sigh the chief answered and the expected conversation came, Spencer didn’t even wait for it to end before untangling from those strong arms and both men got off the bed to start getting ready to leave for a case. After they’d talked Aaron hung up and quickly went to change clothes as Spencer was grabbing his bag. 

As Aaron buttoned up his shirt he had to consider what it would be like now to see the team with the good news they had, at least before Spencer was nervous and they only had the small test confirmation, but now? So he asked “what do you want to do about telling the team?” his voice calm but still Spencer paused a little.

The genius stopped and just thought over his answer, he was already near the end of the first trimester, it wouldn’t be that long until he would be showing and it was important that the team know. They'd talked about telling Jack and they wanted to tell him soon, not to mention let Hayley know too so she could be prepared for all sorts of questions Jack may have while they weren't around to answer them and just so she didn’t think Jack was somehow ‘confused’. But the team? 

“I…I think we should tell them soon” Spencer said, clearly a little in his own head over it but he believed in his answer “I mean…it won’t be a secret forever and my symptoms aren't going away any time soon.” Aaron slipped his suit jacket on and walked over to the young man, a hand on his arm reassuringly as he heard the nerves in the genius’ voice “plus…I feel a lot better since the scan, but give it time, I don’t think we should turn up to the briefing and say ‘hey I’m pregnant and we know you're confused but I have girl parts and boy parts, anyway back to the solving murders’…” Spencer rambled and both laughed at the silliness. 

“That’s fair, in a bit of down time we can share the good news” they decided and Aaron with a warm smile kissed his boyfriend, it wasn’t heated but it was comforting and affectionate making Spencer want to just indulge in the moment for longer. However they had a case to solve so Aaron soothed what anxieties he could “I’ll be right with you, and I don’t know any friend of mine that would judge you…”

Spencer smiled and with a calming breath nodded and they resumed their quick getting ready to leave and while it was a mostly practical dash they did both stop to pick up a couple of sonogram pictures. The couple flashing smiles at each other before Aaron slipped one into his wallet and Spencer put one into his book bag safely snug between pages of a small pregnancy book, it was only then that they felt ready to leave.

* * *

Driving to a crime scene JJ couldn’t stop smiling at her friend, Spencer seemed so much better since taking the tests and having talked everything out with the boss, she had respected their privacy and didn’t ask too many questions, plus with the case they’d been pretty run off their feet. But in the quiet of the car ride she was very well aware of the genius in the passenger seat daydreaming about something, whatever it was seemed to relax him and a faint smile on his face and she had a pretty good idea of what it was since he also had his hand gently on his stomach. 

The blonde had seen Spencer be nauseous and how he acted when he was just soothing his stomach but this was different - something so affectionate in him and she knew the smile was inspired by the baby. And since it was just them he felt comfortable enough to not hide his body language around a bunch of profilers, the others just thinking he was still a bit poorly but better than he was before.

“Did you and Hotch have enough time to get a scan?” she asked, knowing they had booked one but not sure the case hadn’t disrupted it. 

“Yeah,” Reid said with a smile “I’m glad we went, the doctor says the baby is just fine” he said, his voice relieved and warmer than she’d ever heard it. 

“Oh this is so exciting” JJ beamed “you seem so much better since going, how far along are you?” she asked curiously.

“Eleven weeks, well nine, they add on two weeks.” 

JJ nodded though she was a bit surprised by how far along he was already “really? do you have a sonogram picture?”

“It’s in my bag at the hotel, I’ll show it to you later” Spencer replied, the more he spoke openly with Jennifer the more he became convinced telling the team would be a good thing, it was nice getting to share the news. “Thanks for being so great about everything JJ,” he thanked her and started to wave it off but he pressed “I mean it, you're a good friend…”

“Aww Spence, you'll make me blush” she said but she was aware that Reid had spent a lot of his life in academia and work, he had friends placed here and there along the way but not like what he’d found in the team. “Just promise me lots of cuddles with the baby when he or she is here” JJ said and Spencer found it heartwarming how excited others could be about his and Aaron’s baby.

“Of course” he answered fondly, the thought of an actual little one in his arms still so surreal “that seems like forever away and way too soon all at once.”

JJ giggled and advised “just enjoy it moment to moment…I can’t wait for everyone to know, we’ve never had one of the team pregnant before,” she mused warmly “wait till Garcia finds out, be warned she’ll be shopping the moment you tell her.”

“Well it won’t be too long,” Spencer said a little easier, this secrecy stuff for only a short while longer and JJ didn’t need to keep distracting or covering for them when the team asked a lot of questions over Spencer’s symptoms “we’re going to tell the team when we’re not so swamped with the case” and he could instantly see the blonde happy that the team would be getting such good news to all enjoy but as much as Spencer trusted the group he was still a bit nervous. “Do…do you think they’d take it well?” 

“They’ll be over the moon” JJ said sincerely but blue eyes could see the remaining anxiety so she decided to be honest and not just blindly optimistic. “Spence…you saw how I handled finding out, Garcia will be a bit more intense but she’ll be much the same, Emily too. Rossi and Morgan will be… _surprised_ ” she didn’t pretend otherwise “but they're open minded, they already love you to bits and so they’ll have questions but only to get a better understanding of the wonderful news.”

Spencer let out a breath, letting himself relax a bit more and his hand caressed over his stomach glad to have his good friend “thanks, JJ.”

* * *

At the end of a hard worked day Reid sat on his hotel bed flipping through a couple of pregnancy books, reading leisurely and only stirred from it when he heard a knock at the door. Hearing an “it’s me,” Aaron’s voice warm so Spencer didn’t move to hide the books as the older man came in. They smiled at each other and when Aaron also raised an iced drink in his hand he chimed “I come baring gifts” before closing the door behind him.

“You are the _best_ ” Spencer said cheerily and accepted the drink. Taking a long sip, the lemony goodness was sweet but best of all was how the crushed ice was like a slush making its way through the straw and so damn good. He made an unmistakably pleasured hum at the refreshing taste and only afterwards did he realise how he sounded and blushed, Aaron tried not to smirk but it was clear to see he found it entertaining. 

Hotch didn’t make fun however and instead sat by his boyfriend on the bed and reached into his bag pulling out some saltines and Spencer’s expression told him just how thankful he was to have them but before the genius could say thanks Aaron added “it gets better.” Next he pulled out a bag of fresh lettuce and and hazel eyes watched him like he had a bottle of water in the desert and when a small jar of peanut butter followed Spencer couldn’t stop himself from hugging Aaron tightly making the older man chuckle. 

“Thank you, thank you, _thank you_!” Spencer said enthusiastically, the joy of the simple groceries adorable to see and he was practically bouncing with happiness and Aaron would have spoken if Spencer didn’t then give him a kiss, any words chased away by the contact. 

When they parted Reid sat back down and immediately started tucking into the bag of lettuce and both knew the peanut butter was not long for the world either. Aaron smiled at Spencer so focused on the simple treats and the books on the bed too, the baby causing quite the series of changes in the young man. “You’re getting right through those books, we’ll need to do another trip to the library after the case.”

Dipping a lettuce leaf in the jar of peanut butter and taking a bite of the weird but perfect mixture he was craving Spencer munched through it happily as he nodded. The expression of pure bliss over his face until he swallowed and answered “yup, reading’s definitely helping.” Excitedly Spencer then started to ramble off some of the things he learned from one of the books, one that details the baby’s development week by week and spoke “this week our little one has started to form all its major body organs, the baby is getting tooth buds, bones are starting to harden and the outer ears are forming and moving into place on the head.”

Aaron just smiled “see all the good your body is doing?” and Spencer smiled too, the ‘trust your body and instincts’ thing an ongoing process “what else does it say?” encouraging the genius to enjoy all the baby talk and facts he could, the topic at least in this way seeming to make him happy and excited.

Without hesitation Spencer answered “it says some people have weird or vivid dreams, since pregnancy can induce intense emotions and the increased chance of interrupted REM sleep means dreams can be remembered more clearly.”

“Huh, that’s new to me” Aaron said, “I noticed you had a headache earlier though, that’s pretty common at this point.”

“Yeah, reading about it is at least a bit of a relief, it’s common in early pregnancy and rare beyond six months, here’s hoping they’re gone on the earlier side…” Spencer said and sipped his drink, every sip or bite of his cravings being satiated like heaven.

Aaron leaned forward and gave the genius a peck on the cheek “don’t read _too_ much, it can get someone paranoid” he said lightly.

“I know, but I really like reading about how the baby’s developing” Spencer said with a warm smile and it was so cute, the young genius filling his mind excitedly with baby information “like the baby's head is still large; it accounts for about half the length of their body right now but over the next week it’s body will catch up and get longer, taste buds are forming and the baby is developing into its sex, but being able to know from an ultrasound won’t be possible for a while yet.”

Aaron nodded, enjoying the happy ramble and he asked “do you want to know the sex?”

“Hmm…” Spencer thought about it, “I don’t _need_ to know…I certainly don’t have a preference and I don’t really see the difference it makes” he shrugged “I know for some it’s practical information about what things to buy but…” and Spencer tried to search his brain for just what his opinion was on the matter. “ I don’t mind if the girl has a dress and the boy has a football, just so long as a boy knows he can enjoy dress up and a girl can do sports too” with a shrug “I don’t think it’s about keeping pink away from girls and blue from boys _because_ it’s a stereotype, if we have a girl I want her to have all the pink in her life she can get, but I want blue there too, and green, yellow, whatever works for her, same for a boy.” 

“I agree…” Aaron said listening over it with a smile “when we knew Jack would be a boy the nursery got painted blue, but at the same time he had a couple dolls and he likes princess movies as much as anybody else, and it’s not like ‘Jack likes girls movies’ because those movies are for him as much as any girl” and both men smiled to each other. Both on the same page that gender, while a construct and not necessarily connected to the sex born with, was not diminished by anything that by coincidence resembled the ‘traditional’ views so long as they were never, ever limited or stigmatised for being otherwise. The couple preferring to be gender _inclusive_ by filling their lives with all sorts rather than being gender _void_ by rejecting anything vaguely gendered at all, it was fine for others to do so, but for them this was how they liked things.

The more Aaron thought about it, the delicate conversation of gender handled well between them he couldn’t help but feel the need to say “I have a question…” however Spencer must have been anticipating such as the answer came without Aaron even elaborating.

“The baby won’t be intersex because I am, it’s not genetic” Spencer answered factually and his smile even widened a little ad how he practically read Aaron’s thoughts.

Aaron chuckled and said “thanks for clarifying, I wouldn’t have minded if the baby was intersex I was just curious.”

“Well I’m just a one off oopsie,” Spencer said so lightly they could only laugh, Spencer when in safe company really not that shy to discuss any details “it’s no more likely in this little one than any other” Spencer said with his hand on his tummy in gesture to the baby.

“Got it” Aaron said, the smile on his face never seeming to move when around his lover recently. “Do you mind if I ask about you…like…what did your parents do when they realised your sex?” he asked delicately, it was a specific question that he just had never felt the need to ask before but Spencer was in a cheerful and talkative mood so it seemed like a good time to bring it up.

True enough Spencer barely blinked at the question and answered “my parents were told I was male because they could see male genitalia on the ultrasound” and Aaron nodded, that assumption logical “and when I was born and they realised it wasn’t that simple my mom…she just sort of _knew_ I was a boy” he shrugged “and actually biologically that’s somewhat relevant, I never developed breasts at puberty and some with my genitalia do, and I can’t explain it in any other way but I’ve always just _known_ I’m a boy too, I’m just a guy who has two types of genitalia. Does that sound strange?” 

“Not at all” Aaron answered understandingly “I know I’m male, never really had to think about that or felt conflicted over it, I just happen to have the sex to match.”

Spencer went back to having his lettuce and peanut butter but did ask “so…do you wanna know? boy or girl?” his tone warm and really not minding either way.

“Well…I got to know Jack would be a boy” and at first Spencer wondered if Aaron was going to think of it as the way he liked it, to keep things consistent but instead the older man said the opposite “so how about this time it be a surprise?”

“A surprise it is” Spencer said, both having decided with identical grins and as he dipped his lettuce into the jar of peanut butter again he noticed Aaron watching him, the older man never judging the pregnancy cravings but the more he was around witnessing them the curiouser they individually became. With a sly smile Spencer held up the leaf and said “you wanna try it?”

Aaron’s expression was not enthused but not grossed out by any means and it made Spencer giggle a little and urge him “oh come on, one taste?”

“One taste” Aaron allowed and accepted the lettuce leaf with peanut butter on it, and again the slightly resistant but as he watched Spencer make his own and start munching away he figured it couldn't be too weird so he took a bite. Surprisingly it was pretty good, the refreshing nature of the lettuce and the crunch of it mixed with the earthy sweet and yet salty quality of the peanut butter. “Hm, that’s pretty good” he said rather impressed.

Spencer leaned forward and stole a kiss from the older man sweetly “and now I can taste the peanut butter when I kiss you too” he giggled in a small but cheeky victory.

* * *

After a few days the team got through the case just fine, though they’d been very active and not much time to focus on anything else but the bad guy was caught and lives saved. Emily and Derek had a couple of harsh bruises from shots fired but onto bulletproof vests, the pair sore as they sat and tried to relax on the jet and in general the team just finally got to unwind, getting chatty and Penelope over the screens being her usual self.

Spencer sat next to Aaron, he was sleepy but a little too riled to sleep, he really just wanted to read more books on pregnancy but he couldn't do so without looking rather bizarre and making the team ask questions. They’d been noticing his symptoms more despite their efforts, Spencer’s fatigue most of all and while the hotel had better sound proofing than the last one and no one had heard him dealing with morning sickness there had been meals where he had clearly been feeling ill or having lost his appetite. They weren’t able to tie everything together however, they assumed Spencer was strictly male and so they wouldn’t be suspicious of such a thing like pregnancy. 

Reaching his hand over to Aaron’s, the pair rarely holding hands while working unless in their own time or at the hotel, but they were finished with the case and Spencer felt like seeking out the touch. Aaron smiled at him and returned the gesture, giving his hand a squeeze and he noticed the genius appeared a little thoughtful and while he didn't say so with words Hotch could tell he was thinking about the team. “Do you want to tell them?” he asked in a whisper so no one else would hear. 

Spencer gave a small, almost shy nod and he was clearly a bit nervous but there wasn't any doubt in him that this was what he wanted. 

As if the universe was giving them the perfect opportunity Emily chose that very moment to sigh and said “ugh…I’ve had enough excitement for one day” and there was a mutual nod around the team tiredly after the case and the couple smiled at each other at the segue.

“Really?” Hotch spoke, his tone clear and as he carried on there was a tease to his voice and the rest of the team turned to face the couple “…because we thought about telling you all some big news,” Aaron said with a smirk. The team all looked at the couple, the ‘we’ being referred to and they noticed the joined hands and there was a sudden curiosity in them all. “But that can wait if you're not up for it” Hotch teased while Spencer exchanged a knowing glance with JJ, the blonde smiling realising what was happening.

“Ooh, gossip time” Penelope said over the screen playfully while it was Morgan to urge “come on, spill it Hotch.”

“Well haven’t they changed their tune?” Aaron mocked further and the profilers were on the edge of their seats all of a sudden.

Rossi rolled his eyes though he was just as nosey as the rest of them and pressed “just say it, you two moving in together or something?” and it was an educated guess given Spencer had mentioned about boxes at some point.

Spencer spoke up next with a factual “well, actually yes” and there was instantly a happy series of reactions in the team but Hotch held his hand up to calm them as the genius added “but that wasn’t what we were going to say…” and their interests piqued even further. 

“Congratulations anyway, that’s great you guys” Emily said and there was a similar hum around the group.

“So…what’s the actual news?” Rossi asked and the couple looked to each other for a moment, Spencer summoning a little bit of courage for what was to come. 

Aaron looked to the good doctor wondering if he wanted to take the lead and after a moment he did “so, this is a little complicated and I know this will come as a shock, especially given certain assumptions…but …” and for a small second he felt a little jittery, Aaron giving his hand a squeeze to comfort him and get him through it, JJ also looking at him with caring eyes. Taking a deep breath he looked around, the teammates waiting for the reveal seeing he was slightly nervous and they softened as they listened, being good friends they waited for him to speak and he knew this was the right call. 

“…I’m pregnant…” Reid said, his voice a little shy but the news undoubtedly a good thing and sincere.

For a long moment several were stunned, their minds having to go on quite the journey to understand the words they just heard and while some agent’s jaws dropped as they let the truth sink in and try to figure out what just happened others adjusted, mixing their surprise with excitement and growing smiles. JJ was the first to get up from her seat, a big grin on her face as she beamed “ _finally_ , I was dying to tell someone!” and she went to give them a hug, the couple stood to accept it, she had hugged Spencer in comfort before but now she got to do so in full congratulations and to Hotch as well.

Morgan and Rossi took the longest to get passed the shock, Derek even mumbling a “wait…what?” confusedly, trying to wrap his brain around it while Penelope and Emily recovered quickly enough and especially with Jennifer leading the way. When it fully hit Garcia she squealed so loud with a big grin “that's amazing!” she exclaimed “darn, why am I stuck here, I wanna give hugs!!” inspiring laughs from those not shocked speechless.

Emily followed suit after JJ and gave both hugs and saying how great the news was and Spencer felt a great deal of relief by the happy reactions so far and Hotch put his hand on his back soothingly and it made both smile at the development. Another gasp came form Garcia over the monitor as she said “wait, JJ… _you knew_?” 

JJ giggled, showing off she was the first to know by explaining “hell yeah I knew…I even bought the pregnancy tests” she grinned triumphantly and the other women looked so surprised, also a bit jealous that she knew the whole time but in the best way.

As the women said their congratulations both Morgan and Rossi started to get through the shock of it all, both dealing with the ‘I would never have known’ element of their newfound knowledge about Spencer, but it was nothing to be judged and as the reality sunk in they knew it was nothing but good news. Both stood too and Rossi was the first, speaking Italian affectionately and showing his joy at the news, always happy to see another ‘bambino’ around and already acting like a fun uncle which was sweet. 

Morgan was next and said “congrats,” to both before looking to the genius and for a moment Spencer thought Derek might ask him how it was possible instead heard a very different question from him. “Is that why you've been sick?” Derek asked, his intent caring and Spencer felt a warmth in his chest that amongst all the confusion and curiosity one of the most surprised people chose to ask after his wellbeing in that moment. As the realisation fully settled in Morgan more confidently asked this time “and that’s why you've not been drinking coffee?”

Before he could reply Emily gasped and said “oh Reid, your coffee!” sympathetically, the whole team knowing how much he relied on the stuff. 

“Don’t get me started” he replied with a tired smile,”but it’ll be worth it” Spencer added fondly and reached into his bag for the sonogram picture.

“Okay, can I just say too…I have a bajillion questions” Penelope said but her tone was friendly, followed quickly by Morgan admitting “same.”

Aaron chuckled “you'll need to wait till after this next round of squeals” as he watched Spencer hand the picture of the baby to JJ, Emily watching too and Penelope able to see from her camera. Instantly there were squeals and cooing, the team gathering around to get a better look and both Dave and Derek found themselves smiling at it too. 

“Look at the little hands and feet” JJ cooed excitedly.

Emily also spoke with a smile “and this is clearly Reid’s kid, look at the big genius head” she joked and the team laughed again, a sudden feeling or warmth and joy around everyone and Spencer felt that ‘so good he could cry’ pang in his chest and made himself fight it, just focusing on the man next to him, Aaron’s hand still on his back comfortingly and an ever calming presence. 

“How far along?” Dave asked.

“Coming up on 12 weeks” Aaron answered proudly.

They continued to compliment and congratulate, an excited chatter suddenly making the jet so lively and they were clearly overjoyed by the news. After a while they calmed to a point that Spencer felt it best to answer the ‘bajillion questions’ and so started with “so I guess you’ll be curious about… _how_ …”

JJ was quick to say “you don't have to explain, Spence” with a genuine smile and the team after realising the topic all seemed to agree though they were obviously curious.

Seeing that kind reaction Spencer only felt even more sure of the decision and he explained “it’s okay…you’re all good people…” and he looked to Aaron, patiently letting him speak but there in constant support and after a calming breath he explained “well…I am intersex,” and the reaction was calm, a few brows raised as they considered what he said but no negative reactions “I was born with both sexes and that’s it really…” he shrugged lightly “but I am male” he added telling them the right pronouns were already being used. 

JJ was the first to respond with a smile and say “it makes no difference to us, Spence.”

Penelope was quick to reply too with her usual playful grin “so we get your boyish charm with a BAU baby? Win win!” she giggled and the team laughed, glad such a thing could be handled like anything else and there was clearly a warm welcome to the news, including an inclusive nature around all the hows and whys. The relief in Spencer was visible and Aaron left a kiss on his temple, the image of the serious boss man smiling and showing his affections something to make the team find the whole thing so heartwarming.

Morgan toyed with asking something, hoping it wasn’t insensitive but he and Reid were brotherly and that hadn’t changed so he asked “so…is my calling you ‘pretty boy’ offensive?” in a half joke, and the genius laughed so all was good.

“Well given that _I_ don’t find it offensive…no” he answered simply and there were smiles all around.

Penelope also offered her own take on it by teasing “you can keep calling him that _chocolate thunder_ ” earning a laugh from he team and proving just how subjective offensiveness was since Morgan didn’t bat an eye at the nicknames given to him either.

“I get your point, baby girl” he chuckled “speaking of which, when will you know what you’re having?” Morgan asked, returning the topic to the pregnancy.

Hotch whom had taken the role of quiet support for the last little while was the one to answer “we’re actually thinking of leaving that a surprise” he informed and the excitement in the group was undeniable. 

“Oh my gosh, Jack’s getting a brother or sister” Emily realised too and instantly there was happy chatter about how good a big brother he would be and further excitement and questions about the baby. Eventually the team were so taken with the news they were having their own conversations, the team really like one big family and Spencer turned slightly to Aaron, hiding the teary eyes with his wavy hair and Aaron put an arm around him, a warm smile too helping Spencer remain calm.

“See, told you they’d be happy” Aaron said quietly, just between them and Spencer nodded cutely and he could tell the genius was feeling ‘too good’ again. So Hotch continued a light conversation letting it look natural that Spencer face him as he tried to get the tears under control, he wasn’t afraid of letting the team see him emotional he just genuinely didn’t want to let it get too much so he took calming breaths and blinked the tears away, Aaron the whole time looking at him fondly. 

“I think…” Spencer said in a whisper “I think I was so focused on the anxious parts, I never prepared myself for how much they’d care…” 

“They’re all very excited to be aunts and uncles” Aaron said simply and Spencer couldn’t help but look at the team, he’d gone from just him and his mom which was it’s own often lonely scenario, to feeling so loved with Aaron to starting a family with the pregnancy and including his relationship with Jack, to realising just how big a family he’d gained with the team. 

There was a sudden exclamation of “Oh, I get to go shopping!!” from Penelope making everyone laugh out loud, but the blonde unfazed just started talking about all the little stores she knew of and clearly eager to get buying all sorts. JJ flashed a smile to the couple and looked to Spencer, she did warn him Penelope would be right onto buying for the baby, and she just said “we can’t fight it, let her fly free.”

Eventually the excitement moved into a happy hum over the group, though Penelope and JJ hadn’t stopped talking about it but much calmer during the flight, though JJ was largely trying to talk Garcia out of some more over the top purchases and trying to reign it in. Emily couldn’t stop finding it adorable when Spencer started to read a pregnancy book, and not at his usual lightning speed, it was still fast by average standards but he clearly was enjoying it and it was just so sweet. 

Morgan and Rossi couldn’t stop smiling at Hotch, so many layers of smugness well deserved at so much good news, Aaron’s relationship with the good doctor clearly a strong one and moving forward in amazing ways. After a while Spencer fell asleep on Hotch’s shoulder again and the older man didn’t stir him, the adorable genius more than welcome to use him as a human pillow.

Rossi from his seat close by chuckled at the sight “you got any more to add to this scene?” he teased “I don’t quite think you’ve shown off everything yet” he joked, implying there was plenty to be envious of given all the good news and clearly happy couple. Aaron hadn’t stopped smiling since they told everyone and it was obvious he was excited to be a father again. Rossi was also still in some awe over all that was revealed today so he said “you could have told me you know, the intersex thing” his smile one of reassurance. 

Aaron nodded but explained “it wasn’t any distrust in you or the rest of the team, but it wasn’t my place” and cast a glance to the sleeping young man against his shoulder, the sharing of personal details understandably up to Reid rather than him “…there are some…anxieties…for Spencer around it, not everyone’s as accepting as this team.” 

Dave nodded, knowing plenty how people could be hateful for nonsensical reasons and looked to the young agent, the genius never out of surprises. “You told Jack yet?” he asked.

“Nope” Aaron answered relaxedly “but we will soon.”

“Haley?”

“Double nope, but again, we will soon” Aaron answered “not sure how that’ll go but it’s gotta happen” he sighed and Rossi looked at him sympathetically for having to have that conversation but it wasn’t too bad, Hayley a good person even if the whole thing might be a shock and awkward. 

“You ready to have all the new baby sleepless nights and all that?” Rossi asked but he knew the answer.

“I know it’s a lot, but honestly since Spencer told he was pregnant I’ve had the goofiest grin on my face” he chuckled and added in a self aware manner “I think it might start to freak some people out.”

Laughing, Dave nodded “it isn’t what the serious Aaron Hotchner is known for but it’s understandable…how’s Reid handling it?” 

“Nervous but excited” Hotch answered affectionately “I’m sure you saw how happy he was just reading the baby books, it’s real sweet.”

“You told Strauss?” 

“….soon.”


	20. People To Be Unfolded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon being Gideon, Strauss being Strauss. Spencer being a cute mess as always.

Gideon sat in his office reading through assignments, marking and note making as he went and he heard a knock at the door, being his usual aloof self who also easily honed in on tasks he didn’t stir from his task until he heard the door open and a familiar voice. “Hey, you got any plans for lunch?” he heard and looked up immediately with a friendly smile to the young doctor whom had decided to pay him a visit. Spencer stood there with a smile and holding up a box from a nice cafe that did Gideon’s favourite sandwiches and he had timed dropping by so that they might get to share the break together.

“I do now” Gideon answered with a small chuckle and gestured to the desk across the room, one Spencer often used when he worked there but now it was more practical and on it was a chess board “you want a game?” the older man suggested but they both knew the answer already.

“Perfect” the genius said and was welcomed into the office and they both sat by the board, Spencer unpacking the food while Gideon set up the chess pieces.

They got into a game and bite by bite the sandwiches got munched though half way through the game Gideon watched Spencer struggle with one of the sandwiches and as he inspected the contents to remove the pickles the older man couldn’t stop the chuckle “I thought you liked pickles?” he said, but his smile was implying a little more by it and Spencer couldn’t say he was that surprised, Gideon’s abilities as a profiler still sharp and by his expression the man definitely had a suspicion about the pregnancy, he'd gotten the vibe as such.

“I usually do” Reid answered, the baby however had decided pickles were not on the menu and he didn’t want to push himself to eat something and feel nauseous. 

“How have you been feeling lately?” Gideon asked, they'd had multiple calls but the last time they’d seen each other had been the case Spencer was being ill during but Jason did not come across concerned all that much - but curious - the sly old man definitely knew.

“Well actually that’s something I wanted to tell you,” and as hazel eyes saw the small smirk on Gideon’s face he had no doubts the older man knew already “I don’t know how you know, but I know you _know_ …” and both laughed before it turned into rather warm smiles given the topic they were implying. It was quite the difference between the emotional finding out with JJ and telling Aaron, to the squealing and excitable talking of the team, the calm sharing of news just as wonderful.

Rather than keep it a mystery Jason decided to list, even counting off on his fingers for effect “let’s see…sick in the mornings, tired, aches, a little emotional, I know your medical file, your relationship development, there's more but you get the gist...it adds up.”

Spencer rolled his eyes “should I even say it?” 

“Please” Gideon invited with a knowing smile.

Playing along with the moment Spencer said “I’m pregnant” even though his old mentor knew and they chuckled at the walking through the steps but in a fond manner. “You wanna see?” he said moving to his bag to start pulling out the sonogram picture. 

To that Jason seemed excited, his smile widening as he said “of course” and accepted the picture heartily, being a father himself and looking to Spencer like a son there was an affection that the older man didn’t try to hide as he looked at the image of the little one. “Such a wonderful thing: children” he mused “and how lucky the baby is to have you and Hotch too” he complimented. 

Spencer managed to suppress the flattered blush but he did look grateful for the praise, the idea of being a parent still feeling like a large mountain to climb but everyone was so supportive. “thanks…Aaron’s so excited, I am too, but I've never seen him so happy” Spencer beamed, the very idea of the often stoic Aaron being so uncontrollably smily warming his heart “it’s so surreal, someone still so tiny causing so much fuss.” 

“That’s what baby’s do best” Jason replied with a warm smile “getting grown ups to get all in a tizzy over them…plus it makes sense to get excited over news with so much potential. Jess Lair once wrote ‘children are not things to be moulded…’” he started to quote but Spencer finished it off. 

“…but are people to be unfolded” Spencer completed the sentence with a small giggle. 

“You’ll do great, and you love learning, no better teacher than a child” Gideon advised and moved his chess piece, both knew the older man was losing this game, Spencer finally getting the better of him and Jason couldn’t find it in himself to mind. “Congratulations, Spencer.”

* * *

Hotch’s lunch was spent in a not so friendly way, having a working lunch in a meeting with Strauss and it was started with general discussion of the BAU but largely to go over her report observing the couple and the team’s input. Luckily all was well but it still wasn’t how Aaron liked to spend his time, how Rossi and her got together was beyond him, but he supposed some people might not fully get his own with Spencer. 

“…from all the information gathered the report has been approved and there shouldn’t be any issues around Dr Reid and yourself working together as you are. You’re professionalism and practical mindset in the field is impressive” Strauss acknowledged and Aaron nodded, eyes slightly narrowed on her as he knew it wasn’t so simple.

“What’s the catch?” he asked shrewdly.

Strauss leaned back on her chair, lips pursed slightly in thought as she considered her phrasing, clearly a ‘catch’ to come, “It’s hardly anything…” she tried to lighten but it didn’t help Aaron relax at all, knowing she was always looking to maximise an opportunity and keep her image as clean as possible. “There’s a conference I would like you both to attend, that’s a standard event though, there’s an important little get-together afterwards…”

“There it is” Aaron sighed, maintaining the eye contact to let the woman know just how transparent she was, his brow quirked in a judging manner.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Strauss tried to wave of the suspicions “its just to show face and make sure higher ups know your relationship is serious for themselves, it’s a _good_ thing, some would kill to rub shoulders with them.” Before Aaron could speak she then added and getting right to the point “it’s a small price to pay for you working alongside, actually, being the _boss_ of a young genius early in his career with the FBI whom you happen to be _dating_. Just go as the couple you are and spend a night asking higher ups about their holiday homes” she said like it was the simplest and easiest thing and while Aaron was not looking forward to it - Strauss was unfortunately right.

Aaron’s expression was clearly not enthusiastic but one night of polite small talk and biting the tongue was worth never having to hear about it again, “fine” he agreed reluctantly “I’ll inform Reid also.” Strauss smiled and they quickly wrapped up the meeting after that, lunch was finished and they parted to return to other duties. 

On the way to his office Hotch picked up a mug of strong coffee, the few of the team around at the lunch hour giving him space after his meeting since he’d likely want a breather and when he finally sat in his own office he let out a sigh of relief. The stress of meetings like that made him only appreciate his coffee all the more and he was both very sympathetic around Spencer having to give it up and yet incredibly grateful the genius didn’t ask him to do the same. 

He hadn’t informed Strauss of the pregnancy yet, it was just a formality but he wanted to have her finished with her report and the last while he’d barely had a chance to think. She would find out soon and everything would be done by the books, but he wanted at least a moment to let everything sink in for them and have Jack know first.

Pulling out his wallet he looked to the small sonogram picture and couldn’t contain the smile, thinking of the little one more of a comfort than any coffee but to have them hand in hand sure did the soul some good, the only thing better would be to have Jack playing by his side and Spencer being his usual adorable self. Stirred from his thoughts his phone started to ring and he quickly saw it was Gideon.

He knew Spencer had went to visit him and deliver the good news, “hey, Jason” Hotch answered calmly though he knew Spencer would have only just not long left the man’s office and it was always impossible to gage the mood of the older profiler. 

“Hotch” Gideon acknowledged but his tone was practical and moved onto something more severe, perhaps not unlike the visit paid earlier in his relationship with Spencer, Gideon a bit protective of the young genius. “This doesn't affect his career,” Jason said simply, and Aaron felt a little bewildered by it but as Jason said “got it?” strongly it left little time for the chief to think of a reply.

Of course it was yet another whirlwind Gideon encounter, but Hotch appreciated what he was saying in not so many words, that Spencer’s prospects shouldn’t be compromised by motherhood and that was nothing to protest. Both Spencer and Hotch loved their jobs and it was part of who they were, maternity and paternity leave going to be well savoured but a balance of work and family going to be struck just right for them. “…got it”

There was a pause but when Jason spoke again it was instantly cheerier “good, and congratulations” and Aaron didn’t bother to hide the somewhat stunned chuckle, some people never change.

“Thanks, Jason...”

* * *

A couple days later Spencer sat at his desk working through files, getting through the week the couple moved closer and closer to seeing Jack at the weekend and they would be telling him about the sibling on the way. Understandably he was rather nervous, the boy so accepting so far and it was big news, not to mention it would bring other things to light for the child to learn. 

On top of that, today had been particularly strong around the nausea, luckily since the team knew about the baby he could warn them and all had made sure to eat their food away from him and Garcia was quick with the mints for extra measure. But it didn’t stop the queazy feeling or the sore tummy and poor appetite as everything he thought to eat just made his stomach turn.

He started to work a little slower and his head felt rather heavy, the fatigue didn’t help but he could tell it was closer to the dizziness around nausea and not having much to eat so he lay his head down on his arms for a little bit, waiting for the feeling to pass. He remained that way on his desk for a couple of minutes before he heard JJ’s voice say “oh Spence, you okay? need anything?” her voice caring and everyone knew he was having a tough day. 

Without lifting his head Spencer spoke, slightly muffled by his position but heard well enough “you’re the fourth person to ask me that in the last hour, do I look that miserable?” 

“No, but it can be tough, is it still the nausea?” the blonde asked.

The head of wavy hair nodded meekly in a rather cute way but there was also a pang of sympathy for how he was feeling, “a bit dizzy…” he grumbled before adding “but Morgan’s on break and bringing back some saltines for me” and sounded grateful for the simple purchase of gram crackers in an adorably profound way but she stifled the laugh. 

Noticing the genius’ water was empty JJ offered “here, let me refill that for you” and grabbed his cup.

“Thanks, JJ” Spencer said and started to lift his head slowly, he could feel a headache coming on and his head felt as if it weighed like a bowling ball and he decided this wasn’t just a five minute rest sort of deal, he needed a proper break so he could collect himself rather than pushing through and making himself feel worse. 

He flipped the current file he was working on closed and went to stand slightly to place it back in it’s pile but as he did so a sudden wave of unsteadiness hit him and for a moment he just felt shaky. However that was quickly followed by a strong dizzy spell and feeling faint, his vision blurring in a way he couldn’t even think through. Seeing the sudden change and clearly disoriented genius JJ rushed back to his side “Spence, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly and got there just in time before he could have fallen, his balance off and she managed to catch and have his weight on her enough to not hit the ground. 

Spencer couldn’t hear her, flushed and blood pulsing in his ears, only able to feel the head rush mixed with the darkened vision with lights across it, crackling and fading in and out. Meanwhile hearing the blonde’s concern Aaron in a flash was out of his office and joining the pair at Spencer’s desk, a pang of worry hitting him as he saw Spencer so out of it so suddenly. Still faint Spencer nearly fell from his chair despite JJ’s help and it was Hotch to step in and hold him up firmly, unafraid to put his arm around him strongly and get close if need be.

Fully supported by Hotch, Spencer mumbled something incoherent through the dizzy spell and Aaron did his best to stay calm “Spencer, you just lean on the desk alright? Rest your head” he said and even grabbing Spencer’s jacket off the back of his chair to use as a makeshift pillow. Reid didn't answer but was guided carefully to put his weight forward and rest, only he wasn’t so stable and could only barely make anybody's voices out. JJ, seeing Hotch had him under his care, went to get him his water as originally intended while Aaron kept the young agent from falling and rubbing his back tenderly, speaking to him in a soothing voice. 

Aaron watched Spencer, the deep breaths and still hazy and while the initial threat of a fall had been scary he had to remind himself it was perfectly normal, especially right now. Feeling faint, sudden drops in blood pressure and hormone changes, as well as not eating regularly due to nausea all contributed to fainting spells particularly around the first trimester. It was easier said than done however, that instinctual need to protect his lover and mother of his unborn child a powerful one and there wasn’t anything he could do, not to mention how guilty he felt seeing the young man go through so much.

“Spencer, can you hear me okay?” Aaron asked softly, seeing Spencer’s breathing even out a bit better, but something inaudible was heard and when the genius went to lift his head he added “don’t try to get up, just wait it out, sweetheart” rubbing a hand down Spencer’s back affectionately. 

“Jussst dizzy…” Spencer managed to get out and Hotch was glad to hear it wasn’t necessarily accompanied with anything to be alarmed about even if the fainting had given a bit of a fright, especially thinking about if no one had been around to catch him. 

“It’s okay, just focus on your breathing…there’s no rush” he comforted despite his still racing heart while the blonde returned with an iced water to help when he was able to drink it and while JJ gave a friendly hand to Reid’s arm and a few words of kindness she left the couple to it with a sympathetic smile.

Staying with Spencer for a few minutes Aaron didn’t budge from his side and he knew if they’d been at either of their apartments he wouldn't have hesitated to lift the young man and carry him to bed for a rest, but he knew Spencer probably wouldn’t want to be seen so vulnerably in front of peers. “When you feel ready to move you can take a nap on the couch in my office” he offered, he didn’t have any meetings today and with the door closed it could be quite private. 

After a while Spencer started to feel the weight in his head lift and not as flushed, but was still a bit light headed but he felt okay enough that he wasn’t about to fall and turned his head to look at Aaron “sorry for worrying you…I’m fine…” his voice so quiet and shy but at least he was coming around.

Aaron smiled, bringing his hand up to card through Spencer’s hair tenderly “you just focus on you, was it just a fainting spell?” he checked, making sure Spencer wasn’t masking any alarming pains to go with it.

“Yeah, I think so…” Spencer mumbled “I’m not in pain except the usual light headache…”

Nodding Hotch eventually saw Spencer’s senses sharpen well enough the genius could down his water, he was still a bit shaky so it was likely a dip in blood sugar too, and eventually Aaron could help him stand and to his office, the genius grumbled something about how he felt like a kid being put to bed but it was said lightly and just out of the sudden unexpected situation he found himself in. Usually such severe dizziness came with morning sickness, but it was understandable how it could happen later in the day given how harsh his symptoms had been the last couple of days. 

Arranging the cushions and finding a throw Hotch worked on autopilot doing whatever he could to make him comfortable, seeing the young agent all bundled up on the sofa a cute image if only he was taking a nap rather than following the fainting. Hazel eyes opened and he was stillbit blurry at the edges of his vision but he liked hearing Aaron’s voice and the feeling of the older man placing a kiss to his temple heart warming before deciding to take the much needed nap.

By the time Spencer had nodded off and the fatigue catching up to him quickly, Aaron breathed a sigh of relief and was just grateful he hadn't had a fall, he spent a long moment just making sure his boyfriend was comfortable and letting his own alert heart rate start to calm down. By the time he felt comfortable that Spencer would just rest he stood and looked through his office door to see  JJ standing, now with Emily and Penelope, all three watching with a mixture of sympathy for Spencer but also some warm smiles - no doubt at seeing the super serious boss man so openly affectionate.

* * *

When Spencer woke up his headache was in full swing, pounding but nothing he couldn't handle and he was likely just in need of a good meal, he felt groggy and still tired as hazel eyes fluttered open, confused for a small while as to where he was. The ceiling unfamiliar and it was only when he moved he realised he was on a dark sofa and in the chief’s office of all places. Rubbing his eyes before peering across the office the young agent saw Aaron working at his desk though the older man had clearly noticed him stirring. 

A glass of water was ready for him on the small coffee table and he considered it but decided to give his body a moment to adjust as he tried to remember how he got there, it was all such a blur but that only made him all the more certain and he asked sleepily “I fainted, didn’t I?” before letting out a small yawn which Aaron found cute though he didn’t mention it, instead nodded as he finished the sentence he was working on.

The last thing the genius could recall was talking to JJ and then it all got foggy, he likely felt faint in the bullpen and was told to rest here though he could barely remember anything, which given his memory was saying something to how disoriented he must have been. “How many saw?” he asked hoping he hadn’t made too big a spectacle of himself. 

Aaron smiled and stood, making his way over to his boyfriend as he answered “not many, mostly JJ and myself, but Prentiss and Garcia saw you getting settled on the couch” and Spencer didn’t seem so sheepish after hearing that. 

“Did you carry me?” Reid asked too however knowing it was how Aaron often handled the dizziness when in the privacy of their homes or hotel rooms. 

“No, I had you lean on me” Hotch said with a smile and sat at the very edge of the couch, Spencer scooting over to make a little bit of room as Spencer as slowly feeling more awake. “How are you feeling?” 

“Headache…” Spencer grumbled “tired… _hungry_ ” he added, an emphasis on the last part and Aaron chuckled, for all Spencer had felt faint amongst other things a lot of it would be helped by simply keeping down some food and if he was hungry it was an ideal chance to get something in his stomach.

“No nausea or dizziness then?” he checked. Spence shook his head, softly to not make his headache any worse but it pounded anyway and he started to pout. Hotch could see the little bit of frustration at the symptoms affecting him so he leaned forward and gave a light kiss to his cheek before offering“how about I send Anderson to pick up something? Whatever you want.”

Spencer nodded again but winced so he made himself sit up, Aaron instinctively went to help but the genius was fine and he was just a little on alert from earlier making him protective. They discussed food and sorted for it to be collected, Spencer blushing a little at the rather odd combination of things asked for but the baby wanted what it wanted, and Aaron handed over the cool water which the genius downed eagerly. 

“You scared us for a second there” Aaron said softly and before Spencer could apologise for something out of his control “but it’s normal from time to time, but I do want to mention that at our next appointment just so Dr Singh knows.”

“I hadn’t kept anything down today or most of yesterday” Spencer mused tiredly, clearly his symptoms taking a bit of a toll “plus hormonal changes and sudden low blood pressure…it’s nothing to get worried about so long as it’s not happening all the time” he spoke, thinking of the books he read. “And hopefully my nausea goes soon” he sighed. 

Aaron watched him softly, Spencer not quite ready to be up and about but he was getting sharper as the moments went by, that pang of worry earlier when he heard JJ’s voice and saw the young man wavering an unpleasant one that wasn’t fading any time soon. But it was only so strong because he cared. “Speaking of which, do you want your saltines?” he offered warmly “Morgan picked them up for you.” 

There was a small smile on Spencer’s lips as he chimed “yes, please.” He wasn’t particularly fond of saltines themselves, it wasn’t like one of his cravings, but they did help settle the stomach and keep future nausea from being not so harsh. 

“I’ll refill you're water while I'm at it” he said before pressing a light kiss to Spencer’s temple and picking up the empty glass, stepping out of his office and to the small kitchen he found himself feeling watched. Looking up from filling the glass with water he saw Strauss, the older woman with a fresh mug of coffee in her hands and while she didn’t appear to be in any mood she did look thoughtful and serious as she often did. 

“Is Dr Reid alright?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am" Hotch answered, keeping his voice neutral and as she still looked focused on the matter he didn't want to risk her going to talk to him herself and bringing the mood down so elaborated “sudden dizzy spell, he’s just taking a moment to get back on his feet.”

“He was ill on the case, is it the same thing? maybe he should see a doctor” she mused and Aaron tried not to smile at what was really causing his symptoms but they had to be pretty bad for Erin to notice.

“That’s a good idea,” Aaron pretended and luckily her phone started to ring, being a busy woman was one of the things he could rely on with her and while she did eye him suspiciously she left him to it and went to take the call in her office.

Strauss had likely came through to the bullpen and noticed Reid wasn’t at his desk, only to be told he was unwell and asleep in the boss’ office, but luckily she hadn’t seemed stern or like she was making an issue of it, and she likely didn’t mind them being a visible couple in the office now she had her report and that they’d be attending her little conference. It was all about what could be spun into a positive and at very least she seemed to see something in his relationship with the genius which made things easier even if she could be a royal pain. 

Picking up the saltines and heading back to his office he went to Spencer who was sat up fully now and while still fatigued looking much better. He handed the younger the glass who accepted it with thanks and started to sip it, glad it was cool and he started on a couple of saltines. There was no hiding it, Spencer’s symptoms so blatant and Reid shouldn’t feel like the usual workload for him wasn’t the bar to hit every time, it was above and beyond the standard but the genius was clearly frustrated at not being his normal self. 

The team knew which helped and if it got declared fully the adjustments might seem more like a standard procedure rather than a personal faltering, “I think we should declare the pregnancy next week, just drop the letter on Strauss’ desk” Aaron said softly and Spencer nodded.

“Probably wise” he said between crackers, finishing one and sipping his water he said “I should be working” and he was clearly feeling a little down.

“Take your time, you need to eat and it'll be here soon” Hotch reminded but he could see those hazel eyes were a bit emotional, feeling on edge and he felt for him, on top of everything he was hormonal and prone to mood swings and they were taking their toll on him. 

“I know, I just…” and Spencer made himself stop to take a deep breath “I don’t like not being able to do my job like I did…” and while he didn’t cry his eyes were a little watery as the frustration hit him hard.

Smiling sympathetically though he did feel guilty whenever Spencer was having a rough time Aaron argued “you just you need to take it easy from being the mega genius you usually are, regular genius is more than enough” and luckily that seemed to help Reid smile through the current low feeling. 

But there was another thing he would be remiss not to mention “I admit…I don’t want you doing anything dangerous in the field, no danger zones, that sort of thing,” and couple met in a long gaze, Spencer accepting that but he couldn't hep but run through how tough things were going to get especially in later months. “Even being on your feet all day, we need to be sensible about it…” Aaron spoke both as his loving boyfriend and his boss, if it was anyone else on the team he’d be just as understanding, the health of the parent and baby more than worth making changes around.

“I know…” Spencer nodded “I don’t want anything to happen to the baby.”

“Or to you” Aaron emphasised and as they were sat side by side on the couch Aaron affectionately bumped their shoulders and it luckily made the younger smile even if things weren’t ideal. “Imagine you’re in a tense scenario and you're suddenly faint, that either means you shouldn't have went into he tense scenario or should have managed your activities to pick fewer moments of action,” Aaron reasoned logically “the team still needs you.” 

Spencer’s smile wasn't so pressed at that, he needed to hear that and he was grateful for Aaron not just telling him everything was great or leaving him to feel all negative, but letting him talk it out in a healthy way. In a slightly lighter mood Spencer teased “you really wanna bubblewrap me, huh?”

Aaron chuckled “or pad around you, if you fall there’s a soft landing” he joked and both laughed “though I think it’ll feel better when we’re moved in together.”

Then the idea of them moving in made both smile, the moving day not far off and it made them both happy to think of waking up every morning side by side and for Aaron to be in better attendance around Spencer during vulnerable moments. Not to mention the baby that would be joining them eventually. “Well don’t worry, I think all the dangerous, kicking down doors stuff is more Morgan’s deal anyway” Reid said lightly and added “and if I faint again I’ll try to do it on you” he giggled and it made Aaron smile.

“That’s what I’m here for.”


	21. Lettuce, Honey, Mangoes and Peanut Butter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belly?

Sitting at Aaron’s dining table, the young genius read over the handwritten letter to his mom, making sure everything was right, at least she already knew of his relationship with Aaron and while it might be a surprise there was no reason to think of his pregnancy as anything but great news and she would be a grandmother! As such he got to write to her with little caution, more effort being in the clarity rather than careful of sensitivities. 

He told her how far along he was, how happy Aaron is and the team are incredible supports and he attached a copy of the sonogram picture for her. It was rare for him to get to tell someone such news without barriers or other things to reveal along with it, but this was his mom and he was sure she’d be overjoyed at the idea of a grandchild so he let her know what he could alongside the general update about how his job was going well and that he would like to make a visit sometime soon and she could meet Aaron.

As he deemed the letter ready he folded it neatly and placed it inside the envelope along with the sonogram and sealed it, writing the address and applying a stamp so he could post it later. Standing he went to the study, Aaron finishing up some files but both knew he was putting off telling Haley, it wasn’t for any personal reasons but it was an odd call to have to make. Leaning in the doorway he saw the older man, his expression focused and looking handsome as always and after finishing a few notes Hotch looked up to him, a small smile too in the friendly glance.

“Is that the letter for your mother?” he asked.

Stepping into the den fully Spencer nodded “yup, would you mind posting it when you go to the store?” he asked and both smiled a little wider at that, Aaron already having offered to pick up a few things including Spencer’s latest craving of honey and mangos, not necessarily together but they were the latest need the baby wouldn’t let him ignore.

“Consider it done” Aaron answered “I’ll be ten minutes to finish up.”

Looking at Spencer, the young agent was quite the vision casually running those slender fingers along the edges of the envelope, he was relaxed and his hair slightly tousled both from playing it as he wrote and the small nap he’d had prior. But Hotch had also noticed the young man kept adjusting his shirt in a slight fidget, it was common enough after a day of having an uneasy stomach, but this was... _different_.

Spencer seemed to be paying particular attention to it, he could start showing any time now though for first timers it could take a bit longer to happen, even so Reid had mentioned feeling his stomach was a bit ‘puffy’ for the last couple of days, but he would shrug and say it was likely just feeling bloated from morning sickness. Even so it was rather cute, and the idea of seeing the baby bump start was something both were looking forward to, as anxious as Spencer could get he would pick whatever meant the baby was healthy and growing any day.

The genius stepped forward and placed the letter on the desk, stealing a quick kiss while he was there and Aaron found himself smiling into it, something so comfy about being in the house today, just calm and enjoying their time. The house phone started to ring, one of the handsets being in the den and looking to the number it was Hayley likely calling about Jack's visit tomorrow.  Hotch gave a look to Spencer and said "guess it's time to tell her" with a small smile, happy to share news of the baby but explaining the whole thing out to someone totally unsuspecting was a bit odd, and the genius decided to leave him to it, any putting off of Aaron telling his ex wife about the baby stopping as he answered the call.  “Hi Haley, how are things?” Hotch answered as he saw Spencer leave the room, likely to go finish off the jar of peanut butter he had been working through or to read more baby books - or both.

And instead of any friendly small talk Hayley had for the times she had spoken to Spencer she knew Hotch understandably so much better and her tone was more practical, she casually brought up a couple of things about her house and family before asking “you're still taking Jack tomorrow, right?”

Aaron steeled himself, he had to tell her since he was going to tell the boy the big news tomorrow, but it was still a little awkward but they had both moved on and living their own lives so he replied “actually, that’s something I needed to talk to you about…” and before he could speak the woman interjected.

“Oh? did something come up?” her tone bordering on a sigh, like some people never change and she was a minute away from bringing up how disappointed Jack would be, luckily however that wasn’t the case.

“No, I am taking him for the weekend” he answered plainly but he took a small pause to consider how to bring up what he needed to, “…but I’ve got something to tell him and it’s best I give you a heads up so there are no big shocks.”

Haley paused, this sort of talk unlike her ex-husband, and eventually tested the waters “is it a ‘work’ thing…or a ‘you and Spencer’ thing?”

“A ‘me and Spencer’ thing” Hotch said and again she interrupted him as he tried to continue.

“Alright…what’s so big a deal I had to get pre-warned?” she asked slightly concerned “are you breaking up? or moving away? or-”

“No, nothing like that,” he eased that worry, Hayley had every right to be concerned about the latter possibility given his relationship with Jack but she was likely feeling suspicious of some bad news and he had to let her know nothing was wrong. “I uh…I don't know any way to gently introduce this…” and that wasn’t the way to go to ease her mind.

“Were you hurt on the job? are you sick?” she asked suddenly a bit worried before a thought hit her “is Spencer sick? Jack mentioned how Spencer wasn’t eating and wasn’t feeling well…”

“ _Everything’s fine_ ” Aaron finally said making it clear that all the concerns weren’t needed, any attempt to be gentle before served only to seem like he was delivering particularly harsh news so he didn’t waste any more time and just said what he needed to. “But…Spencer is going to seem ill for a while and I don't want to hide it from Jack. Hayley…” and he took a steadying breath and just let her hear it “I know this’ll be a shock but - Spencer’s pregnant.”

There was a stunned silence and he didn’t pressure her into speaking but she was clearly going over what words had just been said and trying to understand them, “…wait, _what_?” she eventually managed to summon, her voice uncertain, “Aaron…did you just say Spencer’s is _pregnant?_ ” her tone was clearly bewildered but she was trying to get some grasp of what Aaron was telling her.

“Yes…” Hotch confirmed calmly, his voice conveying his honesty “I know it’s a lot, but we’re very happy about it and Spencer’s moving in with me” he let all the information be heard and Hayley could start to process it. The woman didn’t know about Spencer’s sex, so while the layers of realisation not too complex they were still a surprise, and then to add that there was a baby and just how much was piled into one phone call was a great deal to handle out of the blue.

“Huh…w-wow…uh…you’re sure?” she asked, clearly dumbfounded but she’d at least grasped that Spencer was capable of getting pregnant and hadn’t reacted aversely to that, and she then qualified what her slightly numb mind had been trying to ask “I meant...are you sure about the baby?" she asked, likely wanting to know that they were absolutely sure before telling Jack "…and...sure about moving in? Just because he’s pregnant doesn't mean you have to move in togethe….” and she trailed off realising how personal she was getting but the pair were still friends and their lives connected by Jack so it was an easy trap to step in.Then she rambled in addition “w-wait, is ‘he’ right? I…I don't want to be rude, or-”

“Haley, calm down,” he cut her off, her mind having filled with so much at once he did his best to break things down for her. “I don't blame all the confusion, it’s a lot, I know” and he could almost feel her relax a little over the call, especially as he didn’t take any offence to her asking personal relationship questions. He didn’t mind her asking so long as they weren't accusatory or entitled to that part of his life, which they weren’t at their core. “I was going to ask Spencer to move in with me anyway, the baby just made me actually ask him when I did” he explained sincerely and that seemed to help her realise the situation better. 

“Oh, okay…” she said sounding a little more grounded but still hesitant, something in her voice he couldn’t quite place but then they didn't quite know each other like they used to. “This is all a bit fast, don't you think?” she asked but instantly regretted it “forget I said that, it just… _to me_ it feels fast, I just haven’t seen you as a pair much and…sorry” she apologised. 

Aaron bit his tongue on the thought that entered his mind just then, he was a profiler after all, and from her voice she sounded…down? It was confusing and he didn’t want to dwell on it, she was moved on and dating a guy called Bryan, she wasn’t... _jealous_ …right? He told himself not to encourage such an egotistical idea but he couldn't deny some of the ways she’d been looking at him lately fit, not necessarily in a want to get back together, but when Jack brought up Spencer or if Aaron ever did in their chats she seemed to react a little reluctantly. 

She had nothing against Spencer at all, and she was a good woman in her heart, so maybe she was just dealing with her own confusing feelings and it wasn’t his place to go poking around at them as her ex or as a profiler. It didn’t make a difference anyway, they had broken up for a reason and weren’t compatible people, certainly not like how Hotch had found in Spencer and he knew as difficult as separating and getting a divorce had been at the time it had worked out how things were meant to. They had Jack and had a few great years together but that was all it was meant to be and now he had Spencer - it was it’s own kind of perfect.

“It’s alright” Hotch replied though his tone conveyed it was understood she meant nothing by it rather than welcoming the outside opinion, at least on that topic but he wanted them to understand each other as best as possible. “I know it seems that way, it’s hard to explain but we connected very well and early on - we’re not forcing anything we don't both want” and he made that very clear before moving onto the other question she’d had. “And yes, ‘he’ is correct.”

Spencer had given him permission to tell Hayley the full truth, and it seems that after telling the team had gone so well the young agent had gained at least a little more confidence on the topic. “Spencer is intersex,” he explained “I’m not going to go into details but he has both sexes, as far as gender he is male” and everything was said plainly and simply.

“I…” Hayley started but lost her nerve, Hotch could tell she was wanting to ask something along the lines of ‘why didn't you tell me’ but she knew that wasn't right, she had no right to know and it wasn't her business. “I see…” she managed to say as everything finally seemed to start sinking in “I don't know what to say…has...has he seen the doctor?”

Aaron smiled then, finally really getting somewhere and he was able to say with confidence “we’ve been for a scan and he’s just over 12 weeks now, everything is healthy but Spencer’s having a bit of a rough time of it, hence why Jack knows he’s been feeling ill…” and after that Hayley, while still shocked was sounding a bit more like her usual self.

“Oh, I hope it lightens up for him” she said kindly, knowing herself how morning sickness totally sucked and perhaps it was that empathy that helped her bridge the gap between her mind boggled state and the subject at hand. “How…how are you going to tell Jack?” she asked curiously, accepting that this was the truth and something that had to be handled, moving forward with it in stride even if totally unexpected.

Aaron leaned back on his chair, running his free hand through his hair glad to have gotten over the hardest part of the conversation and to be on the other side speaking so practically. “As simply as possible,” he answered “but he’s a smart kid…between me and Spencer being together and from his classmates he understands a fair amount” he referenced, some of Jack’s classmates having parents or older siblings who were trans or in same sex relationships and he handled that without blinking an eye. 

“I think if I explain Spencer’s a bit of a boy and a bit of a girl and he was born that way, Jack will be fine with that…” and both parents had to agree, Jack a very open learner and so long as his questions weren't dismissed or lied to he took things very well. “Besides...I think he’ll be more focused on being a big brother…” he added and he could just tell that idea hit Haley, not able to deny Jack would be so happy at the news and amazing in the role.

“He will love that…” she mused, her voice warm for the first time the whole call and bringing the newly revealed information around Jack was likely helpful for her to focus on the situation. “We’ve got a good boy” she said and both smiled, knowing the weekend was going to be just fine, “I’m still wrapping my head around this but if you're happy and Jack’s gonna be happy…I look forward to the excited way he’s gonna be when I get him back on Monday” she laughed and Aaron too chuckled at the idea. 

“Thank you” Aaron said with a smile, everything going just fine and Hayley finally sounding more like herself much easier than before as she added “and tell Spencer I hope things lighten up soon, it can feel real rough” she said understandingly, and the blonde considered her symptoms to be light in general so it must be hard on him.

“I will,” the mood very much lightened and suddenly very supportive “I should go, I’m on shopping for food cravings duty” he chuckled and she too gave a small laugh. 

“Let me guess pickles and ice-cream, maybe peanut butter?” she asked in a fun way. 

“Peanut butter, yes,” Hotch confirmed in a friendly tone “but he actually has an aversion to pickles, but mangos and honey have now made the list.”

“Nice” she chimed “okay…well, I won't keep you, you two enjoy yourselves and I’ll drop off Jack tomorrow morning.” 

“Thanks, and you have a good night yourself Haley.” 

“This is still a bombshell I’m working through, Aaron” she sighed but he could hear the smile, the blonde likely thinking of Jack getting all excited and how he would be around a baby “but congratulations.”

* * *

Aaron sat crosslegged on the bed, reading one of the many pregnancy books Spencer had already read through, he’d read a lot before but there was always new information or seeing it in a new light, besides Spencer could read so fast he maxed out his library card and asked to use Aaron’s too so there were plenty. He could hear water running in the ensuite, the genius taking a quick shower before bed and Aaron couldn’t stop smiling.

Spencer still had four weeks left on his apartment which left plenty of time to pack but they’d spent some time going over what would go where when living together which was fun, planning the steps in their relationship always something he enjoyed. On top of that Spencer’s sonogram on the nightstand just added to the list of good things happening between them, each had a personal copy and Gideon and JJ had copies too which was really sweet, Penelope had gotten a digital copy from JJ’s and the last two were for Spencer’s mother and one for Jack.

After telling Haley, Aaron felt really positive about telling Jack about the baby, and he had the idea of asking Jack to help pick things for the nursery when they got around to doing up the spare room which would be a good way to include him. He was very grateful that he’d decided to buy the house he did after his divorce, at first he thought he was buying a big place just to have it not be so full and at first it was admittedly a bit lonely but he knew he always wanted space for what he already had like a room for Jack when he stayed over and a den but also whatever might be yet to come in life. As it was, the sunroom was going to make a very beautiful space for Spencer to have his books and read in a peaceful part of the house, and the second spare room was going to be for the little one. 

Reading through the book it explained the foetal development week by week, he was staying away from the symptoms to expect sections since he was still a little on edge about Spencer fainting earlier, not so much that it happened but about the dangers of a fall like that. If JJ or Aaron hadn’t been there it would only take one bad dizzy spell and the corner of his desk to make a very dangerous situation. Luckily after his rest the genius seemed much better and he’d eaten well since so hopefully it wouldn't be happening again with any luck. 

Meanwhile Spencer stood in shower, water running over his body as he ran his fingers through his wet hair and even just the act of lifting his arms which elongated his body slightly made him feel - _different_. His hips were sore but that was normal, it was just his _form_ felt unusual somehow and he could place it. He had always been skinny, slightly underweight given his height, and he just felt filled out a little in a way he couldn’t quite put his finger on the last few days. Subtle things like maybe a dip at his bony hips had smoothed out a bit but it was so hard to tell.

However this time as he looked down at himself the typically flat, even concave stomach appeared convex…rounder. He would usually dismiss such an idea, like maybe he’s just bloated, or maybe it was the peanut butter and he’s put on a couple pounds? Being so thin the littlest bit of weight was very noticeable on him but this time he couldn't stop looking at it, it wasn’t fat, however slight - it was distinctly _curved._

It appeared to be the tiniest little bump and it was specifically over his belly, no weight anywhere else that he could notice and he decided he needed a better look so he finished getting clean and grabbed a towel to dry at least a little before standing in front of the mirror. Before his relationship with Aaron he never did like looking at himself so much, especially not completely nude as he was and always felt gangly but he was passed a lot of the insecurities now and he was happy to be in his own body. 

There was definitely something _different_ around his midsection but he wondered if it was a trick of the mind or wanting to see the bump since it could happen any time, so he had to be sure. For a little while he got a bit lost just looking in the mirror, turning to the side and when he went to place the towel around his hips it just sat a bit unusually over his front, at least for him. He then stood side on from his reflection and tried to suck in his tummy, but it just didn't move like regular weight did and stayed undeniably round even if it was only a little.

“Aaron” Spencer called through to the bedroom and the moment he’d done so kind of wish she hadn’t, the sound of the shower stopping followed by longer than normal silence and then calling after the older man probably made it sound like he was unwell or dizzy again and true enough Hotch was quick to the door.

“Are you okay?” his voice slightly concerned as he stepped into the bathroom prepared to see the genius dizzy on the floor or at least upset over something with how his hormones had been playing up lately. But instead he saw Spencer standing looking just fine, not to mention Spencer dripping wet and only in a towel was a more than attractive sight with his soaked hair clinging to flushed skin. 

“I’m fine” Spencer reassured and it came as a relief to Aaron who was now just more curious than worried especially as the young man blushed and asked a bit shyly “but, am I just seeing things…or is there a belly?” 

Realising just what Reid was asking Aaron smiled and moved closer to him, giving him a proper look over, he was slim as always but as he looked to Spencer’s stomach which he knew well, he’d kissed it and touched it many times both before and after learning of the baby and there was an undeniable baby bump. It was small but it was there. Smiling wider Hotch answered “yes, definitely” and stepped in front of the genius giving him an affectionate kiss as his hand trailed over the sight curve. “How do you feel?”

Spencer looked both excited and maybe stuck by the development a little strongly, and hazel eyes glanced down to see Aaron’s hand over his stomach, a small but very much real baby bump and he couldn’t stop the warm smile and feeing a bit emotional. “R-Really good” he answered, the baby healthy and growing inside of him, “this is so crazy” he mused, his body changing and everything so real “in the best way,” he added and started to well up a little, “I just wish I could stop crying at everything” he giggled.

Aaron chuckled and moved forward to hug Spencer, not caring about getting damp as he said “it’s normal, and the baby bump is a great reason to have some happy tears” and they joined in a small kiss for a moment, the touch very welcome. “Just wait until the baby’s so big the kissing needs to be done strategically” and both laughed. 

Looking to the mirror again Spencer kept getting mesmerised by the sight and his heart doing a happy flutter, as challenging as the reality of pregnancy might be he would take any of it in stride so long as the baby was healthy. “Okay, I need to stop looking at it and get dressed” he told himselfand Aaron smirked.

“Do you?” Hotch teased, placing a kiss to Spencer’s cheek and then another to just under his ear and Spencer felt his blush darken, the rush of emotions contributing to how he wanted to be close to Aaron just now, to get lost in his strong arms, the father of his child so affectionate and able to make him feel good so damn easily. 

“I suppose not” he giggled, Aaron trailing kisses down his throat “you don’t mind I’m a weepy mess?” he asked but knew the answer, especially as Aaron’s hand smoothly felt over his stomach and down to his hip, fingers loosening the towel until it fell free and to the floor by their feet.

“Never.”

* * *

As morning came Spencer lay on his back, a little heart burn but no nausea and he hoped the worst of the morning sickness was passed, he lay contentedly in bed, hair tousled against the plush pillow and in their sleep Aaron had ended up hugging his middle which was sweet on so many levels. On the one hand Spencer loved being held but he also liked Aaron’s strong shoulders, so to be able to rest his hand down against his shoulder or play with Aaron’s dark hair all while being cuddled and was bliss. 

Maybe there was also something primal that made him really happy to see the father of his unborn child so present and close. They were picking up Jack later and Spencer with every sharing of the news got more and more comfortable so he was definitely looking forward to telling the boy the news more than he was nervous. He was tired as always but he felt it was partly due to the eventful few days, fainting in the office was one thing but then for Aaron to tell Haley and for him to start showing was a lot so quickly.

After realising there was a bump he and Aaron hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other, not all sexually of course though that was more than fun, but hugs and kisses, just wanting to be around the other and Spencer had never felt more…grounded. It was hard to find the right word but he was reminded of his mother somewhat, despite all the love of education and as intelligent as they were, she often returned to saying ‘we’re animals’, she held it as a truth equal to any other fat and he couldn’t deny he was starting to understand.

But it wasn’t a reminder of baser things, it was not dismissive of the wisdom of man or how complex people were, it was one element amongst the rest and the more in tune with his body and urges he became the more everything fell into balance. He was having to listen to himself in ways he couldn’t fathom before, how specific the cravings were and yet he just _knew_ , and so much more. He was also feeling some intense wants and very suddenly, one moment he might want to be held, the next he might want Aaron to have him right then and there, then he wanted some alone time, to eat a particular food or sleep, to be around friends, to talk to his mom and they could be a little tough to navigate especially as some weren’t that accessible at the drop of a hat. 

He noticed Aaron start to stir awake, the man stretching slightly before settling into the hug more, arms around Spencer’s middle and it made the genius smile, a hand moving so he could card his fingers through dark hair. Both let themselves enjoy the lazy Saturday morning in bed before they’d have to get up and pick up Jack, and Aaron too was looking forward to it. Placing a small kiss to Spencer’s midsection he then looked up and said “morning” warmly.

“Morning” Spencer practically hummed, in total heaven at least for now and he was really hoping it lasted, both the cuddling and the lack of morning sickness and he could have a good breakfast later. 

As Aaron lay his head back down by Spencer’s side his hand naturally caressed over the little bump and just spending time in each others arms felt so good. Casting his eyes to the clock on the nightstand he said “We’ve got a couple of hours” he assessed from the time “do you wanna swing by the library on the way and exchange some books?”

“That would be good” Spencer answered “...and I need lettuce” he added and both chuckled.

“We can get lettuce” Aaron said with a smile, “are we out already?” he asked, they’d literally got more last night and he hadn’t shied away from picking up a lot.

“I have some in the freezer” Spencer answered like it was the most normal thing in the world, he liked putting it in the freezer so it would get frozen and extra cold and crunchy “but that’ll be gone by lunch” he said with certainty.

“We can check the craving inventory before we go” Hotch chimed with a smile, “and we can pick up some snacks for Jack too while we’re at it.”

“I hope he’ll be as happy as we think he will” Spencer said softly, they didn't really have any doubts on the matter but children could be full of surprises “but I think he’ll like choosing some things for the baby,” he added, Aaron’s idea to include the boy in such a way a strong one. 

Aaron felt a warmth in his chest at how centred on Jack Spencer could often be, he didn’t have to be, Aaron was fully prepared when he became a single father that sometimes new partners don’t fully fall into the role or at least not easily. He always figured so long as a partner and Jack got along and respected each other it would be fine, and so long as Aaron’s own relationship with his son was never compromised. 

But he was a profiler and while there were plenty who did, he knew many new partners, especially if they didn't have prior children of their own could be less prone to accepting another child as their own. But Aaron could just tell Spencer would do anything for Jack and their relationship was growing more all the time, even with the genius’ first kid of his on the way he never failed to find joy in the boy he’d first connected with. 

Sitting up slightly Aaron looked down at his lover who was quite the vision so relaxed in bed as he was, and placed a kiss over the young man’s chest before saying “you know…it means a lot to me, how much you care about Jack” with a kind smile and hazel eyes appeared to enjoy what was said, “thank you”.

“Jack’s awesome” Spencer said honestly and with a warm expression, like it was the easiest thing in the world to like the boy’s company “there’s no need to thank me” and Aaron could tell Spencer really meant it which only made him fall in love all over again at the accepting, sweet young man in his life.

“Even so…I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you” Hotch said and Spencer’s fingers ran through his hair again affectionately, “and I’m sure Jack will be just as open to his new sibling” and no more words were needed, both just looking forward to the day and for Jack to learn the good news.


	22. The High Ups and The Low Downs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling Jack and Spencer's mood swings are getting a bit rough on him.

“Can I have some mango?” Jack asked eyeing the bright fruit on Spencer’s plate. 

The genius smiled and nodded, pushing his plate over for them to share, “sure, Jack” he said before putting one of the pieces into his own mouth, tasting the sweetness and the boy followed suit making happy noises as he ate. 

The couple had been having a relaxed day with Jack, wanting him to have some chill time first before the news was shared. The weather had been warm so there had been some fun in the garden and practicing soccer which was an adorable sight to see, Aaron ‘losing’ to the little boy but it was good to play, the joyful fatherly tendencies often came out in Aaron in times like that and Spencer couldn’t stop looking at him. 

“When are you moving in with, daddy?” the child asked to Spencer, smiling with his cheek puffed full of mango adorably.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full” Aaron said in a light chuckle as he joined them at the table, having cut up some extra mango since they were getting through it at quite the pace.

Spencer swallowed his own mouthful before replying “well I’m going to start packing up tomorrow night and will get ready to move over the next couple of weeks, and your daddy’s gonna help me move furniture too.”

Hotch thought it over, he knew some of Spencer’s furniture like his desk and bookcases were antique and heavy, “I think we should get Morgan to help as well, I don’t want you even touching any of the heavy lifting” Aaron said and they both knew why, being pregnant it was best he not strain himself too much “I’m sure he’d be happy to lend a hand.”

“I‘ll help, then moving will be faster” Jack said excitedly and both adults exchanged a glance, known they should probably tell the boy the full story “and why can’t Spencer lift heavy stuff, daddy?” he asked curiously next and this time they knew it was time.

Letting Aaron take the lead in this Spencer just said “well Jack, there’s actually something we want to talk to you about, and I’ll just be back in a sec” before standing to go collect the sonogram picture for the boy to keep.

Meanwhile Aaron looked at his son who was looking intrigued, smiling despite his mind a little clouded all of a sudden trying to find the easiest way to explain what he needed to but he leaned his elbows on the table, and chin on his hand as he spoke as clearly as possible. “So, Jack…you know how Spencer’s tummy was a bit upset before and he’s been extra sleepy?” The boy nodded doing his best to listen as Hotch continued “well…I really want you to know that Spencer is totally fine, but there is a reason why those things are happening.”

Seeing the boy was following him so far Aaron smiled as Spencer rejoined them with the picture in hand and taking a deep breath the genius placed the image in front of the boy who looked at it curiously. Aaron then reached over to point out on the sonogram picture where the child was while saying “and the reason why Spencer’s been feeling that way…is because he’s going to have a baby” he put as simply as possible and let Jack take in the information one part at a time.

The boy looked surprised at the words, his eyes wide for a moment and he looked between his father and then to Spencer, then to the picture again and repeated the process as his young brain tried to piece things together. He didn’t seem upset or anything but he was just a little confused as he tried to work through his thoughts “but…but how can a _boy_ be a _mommy_?” Jack asked, his question entirely taken with just figuring out the logic, he hadn’t even had the brain power then to work out the further implications of the news but that was to be expected being so young.

Reid smiled at the boy and answered “well Jack, I _am_ a boy, but you know how boys and girls are different?” and Jack nodded “well sometimes it’s not that simple and I happen to be a… _mix_ ,” he chose to say and Jack didn’t react other than listening to every word “I'm a bit of a boy and a bit of a girl, sometimes that can happen and it’s just the way I am.” 

For a long moment the boy appeared to be deep in thought and he looked awfully cute thinking so hard but when everything finally clicked he went from confused to suddenly realising the situation and his eyes got so excited he looked like he’s just realised it was christmas day. “So…there’s a baby in there??” Jack asked in adorable amazement towards Spencer’s stomach and both men couldn’t contain the smiles. 

“That’s right, Jack” Spencer said warmly trying to keep the emotions at bay, hormones making it very hard, but he pushed through it and placed a hand on his own tummy as he continued “and your daddy is this baby’s daddy…which would make you this baby’s _big brother_.”

Everything was hitting the boy at once and Jack audibly gasped adorably and he looked from Spencer’s tummy to his father and then to the picture “this is the baby?” Jack asked excitedly hit big eyes trying to interpret the shapes and Aaron was quick to point it out again. 

“Yeah, so here you can see the head, then the tummy and arms and legs” he pointed out with a grin at his son barely able to contain his joy practically bouncing on his seat “the baby’s really little right now and it’s got a lot of growing to do…but that is your little brother or sister” Hotch explained clearly and with every word Jack looked ready to burst with joy.

The boy then climbed off his seat a little clumsily but he managed alright before moving to Spencer and hugging him around his waist sweetly “hi baby!!” he greeted the child, maybe there was just something about doing that which ran in the Hotchner blood but Spencer didn't bring that up. “I’m big brother, Jack” and Spencer brought one hand up to Jack’s head affectionately as hazel eyes simultaneously looked to the proud father across the table, the genius clearly moved by the boy’s enthusiasm. 

Then Jack moved close to Spencer’s stomach and for a moment Spencer thought the boy was going to place a kiss or just bury his face there in a snuggling motion but instead he seemed to whisper something which in parts was inaudible but they just made out the words “…I’ll share my toys with you…” and it was just so sweet Spencer bit his lip and tried not to cry, his eyes welling up against all his efforts. 

What happened to the days that sentimentality didn’t faze him? Reid used to be so based in logic he rarely blinked at such things but with his hormones so messed up combined with all the personal and relationship developments he felt like he was crying like clockwork. Spencer let the _siblings_ have their cute hushed chat and tried not to focus on it but the happy feelings were strong and the child noticed after a while. 

“Why are you crying, Spencer? Did I hurt you when I hugged you?” Jack asked with worry in his voice, arms loosening just in case and Spencer was quick to reassure him.

“You didn’t hurt me, Jack” Reid answered and moved to hug him back for emphasis “it’s just that sometimes when someone is having a baby their emotions can be a bit stronger than normal and hearing you so excited to be a big brother makes me very, very happy.”

“Oh, okay” the boy said relieved to have not hurt the genius and he hugged him again before asking “how long until the baby’s here?” his tone enthusiastic and like he couldn't wait.

Aaron chuckled and answered “we’ve got a while yet” and the boy looked pouty for a moment but he was still happy to hear about the news at all, and given Jack’s age and how he gaged the year so far Aaron decided to help him. “So before the baby is due we have your birthday, Spencer’s birthday, Halloween, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and then Valentines Day” he laid out the year of milestones for Jack to space events and marking waiting for the baby with good things really made the whole thing sound good to the boy. 

“So…then it’s the baby’s birthday?” he checked.

Spencer smiled, the kid too cute sometimes and he answered “yes Jack,” with a warm smile “we can’t say exactly when the baby will come but the doctor’s guess is March 1st.”

Jack couldn’t stop grinning and he hugged Spencer’s waist again, “that’s forever!” he exclaimed but he didn’t pout this time “where will the baby sleep?” he asked curiously.

Hotch answered “in the spare room, we need to get a nursery put together, do you think you could help us out with that, buddy?”

“Yeah, I wanna help!” he chimed excitedly and both men laughed, the boy looking between them curiously “you’re so smiley” he noted aloud.

Hotch stood up and went to his son, hand on the boys head affectionately and saying sincerely “you’re gonna make such a great big brother.”

* * *

Sunday afternoon Spencer arrived to his apartment and he thought about just relaxing, the last few days having been so eventful and heartwarming, Jack had taken the news so well it was beyond belief. Ever since the boy had found out about the baby he'd asked questions non stop and wanted lots of cuddles which had moved Spencer into a teary mess a couple of times - damned hormones. But as he looked around he decided to start packing up a little, nothing heavy but he could move books into boxes, sort clothes and so on. He wasn’t particularly attached to the place, he’d started renting when he joined the academy and it was chosen for practicality more than anything else but as he started piling some books into boxes he looked at the steadily emptier shelves and he had to acknowledge that this apartment had seen him through a strong chapter in his life. 

He had changed a great deal while living here, the place he’s called home as he found his passion for profiling, to meeting his mentor Gideon and later his boyfriend Aaron who changed his life completely, the many changes in confidence that occurred mind-blowing when he thought of how scared and quiet he used to be, he was still shy and a bit awkward, okay, a lot awkward depending on the situation, but he had definitely grown so much. Then Jack, his first friendship with a child and the team, reliable and good friends both in work and outside of it too.

And of course the baby, his and Aaron’s child growing inside of him and a future of so many things he’d have never dreamed of before just thrown into his life at the accidental meeting with the older man. As he sorted through his belongings he noticed multiple books with bookmarks still inside them for various reasons from academia to favourite marked passages and he had so many bookmarks which were made from all sorts. Scraps of paper, post it notes, post cards, playing cards and more, but also a few photographs strewn here or there and as he picked up a work by Marcel Pruste he realised there was an image marking a page.

Removing it he saw if was of himself and his mother, both at the park and Spencer only little while on a swing and his mother standing behind him smiling, her hair was long then and while she’d been dealing with her condition for a long while before she had support of William then, that moment being years before he packed up and left. It was a sweet image but a bittersweet one in his chest and he felt a small fear rising in his soul, a voice he tried to keep at bay amongst everything else but it was one of the reasons he really wanted to see his mom. 

Schizophrenia could be genetically passed from parent to child, it wasn’t definite and the statistics simply weren't there to tell him his chances but it was niggling in the back of his mind and it hurt. He would do anything for the baby, but what if this thing that was out of his control got to the child through him? of if it affected him and he couldn’t be as present or responsible as he wished he could be for the little one?

He was still only 23 and the better part of a decade away from when any symptoms might present if he even had it, luckily the one thing he knew was that if he didn’t have the illness then is was radically reduced in chance for it to skip a generation. But that said, he loved his child so much, the idea of him or her growing up to realise their life, in some way, might be limited by something out of their control just like how Spencer lived with that bit of fear in his mind that one day the symptoms might start to appear, he truly wished he could take that worry away. 

He had to tell himself that not everyone had their condition so severely as his mother did, that when it gets rough people don’t just leave like his father did, and that with the right medication and support most cases are treatable and people can live full, happy lives. But…then why was he tearing up? He felt a wave of hot tears hitting him and a couple wetting his cheeks all of a sudden and he didn’t know how to stop it. There was so much hitting him at once, from the fear and the guilt, to the love in his heart and the resilience in him to say no matter what things would work out, he and Aaron would make it work out. 

But it was so hard in that moment to balance it all out and he was torn between trying to snap himself out of it, letting himself cry it out, calling Aaron or calling the sanitarium to speak to his mother who hated phones, she thought the devices were bugged by the government and it would freak her out to use one. Putting the book and photograph down Spencer went to his armchair for a sit down and to try and calm his nerves, he kept trying to tell himself it didn’t matter, that his baby would be loved and cared for regardless but he couldn’t stop the flashing of a memory coming in - of his own father walking out the door.

Taking deep breaths he tried to tell himself Aaron wouldn’t do such a thing, the older man knew about his mother and knew it could be passed and never voiced any concern over it, even with the news of the baby and Reid had every reason to believe Aaron would be a supportive partner and father to the little one. Yet when he thought of the photograph, looking at his mother so happy he knew it was William behind the camera that day, ‘supportive’ and ‘present’, only years later to pack up and go. 

The hormones weren’t helping things either as they piled on and made things worse, he had been having such an amazing few days talking about the baby and the only real lows had been feeling ill, even when he cried before it was happy tears. Even just that morning he’d been cuddling with Aaron, having breakfast with Jack, the boy not stopping talking about his little brother or sister and then so out of nowhere he felt so crappy and down. It was a serious topic, sure, but not one that usually hit him so hard and out of nowhere.

His brain told him that it was a common enough symptom, very high ups and very low downs emotionally at this point in the pregnancy and so the usually well handled line of thinking was suddenly overwhelming. Especially when his mind decided to conjure up the realisation what he was only 23, so by the time the child was 10, the age he had been when his father left, Spencer would be right in the danger years for presenting schizophrenia…so…what if this was just history repeating itself?

Finding it hard to breathe Spencer couldn’t hold in the sob, he wasn’t necessarily sad since he knew so much of it was overthinking and not written in destiny like some rule, Aaron was a _good_ man - a _strong_ man - but irrationally Reid felt a spike of fear which was only followed by embarrassment that he be so instantly illogical and dramatic. He needed to talk to Aaron, needed to hear that comforting voice and be reassured in that panicked moment but as he reached with trembling fingers to his phone he knew Hotch was spending time with Jack, a father son afternoon and he didn’t want to take him away from that.

As he struggled to make himself call as a fresh wave of tears hit him, he hit dial anyway but not without feeling hot with guilt and embarrassment hearing it ring, the only other noise in the quiet apartment being his own sniffles. After a few rings he was close to hanging up when Aaron picked up and in a friendly one answered the call with “Hey Spencer” not yet aware of Spencer’s state. However as Spencer struggled to find the breath and voice amongst the crying Hotch quickly became tense “hey, what’s wrong? are you okay?”

* * *

Aaron sat at home taking the call, Jack playing with some toys in the background since he excused himself to answer the phone and as he listened to Spencer sniffle and clearly crying he wished the young man hadn’t left for his own apartment and instead was right by him so he could wrap his arms around the genius. He listened as several times an upset Spencer tried to find his voice and couldn’t get the words out, something akin to a whimper making Hotch’s heart feel like it was being squeezed.

“I’m going to come over, alright?” Hotch offered as he went to grab his car keys and put his shoes on but he promptly heard the young agent become flustered through his crying.

“N-no,” he managed “I’m…I’m s-sorry, I sh-sh-” he tried but the sobs broke his words apart so Aaron insisted.

“What are you sorry for, love?” the nickname something that just came out “I’m coming over to get you, no arguments” he said calmly but the younger was still upset.

Spencer over the other end of the call continued to sob but with some effort managed to get the breath the speak “I f-f-feel _stupid_ , I’m…I-Im just horm-m-monal, and…a-and I can't think r-right…” he stuttered rather badly, unable to stop the hitching of breath in his chest and it was heartbreaking to hear, especially to hear the genius referring to himself as stupid for any reason and while hormones could make someone feel all kinds of messed up it wasn’t helping to just dismiss them. 

“Spencer” Hotch said firmly “you’re not being stupid, I don't care if you're crying over peanut butter, if it’s important to you, hormones and all, it’s important to me… _talk to me_ ” Hotch said as he continued to get ready listening to his lover struggle.

“B-but…where’s Jack?” Reid asked “th-this is y-your t-time with him and I don’t want-t to in—”

Aaron would have smiled if Spencer weren’t having such a hard time, even in his state he didn’t want to bother the boy, “Jack’s playing and I can get the neighbour to watch him for a little while, it’s not a problem at all, give me five minutes and I’ll call you back from the car” Aaron’s tone was firm and not one to be argued with and eventually after fighting with himself over it Reid managed to agree.

“O-okay…” he said just above a whisper and was trying not to sob.

It hurt to hear but Aaron was glad he wasn’t pretending he didn’t need the company or putting himself down over it “good, I’ll be right back.” They hung up and Aaron went about telling Jack that daddy needed to go help Spencer with something and getting the boy to put on his shoes and pick up a toy to play with as they went to the neighbour’s house. A couple of neighbours on the street were pretty much always available, one being an older woman and grandmother herself who spent most of her time gardening and the other working from home but always open to help out. 

Luckily the first house he tried Jack was immediately welcomed in as Aaron explained he just needed and hour or two and the neighbour was very happy to watch the boy, Jack quickly playing with the house cat and Hotch said a thank you before going on his way. Getting into his car Aaron dialled Spencer again and put his cell on speaker as he drove to the genius’ apartment, when the call was answered he clearly wasn’t feeling any better and likely feeling a bit embarrassed about being so upset out of the blue. 

Truth was even if Spencer was crying literally over spilled milk - it was fine, whatever comfort or reassurance he needed Hotch was happy to give it and he remembered a couple of really tough weeks when Haley was pregnant. Luckily it had been brief and during a generally low stress time but the mood swings and hormones could be so random and powerful it was hard to know up from down. The confusion alone was hard to handle, never mind when that kind of hormonal or highly emotional response was attached to either extreme, to cry over something small or seemingly ridiculous, or even worse was to be even more emotional on an already difficult or emotional topic. 

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m on my way over” Aaron greeted softly and he heard Spencer still sniffling and the occasionally hiccups as he tried to find the words to explain his upset it was not helping him calm down so Hotch added “you don’t need to explain, just sit down and breathe, I want you to talk to me but take a minute.”

Then Spencer through a sniffle got out the words “I…I can’t, I…I know you love me, you w-…I-I’m being paranoid, it’s s-stupid…” and another wave of emotion hit him hard and Aaron continued to focus on the road though the genius’ words were a little confusing and at least on a topic he could assure him about with confidence.

“Yes, of course I love you,” he said like it was the easiest thing in the world and in many ways it was, “did you question that?” Aaron asked neutrally, it wouldn't be uncommon at such times to become a little ‘paranoid’ as Spencer had put it and if there were any doubts for even a moment Aaron wanted to know even if the reasons were irrational and silly. 

However immediately the genius said “no! oh, I'm such a m-moron” through more sniffles and Aaron felt a pang in his chest, Spencer clearly having taken the question the wrong way or like to have any doubts might have been hard on Aaron to hear which wasn’t the case. 

“Spencer, that wasn't accusatory,” Hotch replied calmly even if he really felt like not being able to hold Spencer just then was painful “if your mind or hormones or whatever else could make you think that for even a second I know it’s not entirely _you_ , I know you don’t really think that…” he chose his words carefully and though the crying continued there weren't the same heavy sobs “but I…I understand that things piling up might make you able to _feel_ like questioning it - that’s _normal_ ” he emphasised, hoping Spencer might be able to take the words on board and through the tears he seemed to have been listening. 

“It…it is?” the young agent questioned, his voice so innocent and an audible hiccup could be heard to which Aaron felt like things might start to finally get put under control, even a little. 

“Yes, it’s a vulnerable time and you'll naturally be seeking out security,” Aaron said and decided one of the best ways to help Spencer, specifically a man of facts and logic was to argue as such “it’s a survival thing…you want to know for sure your home, partner and baby are safe and as cared for as possible, being in the process of moving and others finding out, on top of the hormones and everything else…it’s okay if that scared you but don't feel stupid for having it affect you.”

There was a long moment of quiet, the only noises were Spencer sniffling and hiccuping, trying to get himself calmer and gradually it worked at least a little though he was still crying and had a lot to unpack still. “I…A-Aaron…it just _scared_ me really bad…” Reid confessed, his voice like a frightened child almost and felt himself grip the steering wheel a little tighter, wishing he could get to the apartment quicker somehow.

Exhaling to calm any tension Aaron listened as the genius took deep breaths and slowly started to accept that any upset or emotional outburst was more than alright and he wasn’t ‘stupid’ or a ‘moron’ for any of it. “It’s okay…talk to me, I won’t be offended, what happened?” Aaron asked trying to find out just how things spiralled as they had and to put any anxieties at bay that he could.

Eventually after a few false starts and Aaron assuring him to take his time Reid finally found the words “I…I was thinking about my m-mom” Spencer said, his voice a little raspy from crying and breaking in places “…and h-how my dad left because she got too sick, and…th-then….I got upset thinking about…about if I h-have what my mom h-has…”

Hearing that everything clicked into place and Aaron let his shoulders soften a little as he realised just what sparked the whole thing, it was more than understandable that such a topic could make him upset even on a good day from time to time never mind with everything else magnifying it or making his emotions more intense or confusing. Knowing just how hard a thing that would be to process Hotch really felt for Spencer in that moment and was glad he had decided to drive out to see him. 

“Spencer…” he started and even though the genius was still crying he could just tell how much attention was focused on Aaron’s response so he made it very clear “you know….even if we haven’t talked about it before…just know I don't care if you have it…there are ways to treat it and…I’m _not_ leaving.”

Spencer’s sniffles continued as he was trying to get his emotions under control along with his breathing and maybe he just needed a good cry but eventually something inaudible through the sobs. Unable to decipher it Hotch spoke “Sweetheart, I can’t hear you…I really mean it, I know if you have schizophrenia that it isn’t easy…but I will never leave you because of it,” he said surely and it was true, at least for him. 

Aaron, a man disenchanted by now to ideas of ‘soulmates’ given his divorce - but not bitterly, if anything it made him appreciate his relationship with Spencer even more. How two people in such a vast and complex world can meet and so effortlessly fit together was nothing short of miraculous. He still believed in love and happiness, special connections and all the rest of it, but life was also hard and he was just as realistic about that too, but again - not bitterly. It simply meant that he knew he would be willing to withstand a great deal of hardship for their relationship if it was called for. Hotch loved him, it sounded sappy but it was true, and he wanted a life with Spencer even if there were downs with the ups, that was just part of life. 

Yet again Reid tried to speak and finally it was audible, sweetly it seemed to mirror Aaron’s thoughts when he said “I…I love you, Aaron” Spencer repeated what must have been muffled before and it was so tenderly said Hotch finally found himself smiling but it was also due to how he was close to the genius’ building. “I’m s-sorry, I wasn't doubting you, I…I g-got s-s-o scared, and it didn’t m-mean anything…I couldn't stop thinking about it” Spencer reasoned, more with himself than to tell his boyfriend before adding “…and if the baby…if…” he struggled as a new wave of tears hit “I love the baby so much, Aaron, wh-what if I pass it on?” his voice kept breaking, a slight whimpering sound to it though it wasn’t the all out sobs from earlier.

It was understandably a hard topic to swallow and Spencer was rightfully upset, especially with hormones and so much to deal with, but it hurt to hear him like this and Aaron had to prove how great a rock he was and a simple remedy was to make Spencer feel safe and loved until the emotional struggle passed. “We’ll handle it” Hotch said so simply, a warmth to it even, before adding at least a little logic to the situation “you love your mom, right?”

“O-of course” Spencer managed to say.

“And you love the baby,” Aaron brought up and his tone was steady, “schizophrenia doesn't change any part of that for you…and it doesn't change any part of that for me either” Hotch made clear, that same unmoving loyalty applied to Reid just as Reid applied it to his mother and his unborn child. “I know it’s hard because parents always want the world for their children…but…our baby is already so loved and so looked out for by me and you, by Jack, by the team…” listing all the people already so invested in supporting whatever came their way seemed to help the genius’ nerves and while he still didn’t have his crying fully under control the worst of it passed, breathing hitching from time to time. 

“There are ways to manage this and live a full life…and I’m gonna be one big part of making sure that happens, for you and the baby, for as long as I breathe,” Aaron said sincerely and he wished he could see Spencer’s reactions more than just hear them, to hold him in the tough moment “I hope you know that…”

“…I-I believe you…” Spencer managed, his voice quiet but much to the older man’s relief it was out of the crying that affected his voice as he sounded genuine “it…it was never that I didn’t…” he struggled a bit to find the words but he explained what he could “thank you for saying that, I _do_ believe you, I-I don’t know…I c-can’t explain, it just hurt, the _idea_ hurt…”

Aaron turned onto Spencer’s street and let out a small sigh, glad to hear the genius speaking clearer even if he was still feeling intensely emotional “I know…I’m nearly at your place and I will hold you, get all the oxytocin going you need” Aaron said with a smile and to his relief the genius laughed, through sniffles but it was still a laugh and a small victory to cling to. “This’ll pass,” Aaron reminded the genius “tomorrow morning you’ll be thinking about the nursery, a craving or a case, this is just one factor in many…but if it’s upsetting you right now, this moment, and you just need a good cry or to talk it out, we can do that.”

“O-Okay…” Spencer replied and a cute hiccup was heard over the call, and Aaron finally got to parking his car “how…how far are y-you..?” he asked and it made Aaron smile, a good step that the genius was seeking his company now rather than embarrassed for being upset in the first place. 

“I’m just here” Aaron replied as he grabbed his phone “I’ll be right up, love” he chimed and hung up exiting his car. As he looked up to the apartment window and true enough the curtain twitched as the genius looked down at him, it was hard to see but he still gave a small wave adorably and it was returned. 


End file.
